Darth Wiki / Continuity Gorn
Johnny and Baronessy were tired from running. They stopped in an alley and fell asleep. A mysterious man, holding a death note, approaches them. He writes, "I will enter their minds, warp their dream and if they die in the dream so shall their physical bodies. Johnny and Baronessy found themselves in a shared dreams. Visions swirled around, one side covered with images of Hell, monstrous aliens, apocalyptic disasters, genocidal wars and Jesse Jackson; the other was filled with beautiful women, peaceful sounds that could be seen, wondrous landscapes stretching into infinity and a endless feeling of calm. Johnny and Baronessy ran towards the utopian paradise promised on one side but the man blocked them. He was covered in fire, exposed organs and claws. He said, "your sense of consistent thought is, normally, turned off during an altered state but I prefer a consistent battlefield." He cast a spell and everything melded together in a coherent pattern. Johnny saw the background turn into a beautiful finite field, covered in monsters. Everything that happened aftrwards would be as logical and consistent as most Hollywood creations. He summoned a gorup of demons who surrounded Johnny and one by one, attacked him. Johnny, easily, defeated the demons, throwing them into convenient mirrors that appeared out of nowhere. None was injured by the glass yet all died upon contact. One demon remained, a short, thin creature who seemed to be an easy target. Johnny kicked the demon but it defected the blow. It unleashed martial arts that seemed to occur in slow motion, hitting Johnny ten times faster than he could react. Johnny landed 500 feet from the mirrors, far from where any of the shattered glass had landed, while the demon prepared to deliver a mortal blow. He, suddenly, noticed a shard of glass that seemed to have teleported to his side. He picked it up, the demon jumped on him and he drove the glass through its chest, ribs, heart and back. Unimaginable force of oncoming darkness and the collapse of life's sweet grasp Death Note Man screamed, "That Makes Me Feel Angry! You've eliminated regenerating absolute power of tentacled superior destruction Rapefiend Destructo Stoart but my power is over 9000! You'll never confront raging force of gay evil, enormity and scientific bastardization Corporomaster Evilton Shithead!" He shifted the battlefield to a volcano. Fire surrounded the small platform that held the combatants, steam and noxious shit filled the air but no one was harmed. Death Note Man summoned strange creatures, covered in fire that combined jackals, iron men, robots and smoke monsters. They began to run towards Johnny Baronessy, until the fire burned through the robotic quarter of their bodies. Their programmng was severely disrupted and they perceived Death Note Man as the enemy. They ran towards him and launched fireballs but he shifted the scene at the last millisecond. Johnny grew tired of this game and run towars Death Note Man. He fell and slid, however, because this was a Slippy Slidy Ice World. He landed in the center of the ice field, broke his leg and the ice began to crack. Johnny screamed in pain and horror as he imagined an icy tomb. Baronessy realized, however that since this was a dream, she could control everything! Johnny's leg healed, the ice turned into a grassy field and Johnny acquired a flaming sword! This was not a Deus ex Machina, merely a clever, completely original way to resolve the problem and no one could prove otherwise. Johnny stabbed the man, who went flying through a red tunnel of spikes, demons and fire. He screamed in intense searing pain until all woke up. Johnny and Baronessy awoke to find Death Note Man standing on the other side of the alley. He said, "congratulations but now, I shall show you the true power of a death note. I could kill you outright but a battle is more fun. Survive or I shall take your lives and souls and you shall be fucked!