Aborted Arc: Considering he never gets a Heel Face Turn moment and is inexplicably good again after the Time Skip, Edward's time working with Mystique and Dumbledore could qualify as this.
“What do you think u punishment should be?” Dubledore asked paseing around he was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped Hollister jeans that showed off his mussles.
Adaptation Dye Job/Self Fanservice: Edward no longer has messy auburn hair and an expression filled with chagrin, but is now an Animesque pretty boy with bright orange hair and eyes who looks almost nothing like the original character.
Anachronism Stew: In Harry Potter, the wizarding world was shown to be pretty old fashioned. Here, there are chain clothing outlets like American Eagle, cars, and cell phones, among other things.
The pregnancy in general. Dally shows signs of it within a couple of days, and has the actual demonspawn not too long after that. Might be justified if you consider it's the baby of a vampire and a demon, so it might mature differently, but that might be giving the author too much credit.
Apparently gays are built differently than straight folk according to Dally:
They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white bear and a pointy hat and he said, “Come students, follow me to the great hall and we will eat and get you sorted!”
Whenever someone's "face falls", or "jaw drops", their face or jaw is described as falling off. In one chapter, Dally's stomach is described as falling off (and she's pregnant at the time, to boot).
Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Chapter 15 - Harry and baby Shadow ride on horses, order McDonald's, go to see Wicked in Chicago and murder a random innocent Hufflepuff for no good reason.
Breaking The"3rd"Wall: At one point, Dally literally looks up the story to reread a ripped up note. Clumsily Lampshaded by the narration.
Broken Aesop: The story tries to push that there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, but aside from Jack Skellington, all of the characters who aren't straight are portrayed as villains, including the only actually canonically gay character in the fic- Dumbledore.
Right after Professor Skellington tells the group it's okay to be gay, we get this bit:
Draco is straight and it’s Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve.
When Hiei screws Sasuke, Dally is more ticked about Hiei banging a man then she is that he slept with someone else in the first place.
Another supposed Aesop is that screwing multiple guys, especially one that isn't your true love that you're married to, is wrong, as demonstrated with Bella. However, Dally has no problem doing it with Hiei the first day she meets him and is constantly going back and forth between various men.
Distressed Dude: Dally's entire harem in Chapter 9 are kindapped and taken to Azkaban.
Dude, Not Funny!: The author goes out of the way to be offensive. The groups of people she's offended include but are probably not limited to: homosexuals, Jews, black people, the mentally and physically disabled, women, men, all humans ever, etc. The remarks she makes in being offensive are often attempts at humour, which makes it worse.
Dying To Be Replaced: Shadow, for Dally's child. He's even born the same chapter as Shadow's funeral.
Enemy Mine: Edward and Hiei must put aside their differences and fuse to become "Platinum Billy" to save Hogwarts.
Express Delivery: Dally gives birth not too long after she discovers her pregnancy, which is not too long after she initially conceived. Might be justified by the fact that it's the son of a demon and a mutant vampire witch.
Face Heel Turn: Mystique decides to work with Dumbledore for some reason in Chapter 7.
Edward does as well in Chapter 11 due to being sick of Dally's cockblocking, but then switches back later without any explanation.
Girl Posse: Charla, Annie, and Meagan for Dally. They're all pretty much interchangeable.
Goo Goo Godlike: Baby Shadow is The Chosen One, can talk and move almost immediately, has vampire powers, can read minds and communicate telepatically, creates portkeys out of midair...
Hate Fic: Possibly for Harry Potter, or at least the main Canon. Snape is a lustful rapist, Dumbledore is a rapist and pedophile, Lupin and Tonks have no personality beyond having sex, Harry is a prejudicial druggie... The list goes on and on.
Hypocrite: Dally calls Bella easy, but Bella has never been shown to screw a man other than Edward willingly (she had no clue that Snape wasn't Edward as she was blinded by a bag) both in Twilight and this fic. Dally, however, had no problem having sex with Hiei thousands of times and still considers Edward her property.
Further driven into the ground when Edward reveals he had sex with Bella before. Dally is ticked because she wanted to be Edward's first partner... After she cheated on him for Hiei.
The main gang sans Dally discovers Hagrid dead with "wands coming out of all the sausages of his body" and are absolutely disturbed that someone would do such a thing to Hagrid. Moments before, they were plotting to give him the slowest and most painful death possible.
"Slow and painful death" could have referred to starvation, suffocation, some form of poisoning... which, though pretty revolting, would look physically much neater than dying with your entire body covered in penises. They might have just been disgusted by the appearance of his death, which is in itself hypocrisy given that they're disturbed more by Body Horror than by their own intent to murder a man in the most agonizing way possible.
If I Can't Have You: Edward did NOT take Dally choosing Hiei well. Though, in her defense, he murdered his last girlfriend.
It's All About Me: The entire world must revolve around Dally. She can have sex with whoever she pleases, but if one of "her men" does it with another woman before they do it with her (even if they've been dating said woman for a long time), that's just sick, those jerks.
Jerk Ass: Edward in this fic makes the original Edward look exactly like the gentleman Meyer intended him to be.
Large Ham: Everyone, but Mystique whenever she talks to Hiei deserves a special mention.
“Yes it is I,” she smocked, “You really think you would get aware that easy?? DYMBLEDORE AND I ARE WOKING TOGETHER NOW!! HAHAHAHA!”
Life Embellished: Dally is a self-insert, and the author uses her to represent herself.
Loads and Loads of Characters: A new one is introduced practically each chapter, and the author can't even seem to keep them straight.
Love Dodecahedron: Edward loves Bella, but he also wants Dally. Hiei wants Dally, but he also shows interest in Sasuke. Dally wants Hiei, but also wants Edward and Bill, who wants her as well. Shadow wants Dally as well. The rest can be pretty much summed up as, "every male wants Dally."
Master of the Mixed Message: Dally wants Hiei, and Edward has Bella! No, Dally deserves Edward, and Bella needs to die! Wait, no- Edward is clingy, Hiei should be for Dally! Hold it- Hiei impregnated Dally, so he's a jerk and she should be Edward's. But wait- Edward did it with Bella before Dally, so he's a horrible person and Hiei is Dally's one and only! But no- Edward didn't have sex with Bella after all, so he and Dally are together. Nope- Dally is with Hiei since she is having his baby, so Edward shouldn't do it with her!
Meet Cute: Attempted and pulled off clumsily. Dally first spots Hiei selling candy on the Hogwarts Express. He goes to sell some for her, but is instantly infatuated and gives the candy to her for free.
Moment Killer: In Chapter 2, Mystique offers Hiei mutant powers if he marries Dally. Dally, who was so certain that Hiei was hers before, now thinks that she might want Edward instead despite the fact that she had never shown interest beyond friendship in him before and that he's already dating Bella.
“you must think long and hard… like my dick” said Edward then laughed then stopped cause it wasn’t funny because actually dally probably effed everyone and was loose as a bag.
Never My Fault: Dally. Edward thinks she's cheating on him for Hiei? Hiei is a jerk! Dally encourages Edward to murder Bella? She deserved it! Dally gets pregnant? It's all Hiei's fault!
Off Model: Each page has an illustration or two to go with it. Most of these pictures are either screenshots from an actual show or movie, stock art (such as a bizarre one of a random guy in a body bag in one of the last chapters), or blatantly traced art of Dally and her crew or her baby. Much of this art varies wildly in style, but most notable is Edward, who has both an orange-haired Animesque traced illustration and images from the actual LIVE ACTION Twilight movies.
It doesn't help that the character biographies have both official art or photographs of the characters and the traced art, further highlighting the tackiness.
One Shadow Limit: Averted, which makes it confusing when reading about this trainwreck of a story, especially since the author mixes up names all the time.
Parental Neglect: Dally has no problem letting her baby gnaw on rattlesnakes and leaving him home alone for long periods of time. She acts shocked when she comes how to find him gone. Lampshaded in this line:
“I think we should go home and check on my baby now. I know he can take care of himself but I think Prof Maconagle will call Child Protection Servises on my asshole.”
Power Perversion Potential: Using magic to turn semen into water counts. As does Dally's brilliant idea to use her powers to turn things into "kinky sexy toys".
“HAHAHA” laughed mystique “YOU WILL NEVER FUCKIN GET TE POWEERS”
Pregnant Badass: Attempted and failed with Dally. She's portrayed as selfless for staying behind to give birth all by herself while the men she loves so much march into battle, but really she just comes off as selfish and whiny as usual, especially since this is right after she snaps at Edward for trying to bang her despite her saying he needed to and Hiei for sleeping with Sasuke.
First they checked American Engle, then they checked Wet Seal, then they checked Tifanny and Co-op, but they finally found him in the queerest of all stores… Holster.
In Chapter 14, there is a completely random Dude, Not Funny! bit where Dallas insults a deviantART user by having her on television competing in the Special Olympics and describing her as ugly and "retarded."
Another deviantART user is insulted at the end of the Maury subplot, where said user appears in the crowd of people wanting to "bang" Dally.
He does mention that the rapist was a male... So Umbridge ends up fired. What.
At one point, Dally sees her baby chewing on rattlesnakes. Granted, he's a Goo Goo GodlikeGod Mode Sue, but what sane mother would let their child do that?
Took a Level in Jerkass: Dally in Chapter 7. Up until then, she was a Purity Sue who could do no wrong, but at least lived up to that title. At that point, she began to get protective of all her potential men, which ends up costing innocent Bella her life.
Troll Fic: Considering how it quickly devolves into strangeness (most notably the Hiei and Edward Fusion Dance) and the Rouge Angles of Satin count grows each chapter, it is very possible that it is indeed a troll. However, there are pictures on the site of the author, so it's up in the air and will likely never be resolved unless Dallas comes out and admits it either way.
Even if it is a Troll Fic, it's literally painful to read.
, but be warned that it quickly becomes NSFW.And now there is a sporking of it here
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