[[caption-width-right:200:And if you don't believe in it, [[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 Merlin WILL kill you]].]]

->''"It's called Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders - and it's a ''[[BlatantLies delightful]]'' Disney/{{Bambi}} [[BlatantLies romp through a flowery fairyland of happy, harmless, frou-frou]] [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment family fun for the whole family of all ages]]. '''OR IS IT!?!''' Taste the rainbow of fruit pain!"'' (EvilLaugh)
-->--'''Pearl Forrester''', from the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' presentation

Born of quite possibly one of the most moronic cases of ExecutiveMeddling ever, ''Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders'' started as a horror anthology directed by Kenneth J. Berton. Unfortunately, the movie studios didn't want any more horror as family films were all the rage then. As a result, a flimsy FramingDevice about a child and his deeply unhinged grandfather (a poorly veiled AuthorAvatar played by a disturbingly big Creator/ErnestBorgnine) who tells his grandson stories during a power cut was attached (the program the grandson was watching before the power went out reminded Grandpa Borgnine "of a story [he] once wrote for TV"), a scene involving a sťance turned into the ShowWithinAShow ColdOpen, and umm...not a lot else changed.

The first story is about an uptight critic with an infertile wife who won't shut up about it who tries to criticize Merlin (who has apparently downgraded from serving the great King Arthur to running a joke shop in a strip mall in a bland Northern Californian town) for not being magical. So, Merlin gives him a spell book, to teach him a lesson. Naturally, this goes badly, and the man summons a demon, sets fire to the cat, almost impales himself and almost crushes himself. In the end, while trying to [[FountainOfYouth make himself younger]], he conveniently turns into a baby, and his wife (now his mother) enters into possibly the {{Squick}}iest relationship ever to appear in a "family" film.

Then, Merlin's beloved wind-up monkey (AKA "rock and roll Martian") gets stolen (this monkey was seen on TV earlier, and is what inspired Grandpa Borgnine to tell this story), eventually making its way into the hands of a cute family at least a dozen years in the past, and shot on completely different film stock to the rest of the movie (the whole sequence was cut down from the same director's first, and only other feature, ''Film/TheDevilsGift''). Being a smart guy, Merlin of course came up with a "homing spell" that would return the demon-possessed, death-curse-causing toy monkey to his possession on command, and because he's a ''really'' smart guy he then promptly forgot to actually use the homing spell on the monkey before it was stolen.

Best known now as [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S10E03MerlinsShopOfMysticalWonders the last episode (though technically it was episode three of season ten)]] of ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' broadcast during the series original run (it didn't air until after the GrandFinale, ''Film/DangerDiabolik'', due to rights issues).

!!This film provides examples of:

* AdaptationInducedPlothole: The character of Susan (whom most viewers assume from this version is the mother, but is in fact David's girlfriend) vanishes halfway through the second part of the film. This is because in ''The Devil's Gift'', [[spoiler:David accidentally killed her when he threw her out of his home after he came home and saw her trying to drown Michael]]. Apparently even '''this''' film had its limits.
* ArtifactOfDeath: The monkey with the Cymbals.
* AsYouKnow: The critic's wife/mother is clearly incapable of going five minutes without mentioning her infertility.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor
* BigDamnHeroes: [[spoiler:Merlin stopping the monkey]] at the very end of the second story.
* BigNo: David when he sees the monkey about to kill his son.
* BreathWeapon: The spell to summon a spirit gives the user "dragon's breath" as a side effect.
* CanonForeigner: Zurella. They could've at least named her Nimue or something...
* CastFromLifespan: Mr. Cooper finds out the hard way that this is what happens when you cast spells willy nilly. Only a rejuvenation spell can make you young again. (Presumably Merlin and Zurella are immortal so they don't have this problem, even if they choose to '''look''' old for some reason.)
* CatsAreMean: Yeah, but only if you cast spells on them without knowing what you're doing. Otherwise, they're quite pleasant.
* CharacterShilling: All the characters in the ''Devil's Gift'' segment seem to think the ObviouslyEvil toy monkey is the most awesome thing ever. Even after it's been in the trash and/or '''buried in an earthquake'''.
* CymbalBangingMonkey: The villain of the second part of the film.
* DemonicDummy: The monkey.
* DisproportionateRetribution: Johnathan threatens to write a bad review about Merlin's store. Merlin retaliates by having him turned into a baby to be raised by his former wife. Well, okay, she's still kind of his wife, but still.
** You almost get the feeling (at least based on this cut) that the monkey tries to kill the kid because David tried to get rid of it by putting it in the trash. And this is '''after''' it has already killed '''two''' family pets. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And the houseplants. And a fly.]]
* FramingDevice: The grandfather telling his kid '''horrifying''' stories, thus showing the action of the film. Even sillier when you consider the long scenes of nothing happening in ''The Devil's Gift''.
--->'''Servo:''' Man, Borgnine's grandkid must be really bored right now.
--->'''Mike Nelson''': (As Grandpa Borgnine telling the story) "...And then he puttered around the kitchen for a while, and got himself a cold drink."
* HandWave: On top of '''another''' HandWave. Ernest Borgnine tries to get around the fact that Merlin's book from the first story was still with the family at the end of the story by saying it had a "homing spell" that causes it to return to Merlin. When the monkey gets stolen in the second story, however, Merlin apparently can't just summon it back the same way because Zurella says he "forgot" to put the homing spell on it.
* HappilyEverAfter: The last scene was originally a DownerEnding, but was changed so Merlin saved the family. The film even added clumsy sounds of the family getting out of the house (offscreen, of course). The monkey shown in the Merlin footage is clearly '''not''' the same toy. Or the house. Or the lighting.
** In a twisted way, the first story ends on this note. Sure, it's creepy that she's raising her husband, but she finally has the baby she could never give birth to.
* HopeSpot: Despite the very forces of nature fighting him, David buries the monkey, and everyone's happy... but someone digs it up and sells it to his mother, who decides it would make a good present for her grandson. Well, time to die! Err... I mean, barely escape with your lives, [[EndingFatigue again]], [[DeusExMachina when Merlin saves you]]!
* JerkAss: The critic in the first segment
* LawOfInverseFertility: The critic and his wife in the first segment.
* LegCling: Though why they thought [[FetishRetardant Merlin's wife]] was a good choice for this...
* LysistrataGambit: Inverted in the oddest way imaginable: Merlin's wife actually appears to '''threaten''' to have sex with him! She's probably intended to be threatening him with violence, but it's quite poorly written.
-->'''Merlin:''' Don't I get a kiss?\\
'''Zurella:''' You'll get a lot more than that if you don't get out there and find [[CymbalBangingMonkey that thing]]! Now, go!
** One look at the two of them and the audience is certainly threatened
* MoodWhiplash: Thanks again to that ExecutiveMeddling: the creators' attempt to neuter the more steadily ([[{{Narm}} cough]]) macabre second half was to add intentionally comical scenes of Merlin, in full regalia, wandering around town looking for a cymbal-banging monkey. The effect is something like randomly cutting together ''TheTwilightZone'' and ''PeeWeesPlayhouse''.
* NightmareFuelStationAttendant: Grandpa Borgnine and, {{metafiction}}ally, the executives. Seriously, who the HELL thinks KillEmAll horror is an appropriate genre for the bedtime stories of a seven year old!?
* NoAccountingForTaste: One really wonders why the hell the critic's wife stuck with him so long, to the point of wanting to have his child.
* ObviouslyEvil: The movie wants you to think the little monkey looks like a charming children's toy. Just ignore those staring, dead glass eyes, and that [[TheUnsmile rictus non-grin]] and focus on the CharacterShilling.
* OffscreenTeleportation: The monkey falls into an earthquake fault. We're free, right? WRONG!
** TheCatCameBack: Seriously, no matter '''what''' David does, that damn thing won't stay gone.
* ParentingTheHusband: The end of the first story. '''[[{{Squick}} Literally]]'''.
-->'''Crow''': That's what most wives think they do anyway.
* PostersAlwaysLie: Hee, hee, check out elderly Zurella in the poster.
** Along with that, there is no castle, the troll and dragon are only seen for a few seconds at the shop (we only see parts of the dragon) and Merlin never does magic. Nothing to denote the actual plot either.
* ThePublicDomainChannel
** "[[WesternAnimation/BalloonLand I'm the ol' PIN-CUSHION MAN! Terror of Balloony-land!]]" David's son watches the old Ub Iwerks cartoon ''WesternAnimation/BalloonLand'' (a.k.a. ''ThePincushionMan'') in one scene.
** There's also the show the kid is watching near the beginning, which is less public domain and more footage from ''The Devil's Gift''.
** Averted, the other cartoon shown is ''The Series/{{Ultraman}}'' anime.
* RaiseHimRightThisTime: A somewhat disturbing example.
* ScienceIsBad: Well, Merlin thinks so.
* ShowWithinAShow: Borgnine and son are watching the seance scene of ''The Devil's Gift'', which rather oddly was the film that much of the footage was taken from.
* SmallNameBigEgo: Has anyone ever taken a local store critic as seriously as Mr. Cooper seems to think they do?
-->"My reviews have destroyed whole cities!"
* StrawCritic: "I chew up places like this and spit them into the toilet!"
* TheEighties: Most of the scenes were filmed in this era, and the obvious '80s feel jars with the Borgnine bits, which were filmed much later.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: Merlin's book of spells, most of which summon Beelzebub and/or cause death in imaginative ways.
-->'''Mike:''' (After Cooper has used the book to give himself [[BreathWeapon "dragon's breath"]].) Clearly, Merlin has brought ''good'' into the world!
* VertigoEffect: When David sees the monkey in his house '''one last time'''.
* [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse What Happened To The Mom?]]: The girlfriend of the family in the second half disappears about halfway through that story. That's because in ''The Devil's Gift'', [[spoiler:the monkey possessed her to make her try to drown the boy. She then broke her head on the front door after being stopped.]]

"[[TheStinger Rock and Roll Martian!]]"