So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything again.Oh God Not Again! is a Harry Potter fanfiction by Sarah1281. An adult Harry gets sent back in time and makes it his goal in life to save as many lives from Voldemort as he can. Okay, that's a lie, actually. Not to say he doesn't do that, but he spends most of his time enjoying himself and wreaking as much havoc as possible. Also an Affectionate Parody, so people and events are looked at and discussed from a different perspective when deemed appropriate. Or funny.Well written and hilarious, this story is completed and comes highly recommended.Has a Funny page. This is going to be huge.Has a darker counterpart in Sisyphus. This fic has also been described as the anti-Sisyphus, and nine out of ten tropers recommend reading this to cope with that fic.Not to be confused with the trope Oh, No... Not Again!
This fanfic provides examples of:
- Adults Are Useless: The adults are more useless than usual, but mainly because they don't have knowledge from the future. Harry does sometimes get them involved on purpose when they can help, such as going straight to Dumbledore when Hagrid gets Norbert.
- All Therapists Are Muggles: Harry remembers that this was a problem for Cho Chang in recovering from Cedric's death. She needed therapy, but had to edit her story because there weren't any wizarding therapists.
- Always Second Best: As Harry miserably notes, Gryffindor will never lose the House Cup as long as he is at Hogwarts, because he is Dumbledore's favorite student, making every other house this by default. The only year where this is justified as not due to Dumbledore's favoritism is Third Year, where the fault lies on Sirius for giving fifty points to whoever called Voldemort...well, "Voldemort". Gryffindor, being the House of the Brave and all, was the one who had the biggest advantage — even Ron, one of the few Gryffindors who had issues saying the name, stopped flinching upon hearing it by Christmas. That didn't stop Harry from being stubborn and avoiding saying the name himself (unfortunately for him, he slipped up at the End of the Year Feast and was promptly awarded last minute points).
- Artifact of Attraction: Sirius starts to put on the Slytherin Horcrux ring despite Harry warning him that it would kill him. He manages to stop himself when Harry says, "Sirius, if you put that on then Snape will have to save your life. SNAPE."
- Badass Teacher: Sirius takes over as the History of Magic teacher. The badass part comes with the package.
- Bad Liar: When Ron wonders where Ginny got the extra money she was spending on school supplies (which she got from her cut of a less-than-accurate book by Lockhart), she freaks out and demands to know if he's implying she stole it. Harry thinks to himself that the Weasleys were raised to be honest.
- Beyond the Impossible: Draco notes the ridiculously high point totals during Harry's Third Year, which is promptly blamed on Sirius for giving points out "like candy".
- Big "NO!": Fred and George when they see the quidditch field is now a hedge and Harry at one of the times Hermione wins fifty points after he dedicated himself to losing the House Cup.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Harry is much more of a Cloud Cuckoolander this time round, causing the general population to view him as somewhere between batshit insane and just full of it, but he's — usually — a nice guy, employing Dumbledore's tactics of destroying his foes through politeness and snark. Sometimes, though, he strays right into Magnificent Bitch territory:Pansy: [After Rita Skeeter's Pentawizard Playoffs article] Stunningly pretty? GRANGER? What was she judged against — a chipmunk?
Harry: I wouldn't talk if I were you, Pansy. Seeing as I heard you came in third.
- Blatant Lies: Used by Harry when a Sarcastic Confession just won't cut it, or when he feels like it.
- Invoked in one instance:Molly: This is much better gossip than last year's 'Albus Dumbledore was madly in love with Gellert Grindelwald.' Honestly, you'd think Rita Skeeter would learn to stop making up such sensational stories. Obviously Dumbledore was struck speechless by the blatant lies and thus couldn't be bothered to deny it.
- "How do you know that?" "My psychic scar told me."
- Also, this exchange is Blatant Lies for the Hogwarts personnel present as well as Harry and Sirius:Snape: Is there a reason you felt the need to go running off on a suicidal rescue mission without informing a responsible adult, first?
Harry: I did get a responsible adult. Professor Lockhart is a Hogwarts Professor and surely Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have hired him if he didn't have complete faith in him.
- Invoked in one instance:
- Breather Episode: Nothing important happens in Harry's new third year, but the author didn't want to skip over it entirely. It mostly covers the elective classes.
- Broken Pedestal: Although Harry still obviously respects Dumbledore and tries to maintain something of their old relationship, it's also clear that he's aware of just how fallible Dumbledore is and how many mistakes the old man has made.
- Cannon Fodder: How the Sorting Hat describes the Gryffindors.
- Casual Danger Dialog: Harry uses this (along with a great deal of sarcasm) every time he and Voldemort have a showdown.Voldemort: You have been taught how to duel, Harry Potter?
Harry: I've been taught to drop my wand and summon snakes. Our dueling club was kind of substandard.
- Cassandra Truth: See Blatant Lies. Though, in this case, it's unknown whether Rita mamaged to piece this together through other sources or if she was just making things up after somehow learning about Dumbldore and Grindelwald's friendship and accidentally hit the mark full on.
- Chickification: Inverted, but not to the extent of Xenafication. Fleur does considerably better in the Triwizard Tournament. Word of God (God for this universe, not Rowling) says that this is because the reasons for her lowered points in canon (attacked by Grindylows, the dragon breathing fire on her) were chance events not likely to be repeated.
- Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Ginny was quite put out by the lack of heroics involved in Harry's defeat of the basilisk.
- Consulting Mister Puppet: How people react to Harry talking about his scar. Made more explicit when a frustrated Hermione asks if she should say "sorry" for doubting Harry's scar's "predictions", and Harry inclines his head as though pretending to consult with the scar before answering that the scar says an apology would be nice.
- Continuity Nod: Occasionally, mention will be made of past events.
- Harry gets Hermione a copy of Hogwarts: A History for Christmas in first year. In second year he mentions this when he asks her why she wants to borrow a copy from the library.
- Harry gets Hermione a time-turner for Christmas in second year. He brings it up when the group start discussing what classes they'll be taking at the start of third year.
- In third year Divination class Ron sees in his crystal ball a vision of Harry and Fred competing in the Pentawizard Playoffs the following year (not that he knows what he's seeing). When Harry and Fred get selected, Neville reminds Hermione of this.
- Conveniently Timed Attack from Behind: In the final battle, Sirius hits Voldemort from behind.
- Crazy-Prepared: When Pettigrew is caught, Luna pulls out an animagus-proof jar that her father had her carry around in case she ever ran across an illegal animagus she wanted to capture.
- The Cuckoolander Was Right:
- Luna is the only person to figure out Harry and Sirius had traveled back in time. It seemed obvious to her.
- Harry hires a team of trackers who successfully find a crumple-horned snorcack, proving that Luna was right about them all along.
- Harry comes off like this to others, as most things he says are bat-shit insane, but slowly people realize that the more over-the-top Harry's predictions are, the more accurate he gets.
- Cute Clumsy Girl: Harry gets Tonks an anti-clumsiness ring to help with her Auror training, but figures she'll only wear it for work, suspecting that she likes to be klutzy.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: When Harry and Lockhart reach an agreement of sorts, Harry adds that if Lockhart tries to steal one of his accomplishments, Harry will beat him to death with a paper napkin.Lockhart: CAN you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?
Harry: [shrugs] I'll have fun trying.
- Deathbringer the Adorable: Averted, much to Harry's dislike. In the original timeline, he and Ginny got a rabbit, and she refused to accept his name suggestion of "Mega Ultra Flame Deathsman", instead going with a more standard "Flopsy".
- Death by Adaptation: Mrs. Norris ends up killed by the Basilisk during second year.
- Deconstruction Fic: An affectionate, Deconstructive Parody using the Peggy Sue framework. Lampshades hung, inconsistencies trounced flat, and characters attacked at angles that reveal new aspects. And it has a ball doing it.
- A Dog Ate My Homework: One of the papers Lupin tries to grade was chewed up by the textbook Hagrid assigned.
- Do Not Call Me "Paul": Only three people are allowed to call Tonks by her birth name Nymphadora. Two of them are Charlie and Cedric because she lost a bet to each of them (and doesn't make such bets anymore). Remus can call her that as well, though the significance of it escapes him at first.
- Double Standard: Neville points out to Hermione that attributing their obsession with quidditch to their gender could be considered sexist.
- Dragged into Drag: Sort of. Draco gets a photo of Harry in a dress (technically a Boggart Neville made less frightening) and sells them to students as collectibles. Harry negotiates for a cut of the profits and is okay with signing them.
- Dramatic Reading: The Youtube user Lord Starfish has read this fanfic on his show.
- Emo Teen: Harry accuses Diary!Riddle of being one. So does Sirius for that matter.
- Everybody Knew Already: About dragons being the first task in the Pentawizard Playoffs. Bagman is not pleased that "the champions (and George) all spectacularly failed to react":Bagman [Annoyed]: Oh come on,you could at least pretend to be surprised!
Harry [Obliging]: Gosh, this has got to be the most unexpected event I've ever encountered! Dragons? I don't think I've even seen a dragon!
Cedric: That's a little over-the-top, don't you think?
Harry: I'm reacting for six people here; take it or leave it.
- Everyone Can See It: Ron acts shocked at the idea of asking Hermione to the dance. Harry and Neville point out how obvious his crush on her is.
- Exact Words: Dobby jinxes the bludger to go after Harry in second year despite Harry having gotten Draco to make Dobby promise not to save Harry's life.Harry: Wait... Didn't Draco order you not to try to save my life or to try and drive me from the castle?
Dobby: Dobby wasn't trying to save the Great Harry Potter's life nor was he trying to send him away from Hogwarts. Dobby was trying to break Harry Potter's arm.
- Harry notes that Dobby looks downright mischievous as he says this.
- Family-Unfriendly Aesop: In-universe. Sirius tells his History of Magic class the story of Voldemort's parents and asks them what the moral is; Lavender suggests, "Don't assume the guy you're feeding love potions is in love with you and stop."
- Fantastic Racism:
- At one point, it's shown that even the Weasleys aren't completely immune to the Pureblood mentality when Ron mentions they never talk about their second cousin who's a Squib (and an accountant). Harry notes that it's to Ron's credit that he doesn't grasp why the cousin is an outcast and that he's invoking this trope unintentionally.
- Parodied when Luna asks Snape if he is a Living-ist, someone who prejudges based on whether a person is dead or alive.
- Fun with Acronyms: Hermione's house-elf rights organization becomes SHOE: Stop Hurting Our Elves.
- Genius Ditz: Lockhart is still incompetent as a teacher, but Harry admits he's a genius when it comes to anything dealing with the media.
- Good Thing You Can Heal: Or at least, Good Thing You Can Get Healed.Sphinx: Right. Do not worry, though, as I am not permitted to kill you. That said, healers can work all sorts of miracles these days.
- Grammar Nazi: Harry trademarked SPEW for his Grammar Nazi organization 'Stop People Abusing Words.' He chose to spell 'Abusing' with an E to be ironic (and make it fit the acronym).
- Handwave: How Harry goes back in time is barely explained and goes against canon, but the setup barely matters.
- Hard Work Hardly Works: Draco points out that Hufflepuff never comes out ahead because working hard is such an ingrained, defining trait of theirs. “What are they going to do? Do exactly what they're supposed to do MORE?"
- Harmful to Minors: Neville kills Quirrel in the Chamber of Philosopher's Stone and is understandably shaken by it. Harry and Dumbledore try their best to comfort him.
- Harsher in Hindsight/Hilarious in Hindsight: An in-universe example. Mentally being an adult lends Harry a different perspective on many incidents, such as now being horrified at Neville's Hilariously Abusive Childhood or finally getting that Lockhart was joking when he implied he was more famous than Harry.
- Hypocrite: Harry (affectionately) thinks this when Sirius insists Snape should really let go of his resentment. Because Sirius, himself, is quite mature in that regard.
- If You Die, I Call Your Stuff: Ginny to Harry upon facing the third year Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match:"...[I]f you die, can I have your broom?"
- If You Ever Hurt Her: Averted.Remus [Dazed]: Aren't...you going to warn me about breaking [Tonks'] heart?...
Sirius: Why, are you planning on breaking her heart?
Remus: Well, no, but—
Sirius: Then she can handle herself. She is well on her way to becoming an Auror, after all; and I'm sure she could castrate you far better than I ever could.
- Insane Troll Logic: Harry does this a lot in order to explain how he knows certain facts that he shouldn't know yet or when he's messing with people.
- I Reject Your Reality:
- In a lighthearted version of this, Sirius chooses to pretend he was in Majorca instead of Azkaban for over a decade. Everyone pretty much goes with it.
- Luna provides an equally lighthearted instance:Hermione: It's not our fault we're not insane. No offense, Luna.
Luna: Why would I be offended? I've seen your version of sanity. It bores me.
- It Amused Me: Much of what Harry does is to avoid the crap that's going to happen, but most of it he does for the hell of it. The main reason he doesn't tell everybody his actual age is that everyone would then expect him to act like it.
- Karma Houdini: Lucius Malfoy gets away with everything he does. Again.
- Kill It with Fire: Most of the horcruxes are destroyed using Fiendfyre.
- Lampshade Hanging: The story is practically made of them.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: When presented with a headline reading "Harry Potter and the Pentawizard Playoffs", Harry muses that it sounds like the title of a book...
- Loophole Abuse:
- In Harry's fourth year, he was supposed to work with antidotes and "turned in a bezoar again".Harry: It's kind of expensive, but the look on his face and the fact that he can't technically fail me because the assignment was to find a way to save someone from the various poisons makes it all worth it.
- Fred Weasley gets entered into the Pentawizard Playoffs and George wants to enter as well. Solution: Have him change his name to George "Fred" Weasley and both can participate!
- In Harry's fourth year, he was supposed to work with antidotes and "turned in a bezoar again".
- Love Potion: Discussed. When Sirius explains Voldemort's backstory and asks his class what the moral is, Lavender says, “Don't assume the guy your [sic] feeding love potions is in love with you and stop?" Seamus is disturbed by this.
- The Masquerade: At the Yule Ball, Luna namechecks the wizarding world's policy of hiding from the muggles.
- Mauve Shirt: Some readers thought Cedric Diggory was being set up for this, again. "When I was rereading GoF I noticed how ridiculously likeable [Cedric] was. Seriously, it's like JKR did that just so everyone would be sad when he died…" He's promoted to a supporting character. And doesn't die.
- Mental Time Travel: The way Harry and Sirius end up going back.
- Mentors: Lockhart mentors Harry in dealing with being a celebrity. They later give advice to Krum.
- Muggles Do It Better:
- An example appears to explain why Theodore Nott, a Slytherin, is in Muggle Studies. When asked why he was there, Nott notes that his father learned the hard way that muggles weren't as harmless as he thought after being shot on a trip to Las Vegas, and wants his son to learn as much about muggles as possible.
- There is also why some students begin to use pens and notebook paper instead of quills and parchment.
- Never Live It Down: In-universe. After Harry becomes a participant in the Triwizard Tournament, he complains that the adults are more worried about how he was entered in the tournament and not why:Sirius: If it were any other student potentially in danger, they would probably be highly concerned, but you go after trolls because you're bored.
Harry: That was only the one time!
- Noodle Implements: Narcissa Malfoy doesn't like to be around Sirius after the Marauders pranked her while she was on a date using "a frog, a bottle of pink hair dye, and a trampoline."
- Noodle Incident: Sirius starts telling Harry about a prank the Marauders pulled on Narcissa Malfoy in school, but the scene cuts away.
- No Periods, Period: Averted twice. Moaning Myrtle was killed during her "time of the month", which she offers as an explanation of why she's emotionally volatile all the time. In third year Lavender receives bad news from home that her pet rabbit has died on the date seemingly foretold by Professor Trelawney, and that, worse, her period has also just begun (a revelation which causes the male Gryffindors to make hasty excuses to leave).
- Only in It for the Money: Well, Harry's not only interested in money, but he does deliberately project this persona, to the point where he manages to convince everyone that he's not the Heir of Slytherin because if he were able to petrify people, he would be charging to do it instead of doing it for free.
- Only Sane Man: Neville, who's part of the main group this time along with the trio, is often the voice of sense and reason when Ron and/or Hermione are being unreasonable and/or Harry is being a troll.
- Paranoia Gambit: When Sirius becomes the History of Magic professor at Hogwarts, he decides to play the long game when it comes to tormenting Snape.Sirius: It's going to take every ounce of my considerable self-control, but I want to wait until he's so paranoid he can't sleep before I start in on him.
- Peggy Sue: Harry and Sirius get sent back in time and decide to fix things and goof around in the meantime.
- The Power of Love: Harry tells Sirius how he survived Voldemort's second Killing Curse through the power of love. Sirius responds that Harry should come up with a more badass explanation than that.
- Power Trio: Double Subverted. Though Harry, Ron, and Hermione become friends like before, Neville is added to the ranks right from the get-go, making them a Power Quartet. However, Ron, Hermione, and Neville end up more of a unit without Harry, making them a Power Trio and Harry more of the Draco to their Crabbe and Goyle.
- Precision F-Strike: When Cedric hears the first task of the playoffs will be to steal an egg from a nesting dragon mother, he takes a deep breath and just says, "Shit."
- Psychic Powers: Harry's main excuse for knowing what he does is that his scar is psychic. Note that he is not psychic — just his scar. Professor Trelawney calls him a Seer by proxy.
- Replacement Goldfish: After Mrs. Norris is killed by the basilisk (the only casualty in that incident), Harry has Mrs. Figg send Filch a kitten, to Sirius's horror. The new cat is seen working alongside Filch like Mrs. Norris did and he seems to like her.
- The Rival: Draco for Harry, but in a way that is far more friendly than in canon. Neither likes the other's friends and they sometimes don't speak to each other, but generally they are on rather good terms. It may be best described as a cross between this and Vitriolic Best Buds.
- Rule of Three: In the middle of dinner in the Great Hall, Harry makes a show of inviting Luna to be his date to the Yule Ball. The other students are impressed. Then Neville invites Ginny. Then Ron invites Hermione.The students hesitated for a few moments in case someone ELSE wanted to take that opportunity to ask someone to the Yule Ball. When no one did, the applause became thunderous and girls swarmed in on the only three with dates to press for details.
- Rule 63: Played with: Changing your sex might be one of the consequences of falling asleep during Sirius's classes.
- Running Gag:
- The ever-spreading rumor that Draco Malfoy is secretly the lovechild of Narcissa Malfoy and Severus Snape.
- Harry's psychic scar.
- Harry's "Oh, that reminds me, Cedric? Graveyards." and Cedric reflexively responding "Run Like Hell."
- Sarcastic Confession: Harry occasionally tells the truth about how he knows certain things, stating specifically that no one would believe the truth. Now and then, he just uses Blatant Lies.
- Scaled Up: Harry's animagus form is a snake.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Harry is constantly able to bribe government officials for whatever he wants, including a Time-Turner for Hermione and paperwork for a pardon for Sirius.
- Set Right What Once Was Wrong: Downplayed. Harry spends some time defeating Voldemort earlier with a far lower body count, but admits that the future he came from was already pretty good.
- She Is Not My Girlfriend:Remus: Nymphadora is not my girlfriend!
Harry: She lets you call her Nymphadora.
- Luna has seen The Princess Bride and read The Picture of Dorian Gray.
- Moody mentions The Dark Side, unintentionally referencing Star Wars to Harry's amusement.
- Harry tries to convince Cedric that the Great Pumpkin is real.
- Harry and Sirius quote lines from Pinky and the Brain.
- At one point, Draco smiles, and Harry muses:Draco grinned. Harry was sure that as a result, somewhere a puppy just died.
- At one point, Snape lampshades this trope.Snape: POTTER! Enough about your mythological creatures and your obscure Muggle literature!
- Spared by the Adaptation: Everyone, except Mrs. Norris.
- The Stations of the Canon: Harry occasionally uses these to earn money by betting on highly improbable events. The most obvious of these is during third year quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, when dementors show up out of nowhere to crash the match, despite not being stationed at the school. Cedric catches the snitch, at which point Harry gets a large payout from students that he'd bet (through a proxy, of course) about the outcome of the match with.
- Stunned Silence: The Death Eaters' reaction when Harry throws off Voldemort's Imperius Curse and proceeds to mouth off at him.
- Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard:
- At the beginning of Harry's second year:Harry: [Dobby's] apparently gotten it into his head that Hogwarts is a walking death trap and therefore I'm better off with my Muggle relatives and in particular my Muggle uncle who could snap at any time and try and strangle me. Therefore, he sealed the portal to the platform and Ron and I got bored so we decided not to wait for everyone to fix the mess and just fly here.
Draco: That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
- And later...George: Besides, the Slytherin team apparently couldn't find anybody to spy as they showed up in person. And full Quidditch gear.
Harry: Why in the world are they wearing their Quidditch robes to practice in? That has got to be the stupidest thing I've seen all day.
Fred: All day isn't very long, Harry. It can't be more than ten.
- At the beginning of Harry's second year:
- Sure, Let's Go with That: Played for laughs a couple of times.
Sirius: Top box. It was part of my reparation. Of course, the rest of it went to buying Harry a Firebolt but...
- When Harry's denying having been avoiding Draco:Draco: Are you sure? Because I seem to recall you admitting you were avoiding me sometime in November.
Harry: Really, Draco, you do say the strangest things. Now why would I go and do a silly thing like that?
Draco: Avoid me?
Harry: Well, actually, I meant 'admit to avoiding you', but let's go with that. Why would I avoid you, Draco?
- At the quidditch World Cup:
Harry: You don't mind because I'm your godson and you love me?
Sirius: ...Let's go with that, sure.
- Played straight with Charlie Weasley hinting about the Triwizard Tournament:Charlie: I might be seeing you all sooner than you think.
Harry: Are you going to be in Britain for Christmas?
Charlie: ...Let's go with that.
- When Harry's denying having been avoiding Draco:
- Surrounded by Idiots: Harry simply considers most of the human population to be mindless sheep."Harry, you've got 'I will be besieged by the stupidity of the general population' four times this month," Ron pointed out.
"Really?" Harry said mildly. "Only four times? This must be a good month, then."
- Talking Is a Free Action: After being transported to the graveyard, Cedric, Fred, & Harry discuss what to do (in place of 'run like hell') before Harry stands up to face Voldemort's minion.
- Trickster Archetype: The first thing Harry does when meeting the Weasley twins (again) is trick them into starting a rumor, stunning them and Ron. He later encourages others to try to lose the House Cup, calling it a "Suck-up" Cup. Then there's, well, everything else he does...
- Troperiffic: Tropes are invoked, discussed and parodied all the time. Several tropes are even mentioned by name — Blatant Lies, Cannon Fodder, The Power of Love, Unexplained Recovery (by its old name, "I Got Better"), UST and Unresolved Sexual Tension (spelled both ways, in fact)...
- Uncle Penny Bags: Harry both makes and spends money far more extravagantly this time around.
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: Harry points out that Ron and Draco's rivalry looks suspiciously like "UST" (Hermione finds it hilarious, whereas the acronym goes right over Ron's head). He later thinks Ron and Hermione's relationship clearly falls under this as well.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Harry and Draco. See "The Rival" above.
- A Wizard Did It: A couple times, when someone asks how Harry knows something, he says it's “Magic” and refuses to elaborate.
- World of Snark: Unsurprisingly, given the source material. Harry, of course, gets to do it the most, but most of the characters, even background ones, get a few snarky lines. A special mention should probably go to Neville, given how a few changes in his first scenes make a huge difference between his canon self and what he is like in the fanfic.
- Worst Whatever Ever: Sirius calls himself the worst guardian ever after Harry dies again. Harry assures him he couldn't possibly be worse than the Dursleys were. For some reason, Sirius doesn't find this comforting.
- Worth It:
- Harry decides the look on Snape's face when Harry turns in a bezoar as an antidote is worth the high expense he paid for it.
- In a rare serious example, Harry has to tell himself that it's worth it to be obnoxious to Voldemort even when he's being hit by yet another Cruciatus curse.