Fan Fic: Four Hundred Ninety Six Reasons
Your journey has yet to truly begin, all of you. 496 Reasons Why Multidating is More Complicated than it Seems
You see, the main purpose of Sburb and Sgrub, not within this reality but in a higher plane, is to tell a story. One of aging and growing old, and of overcoming and finding true friendship. In this multiverse, that story in this quartet of sessions specifically is one of love.
-Opening to Cueballsprite's speach towards the end of the prologue.
is a Lighter and Softer
...ish Homestuck Crack Fic
by Great Pikmin Fan
, originally published on Valentines Day of 2013.
The jist is this: A contrived series of events involving a Parody Sue
known as Bororo Sierda
getting upset over not being able to date her crush, Gamzee, has both of the two troll sessions and the two human sessions meeting up on a meteor that's taking nearly six years to fly through the Furthest Ring. Shipping is supposed to ensue, between each possible combination of the thirty-two players, hence the title.
are left absent
, and in fact it's implied that their entire race doesn't exist in the AU.
This fan fic provides examples of:
- Accidental Innuendo: In-universe. Jane and Jake's first on-screen pesterlog involves Jake asking Jane if she wants to put a staircase in the front or the back of her house. Mituna and his dreamselves (who were reading over Jane's shoulder) find this hilarious.
- Angels, Devils and Squid: Implied with the planets. We have Eridan, in Land of Wrath and Angels; Cronus, in Land of Wrath and Demons; and Dirk, with Land of Heat and Liches. The latter in question have only been seen by their cloaks, but the implications is that they are not friendly at the least.
- Angst? What Angst?: Bororo kills all eight of the human players' guardians right in front of them, and there is yet to be any reaction so far. Invoked so that the angst isn't what immediatley takes up the plot, and as a slight nod to Homestuck's use of this.
- Arc Number: 496, for obvious reasons.
- Author Appeal: HANKSPRITE. Jane was supposed to have a human Hanksprite (whereas Meulin had a Troll Hank Hill poster prototyped with a first guardian cow), but then GPF got the idea for the meteor duplication and decided to make the alts into the sprites.
- Body Horror: Damunasprite (Jane's sprite), Hoonahsprite (Jake's sprite), Karrlasprite (Roxy's sprite), and Ruanozsprite (Dirk's sprite). Damunasprite objects the strongest to their form (in spite of only being made of two people, in contrast to the other sprites which are made of three), and Ruanozsprite is... part Kurloz and has some currently unexplained ability to "curse" an entire session, Karrlasprite is harmless and calm, and Hoonahsprite is "horror" for a completely different reason.
- Butt Monkey: Jane has been getting the short end of the stick. Jake turns out to be really bad at being her server player, and shortly after Roxy flirts with her she sees her deliberately kissing Kanaya for shock value.
- Continuity Nod:
- The fact that Feferi's strife with (an entry-item replica of) her ancestor took place on the roof.
- The entry order of the trolls could be based on an error of this page, where Equius and Aradia's orders were swapped. It could be a legitimate mistake by Pikmin Fan, but seeing as the B1 order is completely switched around, it isn't completely certain.
- Word of God says at the end of Jane/Rufioh that the pre-scratch troll's planets (as well as the theming behind the now-non-void post-scratch human session) sharing one theme was a nod to the walkaround's brief glimpses at their presumed lands. Mituna's planet specifically had the "acid" part based on the red-colored "water" seen in the first part of Act 6 Intermission 3, even though he thinks that it could be Sollux's planet instead.
- Crack Fic: Invoked and slightly acknowledged in the AN, with the backstory being out-there. There was at one point a plan where instead of having the players from one game go to another and repeat three times, they all meetup in B2 at once, however the lack of thinking about how to pull this off without God Tiering any of the main characters stopped this.
- Crack Pairing: Invoked.
- Even outside of the premise of the fan fic, there are things like Bro/Dad.
- Averted with the very first pairing as it is relatively popular, which actually surprised the author. The fifth pairing, Karkat/Terezi, is also fairly popular.
- The first and currently only confirmed blackrom relationship (which is set to turn red later on as stated by Word of God; the pairings will all end up flushed) was revealed in a flashback in Jane/Rufioh: Karkat and Damara. Two characters who's only clear interaction was the latter smiling micheviously at the former while he slept, until Terezi basically told her to back off.
- One thing to note is that the popularity of the pairing (or how much Pikmin Fan himself likes it) has almost nothing to do with the chapter's length. Jane/Rufioh is the longest pairing so far and confirmed to be the longest for a while and it is full of more legitimate development than the chapters before it (bar Kankri/Meulin), in spite of making no sense and both Jane/Roxy and Karkat/Terezi preceeding it, the latter couples having decent followings. All chapters with Jake in them have been confirmed to be enlongated by an excerpt of his comic.
- Demoted to Extra: In the prologue, Tavros, Sollux, Terezi, Gamzee, Eridan, and Feferi don't speak or type a word of dialogue. Especially bad since the ending of Prologue Act One practically shoehorns in at least one line from each of the pre-scratch trolls.
- Door Stopper: The prologue is the longest single chapter Great Pikmin Fan has writen so far, and it's supposed to be abridged. If Jane/Roxy is any indication, the couple chapters are really short, but there's going to be almost five hundred of them.
- Driven to Suicide: Ruanozsprite, arguably. They somehow know they have served what they were fated to do, and they explode so that they can live individually in the afterlife.
- Everyone Is Bi: The author actually added a disclaimer to the prologue elaborating that this is not how it works in canon.
- Excuse Plot: The backstory has been more-or-less admitted as this.
- Fix Fic: At times, it contains some shades of this. It's not supposed to be a fix fic, though.
- Follow the Leader: This is a heavily warped, Act 6-newcomer inclusive, single-verse take on the premise of Flushed by Stripe. The author admits so at the beginning.
- Foregone Conclusion: In what is implied to be an attempt to not have anyone stop reading mid-fic, upon Bororo's introduction it is mentioned that she will die before the prologue ends.
- For Want of a Nail: The cheribum session does not exist, altering countless details. Alternia was guarded not by Doc Scratch, but a another first guardian who was still seemingly training the planet for SGRUB, not for Lord English's arrival. Post-scratch Earth is nigh-identical to pre-scratch, aside from Jade/Jake's island. Roxy and Dirk are not sent into the future by the meteors (otherwise they would be obliterated by the spacetime cracks left by Bororo), the Condesce is only in her original universe, and the Alternian Cycle of Revenge doesn't happen due to a different first guardian. But...
- In Spite of a Nail: Pretty much everyone's base personality is eventually left unchanged, otherwise that would defeat the entire purpose of this.
- Fun with Acronyms:
- Latula's new planet, according to chapter 1's closing AN, is Land of Thought and Stairs, or LOTAS. "TAS" also means "Tool Assisted Speedrun."
- Cronus's new planet is Land of Wrath and Demons, or LOWAD. "Wads" are the names of custom-made Doom levels. In this story, Cronus (like most of the A1 trolls at first) fails on his planet. Meaning Cronus sucks at doom, which indicates some ties with him and either Mituna or Sollux.
- Dirk's new planet is Land of Heat and Liches, or LOHAL.
- Incest Is Relative: What do you expect? Inevidable by the fan fic's premise. Word of God says that the first incesteous pairing is number eleven.
- Interspecies Romance: Again, what do you expect?
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Bororo advertizes herself as this, but not in those words. It's pretty far from the truth, parodying fan fiction that averts Show, Don't Tell.
- Karmic Death: Bororo's death. She gets killed by the tumor blowing up, and just as in canon it uses the masses of the human and troll universes to make the Green Sun. Bororo destroyed but the human and troll universes with the same attack Lord English uses to destroy dreambubbles. Basically, Bororo got killed by the same things she destroyed.
- The Lancer: Nepeta to Duplicate Meulin. Nepeta in turn also has Roxy and Meulin apparantly acting under her.
- Meaningful Name: Bororo Sierda is a corruption of the Spanish words for "bull" and "shit," with the first letters changed to match the initials for such.
- Mood Whiplash: All over the place.
- Regarding the prologue: You wouldn't think a series supposed to be of mostly fluff ficlets would begin with Meenah finding the dead bodies of almost every A1 session player and that same beginning act would end revealing that those were... "duplicates," not "offshoots," that were trapped in the Frog Temple and were then blown up by Meenah prototyping the tumor into Bororo's kernelsprite in fear of having to starve to death in the temple. Then there's Bororo pretty much showing the post-scratch human player's dead guardian's bodies to them, and killing the guardians of the pre-sctatch human players right in front of them. And then there's the Prospit dreaming B2 kids' sprites (Roxy and Dirk's sprites are less unnerving, the former specifically less than the latter).
- Jane/Rufioh takes a grimmer turn after Jane figures out Rufioh was cheating on Damara, and then the subject of the pairing itself is briefly skipped when it's implied that something's happening with Jane's dreamself.
- Mythology Gag:
- Towards the end of Prologue Act Three, Karkat calls Dave Reddy McCoolshades.
- Near the end, when Cueballsprite says that the trip from the B2 session to the B1 session will take three hours, Karkat asks if that's even possible, another nod to SJAHJ.
- Jade's save of John (and by extension, Rose) at the beginning of Prologue Act Three contains references to Total Drama World Tour (landing in Tijuana and using fireworks)note , and by extent Kids Fit the Trolls (Jade throwing something and using it as a boomerang, when that something would otherwise be improbable to be used as such).
- In another reference to SJAHJ, there's the Maryam's association with cows. (Not Jade's, though. Yet.) Porrim's planet is even called the Land of Milk and Frogs.
- Yet another SJAHJ nod, this isn't the first time Hank Hill has influenced a tyiran-texted character.
- Jane/Rufioh contains a number of references to Housestuck Hurrcain Crconikals. Designated door-knocker Nepeta, Karkat being the "only one who isn't a geek," and the use of "alliance." Rufioh's land (which was revealed earlier in the prologue) is even called the "Land of Sand and Hurricanes."
- No Antagonist: At least, this is what it appears to be. The closest thing the story has to an antagonist is killed in the prologue.
- Nobody Can Die: Out of the game players, even the dreamselves stay alive in this. This is to limit (yet not completely remove) dream bubble exploration, and give a slightly more isolated feel. And because it's been hinted that they will be pivotal to the plot later on.
- Nosebleed: This was Roxy's reaction to accidentally finding Dave's Bro and John' Dad post-sex in a Battlefield bed through the trollian viewports. Believe it or not, this partially kickstarts the romance plot.
- Not Using the Z Word: The state of the sessions is never described as "glitched," even though it's clear that Bororo not supposed to be in existance would logically mean she is either a glitch in a way or an Eldritch Abomination.
- Off the Rails: Somehow, Bororo's existance makes three, possibly four, sessions this.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Rose killing her denizen, and being implied (based on Jade's reaction) to be the first and only B1 kid to successfully do this before their planets get wiped out in the scratch.
TT: The following is to the concern of everyone.
TT: I have achieved a mass ascendancy to our overarching task to win this game.
TT: Meet me at my house.
TT: I will be serving fish.
TT: And lots of it.
- Parody Sue: Bororo... rather blatantly, too. Although rather than the stereotypical "perfect sparkly" character that usually fits the trope, her design is implicitley a parody of Original Character types commonly seen in the Homestuck and Total Drama fandoms: Her appearance is flat-out stated to be a copy of Jade and Karkat's, she is something of a self-insert parody (having intrests supposedly nearly identical to the author's), she has a psychopathic crush on Gamzee, her "quirk" is typing in a completely normal style, she is stated (by herself) as the "nice but can be really mean if you make her angry" type but really comes off as a jerk throughout, frequently antagonizes all the "bad" characters such as Meenah, and can't feel and doesn't know well about (a jab at the fandom misconceptions of such) any quadrant except flushed. Her trolltag is even "plotDevice."
Your name is BORORO SIERDA, and EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS AWFUL.
- Plot Armor: Given to the 32 game players and their dreamselves. One of the more glaring examples is how Skaia copied the Frog Temple meteor that housed the pre-scratch trolls, because as revealed by a doomed Rose, Bororo apparantly screws up the game that much.
- Polyamory: See the title. Interestingly, the polygamy is implied to kick in on the very second pairing. (The first two both involve Roxy.)
- Rotating Protagonist: The pairings are implied to work by flip-flopping between whoever's centered around at the time, and due to the randomized order of the pairing list this could happen frequently. The prologue itself does this: Acts 1 and 2 follow the trolls in the order of their session, yet at the end they go to post-scratch Earth and so when Act 3 comes along it's focused completely on the B1 kids, briefly skipping over the troll's storyline for that segment.
- Set Right What Once Went Wrong: This is revealed to be Kankri's motivation, after experiencing nightmares about his life on Alternia.
- Shower of Awkward: In Prologue Act Four, Karkat accidentally sees Jake's grandmother in the shower. His resulting scream apparantly sounds like Hank Hill's.
- Spiritual Successor: To Total Drama World Tour Rewrite, as both stories involve teens stuck on a lenthy trip and polygamy plays a role in both storylines.
- Something Completely Different: The prologue and planned epilogue are written in the Homestuck style of second person, has special requirements for visible dialogue, and dialogue in question is written in script format. The pairing chapters read like a typical third-person fan fic. The beginning AN even mentions this, and to not report the fan fic for being a second-person fan fic.
- Stable Time Loop: Mostly averted, with one notable exception; the creation of Beforus's first guardian. It was created in a lab in the Moon Frog Temple, eventually prototyped itself in Meulin's kernelsprite after her lusis failed to show up, was prototyped again with a Hank Hill poster by Meenah in order to make it comprehensible, and as Hanksprite it set up the trolls' place on the Frog Temple meteor and on the ride into the A2 session, which also leads to its own creation shortly after from the perspective of the parties on that meteor.
- Stealth Pun: The meteor trip will last 2,145 days. Seems like an arbitrary number, doesn't it? It's a little under six years, so why not just have the trip last six years instead? While 496 is the total number of possible flushed combinations between the 32 players in general, 2,145 is the number of combinations factoring the dreamselves, including Sollux and Mituna's extra one.
- Stylistic Suck: Jake's comic.
- Surprise Incest: Hasn't happened yet, but this line implies it:
Even though sprites cannot enter gates, KARRLASPRITE still managed to locate you [Roxy] by flying around and finding you eventually. Kinda like Smuppetsprite does with your ectoson. But you don't know that. You also won't know that he's your ectoson until long after you've swapped spit.
- A subversion has been set with the post-scratch kids; thanks to Karkat's (or the troll's in general's) incorrect theory, everyone thinks the post-scratch kids is the group with two sibling pairs. Pikmin Fan clairifies in one of the ANs (when the subject comes up again in Jane/Rufioh) that this was intended in-story (and added a quick conversation between John and Karkat in the prologue to hint at how fallacious it was) and not a genuine misunderstanding.
- Up to Eleven: Dirk's planet is implied to be even more hellish than his void-session planet in canon.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Everyone who isn't on the meteor trip. Including Bororo, thankfully.
- Though in the closing notes to Jane/Rufioh, it's been said that there will be more occasional flashbacks to the sessions later on, especially the one in B2. Thus meaning that the new sprites and possibly even Bororo will get more screen time.
- Wham Line:
- Though the description at the top of this very page gives it away, the beginning of Prologue Act Four has a line (and a brief explanation) that actually raises a few more questions than it answers:
Your name is JANE EGBERT, and you are the heiress to NOTHING.
What do you expect in a multiverse where LORD ENGLISH DOES NOT EXIST?
- Near the end of pairing six:
Nepeta: Guys. Meulin trolled me. She said that a girl that looks like Jane started running around in a fury.
- Keep in mind that Jane was with Nepeta at the time, and her reaction was an Oh Crap that closed off the chapter.