AGodAmI AbusiveParents ActionGirl ActorAllusion AffablyEvil AlphaBitch AndTheFandomRejoiced AnyoneCanDie ArsonMurderAndJaywalking AwesomeMusic AxCrazy BeyondTheImpossible BookEnds BreakingTheFourthWall ButtMonkey CelebrityParadox CentralTheme CharacterGush ChekhovsGun CompletedMigrations CrazyPrepared CreatorBreakdown DarkIsNotEvil DarkerAndEdgier DeadpanSnarker DealWithTheDevil DisproportionateRetribution DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything DracoInLeatherPants DrivenToSuicide EarnYourHappyEnding EstablishingCharacterMoment ExecutiveMeddling Expy FanPreferredCouple Fanfic FiveManBand FlameWar FreudianExcuse FunnyAneurysmMoment GenreDeconstruction GermansLoveDavidHasselhoff GrowingTheBeard HappilyMarried HarsherInHindsight HaveAGayOldTime HeterosexualLifePartners HoistByHisOwnPetard HonorBeforeReason HypocriticalHumor IdiotBall IdiotHero IdiotPlot InterspeciesRomance JerkWithAHeartOfGold JerkassWoobie KilledOffForReal LastNameBasis LauncherOfAThousandShips Leitmotif LightIsNotGood LoopholeAbuse MagnificentBastard Main MeaningfulName MindScrew MisaimedFandom MissingEpisode MoodWhiplash MoralEventHorizon NamesTheSame NinjaPirateZombieRobot NonIndicativeName ObfuscatingStupidity OlderThanTheyLook OlderThanTheyThink OnlySaneMan PapaWolf PaperThinDisguise PimpedOutDress PrecisionFStrike Radar RedOniBlueOni ReferencedBy SceneryPorn SeinfeldIsUnfunny SerialEscalation ShipTease ShipToShipCombat ShipperOnDeck ShootTheShaggyDog ShownTheirWork ShutUpHannibal SlidingScaleOfIdealismVersusCynicism SmallReferencePools SpiritualSuccessor StepfordSmiler SuspiciouslySpecificDenial TemptingFate ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill ThrowItIn TimeLord TitleDrop TooDumbToLive TroubledProduction TurnOfTheMillennium UnusualEuphemism VillainSong WellIntentionedExtremist WhamLine WhatAnIdiot WhatMeasureIsANonHuman WhatTheHellHero WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds XMeetsY
has Nicola, who is always ready with some witty banter behind the master's back.
Arms and the Man Touchstone and Jaques from .
As You Like It Mrs. Baker in Butterflies Are Free. And it's awesome.
Jill: (talking about auditioning for a play naked) I don't think anyone could call me a prude.
Mrs. Baker: (mock outrage) I'd like to see them try!
Joanne in . She's about as snarky as you can find.
Company John Proctor of shows some of this, especially in Act One.
The Crucible : In a play settled in Paris at Cyrano de Bergerac The Cavalier Years, Witty Banter is Serious Business for everyone.
Ragueneau: Have you been in some danger?
Lise (shaking her finger at him): Methinks you speak not the truth in saying that!
Raguenau’s wife, Lisa, gives us her opinion of Raguenau’s poets friends:
Ragueneau: How can I? In a moment,
My poets will be here. ]
Countess Orsina from Emilia Galotti who brims over with sarcasm, being the only enlightened woman in the whole play.
John and Ken mostly in Fifth Of July, but everyone gets their shots in at least once.
Phyllis from Follies.
King Gama from Gilbert and Sullivan's .
Princess Ida : Hamlet himself. All the time, even when talking to himself.
Hamlet Maggie Grant in .
Lady in the Dark Lorenzo de Medici in Lorenzaccio is famous in-universe for his snarky remarks, some of which are extremely bitter.
Portia in .
The Merchant of Venice Mary Flynn from . An unusual character trait given that she's the chick in her Merrily We Roll Along Power Trio.
has Benedick and Beatrice, whose Much Ado About Nothing Belligerent Sexual Tension results in much Snark-to-Snark Combat.
Natalie of , though she's something of a Next To Normal Stepford Snarker
: Iago has some sweet moments.
Othello The Lemony Narrator of .
Passing Strange :
Romeo and Juliet Mercutio. Especially as he's dying.
Romeo's usually too busy whining, but he is shown to be quite snarky himself when he's in a happier mood, i.e. Act II.
In , Franklin, Jefferson, 1776 and Adams all have their moments, but Jefferson wins for sheer... deadpan-yness.
Adams: Do you mean to tell me that [the Declaration of Independence] is not yet finished?! Jefferson: No, sir. I mean to say that it is not yet begun.
And then, almost immediately afterwards:
Adams: He has a whole week! The world was created in a week! Jefferson: Someday you must tell me how you did it.
Adams: Disgusting. Look at him, Franklin. Virginia's most famous lover! Jefferson: Virginia abstains.
Gemma on Sons of Anarchy:
Gemma: Jesus is the guy who cuts my lawn.
Archie from .
Twelfth Night The fool. Olivia even calls him a "dry fool".
Olivia herself, mostly in the first act and towards Orsino.
Speed, Servile Snarker extraordinaire from . Proteus jokes that he's so dry, he'd save a ship from sinking simply by being on it.
Two Gentlemen of Verona Royal advisors in productions are often this, e.g. Dandini in Usles Cinderella.
Wicked In Act One, Fiyero has elements of this. His response when Elphaba claims his carriage almost ran her over is to comment that his driver saw green (her skincolour) and thought it meant go, and when asked if he was sleeping rather than paying attention tells her that he was sleeping, it's daytime.
Elphaba very much.
Fiyero: Uh, listen, I've been thinking— Elphaba: Yes, I heard.
But that line is the least of it.
Nessarose: What are you doing here?
Well, there's no place like home.
Glinda and Elphaba: There must be some confusion for you see my roommate is...
Glinda: Unusually and exceeding peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe.
Elphaba: [ Beat] Blonde.
Ruth Sherwood from Wonderful Town, especially in her song "One Hundred Easy Ways".