Michael Hazen James McIntyre (born 21 February 1976) is a hyperactive British standup comic focusing on observational humour. Also a frequent guest on
Panel Games and the host of his own
Game Show,
The Wheel. He is known for being subject to a dissonance between
being popular in the general public but hated by many critics for being 'too conventional' or 'too safe'. His best known routines are probably the "
Man Drawer
", that time when
the dentist couldn't get his tooth out, his claim that
skipping while swinging your arms gives you
Super-Speed at the expense of looking a bit stupid, and the revelation that
any word can be used by a posh person to mean drunk: "gazebo'd", "car parked".
Contains examples of:
- Affectionate Nickname: Ozzy, for his youngest son, Oscar
- Anthropomorphic Food: One of his bits is about different spices talking amongst themselves in a cupboard, complaining about their lack of use in comparison to salt and pepper.
- Camp Straight: His usual manner, often lampshaded.
- Curse Cut Short: In his tale about the dentist, he gets one off to the anesthetist who says "Yes, I know exactly who you are, my daughters are big fans... my wife and I, not so keen."
McIntyre: I was like 'You mother-' [mimes fainting]
- Deadpan Snarker: Despite his usual hyperactive manner, he is given to moments of wry, sardonic wit.
McIntyre: I've heard that sex and curry can induce labour. Unfortunately, it kind of got me and my wife kicked out of the Raj King.
- Eye Tropes: Despite having no known East Asian ancestry, McIntyre has "Chinese eyes", which he sometimes mentions.
- I Am Very British
- Large Ham: Just when you thought he reached how loud he could get, he always manages get even louder.
- Ridiculous Exchange Rates: Referenced when he miscalculated an exchange rate, giving all his remaining local cash to a helpful guide in Dubai, thinking it was worth £90 - then, on the plane home, realising it was actually worth 9p.
- Sharp-Dressed Man: Always wears a suit.
- That Came Out Wrong: An attempted 'innocently quirky joke reply' which came out as implying he was a paedophile:
Mother at playgroup: Which child is yours?
McIntyre: Oh, none of them.
- Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Has a routine about this, trying to find a fake name for his child weird enough to stop people from automatically saying 'what a nice name' when told it, including "Adolf" and "Laser Child of Mine".
