One drink any time Nadia uses any of the following words (actually, you may want to pick just one or two):
Nerd (any form)
One drink any time Nadia uses raw sugar, sea salt, or freshly cracked pepper in any dish. Yes, they stack, so the sea salt and the fresh pepper together counts for two. On second thought, unless you're drinking beer or wine, you may want to pick just one, or only take one if any of them appear.
Bonus drink for all three in the same dish.
One drink for alcohol of any kind in a dish.
One drink for extra virgin olive oil in a dish.
One drink any time Panos says the word "bro." (Be prepared to get really drunk really fast.)
One drink if Panos says anything referencing his constantly being henpecked. (Might want to count only one each time he appears, since he tends to go on about it.)
One drink any time Spice Agent says something weird or awkward.
One drink any time the recording of the Spice Agent's name (for the record, it's Yehezkiel Mizrachi) is played.
Finish your drink, plus another, if Nadia actually tries to pronounce his name.
One drink any time the camera cuts to a shot of Nadia's shoes.
One drink any time Nadia sings.
Two any time anyone else sings.
Two drinks if Nadia delivers a Take That to any music artist or group.
Bonus drink if it's one you actively like.
Two drinks if Nadia talks about wanting a jetpack.
Two drinks if Nadia asks a question along the lines of, "What more could you ask for?" then answers it with something like, "I know, not to be poor."
Two drinks any time Nadia talks directly with the director in the lead-in to the commercial.