Fan Fic: Pretty Cure Balls To The Wall
Pretty Cure - Balls to the Wall!
is a fanseries by Snark
. The story follows a Pretty Cure duo with a Sun/Moon theme (and an eventual Sixth Ranger
) in their battle against Hitler and his army of Moon Nazis, the Fourth Reich. It can be found here
On 30 April 1945, Adolf Hitler
, the Lord of Darkness, was found dead, having committed suicide alongside his wife, Eva Braun. Or so the world thought. In fact, it was not the body of Hitler at all that was discovered, but that of a double. The real Hitler had left this Earth long before. In 1943, the Angel of Death, Josef Mengele, and a team of Nazi superscientist had discovered a new powersource, one with infinite potential; the Star Keys
, powerful artifacts that would allow their wielders to harness the limitless power of the stars.
Desiring this power, Hitler set into motion his greatest plan; he would leave Germany in the hands of a trusted body double, and journey alongside a trusted group of followers to the darkness of space to secure the Star Keys. From their base of operations on the Moon, Hitler and his minions learned of the Garden of Stars
, whose inhabitants lived in peace while guarding the Star Keys. Without mercy or remorse, Hitler and his Moon Nazis attacked the Garden of Stars, all but destroying the once idyllic paradise. However, before he could steal all the Star Keys, he was faced with a power the likes of him had never seen; the Legendary Warriors, Pretty Cure. After many great battles, Hitler finally defeated the Legendary Warriors, but by the time he had done so, the surviving residents of the Garden of Stars had escaped, along with several of the Star Keys.
As fate would have it, Fuupy and Buupy
, holders of two of the Star Keys, made their way to Earth, where they encourntered two girls, Hanamura Hayase
and Kaneda Kaede
. With no other alternative available to them, Fuupy and Buupy granted the girls the power of Pretty Cure, giving birth to a new generation of Legendary Warriors. Now, as Cure Luna
and Cure Solar
, Hayase and Kaede defend the world against the dread forces of Hitler and the Fourth Reich!
A character sheet can be found here
This fanfic contains examples of:
- Alliterative Name: Hanamura Hayase, Kaneda Kaede, Dietricha Degenhardt, Asano Akane, Kurihara Kazuhiro, Kurihara Kyosuke...
- Adolf Hitler: The Big Bad of the series.
- Affably Evil: When not conquering worlds for the Fuhrer, Dietricha is probably the nicest and most ethical member of the cast.
- Affectionate Parody.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Amongst Hitler's many crimes are instigating WWII, destroying entire planets and forcing Nazi moon children to learn lucha libre.
- Barrier Warrior: Cure Luna is meant to be this. Hayase didn't get the memo.
- Big Brother Is Watching: The Fourth Reich have a particularly extravagent method of this, by reflecting a giant Swastika off the surface of the moon.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Dietricha, who tragically wiped out her friends and family on the planet Gobotron.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Hayase, who was more concerned over coming up with a "superhero name" for her Pretty Cure alter ego, rather than the fact that Hitler had effectively declared war on Earth.
- Cluster F-Bomb: There's plenty of swearing from several characters, including the Cures and (as seen in episode 2) their teacher.
- Dark Magical Girl: Dietricha, otherwise known as Cure Reich, is a Nazi Pretty Cure.
- Franchise Killer: Invoked. Word of God states in the introductory note of episode 1 that this would have killed the Pretty Cure franchise if it had been an actual series.
- Godwin's Law: Of course this would pop up sooner or later—Nazis are characters, for crying out loud!
- Gotta Catch Them All: The Star Keys.
- In Name Only: The author seems to know full well that Space Nazis ain't Pretty Cure, and staved off potential flames with an introduction that personally acknowledges that this would have been the series that killed the franchise.
- Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk: Kaede. She punches mascots in the face.
- Kick the Dog: Even the good guys do this a lot, with Kaede being the worse dog-kicking machine of the Cures.
- MacGuffin: The Star Keys. Later, the Pretty Cure Matrix of Leadership.
- Manchurian Agent: Dietricha, when she was sent to Gobotron.
- Masked Luchador: Herr Mystico is a rare Nazi variant.
- Series Mascot: Fuupy and Buupy.
- Sixth Ranger: Dietricha/Cure Reich. This really shouldn't surprise you.
- Shout-Out: Practically defines the entire fic. Among them are:
- Stupid Jetpack Hitler: Amongst the Nazi arsenal are a moon castle, spaceships, the ability to turn the face of the moon into a giant Swastika and a wrestling ring.
- Those Wacky Nazis: Pretty much runs on this.
- Villain by Default: They're NAZIS, what did you expect?