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Creator: Ogden Nash
Candy is dandy,
But Liquor Is Quicker.

Ogden Nash (1902-1971) was one of the great writers of American humorous poetry, noted for couplets or other poems that rhyme, but the lines are of different length and irregular meter. He lived in Baltimore most of his life, and included several paeans to it in his work. Also noted are his series of poems set to Camille Saint-Saens' "Carnival Of The Animals".

He was also verified by the Guinness Book Of World Records as having composed the shortest published poem: "On the Antiquity of Fleas", which consists of the single line "Adam had 'em."

Tropes in Ogden Nash's work:

  • Analogy Backfire: The poem "The Romantic Age", about a lovestruck teenage girl who:
    Presses lips and tosses head,
    Declares she's not too young to wed.
    Informs you pertly you forget
    Do not argue, do not shout;
    Remind her how that one turned out.
  • Asshole Victim: In the first verse "Polterguest, my Polterguest", the narrator claims such exasperation as to tempt him to throw the bitch under a train. In the last verse, we learn that he has already tried, unsuccessfully, to drown her.
    • Double Subverted with Pinball Pete in A Tale of the Thirteenth Floor:
      "...I turned the heat upon Pinball Pete
      "You see, I had a daughter, too."
  • But Liquor Is Quicker: "Reflections on Ice-Breaking" is the Trope Namer.
  • Ceiling Banger:
    We might love the people upstairs wonderous
    If, instead of above us, they lived just underus.
  • Least Rhymable Word:
    There are no rhymes for orange or silver,
    Unless liberties you pilfer.
  • Little Did I Know: "Don't Guess, Let Me Tell You".
  • Missing Floor: "A Tale of the Thirteenth Floor".
  • Painful Rhyme: invoked Though done deliberately, and often lampshaded by changes in the spelling.
  • Romantic Hyperbole:
    More than a catbird hates a cat,
    Or a criminal hates a clue,
    Or the Axis hates the United States,
    That's how much I love you....
  • Spotlight-Stealing Title:
    "The Self-Effacement of Electra Thorne":
    As for egocentricity, good heavens!
    What's egocentric about wanting the marquee to read
    ELECTRA THORNE
    IN
    OPHELIA AND HAMLET
    WITH
    MAURICE EVANS
    ?
  • Stuffy Old Songs About the Buttocks: "The Clean Platter"
    Some singers sing of ladies' eyes
    And some of ladies' lips,
    Refined ones praise their ladylike ways,
    And coarse ones hymn their hips.
  • Termite Trouble/Floorboard Failure: "The Termite"
    Some primal termite knocked on wood
    Tasted it, and found it good
    And that is why your Cousin May
    Fell through the parlor floor today.
  • The So-Called Coward: "Custard the Dragon" is about a woman named Belinda who lived with a kitten, a mouse, a dog, and a dragon. Counter-intuitively, the kitten, mouse, and dog were all described as being very brave, while the dragon was a coward. However, when a pirate broke into the house and threatened Belinda, the three supposedly 'brave' animals ran and hid, and Custard stood his ground, fought the pirate, and ate him.
  • The Thing That Would Not Leave: "Polterguest, My Polterguest".
  • Wendigo:
    The Wendigo, the Wendigo
    I saw it just a friend ago
    Last night it lurked in Canada
    Tonight on your veranda!

OvidPoetryBanjo Paterson
Glenn MillerThe FortiesOne Touch of Venus
Daniel Keys MoranAuthorsLarry Niven

alternative title(s): Ogden Nash
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