The Bag Enders episode Strider: Scoutmaster features this exchange:
"Let me get this right. You have become a Scoutmaster in order to try and become respectable? Were there no openings for gigolos?" "What do you mean? It's a well respected youth organisation." "I've met Baden Powell," said Legolas very darkly. "Wow! Could you come and give a talk?"
In Bleach Fan Works, the authors of Bleach fanfiction typically don't take criticism well... when, that is, they actually understand the point the reviewers are trying to make. See this exchange between Dark Kuroda and Animus Rover, regarding how Animus's Original Charracter Culth killed over four million Hollows with a single sword attack.
Dark Kuroda: No... you made a character that is ten times more unbelievable then him.
Animus Rover: (does not respond).
Calvin & Hobbes: The Series: After Calvin spends all episode pining for a VideoNow, Hobbes tells him that there's more to life than handheld TV's. Calvin realizes that he's right - there are bathtub TV's now!
When told to put some words in order by the school psychologist, Calvin puts them in the shape of a velociraptor.
Later on, when Calvin sees a horribly-painted house:
Hobbes: Oh my gosh, that's horrible!
Calvin: I'll say! What kind of sicko paints their house pink?
In the Saki doujin "Captain Half", Mihoko splits into two people as a result of her wish that there were two of her so that she could make dinner for 80 people- unfortunately, her counterpart turns out to be a Jerkass. After she tells Bundou, the following exchange occurs.
Bundou: If you'd told us, we'd all help!
Mihoko: Please don't say that. I want everyone to be able to play mahjong. I can't trouble you over something like this when you're all trying to further yourselves.
An often occurrence with the hapless narrator in Equestria: A History Revealed, who ignores obvious information right in front of her, to go off on a tangent on some minuscule, trivial thing.
On the few times she does manage to potentially discover some kind of conspiracy in Equestrian history, she instead overanalyzes something meaningless, such as when she was convinced that word choice in a certain quotation was suspicious, and spent three paragraphs analyzing of the use of the word, "hellfire". She figures out that the word was used to describe an evil fire.
A darker than usual example happens when they're discussing what to do with Hans, after finding out what he's done.
Harken: I could whip him. I've only just procured the most marvelous cat of nine tails. Glass shards imbedded in the leather, guaranteed to cleave flesh with each stroke. (gets a Slasher Smile)
Helm: That is not an option.
Harken: Why not? Would you rather perform the honor?
Horatio: The last man father placed you in charge of whipping died the next day.
Harken: Exactly. That should tell you how much I need the practice.
"Harry Potter and the Copyright Fiasco" was a parody skit performed at a charity fund raiser for Free the Children at Zionsville High School in April 2011. Cho, trying to get Harry to take her back:
Cho: I know you're more famous and admired now than ever before... but that's not why I'm here. I just like you for you! You know what, I don't even remember why we broke up. Harry: Um, we didn't break up. I broke up with you because you kept crying over your last boyfriend, because you kept accusing me of cheating on you with Hermione... and because you stood by your friend when she betrayed every single person in Dumbledore's Army. Cho: No no no, it's all right dear, you've forgotten. I forgave you for breaking up with me a long time ago. Harry: Uh, you're kind of missing the point Cho.
"Here and Now" From a Axis Powers Hetalia Fanfic. Russia is having horrible nightmares and America asks England to help him get into his dreams to stop them. He gets attacked while in the 'corridor' where the nightmares shouldn't get to him.
ďI was in the corridor damn it! I thought you said the dreams were supposed to be sequestered behind those doors? Theyíre not!Ē America looked up from his hands that he had laced together in his lap and tilted his head at Englandís odd look. The suit he was wearing felt tight and he shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to get more comfortable. ďWhat?Ē he finally asked. "You used sequestered correctly.Ē
Hivefled; Lieutenant Gritch is under the impression that the round-robin fanfic his students are writing that involves him dying in various painful ways is a sign they like him, and added some to it himself. The students aren't sure if he's trying to be funny or if he really is that oblivious.
Meanwhile, on Earth, Karkat is shocked by the idea of a species who spend so much time on their "concupiscent couches" (a.k.a. beds) that they often fall asleep on them.
Fury:Let me get this straight. We nearly had an intergalactic incident on our hands because one of the Avengers ran off on a date with an alien Prince, and it wasn'tStark?
In Marie D Suesse And The Mystery New Pirate Age, the main villain is Monkey D. Madelyn, a Mary Sue who mind-controlled Trafalgar Law and many other canon characters into loving her. One war and many years later, her past crimes are exposed via a long and dramatic flashback to her present-day husband. It gets this reaction:
In Mixed Spirits, the Doctor is trying to convince some shinigami that he and Gin had body swapped, but they're understandably wary of this explanation. Matsumoto decides the best way to test it is to tackle him to the ground and start making out with him.
Hitsugaya: I don't believe it.
Renji: Nor do I. Holy shit. He's still able to talk and his eyes aren't crossing.
The author thinks that friendship is magic in the sense that it is an actual force to fight, similar to a Kamehameha, instead of just a positive virtue.
For being a revenge/hate fic, the sequel actually shows Twilight and her friends to be more competent in general than Lightning and Starfleet.
Paper Mario: The Land of Harmony: The group had just been informed that Mario and Spike had survived the Colts of Nocturne's attack on them before. However, the first thing on Sirius's mind was that a Goomba could cosplay as Daring Do.
Rosario Vampire: Brightest Darkness Act II: When Kurumu regains her memories of Rason and confirms her friends' story, Ageha is initially more concerned that Kurumu lost her virginity to Rason instead of Tsukune rather than the fact that her daughter was recently murdered and brought Back from the Dead.
In Seventh Horcrux, Hermione is repeatedly called out on taking unnecessarily vicious or amoral actions, which eventually culminates in a Heel Realization on her part. Harry attempts to resolve her worries about being evil so that they can get back to the task of killing Voldemort. Which leads to this exchange:
Harry "Hermione, much like you, my nature is also somewhat evil. But I channel that evil into constructive aims, like murdering the Dark Lord. We should probably get back to that, by the way. Itís been a few weeks."
Hermione "But what if Iím the next Dark Lord?"
Harry "I donít think You-Know-Who will like that very much. Youíll have to kill him anyway."
Tony: What, three hundred not enough for you? Fine, I'll give you five hundred million if it'll keep you from dying on Stephen's table.
In Sweetie Belle: Blackjack Dealer. Yay!, Sweetie Belle gets hired by a casino manager who hopes to use her undiluted adorableness to deter mobsters and other unsavory elements from ruining his new place (because he really wants to run a genuinely family-friendly establishment). When two mob enforcers show up, he directs them to her and this exchange happens:
Nunzio: Now you see, weís here to make sure nothing bad happens to this here casino.
Sweetie Belle: Oh, thatís very nice of you.
Mugsy: What my partner means to say is that it would be a shame if something bad was to happen, and we can make sure that it doesnít.
Sweetie Belle: Well donít let me stop you, unless you need me to do something? Should I move my table? Is it in the way?
"Well," Dr. Possible finally said as his eyes settled once again on Kim. Her eyes didn't even blink in response. "You're dating Shego here." "Yes." "A girl. Not a boy." She nodded. "And you don't plan on dating any boys in the near future." "Mm-hm." Dr. Possible glanced at his wife, who still appeared a little stunned. "Well, if this means I don't have to worry about you chasing any boys, that's good enough for me."
In Merlin crackfic A Very Hairy Situation, Merlin assumes that the new (male) object of Arthur's affections is a girl, and earns himself a whack over the head. Merlin hastily apologizes.