is an in-progress Axis Powers Hetalia Fan Fic
. It can be found here
- Abusive Parents: Japan attempts to be a father figure to Korea, and is both bad at it and generally a Jerk Ass.
- Agitated Item Stomping: Japan and China have both hurled their phones at the wall after receiving bad news, and China rips the table to pieces after a particularly trying conversation.
- Attempted Rape: Trying this on North Korea leads to "several ruptured internal organs". Nobody dares try it again.
- Back from the Dead: Fairly normal for nations if their bodies are killed. Less normal but still possible if their countries collapse, though the results are less reliable.
- Berserker Tears: Balhae, while hacking up Japan.
- Bizarre Human Biology: The Koreas' Idiot Hair bleeds when cut off, and they can see out of the little face in it.
- Bloodier and Gorier: Hoo boy.
- Break the Cutie: China and Korea.
- Bring My Brown Pants: Un-funny variation; China makes mention of having been frightened and confused enough when attacked to have lost bladder control, and it's alluded to during his drug withdrawal.
- Came Back Wrong: Possibly Balhae.
- Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: Quoth Russia: "Synchronised panicking only counts as a battle plan if you're French." France and Canada are displeased.
- Cluster F-Bomb: China.
- Corporal Punishment: Japan canes Korea for misbehaviour. Korea doesn't mind that so much as everything else he does.
- Cute But Psycho: Everyone, especially Balhae.
- Death by Origin Story: Korea's mother Silla and sister Balhae (who may have come back). Nations don't usually die permanently, but their countries fell and they were left vulnerable to death.
- The Determinator: It took five men to bring China down, even when he had a gaping heart wound and had been on his feet for a week straight. Even for an immortal, he's pretty tough.
- The Dog Bites Back
- Draco in Leather Pants / Ron the Death Eater: Weird case; the nations were quite happy to watch humans butcher each other and get their own hands bloody because they don't really mind being killed themselves, but once China was attacked, he and Japan realised what they'd been doing, and have to deal with the ruin of their multi-millenium worldviews as well as everything else.
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Poor, poor China.
- Eloquent In My Native Tongue: Korea's Japanese is pretty bad at first. After thirty years he's got better, but he intentionally exaggerates his accent and poor grammar to annoy Japan.
- Enfant Terrible: North Korea used to be South's older sister Balhae, but didn't age over the millenium she spent dead, and is now technically younger than him. She's also a thoroughly horrible child, though she definitely doesn't deserve any of what she gets.
- Even Bad Men Love Their Brothers: Very deep down and none of them know how to show it appropriately, but they do.
- Fingore: Even with super-strength, this is the result of smashing locks out of doors bare-handed.
- From Bad to Worse: The fic starts with the aftermath of the Nanking Massacre and manages to get more horrible from there.
- Girl with Psycho Weapon: North Korea attacks Japan with a meat cleaver.
- Good(?) Thing You Can Heal
- Gory Discretion Shot: In the form of showing the violence second-hand, by verbal anecdote or medical report.
- Grand Theft Me: North Korea usually just lurks around in South's head, but when she decides they need to get out, she takes over. He wakes up to find she's beheaded Japan and broken out of the house.
- Humans Are Bastards: And how!
- I'll Kill You!: China flashbacks and shouts threats in Chinese when attempting to perform Intimate Psychotherapy on himself with France, who understands what he's saying and drops him on the floor.
- I'm a Humanitarian: North was really hungry.
- I Will Tear Your Arms Off: "... and beat you to death with the wet ends", if America doesn't let China talk to Japan alone.
- Implausible Deniability:
"Are those trackmarks?"
- Intimate Psychotherapy: China tries it and succeeds only in freaking out France as well.
- Jackass Genie: Japan to himself.
- Jerk Ass: Japan.
- Kaleidoscope Eyes: South has brown eyes, North has yellow.
- Laser-Guided Amnesia: Japan.
- Life or Limb Decision: North Korea cuts off both their feet to escape their shackles. Of course, she can immediately stick them back on, but still, ow.
- Literal Genie: Nations have to obey orders from their bosses. Under normal circumstances "forget about it" would have been dismissed as a colloquialism, but Japan really wanted to forget his hand in his brothers' pain. So he did. Completely.
- The Loins Sleep Tonight: France notices that the opium left China unable to achieve an erection.
- Mad Doctor: The Koreas end up in the hands of Unit 731, and the doctors are overjoyed to have a reusable test subject.
- Mind Hive: The Koreas.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Japan.
- Obligatory Swearing: China alone uses the word "fuck" ten times in a single 1200-word chapter.
- Pay Evil unto Evil
- Playing with Syringes
- The Pollyanna: Korea, until miscommunication leads him to think Japan raped China and is planning to do the same to him.
- Poor Communication Kills: Japan tells Korea to shut up or he'll "do to you what I did to China", meaning hitting him. Korea is currently under the impression that Japan raped China, and shuts up very quickly.
- Precision F-Strike: Japan.
- Promoted To Parent: Japan thinks of himself as little brother Korea's new father figure, though technically Korea's closer to being his slave.
- Rape and Revenge
- Rape Discretion Shot: China trails off in his recounting when he gets to that part, and one of the [DATA CORRUPTED]s covers up misuse of the Koreas' hair.
- Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: The nations don't particularly mind being killed because it happens a lot, but being raped upsets them as much as it would a human. It's mentioned that Japan's never committed rape himself, but he has watched it happen and found it unremarkable until it happens to his brother.
- Sanity Slippage: Everyone!
- Scars Are Forever: Nations can heal up most damage to their bodies with no marks, but the scars stay if the wounds are analogous to war or political turmoil. China has a hell of a lot of scars by now.
- Shrug of God: On "Balhae"'s actual identity.
- Split Personality: Possibly Balhae.
- Squick: Lots.
- Strapped to an Operating Table: Happens to both China and the Koreas. Leather straps can't hold them, so the Koreas actually end up Chained To An Operating Table.
- Supernatural Gold Eyes: The Koreas' eyes become yellow when North is in control of the body, in keeping with a gumiho theme from another of the author's fics.
- Take Me Instead: China. Naturally it doesn't help.
- Talking to Themself: The Koreas.
- They Would Cut You Up: They do. A lot. Justified in that they can easily put the Koreas back together.
- To the Pain:
"And I want you to know, if I ever find out you were lying to me just now, I will kill you. I won't ask if you understand me, because I know you do. I mean this. I will bring your final death, I will dye the straits between us with your blood, and I will ensure nothing ever grows or breathes upon your land again."
- Traumatic Haircut: Korea has two, once at Japan's hands and once at the Unit. His Idiot Hair is cut off several times until it stops growing back; since his hair represents his Spirit, this is his breaking point.
- Unsettling Gender-Reveal: Least funny variation possible. Sadly it wasn't unsettling enough to make the guys stop.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Japan.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Inverted: What Measure Is A Human To A Non-Human? The nations have no problem with watching the rape, torture, and murder of humans, and quite enjoy battles. Word of God is that if China had escaped unhurt from the massacre, he would have been pissed off at losing and not much else.
- Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Japan to Korea.