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'''''One, Two, Three''''' is a comedy movie by Creator/BillyWilder from 1961. Set in UsefulNotes/{{Berlin}} shortly before the wall was built, it's about the boss of Coca-Cola West Berlin, who has to care for the daughter of his boss spending her holiday there. And tries to do business with some Communists, to expand Coca-Cola beyond the Iron Curtain. And finds his marriage is about to fall apart. Plenty of HilarityEnsues.

Things seem to be going fine for C. R. [=MacNamara=] (JamesCagney): Coca-Cola is doing well in West Germany, and he's about to seal a deal with the Soviet trade commission to get the brand past the Iron Curtain. Hoping this will earn him a prized position in London, sadly Mac has to jump through one more hoop. The daughter of his boss is on a tour of Europe and said boss ''insists'' that Mac look after her. So for over a month Scarlett Hazeltine (Pamela Tiffin) is a guest of the [=MacNamara's=]. Thankfully her parents have made plans to come and take her home. Unfortunately, Scarlet's new ''husband'' Otto Ludwig Piffl (Horst Buchholz) has other plans. It seems that Scarlett had been sneaking out of the house the whole time she was with the [=MacNamara's=] and slipped behind the Iron Curtain to have fun on the town. Which is where she ran into the young Communist, and naturally, they fell in love...[[SarcasmMode naturally]]. At first Mac tries to get the marriage annulled by hook and by crook, but then it turns out that Scarlett is pregnant! So now Mac must make Otto acceptable to Scarlett's conservative high society parents or he'll be thrown out into the streets.

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!!Examples:

* TheAllegedCar: The Soviet trade delegation's Moskvitch 407.
-->"Is exact replica of 1937 Nash!"
** It isn't. It's a much smaller car with up-to-date late '50s styling. How the Vopos wound up with a French Simca Aronde instead of an East German or Soviet model is pure movie magic, too...
* AllGermansAreNazis: Played with. [=MacNamara=] has a former SS member as his assistant; one scene shows his employees acting like complete robots when issued orders. This comes in handy when Schlemmer [[spoiler:gives away that the investigative reporter who threatens to expose the whole deal is a former SS officer]].
* AllGirlsWantBadBoys: And during UsefulNotes/ColdWar, no one was worse than a Commie.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: One of the thing that really annoys [=MacNamara=] about the East German Commies is that they buy Coca-Cola in West Berlin but don't return the empties.
* BaitAndSwitch: The very movie starts with it. [=MacNamara=] starts talking how America was looking to UsefulNotes/WashingtonDC on August the 13th of 1961... for a baseball game. Oh, by the way, on the same day the Commies built TheBerlinWall.
* BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord: The aforementioned IntrepidReporter is unable to be put off even with extravagant bribes [[spoiler:until Schlemmer does a Nazi salute to him in front of [=MacNamara=]. The reporter quickly backs off]].
* BrickJoke: At least two:
** [=MacNamara=] is annoyed because Commies keep buying Coke in West Berlin, drinking it in East Berlin, but don't return the bottles. When he and his crew drive to East Berlin to spring Otto from prison, they have an uncomfortable few minutes waiting at the Brandenburg Gate because the border guard makes them wait so he can fetch the emptied six-pack of Coca-Cola (that [=MacNamara=] had given to him earlier to let him through with no questions asked) from the guard-room.
** When [=MacNamara=] wants to make a phone call to East Berlin, his assistant Schlemmer tells him that it is very complicated, as there are no direct lines and the call will have to be routed on a circuitous route via Stockholm and Warsaw. And then you often get the wrong number. At a later point in the film Schlemmer cheerfully announces to [=MacNamara=] that the call finally got through. "And like I told you: Wrong number."
* TheCameo: The hotel orchestra playing the German version of "Yes, We Have No Bananas" is conducted by composer Friedrich Hollaender ("[[Film/TheBlueAngel Falling in Love Again]]"). Red Buttons appears as US military policeman.
* CatchPhrase: [=MacNamara=] has two: "Sitzen machen!"[[note]] The ungrammatical German phrase can be rendered as "sitting make!" in English.[[/note]] and "SCHLEMMER!!!" Both are [[BorrowedCatchphrase borrowed]] by other characters in the course of the movie.
* ClumsyCopyrightCensorship: Completely and utterly averted. Creator/JoanCrawford, at the time a major stockholder of Pepsi, was enraged by what she saw as blatant product placement. [[TakeThat In response]], the very last gag in the film involves Pepsi -- [=MacNamara=] puts a nickel in a Coke machine at Templehof airport and is rather annoyed that he receives... a bottle of Pepsi.
* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
-->'''Peripetchikoff:''' We have emergency meeting with Swiss Trade Delegation. They send us twenty car-loads of cheese. Totally unacceptable... full of holes.
* ComicallySmallBribe: [=MacNamara=] gets the East German border guards at the Brandenburg Gate to wave his car through and not ask inconvenient questions by giving them ... a six-pack of Coca-Cola.
* UsefulNotes/ColdWar: The film is set in 1961, and some events get referenced, for instance [=MacNamara=] says he got his "Yankee Doodle" cuckoo clock as a present from his employees to commemorate the Berlin Airlift.
* CoolAndUnusualPunishment[=/=]LoudOfWar: The communist who married the daughter of Coca Cola's CEO is being tortured in East Berlin ... by being forced to listen to "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polkadot Bikini" on repeat for hours on end. When that is not enough, they play it with the record spindle off-center. He writhes in pain and finally caves in, confessing to being an American spy.
* CrossDresser: [[spoiler:Schlemmer disguises in Ingeborg's dress to fool the Russians, so they'll let Otto free.]]
* DeadpanSnarker: [=MacNamara=]'s wife Phyllis.
--> ''(after [=MacNamara=] comes up with a wild story about Otto being a secret agent with a posthumous medal)'' "Why don't you give one to yourself? First-class heel with oak leaf cluster!"
* DefectorFromDecadence: Two Russian spies were sent to discover the Coca Cola secret formula, and ended up becoming successful American businessmen. [[spoiler: Some of the Russians end up defecting too]].
* DirtyCommies
* TheDitz: Scarlett, definitely.
* DoubleMeaning: Schlemmer told [=MacNamara=] that during World War II he had been "with the underground", correctly assuming that [=MacNamara=] would take that to mean "with the anti-Nazi resistance". In the course of the movie, when it emerges that that is not the case, he lamely explains he was with the [[UsefulNotes/BerlinUAndSBahn underground railway system]].
* FunWithPalindromes: Scarlett finds it exciting that "Otto" reads the same back to front.
* UsefulNotes/GermanDialects: In the original version, the ''Volkspolizisten'' interrogating Otto speak standard High German, in the German dub they speak with a Saxon accent, which at the time was perceived as ''the'' East German one, not least because SED party chief Walter Ulbricht had a noticeable one.
* GodwinsLaw: In a sign of maybe not the healthiest marriage, Phyllis refers to her husband as "Mein Führer."
* GoingCommando: Scarlett proudly tells Phyllis [=MacNamara=] that her husband Otto does not even wear underwear. Phyllis' response: "No wonder we are losing the Cold War!"
* GoneHorriblyRight: [=MacNamara=]'s scheme to turn Otto into a suitable son-in-law for the Hazeltines succeeds so well that they award Otto the position as head of European distribution to which [=MacNamara=] had been aspiring for years.
* TheGreatPoliticsMessUp: This time the other way round. Before August 1961, people could cross the border between West and East Berlin quite easily - which millions of East Germans used to move to the promised golden west. The movie was based on this premise and suffered when the wall was built.
* GuileHero: [=MacNamara=] is one of the nominal kind.
* HistoryMarchesOn: When production commenced in Berlin, there was no wall. Halfway through production, the Deutsche Demokratische Republik decided, [[{{Understatement}} quite inconveniently]], to erect the first layers of what would eventually become Die Mauer. This threw a monkey wrench in the plans of the filmmakers, especially when they had obtained permits to shoot near the Brandenburg Gate. It also meant that as mentioned above, that the movie entered theaters already dated with a side of TooSoon.
** In-movie there is the Grand Hotel [[Film/BattleshipPotemkin Potemkin]], formerly Grand Hotel [[ThoseWackyNazis Goering]], and before that Grand Hotel [[UsefulNotes/OttoVonBismarck Bismarck]]. And the scene where Ingeborg's energetic dance causes the portrait of Khrushchev to fall out of its frame, revealing a portrait of Stalin.
* HyperCompetentSidekick: Schlemmer (Hanns Lothar) often is this to [=MacNamara=], as he is the one who has to implement most of his zany schemes.
* ImpoverishedPatrician: Count von Droste-Schattenburg, currently working as a restroom attendant. He [[spoiler:is paid to adopt Otto]]. Evidently his family has had money problems for a long time, as he shows [=MacNamara=] a photo of the ruins of his ancestral castle - destroyed not in World War II, but by the Turks in the 17th century.
* ImprobablyCoolCar: [=MacNamara's=] "Adenauer" Mercedes; a regional Coca-Cola plant manager in Germany in 1961 would have had at most a smaller, near-taxi-spec "Ponton" Mercedes, but more likely an Opel Rekord or Ford Taunus or even a VW Beetle as a company car. Mac's independently wealthy, though, so maybe he bought it with his own money at a better price than he could've gotten back home in the US.
* InsaneTrollLogic: [=MacNamara=] is annoyed that everybody stops working and stands at attention whenever he enters the main office room, because it's hardly in keeping with the values of freedom and democracy. Schlemmer tries to explain to him that it is because the employees have internalized these values that they keep doing it. He ordered them to stop standing at attention, but they keep disobeying him!
* ItsAllAboutMe: [=MacNamara=] is quite happy to feed newlywed Otto to the East German secret police to save his career, flips out when it's discovered that Scarlett is pregnant because of what the boss will do to ''him'', and completely ignores the fact that his wife has completely had it with globetrotting and his behavior.
* KickedUpstairs: The fate that [=MacNamara=] is trying to avoid for most of the film: reassignment to the home office in Atlanta. [[spoiler:It happens in the end, but he faces it with equanimity, since it will let him be closer to his family.]]
* LargeHam: James Cagney's performance here exhausted him so much that he retired.
* {{Leitmotif}}: The ''Internationale'' for the Commies, ''Yankee Doodle'' for [=MacNamara=] and to signal how quickly time passes, as it's the tune played by his cuckoo clock.
* {{Lzherusskie}}: The Russian characters are played by Austrian and German actors.
* MisplacedNationalism: Parodied when Jimmy Cagney is upset with Coca-Cola heiress Scarlett for taking part in a "Yankee, Go Home" rally: "But back home, ''everybody'' hates the Yankees!" ("Ami, Go Home" would have been a completely different thing, of course...)
* MoscowCentre: [[spoiler: Borodenko (Ralf Wolter)]], one of the members of the Soviet trade delegation, is actually a KGB agent with the job to watch the other two.
* NominalHero: [=MacNamara=]. He cheats on his wife, neglects his children, and all of his actions are motivated entirely by self-interest. To get the prize job in London (for which he already has bought a new umbrella) he has no scruples to destroy the happiness of a young couple, make vanish the marriage documents from the registry office, frame the bridegroom as an American spy, destroying his intended career and at the very least ensuring that he spent several years in prison. Then unfortunately it turns out Scarlett is pregnant...
* OnSecondThought: After the Russians realize Otto has been arrested as a spy, they start to waver on rescuing him:
-->'''Peripetchikoff:''' Do you know what happens if I defect? They will line up my family and shoot them! My wife, my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law...({{Beat}})...Let's do it!
* OnlySaneWoman: Phyllis, who pokes holes in [=MacNamara=]'s ZanyScheme logic, and is generally unimpressed with the absurd goings-on.
* ProductPlacement: No wonder, if the main character is a Coca-Cola exec.
* PygmalionPlot: [=MacNamara=] has ten hours to turn Otto from a slovenly Communist to a dapper businessman worthy of the boss's daughter.
* Music/RideOfTheValkyries: The doctor who diagnoses that Scarlett is, what's the English word, ''pregnant'' mentions that he just missed the first act of ''[[Theatre/TheRingOfTheNibelung Die Walküre]]'' and rushes off to catch the rest of the opera, happily humming "''schwanger'' is pregnant" to this tune. Not long after the fully orchstrated version can be heard as [=MacNamara=] and co. dash to East Berlin at night to snatch Otto out of the jaws of the East German police.
* RoyallyScrewedUp: Apparently Count Droste-Schattenburg's family, at least he takes perverse pride in being descended from a hemophiliac ancestor.
* ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney: Bribery is a large part of [=MacNamara=]'s modus operandi throughout the movie, which e. g. enables him to [[spoiler: have Otto's and Scarlett's wedding papers removed from the East Berlin registry office and later returned and to get Count von Droste-Schattenburg to adopt Otto.]] Luckily for him, the Communists don't ask for that much and he can force Otto to vouch for part of the expenses.
* SexySecretary: Ingeborg, played by Lilo Pulver.
* ShoutOut: To ''Film/LittleCaesar'', ''Film/YankeeDoodleDandy'', ''Film/ThePublicEnemy'', ''Film/{{Ninotchka}}''.
** The name of the hotel in East Berlin, Grand Hotel Potemkin, is obviously a shout-out to ''Film/BattleshipPotemkin'' and not the Czarist general and lover of Catherine the Great.
** A passionately romantic young woman from Atlanta called ''[[Film/GoneWithTheWind Scarlett]]''? Who'd have thought!
* UsefulNotes/TheSpaceRace: At the time of the filming, the Soviet Union was still ahead, prompting Otto (who dreams of becoming a rocket scientist himself) to make a rather cruel joke to [=MacNamara=]: "Soviet rocket: whoosh, up to the moon! American rocket: pffft, pffft, Miami Beach."
* ViewersAreMorons: When Schlemmer recognises the reporter as his former SS officer, he addresses him as "Herr Oberleutnant" (the equivalent of a (First) Lieutenant), a rank familiar to English-speaking viewers, but which was not actually used in the SS. The German dub has Schlemmer saying "Herr Obersturmführer", which does give away that the man is a Nazi, as ''Obersturmführer'' was the equivalent of ''Oberleutnant'' in the SS and the SA.
* WhatDoesSheSeeInHim: Ingeborg and Peripetchikoff (Leon Askin).
* WideEyedIdealist: Otto about Communism. He even thinks it's a capitalist lie that Siberia is cold, and is happy that the Communists assigned them "a magnificent apartment, just a short walk from the bathroom!".
* YiddishAsASecondLanguage: When a man enters shouting "Schmuck!", [=MacNamara=] at first thinks he's calling him a bad name.[[note]] In case you wondered, the Yiddish pejorative "schmuck" also exists in German, but with a different spelling and pronunciation: "Schmock". It also has a slightly different meaning and connotations, and is considered a much milder term than in American English.[[/note]] It turns out the guy is bringing the jewelry he ordered to kit out the bride and groom.
* YouNoTakeCandle: The Russians.
* ZanyScheme: At one point, they need a ZanyScheme to revert the effects of another one. Which they are responsible for.
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