Creator: Hans Von Hozel

The German flag. Also is Hans von Hozel's avatar on Fanfiction.net

"Hallo there, my name is Hans von Hozel.
I like to write stories to make an improve of my English.
Please read and enjoy! :)"

"I had idea when one day, I going in Berlin. Suddenly, everything in English! I could not understand it. It was like it in another language, so I make English and do stories in it. : D"
Hans von Hozel

Hans von Hozel is one of many writers on Fanfiction Dot Net, though his original account and fanfics are no longer on the website, having been removed by the site without explanation. Probably the most notable thing about Hans' collection of fics is that he had a fic for just about everything. Well, maybe not everything, but chances are if there's a huge fanbase (e.g. Twilight), there will be a fic for that sooner or later. Although, the plot might not have to do with the storyline at all...

You can find a steadily-building archive of his old work here. Additionally, his new account is available here, though it hasn't been nearly as prolific as his old account was.

Hans von Hozel's works provide examples of:

  • Troll Fic: His works.
    Hans: "I had idea when one day, I going in Berlin. Suddenly, everything in English! I could not understand it. It was like it in another language, so I make English and do stories in it. : D"
    • He has received a tribute in Troll Fic form.
  • The Unintelligible: In Hans's fics, The Beatles can only say "Liverpol".
  • Who's on First?: "One day, House was walk into his House."
  • Woman Scorned: in Benjamin Button, Daisy has the deaged-to-fetus Benjamin Button aborted despite him not being inside anyone's uterus at the time as revenge after Benjamin has the gall to dump her.
  • You Keep Using That Word:
    • As mentioned, he seems convinced that the word "Danube" is a rather vaguely-defined verb.
    • He also likes to take verbs and change them to "make a (verb)ing". For example, from the fanfiction Strawberry Fields Forever:
      "LOOK!" shout Fans, "THE BEATLES ARE MAKING A STEALING!"
    • He also thinks that the plural of "broom" (which he consistently spells "Brom", and uses as if it were a name) is "bromine". "Brom", however, is German for "bromine" he seems to have the two confused. Bromine just so happens to be a periodic element; an odd thing to get confused with a broom of the sweeping kind.