Fan Fic: Eiga Sentai Scanranger
The Holy Warriors of Hollywood. Then...
Movie geeks will save us all!
In this stunning homage to Super Sentai
(and fully-extended middle finger
to Power Rangers
), Professor Daphne Alexandria is more than just a mild-mannered film professor, she’s the head of a secret organization that protects Earth from hostile aliens, and her prize students are being drafted. Why? Because the power she has to bestow can only be used by those with a passionate love of movies. And why does Alex feel the need to trust the fate of the world to five crazy kids? Because of the imminent invasion of the not terribly effective MAYHEM Corps, hell-bent on conquering New Jersey! If the rangers can stop harping on their hatred of Haim Saban and all things Power Rangers long enough, they might just pull this off. And despite how everything sounds, it takes itself too seriously too often to be a parody.
Written by Vince Jones, who was outraged at how Tokusatsu
programming was watered down into the Power Rangers
before making it to American airwaves. Ran from 1997-2006, releasing 39 “episodes,” a Christmas special and a crossover “movie” with Choujin Sentai Jetman
. The last two episodes finished were basically revisiting the crossover movie.
Poorly written, ill-conceived and all with only the occasional shred of irony, Scanranger
was a shining example of So Bad, It's Good
The story is archived here
, with the writer also posting it on FF.net
after Geocities went down.
It should be noted that while he continues to try to share his story with the internet, the author's hatred of Power Rangers
has petered off a lot in the intervening years
Our heroes, such as they are, are:
- Vin Furamatsu Henderson a.k.a. Vin Harlock/Redscanner: Athlete of Action. The Hero. Village People fan. Empowered by action movies, though in practice it’s more like movies with sword fighting. Changed his last name because of his admiration of anime hero Captain Harlock.
- B.C. Shimamura/Bluescanner: King of Comedy. Meant to be the Plucky Comic Relief and The Heart, but often ends up being The Load and The Scrappy. Empowered by clean comedy. Only clean comedy.
- Nick Simonds/Greenscanner: SPFX Soldier. The Smart Guy (relatively speaking) and a Casanova Wannabe. Empowered by special effects. No, that isn’t a movie genre.
- Kunio “Mikey” Mikimoto/Yellowscanner: Animemaniac. Kind of a Butt Monkey. Empowered by Anime. Not just any animation, anime. The writer goes to pains to explain how one of the Rudolph movies counts in the Christmas Episode.
- Carmen Diaz/Yellowscanner II: Affirmative Action Girl. Kunio’s crush who goes from a stuck-up bitch to a born-again superhero after he’s crippled in battle and her own anime powers surface.
- Toni Montanez/Pinkscanner: Musical Mistress. The Chick. Empowered by musicals.
- Takeshi Hayata/Silverscanner: Gin Hikari no Senshi. The Sixth Ranger. Cool Old Guy. Adjunct professor of Asian Studies. Empowered by Tokusatsu.
- Lieutenant Commander Professor Daphne Alexandria: “Professor Alex” for short. The Big Good. Team Mom, to the extent that the rangers really do sometimes seem to look on her as a surrogate mother. Widow of Roger.
- All Your Powers Combined: When they put their weapons together to make the Cinemasher weapon.
- Animal Mecha: The Hollywood Vehicles, which are based on movie studio mascots (specifically the Tristar Pegasus, MGM Lion, Hollywood Pictures Sphinx, Tatsunoko Seahorse, and NBC Peacock).
- Applied Phlebotinum: Film Energy, a cosmic power that only takes shape through a passionate love of movies (they channel movie scenes, imagining, say, Zorro slashing his sword or Moe poking Curly in the eyes, then perform the action themselevs in a powered-up fashion). Not only does it empower the Scanrangers, their mecha runs on it too. It’s so great the villains eventually steal some for themselves.
- BFG: The Camzooka.
- By The Power Of Gray Skull: “Lights! Camera! Action! Scanranger!” or individual name in place of Scanranger.
- Deus Exit Machina: Takeshi tends to show up to perform last minute saves for the rest of the team, although the story's not in the habit of explaining where he's been.
- Humongous Mecha: Named after a theater sound system (Thunder Dolby THX), a projection technique (Widescreener), and a video store (Blockbuster).
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: A lot were perversions of movie titles or Hollywood-related sayings (e.g. “Hooray For Hollywood Vehicles”, “Kunio's Excellent Adventure In Babysitting”, “The Good, The Bad and General Ug”).
- In the Name of the Moon: “Soldiers of the Silver Screen!”
- Make My Monster Grow: Byte's reason for living.
- Mecha Expansion Pack: Silverscanner (who can enlarge himself to giant size) gets a spaceship that turns into a robot, then his robot gets an upgrade so it can attach to his giant form, then his robot gets another upgrade so it can attach to the team's robot.
- Mecha-Mooks: Kinks, to be exact. No, not that kind.
- A Mech By Any Other Name: Hollywood Vehicles (based on studio mascots), Box Office Smashers (based on the rangers' movie genres).
- Monster of the Week: Cybercreatures.
- On The Next Episode Of Catch Phrase: “Roll that film!”
- The Psycho Rangers: The story has two groups seemingly meant to be the anti-Scanrangers, Benedict’s Brigade (led by Arno Benedict and made up of several Monsters Of The Week) and Team Nightmare (made up of cyborg parodies of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Candyman, Leatherface and Ghostface) after Benedict's Brigade goes down once and for all.
- Transformation Trinket: The rangers start out by using VHS-themed changer bracelets, then later get DVD-themed ones for some reason.
- Weapon of Choice