"It is time to kill Too-Face and let happenus come."
-Brucce Waine
is a self admitted
Batman Troll Fic by Cafe Hoax Zest, (revealed at the end to be an anagram of Zacoftheaxes, his common online username.). It starts out with Batman finding out that he's been accused of murder, and teams up with his
suddenly appearing cousin "
Betty Waine," aka Batcousin, to find the real culprit, Two-Face (or Too-Face, as he's regularly called in the story). From there the plot steadily becomes more and more insane -
and hilarious. Features the appearance of more
random celebrities than you can shake a stick at.
The fic itself can be found
here
, while a dramatic reading can be found
here.
This fic contains examples of:
- Aborted Arc - In the very beginning, Batman was accused of crimes that Two-Face committed. This is quickly forgotten about.
- And That's Terrible - A lot of characters love to talk about how "bad" things are.
Batman: "I am coming Cousin and nowe I shall win because good wins because evill isn't good and you are evil right now being. Prepair to fail."
- Animate Inanimate Object - After a news brief on Batcousin's misandrist rampage, the TV itself suddenly comes to life and joins the good guys.
- Also, a random helicopter can talk.
- Artistic License - Biology - In Chapter 1, Batman uses the Batarang on Two-Face, and it hits only "nonvital organs"...like his intestines and liver.
- Back from the Dead - Villains randomly die and just as randomly come back later.
- Battle Butler - Alfred.
- Bat Deduction - Well, this IS both a Batman fic and a Troll Fic.
Batcousin then grabe gun and enoby blade ans say "Riddler means there has zombies coming and now we must go find them because zombies are bad."
- Beige Prose
- The Cameo - LOTS, most of them As Himself
- Chainmail Bikini - Batcousin's Bat Bikini
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome - After Chapter 6, Tom Anderson goes to the hospital and isn't heard from again after that.
- Cruel and Unusual Death - Batcousin gets rid of Killer Croc by throwing him into a blender.
- Also, Miley Cyrus's death.
- Department of Redundancy Department - Not only do the characters repeat themselves at times, the Freeman brothers have a rather...repetitive conversation with Killer Croc in Chapter 2.
- Does Not Like Guns - Batcousin (she prefers RPGs instead!)
- Dirty Communists - "Commissioner" is spelled "Communist" a few times.
- Everything's Deader with Zombies - The final story arc.
- Gendercide - Batcousin and the female villians (plus Justin Bieber) decide to do this after rescuing Morgan Freeman, Tom Anderson, and various musicians.
- Heel Face Revolving Door - Batcousin turns on everybody after Morgan Freeman is saved, but then becomes good again after being bopped on the head by a brick.
- Heel Face Turn - Bane (after recovering from having his head blown off) decides to help Batman fight against Batcousin's war on men (and guns).
- How Do I Used Tense
- Hypocritical Humor - Batcousin declares war on men and guns because she believes that they are to blame for all of the violence and destruction in the world, but women never kill anybody. Cue women trying to kill people. With guns.
- Insane Troll Logic - The entire fic runs on this, but an in-universe example would be Batcousin's sudden decision to declare war on men.
- Long List - So many people join in the fight against Zombie Joker that the last few chapters are mostly a laundry list of good guys.
- Made of Iron - The good guys.
- More Dakka - EVERYBODY, including the TV!
- Most Common Super Power - Batcousin has breasts "the size of melons that had vitemin d milk."
- My Friends... and Zoidberg - Done literally here, as Zoidberg actually shows up at the final battle (and is always mentioned last)!
- One-Hit Kill - Happens a lot to the bad guys, sometimes multiple times.
- One-Winged Angel - Two-Face becoming Four-Face.
- Also, Zombie Joker absorbing the other zombies and becoming Death Joke.
- Parody Sue - Batcousin
- Random Events Plot
- Redemption Equals Death - The Joker decides to help Batman rescue Morgan Freeman...before he's randomly gunned down by the cops.
- Rouge Angles of Satin - Played for Laughs
- Shout Out - Did we mention the immense amount of cameos, yet?
- Spontaneous Human Combustion - In Chapter 2, the Joker catches fire just by getting kicked.
- Suit Up of Destiny - In Chapter 7. It involves Batman putting on another suit, Bane growing another head, the TV playing Die Hard and Rambo while grabbing a weapon, and Alfred putting a banana on his head
- Take a Third Option - Riddler and Riddlercousin try to trick Batman with one only telling lies and ones only telling the truth. Batman says they're both lying, and they randomly fall over dead.
- Take That - While most of the villians die a random, quick death (and wind up coming right back), Miley Cyrus is brutally killed and stays gone.
- Troll Fic - Admitted at the end.
- What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?
- Zombie Apocalypse - Zombie Joker tries to create one.
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