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Film: Queens Logic
Queens Logic is a comedy/drama film from 1991 with an All-Star Cast including Joe Mantegna, Ken Olin, Kevin Bacon, Linda Fiorentino, Chloe Webb, John Malkovich, Tom Waits, Ed Marinaro, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Tony Spiridakis, who also co-wrote the script.

Ray (Olin), a painter, is set to marry Patty (Webb), who owns her own hair salon, but he's having second thoughts. Meanwhile, Al (Mantegna), his cousin, who owns a fishery, is happily married, or so he thinks, to Carla (Fiorentino), but when he shows up several hours late for their anniversary, she cold-cocks him and leaves him, taking their kids with her. During that weekend, as Ray and Al's friends, including Vinnie (Spiridakis), an actor, Dennis (Bacon), a musician, and Eliot (Malkovich), who owns the fishery with Al, gather to prepare for Ray's wedding or not-wedding, there's plenty of soul-searching and laughter from everyone.

Though it didn't get much of a theatrical release (and was released straight-to-DVD in countries such as Britain and Canada), it has gained a small cult following thanks to its cast.

This film contains examples of:

  • Actor Allusion: At the nightclub the guys all go to, it's Dennis who's the biggest show-off on the dance floor, which may remind some of an earlier Kevin Bacon dancing movie.
    Jeremy: What's with your friend?
    Eliot: Dennis has problems.
    Jeremy: Problems?
  • All Men Are Perverts: Al, Dennis and Vinnie definitely fall into this category (though Al later subverts this when he turns down an invitation from a girl in the men's bathroom at a club, and stops Ray from taking her up on it).
    Al: (sing-song) There's a monster in my pants! And it makes me want to dance!
  • Ax-Crazy: Grace at first seems like she's going to be a straight version of this trope, but she ultimately subverts it; she's just trying to teach Al a lesson.
  • Berserk Button: While Al is volatile, he especially gets pissed when he sees Joey Clams, or his nephew, around. Becomes a Brick Joke later.
    • Carla also does not appreciate being stood up for several hours on her anniversary.
  • Big Applesauce: Mostly set in Queens, though parts of it are also set in Manhattan.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: Al's attempts to apologize to Carla at first:
    Al: Carla, come on.
    Carla: Come on what?
    Al: Okay.
    Carla: Okay what?
    Al: Okay.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Monty.
    Patty: The guy buys a new Monte Carlo every year cause his name's Monty.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Elliot.
  • '80s Hair: While driving around during the opening credits, Al comes across a woman with this, and can't resist commenting:
    Al: You don't know me, and I don't know you, so let's cut to the chase, shall we? Your hair! Hey, I'm just trying to be honest here! I don't know if it's a wig, or what, but I can work with that!
    Woman: (chuckling) Go away, Al, before I do you with my hairspray.
    Al: Hey, I'll come back later with some hedge clippers; we'll do a sexy hair-cutting thing!
  • Flipping the Bird: During that same drive during the opening credits, Al comes upon a woman he finds attractive, and starts flirting with her. Her response is to flip him off.
  • Gone Swimming, Clothes Stolen: Carla steals everyone's clothes while they're swimming in a public pool at night. Typically, Al doesn't mind, but the others can't wait to get back to his car to cover themselves.
    Carla: (to Patty, as she walks into her apartment with all the clothes) Burn these.
    Patty: What happened to the bodies?
  • Happy Flashback: We see a young Al climbing the rope at the Hellgate Bridge, while a young Carla, Dennis, Patty and Vinnie look on. Becomes another Brick Joke later.
  • Hey, It's That Guy!: Karen is a woman Vinnie has a rather disastrous date with (see Vomit Discretion Shot below).
  • Large Ham: Al, all the way. Lampshaded by him later.
    Al: "Al, you're not a fish monger, you're a lounge act!"
  • Leitmotif: When Al first climbs the Hellgate Bridge, we hear Louis Armstrong's version of "World on a String", and we see Al singing it as well. When Al tries to climb it again, he sings it again.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: In playing Cecil, Todd Field, a California native, plays a Nu Yawker pretending to be British. The British accent he actually handles pretty well. The New York accent, on the other hand...
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Dennis, as referenced above in Actor Allusion. Averted with Al:
    Grace: (as hip-hop music plays) Got stress, huh?
    Al: Who wouldn't? This music would make Will Rogers punch a nun!
  • Shout-Out: Al at one point sings "The Good Life" by Tony Bennett, and imitates him as well.
    • When firing three people from his fishery, Al refers to them as "Curly, Larry and Moe."
    • Late in the movie, Dennis (on trumpet) and Marty (on piano) play the theme from Ordinary People.
  • Starving Artist: Averted with Ray - not only does he seem to make a good living on his paintings, but Patty owning her own business gives him a cushion - but, as we find out later, played straight with Dennis.
  • Straight Gay: Eliot. As he explains to Vinnie, while he's gay, he doesn't like other gay men, and proves it by rejecting the advances of one. Later, however, it's implied he's getting together with Marty.
  • Vomit Discretion Shot: Vinnie brings home a date, and in the midst of them kissing each other, she pushes him away and says, "bathroom". Vinnie, of course, thinks she wants to have sex in the bathroom, so he follows her, only to find her vomiting in the toilet.
    • What makes the scene funny is this whole time, Al has been leaving a long message for Vinnie, and when Vinnie picks up the phone in the bathroom, Al (and Eliot, who's in the office with him) can hear her. Of course, Al can't resist commenting.
  • Waxing Lyrical: When Eliot is greeting people as they enter Ray's bachelor party that isn't, he says, "This ain't no bachelor party, this ain't no disco."
  • Your Cheating Heart: Averted; while Ray does become attracted to a woman at his not-bachelor party, and Patty walks in on them when she's lying next to him, nothing happens.
    • Similarly, earlier in the film, Dennis confesses his feelings to Patty, but she kindly but firmly rebuffs him, and even after she walks in on Ray and the other woman, and Dennis comforts her about it, neither of them take the next step.
    • And Carla thinks this about Al when he leaves the party with Grace, but it's averted there as well.
Pure LuckFilms of the 1990sRaise the Red Lantern

alternative title(s): Queens Logic
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