Fan Fic: Voldemort Goes Back To School
Voldemort Goes Back To School
is a cracky Slash Fic
and full retelling of The Half-Blood Prince
in which Voldemort disguises himself as a transfer student named "Evan Farley" to gain access to Hogwarts in order to kill Harry Potter personally but things don't go according to plan... Hilarity Ensues
Voldemort Goes Back To School provides examples of:
- Aggressive Submissive: Voldemort
- Alternate Universe Fic
- An Offer You Can't Refuse: When Snape catches "Evan" raiding his potion stores, "Evan" forces him to let him go without punishment or telling anyone else or a flashing neon sign reading 'Dumbledore Took My Virginity And I Liked It!' will appear on the back of Snape's trousers.
- Bad Boss: Voldie crucios Draco when Plan B fails and Voldie is left in emotional turmoil.
- Bad Liar: Both "Evan" and Draco are very bad liars when flustered though most of the time Harry still falls for it.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: after Harry has sex with "Evan," Voldie doesn't want to go through with his plan to kill him.
- Becoming the Mask: Voldemort berates himself because Plan B was supposed to be him seducing Harry, not the other way around.
- Bi the Way: Harry and Draco.
- Brain Bleach: Harry and Draco want some after imagining Harry having sex with Voldemort. "Evan" is surprised to find he's actually hurt by their reaction.
- Broken Ace: Voldie, the poor Sociopathic Evil Overlord seems very uncomfortable with his own emotions and sexuality.
- Butt Monkey: Voldemort, full stop. Harry and Draco get this too to a lesser extent.
- Captain Oblivious: Ron
- Closet Key: "Evan" for Harry and Draco.
- Coitus Uninterruptus: when Draco walks in on Harry and "Evan" and then joins them.
- Crack Fic
- Dating Catwoman: Harry and Evan/Voldemort
- Death Glare: "Evan" keeps glaring at Harry through potions class. This leads Hermione and Harry to conclude that the new kid has a crush.
- Didn't Think This Through: in a state of panic, "Evan"/Voldemort creates massive wards on an abandoned classroom door that only Dumbledore or Grindelwald could hope to break in the hopes of avoiding further interactions with Harry and Draco. He realizes the gaping flaw in his plan when he begins to worry that McGonagall might get around his wards if she were to transfigure the door into something else and as it is Harry circumvents the door and all of his carefully laid warding altogether by dropping in through the window on his broomstick. And because he's so heavily warded the door he's essentially locked himself in.
- Dirty Mind-Reading: Thanks to being a natural leglimens "Evan" is privy to Draco's mental images of "the Dark Lord screwing Harry."
- The Dog Bites Back: after "Evan" steals from Snape's potion stores and humiliates him Snape plans to sabotage him in the near future.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!: "Evan" gets annoyed when everyone is fussing over him in the infirmary.
- Dramatic Irony: when Draco warns "Evan" that the Dark Lord doesn't tolerate failure.
- Even the Guys Want Him: "Evan"
- Evil Duo: "Evan" and Draco.
- Forceful Kiss: Harry in his social awkwardness decides this is the fastest way to prove whether or not Evan has a crush on him.
- Get a Hold of Yourself, Man!: Draco does this to "Evan" when he's freaking out after his first encounter with Potter.
- Go Karting with Bowser: Harry shares the Marauder's Map with Draco when they have the common interest of finding Evan to see if he's alright.
- Good People Have Good Sex: "Evan" has such a good time with Harry that he finds he no longer wants to kill him.
- Grudging Thank You: When Draco keeps calm and comes up with Plan B "Evan" assures Draco that if he keeps up the good work and he may soon replace Lucius as the Dark Lord's right-hand man much to Draco's pride, dread, and confusion (because that would mean offing his father.)
- Handsome Lech: Draco. When Draco sees how uncomfortable "Evan" is with anything sexual Draco comes onto him as well (initially in order to get revenge for his torturing him.)
- The Infiltration: Voldemort at Hogwarts.
- Interplay of Sex and Violence: Voldemort thinks Harry is waiting for him after class so that they can duel to the death and has no idea how his intense staring has been misinterpreted.
was not how wizards dueled!
- King Incognito: "Evan" tells Draco he's on a mission from the Dark Lord but doesn't let him in on his true identity. This leads to several Right in Front of Me moments.
- Laughing Mad: Voldie when he realizes that Potter won this round by snogging him.
- Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: Voldemort wants to beat Harry fair and square so that no one will ever say he was bested by a child again and so waits for Harry to draw his wand so they might duel properly.
- Living with the Villain: "Evan" with everyone at Hogwarts.
- Making Love in All the Wrong Places: after Harry, "Evan", and Draco do it in the library Harry worries that Hermione is going to kill him.
- Mix-and-Match Man: for his plan Voldie developed the "Evan Farley" identity by using a potion similar to polyjuice but instead of just copying the appearance of one person he creates a new identity by using several different donors.
- My Parents Are Dead: awkward...
Harry: Why can't you just directly ask your mother or father? You could Fire-Call them, right?
Harry: Oh, I'm, er, so sorry. I, er, know what it's like to... not have a family.
Draco: Nice one, Potter. I think the prize for the Gryffindor's stupidest House-member just got handed over from the Weasel to you.
- Nice Guy: Harry
- No Escape but Down: "Evan" leaps out a fourth story window to get away from Harry and Draco.
- No Sell: Before his infiltration Voldemort made sure that any detection enchantments (such as the Marauder's Map) would identify him as "Evan Farley" instead of "Tom Riddle."
- Not So Stoic: "Evan" After it hits him that he just willingly submitted to Harry and Draco he flees in terror.
- The Pornomancer: "Evan."
- The Power of Love: How to "vanquish" a Dark Lord...
- Pretty Boy: "Evan."
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Snape... speaks... like this.
- Sorry to Interrupt: Madame Pomfrey returns to find Draco making out with "Evan."
- Sexual Karma: As Draco oh-so-helpfully points out "Evan" is the "girl" of the relationship.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Voldemort wonders how hard is it to kill a teenaged boy? After several failures by his pathetic underlings Voldemort decides that "if you want something done right, do it yourself" and hatches his plan to infiltrate Hogwarts as a student.
- This Is Gonna Suck: This is "Evan's" reaction when he fails to escape on Harry's broom and is about to become acquainted with the ground.
- A Threesome Is Hot: Harry,"Evan," and Draco
- Time for Plan B: After the initial fiasco Draco comes up with Plan B—that Evan should "seduce Harry and kill him while he's distracted." Unfortunately for them they don't work out the details of how Evan is supposed to do that when he himself is distracted.
- Tom the Dark Lord: The Trope Namer who attends Hogwarts under the alias "Evan Farley."
- Too Dumb to Fool: Harry (with help from Hermione and a series of completely innocent coincidences) completely misinterprets "Evan's" intentions and thus completely screws up Voldemort's plans.
- Transparent Closet: When Draco is caught kissing another boy he insists that he was "just saying goodnight."
- Tsundere: Voldie
- The Twink: Voldemort. He attributes this to his new body somehow being defective and doesn't consider any alternative explanations. See You Need to Get Laid below...
- Villain Protagonist: Voldemort
- Villainous BSOD: Voldemort begins having one after Harry kisses him and never really recovers...
- Villainous Breakdown: "Evan"/Voldemort freaks after "the library incident."
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Harry and Draco after bonding over their concern for "Evan."
- You Need to Get Laid: Voldie has spent over a decade as a spirit, didn't get much action in his old body, and didn't take teenage hormones into account when plotting Potter's demise.