Carlton Mellick III (born July 2, 1977) is a bizarro author whose surreal counterculture novels have made an international cult following despite being shunned by most libraries and corporate bookstores.
His body of works include:
- Armadillo Fists
- As She Stabbed Me Gently In The Face
- Adolf In Wonderland
- Apeshit
- The Bad Box
- The Big Meat
- Bio Melt
- The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart
- The Cannibals of Candyland
- ClownFellas
- Clusterfuck
- Crab Town
- Cuddly Holocaust
- Cybernetrix
- The Egg Man
- Electric Jesus Corpse
- Every Time We Meet At The Dairy Queen Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes
- Exercise Bike
- The Faggiest Vampire
- Fishy Fleshed
- Full Metal Octopus
- The Girl With The Barbed Wire Hair
- Goblins On The Other Side
- The Handsome Squirm
- Hammer Wives
- Hungry Bug
- I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter
- Kill Ball
- ''The Kobold Wizards Dildo Of Enlightenment Plus 2
- The Haunted Vagina
- The Menstruating Mall
- The Morbidly Obese Ninja
- Mouse Trap
- Neverday
- Ocean Of Lard
- Parasite Milk
- Punk Land
- Quicksand House
- Razor Wire Pubic Hair
- Satan Burger
- Sausagey Santa
- Sea of the Patchwork Cats
- Seven Cyborgs
- Sex And Death In Television Town
- Snuggle Club
- Spider Bunny
- Stacking Doll
- Satan Burger
- Steel Breakfast Era
- Sunset With A Beard
- Sweet Story
- Teeth And Tongue Landscape
- The Terrible Thing That Happens
- The Tick People
- Tumor Fruit
- Ugly Heaven
- Ultra Fuckers
- Village of the Mermaids
- War Slut
- Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland
- Zombies and Shit
General Tropes associated with this author include:
- Author Appeal: Mellick likes punk, Japanese pop culture and nerdy pastimes like D&D. He really likes sexy, terrifying monster girls. Expect to see a lot of all of it.
- Author Avatar: Many of his books has a short comic in place of the afterword, where one of these talks about the story and the process of writing it. Sometimes it seems to be telling the truth, sometimes it veers into absurdity, like claiming that one particular story was hard to write because Mellick's computer kept biting his hands off.
- Babies Ever After: If a story has a moderately happy ending, there's likely to be an epilogue where the protagonist has settled down with their love interest and had children. The stories that don't end like that are likely to have massive Downer Endings. On rare occasions, both happen at once.
- Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: Mellick's male characters very frequently get raped (or else strongly pressured into sex) by powerful, terrifying women. They usually find it upsetting, but eventually get over it and often end up in a loving relationship with the woman. His female characters occasionally get raped too, but for them it's portrayed as a harrowing and traumatic experience, and the rapist usually comes to a well-deserved bad end.
- So My Kids Can Watch: Mellick has made occasional forays into young-adult literature, such as Quicksand House.
- Straw Conservative: Conservative characters are almost always loud-mouthed, ignorant, hateful and prejudiced.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: A recurring element in his books is premises that play sci-fi or fantasy tropes far more realistically than their respective genres:
- Sweet Story: A girl's wish for it to rain candy causes massive devastation as sweets fall from the sky with lethal force, in lieu of water.
- The Big Meat: The kaiju is felled and humanity on the whole is safe, but now an impossibly massive animal carcass is fouling what's left of the city.