Film: Married to the Mob

A 1988 comedy film directed by Jonathan Demme.

Angela de Marco (Michelle Pfeiffer) is sick of being a mafia wife; she's sick of everything she owns being "hot," she's sick of having to be friends with the other mobsters' wives, and she's sick of her misogynistic douche-bag of a husband, Frank (Alec Baldwin). Then Frank is bumped off, and suddenly his boss, Tony "The Tiger" Russo (Dean Stockwell) wants to get in her pants. And so, she takes her son and moves to the city, but Tony won't leave her alone, and neither will his psychotic wife. She does meet a nice guy named Mike (Matthew Modine), but he turns out to be working for the FBI, who think she had something to do with her husband's death.

Not to be confused with the clothing line of the same name.

This movie contains the following tropes:

  • Affably Evil: Tony's a pretty likeable and charming guy — if you don't cross him.
  • Authority Equals Ass Kicking: When an attempt is made on his life, Tony shows us why he's the boss.
  • Ax-Crazy: Connie
  • Book Ends: The movie begins and ends with Angela in a beauty salon; in the beginning as a customer, and in the end as an employee.
  • Burger Fool: The fried chicken place where Angela first applies, and the burger joint where a rival mob tries to kill Tony.
  • Bloodless Carnage: Considering how much violence there is in this movie, there's very little blood.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Mike is the most un-hip guy on the planet, but when a fire-fight breaks out...
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: Connie threatens Angela to stay away from Tony by crushing her eggs...
  • Fell Off the Back of a Truck: According to Angela, everything they own.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Connie has a bad case of this. Not entirely without cause, it must be said.
  • Groin Attack: Tony is threatened with this at the end:
    Tony: Connie... honey... I'm gonna change.
    Connie: You certainly will. [Aims the gun at his groin]
  • Handbag of Hurt: At the end, Connie makes her entrance by decking Angela with her handbag.
  • Hyper Awareness: Tony seems to have this through sheer paranoia; his mistress claiming she's going to take a bath before leaving makes him immediately suspect she's double-timing him with someone else, a new clown at a fast-food restaurant makes him instantly suspect a hit, and he works out that Mike's a federal agent because he's noticed him several times before in different outfits.
  • Hypocritical Humor:
    Angela: God, you people work just like the mob! There's no difference!
    Regional Director Franklin: Oh, there's a big difference, Mrs. de Marco. The mob is run by murdering, thieving, lying, cheating psychopaths. We work for the President of the United States of America.
  • Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Sort of, with Tony's one-man stand at Burger World. Arguably enhanced by Tony's Improbable Aiming Skills.
  • Impossibly Tacky Clothes: Connie's outfits. The pinnacle is the coat she's wearing at the end, which has several tails from...some animal hanging off it.
  • Jerkass:
    • In addition to his prolific criminal activities, Tony is also the kind of asshole who murders a man and then tries to hit on the grieving widow at the wake immediately after his funeral. He also eggs on a fight between his own son and Angela's while no one's watching, only to suddenly switch to breaking it up when Angela shows up.
    • Angela's husband Frank is also a huge dick.
  • Let's Get Dangerous: Who puts Connie out of commission when she shows up, brandishing a gun? Angela.
  • The Mafia
  • Meaningful Echo: The movie opens with Angela in an expensive high-class beauty salon getting a makeover — despite the glamourous, expensive surroundings and the company of the other mobster wives, she's clearly unhappy and unfulfilled with her life. It ends with Angela working as a hairdresser in an obvious much cheaper, lower-end salon, but despite the poorer surroundings she's obviously a lot happier.
  • Precision F-Strike: "What a fuckin' dump."
    • Connie doesn't react well to the news that her husband has already booked the honeymoon suite when she aims to surprise him by meeting him in Miami:
    Airport Ticket Desk Clerk: We have a flight leaving in forty-five min—
    Connie: Just give me the fuckin' ticket, dickhead.
  • Pretty Little Headshots: Suffered by Tony's mistress when he catches her playing around with Frank.
  • Properly Paranoid: What tips Tony off a hit's about to be attempted on him? "That's a new clown."
  • Reckless Gun Usage: In the final scene, Connie has an unfortunate habit of waving the gun around unsteadily and firing it at random moments, which certainly doesn't make Tony — who is in the direct line of fire — any more comfortable about things. She's clearly either incredibly hammered or has just completely abandoned reality at that point, which might explain it.
  • Scylla and Charybdis: After her husband's death, poor Angela just wants to cut her ties with the mob life entirely and start again, but is trapped between Tony constantly tracking her down and trying to hit on her, Connie being convinced that Angela is leading her husband on and trying to get her for it, and the FBI being convinced that she's in cahoots with Tony and trying to trap her into turning state's evidence for them.
  • Stalker with a Crush: When it comes to getting into Angela's pants, Tony isn't discouraged by her clear lack of interest in him or her passionate desire to be as far away from him as is possible.
  • Too Dumb to Live: It's mentioned at least once the only person Tony actively fears is his wife. You'd think he'd have enough sense not to screw around on her. In his defence, he'd be far from the only man who let his lower head do the thinking despite the fact that it couldn't possibly cause anything but trouble.
  • Villains Out Shopping: What's Tony doing when the attempt is made on his life? Getting fast food.
  • Villainous Breakdown:
    • Played with; by the end, Tony is reduced to panicked, flustered begging... but not by the reveal that the FBI are trying to trap him, but by his heartbroken wife pointing a gun at a very sensitive place indeed.
    • Connie herself appears to have completely checked out of reality at the end, judging by the blank, glazed expression on her face as she waves said gun at said sensitive place.
  • Your Cheating Heart: Tony can't keep it in his pants.