Creator: Victor Borge

"A smile is the shortest distance between two people."

Victor Borge was a man who combined two very distinctive forms of entertainment—classical piano music and Stand-Up Comedy—into one amazing whole. He himself was an exceptionally talented pianist, but rolled along with general comedy and making fun of his own craft. He had his own show in the 50's and 60's, The Victor Borge Show, that was largely a musical showcase but also demonstrate his deft comedic tone.

Among his most famous routines include "Phonetic Punctuation," his battle with a soprano soloist (where he was very particular about her not touching his piano), working Happy Birthday into other works, and entire sections where he would turn familiar jingles on their head.

Apart from his music, he helped popularize the Cornish game hen in the United States in The Sixties.

He was born in Denmark and kept a thick accent his entire life, he became an American citizen just before World War II as his wife was American (he also once publically denounced Hitler and it was simply safer for him and his family on the other side of the world - that and the fact that he was Jewish). He remained active in performing his entire life, including many shows in his home country of Denmark. He passed away in 2000 at the age of 91, but people are still rediscovering his routines today.

Borge and his work provide examples of:

  • Brawn Hilda: One routine of Victor's describes an operatic singer who "not only fills part of the soprano, she overflows it".
    "Her measurements are 36-24-36, and her other arm is just as heavy. She stands about 4 1/2 feet tall—lying down."
  • Fan Nickname: "The Clown Prince of Denmark", "The Great Dane"
  • Genre-Busting
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: "Why are there three pedals on this grand piano? Who do they think I am?"
    • "If there are children in the audience, I cannot perform the second half in the nude. I'll wear a tie. The long one. The very long one."
  • Malaproper: He introduced the 'Cara Nome' aria from Rigoletto as "the 'Cockamamie' aria from Rigor Mortis, by... by.. by all means. That is, by Guisseppe Verdi. Joe Green to you."
    • He also referred to Debussy's "Clair de Lune" as "Clear the Saloon".
  • Martial Arts and Crafts: The only way to explain his rendition of Hungarian Rhapsody #2 with a fellow pianist. This was faithfully recreated on The Muppet Show where he did the same thing with Rowlf, which is difficult enough with two humans.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: He often pretended that he didn't know how to play piano at the beginning of his concerts, and would complain that the stagehand didn't mark the Middle C key on his keyboard. But he was in fact a virtuoso pianist.
    • During one bit, he started playing On The Beautiful Blue Danube, noticed something sounded more than a little off, started again ("That's what it says!"), then realized the sheet music was upside down.
  • Piano Key Wave: He had a comedy bit where his piano sounds wrong... so he takes the row of keys out, flips them, and it sounds perfect.
  • Running Gag: sneaking "Happy Birthday" into various songs. Once did this as a full routine where he played it in the style of various composers.
  • Sesame Street Cred: He advocated buckling your seat-belts when on the show... because you never know when you'll slide off your piano bench.
  • Shown His Work: Nobody could poke fun at music like he did unless they knew as much about it as he did.
  • Special Guest: Victor Borge has interacted with many performers, including a Musical Phonetic Punctuation piece with Dean Martin.
  • Sublime Rhyme: Victor frequently did this whenever attempting to play from Dmitri Shostakovich's sheet music.
    Victor: And now, a little Shostakovich. (confused pause) Just a moment!
  • Super OCD: In one bit he was trying to play "Camptown Races" but felt something was wrong with the piano. He got up from his bench and moved the entire piano about a foot and started playing the song correctly in a lower octave.
    • Moving the piano over was a recurring gag for him.
  • Take That: Victor was certainly no fan of contemporary composer Dmitri Shostakovich. Whenever the time came to perform Shostakovich, Victor would play random notes in a brash, chaotic manner.
    Victor: We're gonna wait 'til he gets sober.
  • Throw It In: During one performance (a concert in honour of his 80th birthday), violinist and friend Anton Kontra asked Borge to perform a piece (Monti's Czardas) together on the spot. Borge was familiar with the the piece but had never played it. He ended up improvising his part and his friend went along with it, ending up with this.
  • Viewers Are Geniuses The more you know about music, the funnier he is.