Fan Fic / Baker School Blitz
Baker School Blitz
is a Sherlock High School A.U.
fanfiction written by Satine89 (aka Largo Quagmire
), where John Watson, an older teenager with Social Anxiety Disorder, is sent to London's only boarding school equipped to offer support and psychological services to mentally unstable teenagers, Baker Boarding House. And despite every effort to acclimate and create a normal life for himself, John ends up in the social circle of the blunt scientific genius Sherlock Holmes
. And somehow ends up being recruited for the boarding school's acapella singing group, which is basically a dumping ground for the school's biggest problem students, as overseen by Mr. Lestrade. The fic is ongoing.
Baker School Blitz provides examples of:
- Adults Are Useless: Played straight and subverted with Dr. Donovan, whose usefulness to John waxes and wanes with her attitude. Subverted entirely with Mr. Lestrade, who somehow manages to neutralize the toxic blend of personalities in his acapella singing group and handle Jim's insane crush on him with grace.
- All Gays Are Promiscuous: Jim definitely plays the trope straight, though his case is Justified by virtue of his severe nymphomania. The only other explicitly non-heterosexual character, Sebastian, has only slept with Jim, and is now dealing with the consequences of falling for Jim.
- Ambiguous Disorder: As in canon, Sherlock; Mycroft's condition hasn't been mentioned, either. Moran insists there's nothing wrong with him, but John begins to doubt that the more he gets to know him.
- Ambiguously Bi: Sherlock, who slept with Jim as part an experiment. He could also be Ambiguously Asexual, though...
- Anything That Moves: Jim's slept with every member of the acapella club except for John.
- Arc Words:
Seb: He's my best friend.
- Ascended Meme: Anderson's first name is Moira. John decides to just call him Anderson.
- Black Comedy: John's internal monologues veer into this occasionally.
...Jim, whoís too distracted with trying to flirt Mr. Lestrade to death to notice someone as wholly insignificant as his intended rape victim...
- Brutal Honesty: Sherlock edges out Jim as the worst offender.
- Butt-Monkey: Anderson.
- Cargo Ship: In-Universe, John thinks this about Mycroft and his umbrella. And the Noodle Incident with Jim and the broom.
- Catch-Phrase: Jim calling people, things, or situations "ordinary". John picks it up slightly.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Jim.
- Companion Cube: Mycroft and his umbrella.
- Deadpan Snarker: Most of the characters, especially Sherlock, have mastered this art; John is catching up with them. The author's notes also tend to invoke this.
Introducing the greatly insufferable mind of Sherlock Holmes, master of deducing life detail from Tesco coats.
- Depraved Homosexual: Jim Moriarty. Justified in that he's a nymphomaniac and treats sex as a compulsion.
- Dramatic Irony: Jim reading Lolita, given his similarities to H.H. and his Dolores-like fixation on a much older gentleman.
- Emotionless Guy: Sherlock can express emotion, but doesn't seem to do so very often.
John: I also canít help but think that something is about to go horribly wrong in my life, but I always think that. Itís the nature of being socially inept.
- In chapter six, Jim attempts to sleep with/assault John. Everything goes horribly wrong.
- From Bad to Worse: Chapter Six, in its entirety.
- Heroic B.S.O.D.: John literally blacks out after Jim's seduction attempt turns into a violent outburst. John notes that this has happened to him before he attended Baker House.
- Hormone-Addled Teenager: Jim has shades of this.
- Literal-Minded: Sherlock generally answers John's hyperbolic questions in all seriousness.
- Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: Subverted in one author's introduction.
Loony friends aren't exactly a godsend, on most days.
- Mondegreen: Becomes a recurring issue starting with Chapter Eleven. John only knows semi-coherent words for Elton John's 'Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting', for starters; a large chunk of Chapter Twelve is the boys arguing over various Mondegreens in Fall Out Boy's 'Sugar We're Goin Down'.
- My Friends... and Zoidberg: Anderson is the acapella group's Zoidberg in almost every situation.
- Mythology Gag:
- In the first chapter, John's sister Harry thinks he might have PTSD, much like John's original therapist in Sherlock's first episode. Also in the first chapter, John's old school counselor that brings him to Baker House is Mr. Stamford, and he hails from the town of Northumberland.
- Sherlock lives on floor 2, pod 21, room B... but with Anderson, not John.
- Moran plays first-person shooter video games, to tie into his canon portrayal as a sniper.
- Matching his description in Holmes canon, John notes that Jim moves like a feral lizard in his first appearance.
- Sherlock spends a great amount of time trying to reverse-engineer a solution that detects the smallest amounts of blood in any liquid, a reference to the original Holmes story A Study in Scarlet.
- As in many iterations, Sherlock plays the violin.
- The Belgravian Women's Finishing School is a reference to Sherlock's A Scandal in Belgravia.
- Not Good with People: Just about every teenager in the fic - John has Social Anxiety Disorder, Anderson is an asshole, Jim can't control his baser impulses, Sherlock specializes in brutal honesty, and Moran can barely stand being around the group half of the time. Henry also counts, as he literally believes people are being possessed by hounds.
- Oblivious to Love: For all of Jim's romanticism, he has absolutely no idea that Moran is trying to fall out of love with him.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: No one besides Dr. Donovan calls Anderson 'Moira'. Subverted with most of the other characters, who address each other with their own weird nicknames (Sebastian calls Sherlock 'Lock', for example) or by their given names.
- Only Sane Man: John, despite having a disorder that makes general interactions stressful and anxiety-filled, often comes off better than all of his acquaintances in social situations.
- Sherlock Scan: The entirety of Chapter Two, where Sherlock introduces himself to John. Occurs infrequently afterwards.
- Shipper on Deck: In-Universe; Jim, for whatever reason, tries to edge Sherlock and John together more than once.
- Shout-Out: There's a Call of Duty poster in pod 21's common area, and Moran's been trying to read A Clockwork Orange for weeks.
- The Sociopath / The Vamp: Jim is basically a walking time-bomb with those traits.
- Stalker With a Crush: Mr. Lestrade's had to change his number a couple of times because of Jim.
- Teacher/Student Romance: Jim wants this to happen with him and Mr. Lestrade, fueled by his erotomania. It's definitely one-sided.
- Wham Line:
Jim: It's none of your goddamn business!