Fanon Pokedex: Timburr
Morphs [Oak Catalog #]
- Timburr (#532)
- Gurdurr (#533)
- Conkeldurr (#534)
Notable BiologyTimburr and its morphs have been stigmatized for many years, which has resulted in many negative stereotypes and perceptions about the line entering popular culture. Possibly owing to the bloated, veiny musculature and tendency to wield enormous weapons, these creatures are often depicted as savage, stupid beasts intent on attacking anything nearby. The reality, as any Unovan Pokémon Professor or dedicated Trainer will tell you, is quite different. A Timburr (Megastethus eutherium) is a small but powerfully built biped, with a large sensitive nose and enormous muscles. They are one of the strongest Pokémon in proportion to their size, capable of lifting up to one hundred pounds with little effort. One feature that the line has become famous for is their tendency of finding a weapon, usually a club, to fight with. Commonly, this takes the form of a small tree trunk, log, or large branch. They are remarkably skilled with these, and in the wild often use them to bludgeon enemies into submission. Indeed, possessing a club is crucial to their society, meaning that a Timburr that is old enough to walk is instinctively driven to find a club. A well-trained Timburr can use their club for many purposes; the traditional bludgeon, of course, but also as javelin, lance, or pole-vault to allow for great flexibility in battle. Soon after evolving, a Gurdurr (M. metriotherium) will abandon their wooden club in favour of something far heavier and durable. Usually, this will be an iron beam or steel bar, but less urbanized specimens will sometimes use oblong boulders or other naturally-occurring substitutes. Bolstering this change is a sizeable increase in their already powerful physique. Tests have showed that an average Gurrdurr is capable of lifting almost twelve times their own weight; coupled with the sheer hitting power of their traditional weapon, not much can stand in their way should they so choose. Conkeldurr (M. torotherium) are extraordinarily rare in the wild, and when they do appear, leadership is their destiny. A Conkeldurr is a truly magnificent specimen of musculature and power. As of yet, there seems to be very little upwards limit to their strength; one particularly strong Conkeldurr has been observed bench-pressing a pickup truck. Traditionally, Conkeldurr graduate from a steel beam to a paired set of heavy objects- usually twin discarded concrete pillars, but just as often large boulders or some other large blunt object. Despite their hunched, thuggish appearance, the species are in fact quite intelligent (rivalling humans in terms of IQ) and can be compassionate and gentle; even producing artwork in zoos or research facilities or taking care of dolls or other baby stand-ins. To date, it is unknown exactly how wild Conkeldurr arise, but what is known is that the radiation emitted by conventional trading procedures is usually strong enough to stimulate evolution of Gurrdurr into Conkeldurr. As such, the majority of specimens can be found in captivity. Despite their large size, Conkeldurr have surprisingly easygoing temperaments, possibly due to their high IQ. It has been said that a Conkeldurr taught humans the secret of mixing concrete, although this is most likely a myth inspired by the creature’s propensity for lifting heavy objects.
HabitatTroops of Timburr and Gurdurr can be found across Unova. They are surprisingly adaptable; just as common in the woodlands outside Pinwheel Forest as they are in the mazelike caverns of Mt. Twist. In addition to this, they are frequently domesticated by humans, who find work for them in the construction or building industry, due to their robust strength and size and dextrous fingers. Sadly, construction workers will sometimes bait or taunt these creatures, which leads to attacks; thus cementing the creature’s status in the public eye as violent monsters. Within Kalos, they can be found on Route 18 and within its Victory Road, and following the attempts to awaken the super ancient Pokémon they have been recently sighted within Hoenn's Granite Cave.
DietTo say that these creatures are voracious would be a gross understatement. To fuel their massively powerful bodies, all three members of the line spend most of their idle time either eating or searching for food. Timburr prefer to forage from low-hanging bushes or shrubs, searching for fruits or berries to eat. Quite often, their weapon will be used here as either a pole to dislodge high-hanging fruits, or, more commonly, to beat the tree until the food comes to the ground- a crude but effective foraging strategy. Gurdurr and Conkeldurr, on the other hand, are willing to supplement their diet with fresh meat. They often hunt small game. Usually, this will either be young Purrloin, Lillipup, or Patrat. This involves subduing them, before delivering the final blow with their weapons. In captivity, many Trainers prefer to feed them high-energy protein shakes or other meals high in vitamins and electrolytes to fuel their relentless appetite and make sure they have enough energy for battling.
HazardsDespite their strength and power, Gurdurr and Conkeldurr are also quite intelligent and are quite aware of their own strength. Young Timburr, on the other hand, sometimes do not realize that they are wielding a weapon that is quite capable of shattering a man’s ribcage, and so are only recommended to experienced, patient, or particularly durable Trainers. Like most Fighting-type Pokémon, it is not considered wise to deliberately aggravate them, lest the offending person find himself on the receiving end of a log, beam, or concrete block. A Gurdurr’s blows can easily knock out even tough Pokémon like Herdier; turned against humans, their attacks can easily crush skulls and mutilate flesh beyond recognition. It is considered extraordinarily unwise to aggravate a Conkeldurr, as they can pulp a human’s bones with a single hand.
Courting and ChildrearingTwo Gurdurr that mate will first stage a long and drawn out mock-fight, often involving acts of intimidation, clashing their weapons, and long and protracted mock-sparring matches. The act of coupling itself is short and brief; pregnancies last for about nine months before giving birth.
Social StructureIn the wild, Timburr and Gurdurr live in small, hierarchical social groups (formally known as troops) as that travel over a set territory. These social groups are dominated by the largest and strongest Gurdurr in the troop. Should a usurper attempt to take control, he will challenge the current leader to a ritualized duel, which often involves fighting. These contests are rarely lethal, though, and at worst the loser will wind up with a few bruises and wounded pride. If and when a Conkelldur arises from wild stock, this individual will, through a fashion, attempt to unite the tribes via the standard method- defeating the previous leader in combat. With the superior size, strength, stature, and musculature of a Conkelldurr, this is a relatively easy task. Once several such tribes (often between four and five) have been brought under the command of the Conkelldurr, the new head of the group will proceed to mate with each and every receptive female Gurdurr- a Herculean task, and one that requires great stamina on the part of the Conkelldurr. Pokebiologists believe that this promiscuous behaviour promotes the spread of the advantageous genes that promote secondary evolution in Gurdurr. Soon after the death of the leader, the group will fragment once more and disperse. It should be noted that Conkelldurr are extraordinarily rare in the wild, about one in 500 Gurdurr evolving into one naturally.
Written by Locoman.