"And just to make my point,
here's the most pointed part of my song...
Some of you, I just sent
Hogwarts Houses Divided
somewhere you don't belong."
— The Sorting Hat
is a Fanfic by Inverarity that commences years after the Battle of Hogwarts. First years Teddy Lupin
, Violet Parkinson, Dewey Diggory
and Kai Chang share a carriage on the Hogwarts Express and make a pact to continue to be friends, no matter what Houses they are sorted in.
Naturally, they're all get sorted into different houses and the tension between the houses is worse than it's ever been. The Sorting Hat is fed up of this. After stating that this would be the last sorting ever, the hat also states that it deliberately put students in the wrong house. Chaos Ensues.
It can be found here.
This fanfic provides examples of:
- Adults Are Useless: Averted, even if the kids do save the day.
- Aww, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Draco Malfoy was implied to be a Disappeared Dad but it turns out that he really does care about Violet.
- Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Alduin Dolohov and Moaning Myrtle.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: Kai occasionally goes out of his way to annoy Cho.
- Baleful Polymorph: Teddy's shape-changing abilities (inherited from his mother) tend to go off while he's sleeping, forcing him to be very careful about who he allows around him while in bed.
- Break the Haughty: Chloe. Assuming that you haven't already done so a hundred times, imagine you're a muggleborn who just found out that you're a witch/wizard. Then imagine that you do something despicable and that everyone (including people in your own house) starts hating you. Imagine that you manage to redeem yourself somewhat by apologising. Then imagine getting stabbed and losing your magic. Damn.
- Berserk Button: Don't make werewolf jokes in front of Teddy. And for the love of Merlin, don't insult/harm/humiliate Violet in front of him either. Just leave her be.
- Also, do not insult Cho in front of Kai. It will end badly.
- Brought Down to Normal: Heartbreakingly done with Chloe.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Teddy.
- The house elves. To quote Teddy..."Who knew house-elves had such a mean streak?"
- Be Yourself: What Harry tells Teddy.
- Catch Phrase: Kai, when fascinated by something, says "Ace!".
- Clingy Jealous Girl: How Chloe starts off.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Luna Lovegood cheers Violet up in a way only Luna Lovegood can.
- Chronic Hero Syndrome: Teddy. He takes after Harry in that respect.
- Chick Magnet: Teddy.
Teddy: Girls are following me around. Even older girls!
- Dirty Coward: Chloe. She gets better.
- Violet thinks this of herself after she runs to get help instead of staying to fight the goblin. The others point out that her actions saved their lives.
- Disappeared Dad: Played with by Draco Malfoy. He definitely loves his daughter.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: Violet by the end of the story.
- Deadpan Snarker: Violet.
- Don't Split Us Up: Colleen and Connor Mc Cormack.
- Eloquent In My Native Tongue: Sung-Hee.
- Evil Virtues: Played with. Violet goes on a little quest to discover what the Slytherin Virtues are.
- Funetik Aksent: Hugh, bordering on unintelligible at times.
- Fun with Acronyms: S.C.O.U.R.G.E. Sorcerers Champion Oppression: Unite for the Restoration of Goblin Equality
- First Kiss
- Friend Versus Lover: The main reason Chloe treats Violet the way she does.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Chloe.
- Good Is Not Nice: The Slytherins. Ophelia in particular.
- Hot-Blooded: Teddy.
- I Am Not My Father: Alduin Beauxjour. Actually Alduin Dolohov. He was so terrified of turning out like his parents that he begged the hat to put him in Hufflepuff.
- Insufferable Genius: Kai Chang is, to quote Teddy, "a bit of a snot."
- I Uh You Too: Draco and Violet. It makes sense.
Draco: I would very much like to put my arms around you, unless the embarrassment would kill you.
Violet: I think I'd live.
- Kissing Cousins: Most people seem to think that Teddy is smitten with Violet.
"You know what they say about second cousins."
- Killed Off for Real: Alduin Dolohov.
- Lady Drunk: Pansy.
- My Beloved Smother: Pansy Parkinson. She has her reasons.
- Original Flavour
- Post-Kiss Catatonia: Teddy's reaction to being kissed by Ophelia.
- Redemption Equals Death: Averted by Chloe but at a terrible cost.
- Replacement Sibling: Dewey Diggory is this for Cedric.
- Took a Level in Badass: Most of the first years but the award goes to Chloe, who went from annoying Alpha Bitch to Little Miss Badass.
- Shout Out: To Labyrinth, by calling Slipfang "the Goblin King"
- The Stoic: Violet. She has a few Not So Stoic moments.
- Slap-Slap-Kiss: Kai and Violet.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: Chloe.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Violet starts Hogwarts a year early mainly because her father is Draco Malfoy.
- To the Pain: Violet and the Slytherin girls do this to Chloe.
- Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Averted.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: The wizarding world's treatment of Elves and Goblins comes back to bite them.