The Human Centipede: Love At First Bite
"Then we will begin by the lactation of the phallus! That's sucking my dick, in laymans terms."
is a Human Centipede
fanfiction by author MidnightMoon13
, about a girl named Ruby, who goes to Germany for a holiday, and instead finds true love. With Dr. Josef Heiter. And they have sex. A lot.
When they're not busy having sex, they're either talking about having sex or preparing to have sex.
Notable for being the third Human Centipede fanfiction after The Huemn Ceniped 2 TheHumen Milipede
and Centipede Crufts
by Hans Von Hozel
. It may even possibly be the very first, as the author states that it was up a couple of months ago but it 'god removed'.
- Angst? What Angst?: The members of the titular Centipede seem pretty chill about that whole "I'm eating someone else's poop for the rest of my life" thing. Then again, considering the doctor flavors his own JIZZ, who's to say that their poo doesn't taste like rainbows based on that logic?
- Author Avatar - Ruby
- Black Hole Sue - Dr. Heiter gives up his dream to make the human centipede five seconds after meeting Ruby, and they start having sex shortly after that.
- Double Entendre - Usually in the form of awful sex metaphors, such as 'man missle', 'pogo stick', 'pleasure python' and 'lust-snake'.
'He plundered my village like a true viking.'
- Draco in Leather Pants - The example that no one even thought possible!
- Flat "What." - Dr. Heiter flavoured his SPERM.
- And uses it to flavor Ruby's breakfast.
- Chocolate flavoring, to be exact, and on her bratwurst. Just...why?
- Easily Forgiven - Not only do Lindsay, Jenny, and
Katsuro Katsudo NOT resent Dr. Heiter's actions toward them, they're content to stick around his house after being seperated.
- Gratuitous German - Everything Dr. Heiter says.
Komm zurück! You will be used in mein centipede whether you like it or not!
- Hurricane of Euphemisms - Euphemisms everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
- Last Name Basis - Dr. Heiter is usually referred to as 'Heiter'.
- Mary Sue - Ruby. The author even admits that she imagines that she is Ruby as she writes them.
Also for those who say Ruby is too much like myself, well the joke is on YOU because Ruby is American and I am not- haha!
- Relationship Sue - Ruby
- Sex Face Turn - Looks like all the crazy doctor needed was to get laid. Though if anyone seriously needed to get laid...
- Stealth Parody - Possibly?
I had never seen such a thing up close, as, where I come from, down in California, all talk of sex is banned. We are quite a southern conservative state, you see.
- Troll Fic: Probably, seeing that Heiter owns a bouncy castle.