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->''"Somewhere, somewhere in the black night\\
Shining, eyes that follow your stride\\
You can't hide\\
From the monster reptile"''
-->-- "Amsterdamned" by '''Lois Lane''', the end credits theme

''Amsterdamned'' is a Dutch horror thriller movie from 1988 by Dick Maas (''Film/DeLift'', ''Film/{{Flodder}}'').

The film is set in the eponymous (damned!) capital, where a SerialKiller wearing scuba gear is prowling in the city canals and uses them to get to his victims.

!! Amsterdam was damned by:

* EightiesHair: ''Everyone'', except perhaps [[spoiler:the killer]].
* AbsoluteCleavage: Laura's date wear.
* AbsurdlySpaciousSewer: Eric chases the killer into one.
* AloneWithThePsycho: Happens multiple times, such as [[spoiler:John squaring off against him inside the sunken boat and when Eric chasing him into the sewers]]. It usually ends badly for the receiving party.
* AnimalReactionShot: From a cat, during the raft attack.
* AnkleDrag: After his partner's demise, the second environmentalist swims to the shore to call for help. Just after a truck driver notices him and comes in for closer look, he is grabbed by the killer, and is dragged off into the water.
* ArtisticLicenseGunSafety: Eric's daughter Anneke is introduced by trying to scare her father with his gun, which he just left lying around, apparently loaded.
* AteHisGun: [[spoiler:Just before the police reach the killer in the end, he puts his harpoon gun into his mouth and kills himself.]]
* AttemptedRape: A taxi driver tries to force the prostitute he's accompanying to perform oral sex on him. Unfortunately for him, she bites.
* BigDamnHeroes: Just as Laura is about to be dragged under by the killer, Eric and Vermeer arrive and chase him away.
* BloodIsSquickerInWater: Anybody anyone ever dies in this movie, blood ''will'' trickle into water somewhere.
* BloodSplatteredInnocents: The prostitute's body is hung from a bridge, and ends up entering a tour boat filled with (among others) young children and nuns.
* BusFullOfInnocents: Appear throughout the boat chase.
* ButtMonkey: Vermeer, the geeky cop who fails horribly at absolutely everything badass Eric manages with ease.
* CarryABigStick: After bein convinced that [[spoiler:Martin]] is the killer, Laura ambushes him from behind beats him with a boat oar.
* ChaseScene: Two; the first one has the police chasing a suspect on a motorcycle, and the second one has Eric chase the actual killer on boats they commandeer.
* TheCoroner: Sam the morgue director.
* CoversAlwaysLie: One makes it look kind of like an alien invasion film.
* CrazyHomelessPeople: The bag lady. It didn't exactly add any credibility to witness testimony about the "canal monster".
* ADateWithRosiePalms: "He's in the john, I expect that he's masturbating."
* DaylightHorror: The raft victim and John's deaths.
* DisposableSexWorker: The first victim is a prostitute.
* DisturbedDoves: Or ducks, in this case.
* DrivenToSuicide: [[spoiler:The killer, per harpoon gun.]]
* TheDrunkenSailor: One of the victims goes down with his sabotaged boat because he's too sozzled not to.
* EpicFail: The main suspect tries to jump an opening bridge on his motorcycle, and fails rather badly.
* EveryoneIsASuspect: [[spoiler:And the first two of them are a RedHerring]].
%%* EvilOverlooker
* EyeScream: "Her eyes were already fish food." There's also ''something'' wrong with one of the sailor victim's eye.
* FacialHorror: When the killer's face is finally revealed, it's pretty fucked up.
* FanDisservice: The prostitute's naked, mutilated body on the coroner's slab.
%%* FanServiceWithASmile
* FightScene: An underwater one, between John and the killer.
* FriendToPsychos: [[spoiler:Martin]], though rather unknowingly.
* GoodColorsEvilColors: The killer's gear is black, and he steals a black speedboat, while John's gear is yellow, and Eric chases after the killer's boat with a yellow one.
* GoodCopBadCop: Geeky Vermeer and Badass Eric, respectively.
* GoryDiscretionShot: The killer [[spoiler:committing suicide]]. The result is shown later, however.
* GratuitousEnglish: It's the Netherlands, so it's more of a given than normally.
* GrimyWater: 1980s Amsterdam canals were far from the cleanest waterways, which makes hiding in them much easier.
* GrievousBottleyHarm: The main suspect lost his job when he attacked someone with a broken bottle in a drunken rage.
* GroinAttack: The taxi driver gets bit by the prostitute when he tries to force her to perform oral sex on him, and the raft victim gets knifed between her legs.
* HarpoonGun: Vermeer gets shot in the arm with one, while Eric sustains a shot to the shoulder a bit later. [[spoiler:The killer also commits suicide with one]].
* HazardousWater: The killer operates from inside the ''Grachten'' and drags his victims inside before finishing them off.
* HollywoodNerd: Willy. He's even got round glasses and a ''bowtie'', for crying out loud.
* HopeSpot: The second environmentalist swims to shore and flags down a passing truck, but is dragged underwater before help can reach him.
* HostileWeather: It suddenly becomes stormy during the finale.
* IKnowKarate: "No reason to be afraid, I do judo."
* JerkAss: The taxi driver, and the suspect.
* KidDetective: Anneke and Willy try finding the killer on their own. [[spoiler:Thankfully, they fail.]]
* KnifeNut: The killer likes his knifes almost as much as his harpoon. He uses a butcher knife that he stole from a Chinese restaurant on his first victim, and after its tip breaks off, changes to his diving knife.
* LittleMissSnarker: Anneke. Though with a slobby dad like that, it's hardly surprising.
* LocationDoubling: Large parts were filmed in Utrecht.
* LockAndLoadMontage: The killer gets one.
* MalevolentMaskedMen: The killer wears a full-body neoprene suit and goggles.
* ManBitesMan: The first victim deals with the taxi driver trying to force her to perform fellatio on him via biting.
%%* MirrorScare
* MoeGreeneSpecial: Averted. Eric manages to shoot the killer right in the diving goggles, but they stop the bullet from reaching his eye.
* MrExposition: [[spoiler:Martin reveals the identity of the real killer, who turns out to have been a good friend, in the end.]]
* MurdererPOV: The opening shows a long shot of the killer emerging from the canal and spying on the people on the street.
* NerdGlasses: Willy's simply obliged to wear spectacles.
* NoNameGiven: Most of the victims, and the killer.
* ObstructiveBureaucrat: The mayor doesn't want the romantic image of Amsterdam to suffer from the attacks, which is why he wants results asap.
* OffWithHisHead: The first environmentalist is dragged down from the boat, and when his pulls up the anchor, he finds his severed placed on it.
* OnceIsNotEnough: Averted. [[spoiler:Unfortunately, it's the wrong guy she hammers]].
* OneWordTitle
* PeekABooCorpse: After his buddy disappears from their boat, the second environmentalist pulls in the anchor, and discovers his friend's head impaled on it. Later on, John is scared when a dead sailor pops out of a closet while he is exploring a sunken ship.
* PermaStubble: Eric sports a 5 o'clock shadow that practically shouts CowboyCop.
* PerpSweating: The first [[spoiler: RedHerring suspect gets a rather pointless session]].
* PieInTheFace: Eric stops a bakery robbery by handcuffing the robber, and slamming his face into a cake. It is evidently delicious.
* PipePain: While doing her own little investigation with Willy in a possible location of the killer, Anneke grabs a pipe to defend herself with.
* {{Portmantitle}}: Amsterdam + damned.
* RampJump: With boats!
* RedHerring: The most prominent one being [[spoiler:Martin]], who's implied to be the killer when Laura investigates his mansion and finds scuba gear hidden away somewhere. He's not, though, the real killer [[spoiler:was actually one of Martin's patients.]]
* SceneryPorn: Amsterdam (and Utrecht) are very pretty places.
* TheScourgeOfGod: The Salvationist is dragged into a canal after stealing some money.
* ScreamDiscretionShot: Used on the raft victim getting knifed between the legs.
* {{Seers}}: Willy claims to be one, and tries to use his gift to locate the killer. Turns out that he picked the correct spot,
* SerratedBladeOfPain: "He used a similar instrument, but the knife was another type. One important difference is it had a serrated edge."
* SerialKiller: Our killer, naturally.
* ShirtlessScene: Eric gets one during [[spoiler:his hospital recovery after the killer shoots him in the shoulder with a harpoon gun]].
* TheShrink: Martin, [[spoiler:though even he couldn't heal the killer]].
* SilentAntagonist: [[spoiler:The killer]] never says a single word throughout the film.
* SlashedThroat: [[spoiler:The killer ambushes John in a sunken boat, stabs him several times and cuts his throat.]]
* SpitefulSpit: While being interrogated, a suspect spits in Eric's face, and he almost punches the guy in retaliation.
* SpookySeance: Willy tries to hold one with Anneke during his introductory scene, only to be interrupted by Eric arriving home.
* StealingFromTheTill: A Salvationist pockets some of the donations she's collected.
* StrangerBehindTheMask: The killer is [[spoiler:a random ex-diver pissed off at society because he was disfigured in a toxic waste-related incident]].
* StuffBlowingUp: The killer crashes his own boat into another, resulting in a fiery explosion.
* TearsOfBlood: When the sailor's dead body is found, blood appears to be leaking from one of his eyes.
* ToxicWasteCanDoAnything: [[spoiler:The killer was disfigured by contents of a toxic waste barrel underwater, and the radiation from it affected his brain, turning him into a homicidal maniac]].
* UngratefulBastard: After Eric stops a bakery robbery and cuffs the perp, its owner only has complaints to give.
--> "You used excessive force, and you ruined my cake!"
* VaderBreath: A given since the killer is a diver.