[[caption-width-right:300:No, that's not a Franchise/{{Batman}} logo.]]

->''"I never drink wine, and I do not smoke shit."''
-->-- '''Count Dracula'''

Decades before anyone even conceived of the first sparkly vampire, we had a {{Disco}} Dracula in this 1979 comedy film directed by Stan Dragoti and starring [[WTHCastingAgency George Hamilton (!?)]] as the tannest Count Dracula ever to appear on film.

The world-weary Count is evicted from his ancestral home by the Communist Romanian government and, along with his bug-eating assistant Renfield (Arte Johnson), travels to modern-day UsefulNotes/NewYorkCity in search of his soulmate, currently reincarnated as flaky fashion model Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James). In winning her heart, he must deal with bumbling assassination attempts from her long-suffering psychiatrist/quasi-boyfriend Jeffery Rosenberg (Richard Benjamin), who is "Fritz" Van Helsing's grandson. Assisting Rosenberg is skeptical NYPD detective Lt. Ferguson (Dick Shawn).

Much, much better than it probably sounds, the film provided the role of a lifetime for Hamilton, and the rest of the cast turns in excellent performances as well.

Hamilton has tried on numerous occasions to get a sequel filmed, but the concept remains mired deep in DevelopmentHell.

!!Provides examples of:

* AnnoyingLaugh: Renfield, copied from Creator/DwightFrye in the 1931 ''Film/{{Dracula|1931}}'' film.
* BadassCape: Lampshaded at the end, when [[spoiler: Rosenberg and the detective agree to take turns wearing it to impress women]].
* BigBlackout: [[spoiler: New York City suffers one of these during the climax.]]
* BillBillJunkBill: "Give me my ''fashion magazine''."
* BlackCloak
* BlackDudeDiesFirst: The only corpse in sight, and he dies before the movie even ''starts''.
** He ''really'' shouldn't have drank the water.
* BunnyEarsLawyer: Rosenberg knows how to pick locks using a credit card.
* TheCameo: Isabel Sanford and Sherman Helmsley (''Series/TheJeffersons'') play a judge and a preacher respectively, albeit in separate scenes.
* CursedWithAwesome
* {{Disco}}: What's the best place for a vampire to explore Manhattan nightlife in TheSeventies? Why, at Studio 54, of course.
* {{Dracula}}
* FakeNationality: An in-universe example: Rosenberg the psychiatrist adapted that name "for professional reasons."
* TheFunInFuneral: Drac's coffin accidentally gets switched with that of a deceased black man. The resulting funeral is memorable.
* HomeVersionSoundtrackReplacement: In the VHS and DVD releases of the film, the disco song perfectly used in a crucial scene ("I Love The Nightlife" by Alicia Bridges) was replaced with some third-rate generic tune.
* HypnoticEyes: In a comedic subversion, Dracula only uses these on men, even when faced with women who are being aggressively unhelpful.
* HypocriticalHumor / MuggingTheMonster: "It's folks like you that give this neighborhood a bad name!"
* IDoNotDrinkWine: "...and I do not smoke shit."
* IntoxicationEnsues: Right after biting a wino.
-->'''Dracula:''' What '''''was''''' that maniac drinking!? Tastes like the Volga river at low tide!
* JiveTurkey: More than one black character.
* KissOfTheVampire: Dracula has to bite Cindy three times to fully turn her into a vampire.
* PocketProtector: How Dracula survived being staked by the original Van Helsing.
* PunBasedTitle
* TheRenfield / SycophanticServant: "Whatever Master wants, Master gets!"
* {{Ruritania}}: 1970s Romania. "I think they're from the government (...) They're wearing shoes."
* RunningGag: Rosenberg can never get his [[FantasticReligiousWeirdness vampire lore]] straight.
* RussianReversal:
--> '''Cindy's Agent''': What are ya gonna do, eat your lunch in my office?
--> '''Renfield''': No, my lunch is going to eat ''you''.
* ShoutOut: Dracula quotes a line from the 1934 film ''Film/DeathTakesAHoliday'':
-->''I am [Dracula] a great power -- but I am humbled before you.'' ''[[note]] Note that Frederick March's Death also spoke in a cheesy eastern European accent. If the line works, it works, right?[[/note]]
** Multiple ''{{Roots}}'' references thoroughly date this piece.
** "Didn't he used to be on ''FantasyIsland''?"
* StockingFiller: Cindy fiddles with her garter while talking with Rosenberg in his office.
* TheTaxi... [[ChaseScene Oh, what a wild ride!]]
* TorchesAndPitchforks: A mob gathers to harass Dracula as he departs his castle, although they don't do anything more than yell at him.
* {{Uberwald}}: ... for about 10 minutes.
* UrineTrouble: Dracula appears at Cindy's photo-shoot, guard stops Dracula at the gate, Dracula changes into doberman [[spoiler:and raises his leg on the guard]]...
* VampireDance: He likes the night life..
* VampireFiction
* WeHaveForgottenThePhlebotinum: Rosenberg tries to confront Dracula by whipping out a cross -- only he accidentally pulls out a Star of David instead.
-->'''Dracula:''' I suggest you find yourself a nice Jewish girl.
* WrongGenreSavvy: Rosenberg tries to shoot Dracula with a silver bullet.
* YouHaveToBelieveMe: Rosenberg's rants about a vampire on the loose get him beaten up in an elevator, tied to an ambulance's gurney and finally locked up in a padded cell in a straight-jacket.