[[caption-width-right:200:[[Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000 And if you don't believe in it, Merlin WILL kill you]].]]

->''"It's called Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders - and it's a ''delightful'' Disney/{{Bambi}} romp through a flowery fairyland of happy, harmless, frou-frou family fun for the whole family of all ages. '''OR IS IT!?!''' Taste the rainbow of fruit pain!"'' (EvilLaugh)
-->--'''Pearl Forrester''', from the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' presentation

Born of quite possibly one of the most moronic cases of ExecutiveMeddling ever, ''Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders'' started as a horror anthology directed by Kenneth J. Berton. Unfortunately, the movie studios didn't want any more horror as family films were all the rage then. As a result, a flimsy FramingDevice about a child and his deeply unhinged grandfather (a poorly veiled AuthorAvatar played by a remarkably paunchy Creator/ErnestBorgnine) who tells his grandson stories during a power cut was attached (the program the grandson was watching before the power went out reminded Grandpa Borgnine "of a story [he] once wrote for TV"), a scene involving a séance turned into the ShowWithinAShow ColdOpen, and umm...not a lot else changed.

The first story is about an uptight critic with an infertile wife who won't shut up about it who tries to criticize Merlin (who has apparently downgraded from serving the great King Arthur to running a joke shop in a strip mall in a bland Northern Californian town) for not being magical. So, Merlin gives him a spell book, to teach him a lesson. Naturally, this goes badly, and the man summons a demon, sets fire to the cat, almost impales himself and almost crushes himself. In the end, while trying to [[FountainOfYouth make himself younger]], he conveniently turns into a baby, and his wife (now his mother) enters into possibly the {{Squick}}iest relationship ever to appear in a "family" film.

Then, Merlin's beloved wind-up monkey (AKA "rock and roll Martian") gets stolen (this monkey was seen on TV earlier, and is what inspired Grandpa Borgnine to tell this story), eventually making its way into the hands of a cute family at least a dozen years in the past, and shot on completely different film stock to the rest of the movie (the whole sequence was cut down from the same director's first, and only other feature, ''Film/TheDevilsGift''). Being a smart guy, Merlin of course came up with a "homing spell" that would return the demon-possessed, death-curse-causing toy monkey to his possession on command, and because he's a ''really'' smart guy he then promptly forgot to actually use the homing spell on the monkey before it was stolen.

Best known now as [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S10E03MerlinsShopOfMysticalWonders the last episode (though technically it was episode three of season ten)]] of ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' broadcast during the series original run (it didn't air until after the GrandFinale, ''Film/DangerDiabolik'', due to rights issues).

!!This film provides examples of:

* ActingUnnatural: Dad's attempt to "accidentally" dump the CymbalBangingMonkey in the trash.
* AdaptationInducedPlothole: The character of Susan (whom most viewers assume from this version is the mother, but is in fact David's girlfriend) vanishes halfway through the second part of the film. This is because in ''The Devil's Gift'', [[spoiler:David accidentally killed her when he threw her out of his home after he came home and saw her trying to drown Michael]]. Apparently even '''this''' film had its limits.
* ArtifactOfDeath: The monkey with the cymbals.
* AsYouKnow: The critic's wife/mother is clearly incapable of going five minutes without mentioning her infertility.
* BabiesEverAfter: An odd variation. The wife of the first segment lives happily ever after with the baby she always wanted... which happens to be her age-regressed husband.
-->'''Servo:''' Based on a story by UsefulNotes/SigmundFreud.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: Wanting to become young again might result in you becoming a baby.
* BigDamnHeroes: [[spoiler:Merlin stopping the monkey]] at the very end of the second story.
* BigNo: David when he sees the monkey about to kill his son.
* BodyHorror: Johnathan's PainfulTransformation after taking the youth potion. What little of the actual change we see on camera involves a disturbing ''bulging'' effect under his skin. The ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' crew described it as "a mouse under my bald wig!"
* BreathWeapon: The spell to summon a spirit gives the user "dragon's breath" as a side effect.
* CanonForeigner: Zurella. They could've at least named her Nimue or something...
* CastFromLifespan: Mr. Cooper finds out the hard way that this is what happens when you cast spells willy nilly. Only a rejuvenation spell can make you young again. (Presumably Merlin and Zurella are immortal so they don't have this problem, even if they choose to '''look''' old for some reason. Either that, or Cooper screwed up the potion and they do it correctly.)
* TheCatCameBack: The CymbalBangingMonkey. Seriously, no matter '''what''' David does, that damn thing won't stay gone.
* CatsAreMean: Yeah, but only if you cast spells on them without knowing what you're doing. Otherwise, they're quite pleasant.
* CharacterShilling: All the characters in the ''Devil's Gift'' segment seem to think the ObviouslyEvil toy monkey is the most awesome thing ever. Even after it's been in the trash and/or '''buried in an earthquake'''.
* CymbalBangingMonkey: The villain of the second part of the film is one of these possessed by an evil spirit.
* DemonicDummy: The monkey.
* DisproportionateRetribution: Jonathan threatens to write a bad review about Merlin's store. Merlin retaliates by having him turned into a baby to be raised by his former wife. Well, okay, she's still kind of his wife, but still.
** Actually, Jonathan did that last one himself [[HoistByHisOwnPetard when he disregarded the amount of blood needed in the spell just to use his wife as a blood donor]].
** You almost get the feeling (at least based on this cut) that the monkey tries to kill the kid because David tried to get rid of it by putting it in the trash. And this is '''after''' it has already killed '''two''' family pets. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And the houseplants. And a fly.]]
* FramingDevice: The grandfather telling his kid '''[[NightmareFuel horrifying]]''' stories, thus showing the action of the film. Even sillier when you consider the long scenes of nothing happening in ''The Devil's Gift''.
--->'''Servo:''' Man, Borgnine's grandkid must be really bored right now.
--->'''Mike Nelson''': (As Grandpa Borgnine telling the story) "...And then he puttered around the kitchen for a while, and got himself a cold drink."
* HandWave: On top of '''another''' HandWave. Ernest Borgnine tries to get around the fact that Merlin's book from the first story was still with the family at the end of the story by saying it had a "homing spell" that causes it to return to Merlin. When the monkey gets stolen in the second story, however, Merlin apparently can't just summon it back the same way because Zurella says he "forgot" to put the homing spell on it.
* HappilyEverAfter:
** The last scene was originally a DownerEnding, but was changed so Merlin saved the family. The film even added clumsy sounds of the family getting out of the house (offscreen, of course). The monkey shown in the Merlin footage is clearly '''not''' the same toy. Or the house. Or the lighting.
** In a twisted way, the first story ends on this note. Sure, it's creepy that she's raising her husband, but she finally has the baby she could never give birth to.
* HopeSpot: Despite the very forces of nature fighting him, David buries the monkey, and everyone's happy... but someone digs it up and sells it to his mother, who decides it would make a good present for her grandson. Well, time to die! [[{{Bowdlerization}} Err...]], barely escape with your lives, [[EndingFatigue again]], [[DeusExMachina when Merlin saves you]]!.
* JerkAss: The critic in the first segment.
* KidsShouldntWatchHorrorFilms: The opening of the film, in which the horror movie the kid is watching (actually the full version of the film used for the second half) gets cut off by a lightning storm knocking out the power. Grampa Borgnine remarks that he shouldn't be watching a scary movie anyway...[[CompletelyMissingThePoint ...before telling his grandson scary stories (one of which is ''based'' on said movie to boot!).]]
* LawOfInverseFertility: The critic and his wife in the first segment.
* LegCling: Though why they thought [[FetishRetardant Merlin's wife]] was a good choice for this...
* LysistrataGambit: Inverted in the oddest way imaginable: Merlin's wife actually appears to '''threaten''' to have sex with him! She probably intended to be threatening him with violence, but it's quite poorly written.
-->'''Merlin:''' Don't I get a kiss?\\
'''Zurella:''' You'll get a lot more than that if you don't get out there and find [[CymbalBangingMonkey that thing]]! Now, go!
* MoodWhiplash: Thanks again to that ExecutiveMeddling: the creators' attempt to neuter the more steadily macabre second half was to add intentionally comical scenes of Merlin, in full regalia, wandering around town looking for a cymbal-banging monkey. The effect is something like randomly cutting together ''Franchise/TheTwilightZone'' and ''Series/PeeWeesPlayhouse''.
* NightmareFuelStationAttendant: Grandpa Borgnine and, {{metafiction}}ally, the executives. Seriously, who the HELL thinks KillEmAll horror is an appropriate genre for the bedtime stories of a seven year old!?
* NoAccountingForTaste: One really wonders why the hell the critic's wife stuck with him so long, to the point of wanting to have his child.
* ObviouslyEvil: The movie wants you to think the little monkey looks like a charming children's toy. Just ignore those staring, dead glass eyes, and that [[TheUnsmile rictus non-grin]] and focus on the CharacterShilling.
* OffscreenTeleportation: The monkey falls into an earthquake fault. We're free, right? WRONG!
* PainfulTransformation: Johnathan's transformation after taking the youth potion. There's a lot of screaming and most of it isn't even shown on screen, but what little we do see involves [[BodyHorror a pretty sickening effect]] accurately described by the ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' crew as looking like "a mouse under [Johnathan's] bald wig."
* ParentingTheHusband: The end of the first story. '''[[{{Squick}} Literally]]'''.
-->'''Mike:''' Great! Now she has to raise her horrible husband!\\
'''Crow''': That's what most wives think they do anyway.
* PostersAlwaysLie: The elderly Zurella is now portrayed as a sexy slim faerie. Along with that, there is no castle, the troll and dragon are only seen for a few seconds at the shop (we only see parts of the dragon) and Merlin never does magic nor does the movie take place in a dark fantasy setting. This poster was later used for some of the international DVD covers as well.
* ThePublicDomainChannel:
** "[[WesternAnimation/BalloonLand I'm the ol' PIN-CUSHION MAN! Terror of Balloony-land!]]" David's son watches the old Ub Iwerks cartoon ''WesternAnimation/BalloonLand'' in one scene.
** There's also the show the kid is watching near the beginning, which is less public domain and more footage from ''The Devil's Gift''.
** Averted, the other cartoon shown is ''The Series/{{Ultraman}}'' anime.
* RaiseHimRightThisTime: A somewhat disturbing example.
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: After Johnathan has spent some time playing with Merlin's magic book, murders his cat, and destroys most of his basement in the process, he realizes that [[CastFromLifespan he's become old]] right before {{Satan}} appears in his mirror to mock him for it.
--> '''Satan:''' What's the matter, Mr. Cooper? Did you think your newly discovered "power" came without a price? [[EvilLaugh Hahahaha!]] Do you believe in magic ''now''?!
* ScienceIsBad: Well, Merlin thinks so.
* ShowWithinAShow: Borgnine and son are watching the seance scene of ''The Devil's Gift'', which rather oddly was the film that much of the footage was taken from.
* SmallNameBigEgo: Has anyone ever taken a local store critic as seriously as Mr. Cooper seems to think they do?
-->"My reviews have destroyed whole cities!"
* StrawCritic: "I chew up places like this and spit them into the toilet!"
* TheEighties: All the scenes from ''The Devil's Gift'' were filmed in this era, and the obvious early '80s feel jars with the Borgnine and Merlin bits, which were filmed much later in the mid '90s.
* TomeOfEldritchLore: Merlin's book of spells, most of which summon Beelzebub and/or cause death in imaginative ways.
-->'''Mike:''' (After Cooper has used the book to give himself [[BreathWeapon "dragon's breath"]].) Clearly, Merlin has brought ''good'' into the world!
* VertigoEffect: When David sees the monkey in his house '''one last time'''.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: The girlfriend of the family in the second half disappears about halfway through that story. That's because in ''The Devil's Gift'', [[spoiler:the monkey possessed her to make her try to drown the boy. She then broke her head on the front door after being stopped.]]

"[[TheStinger Rock and Roll Martian!]]"