Altair of all people in Bitter Leaves and Blossoms Bright. Last time he saw Isra, she had him reassigned to Masyaf due to him lacking tact and pissing her off (he kinda called her a whore for starters). She angrily throws a map at him saying :
Isra: (furious) "You! You're supposed to be in Masyaf! What are you doing here!?"
Altair: (slightly shocked) "You threw a map at me."
The Bag Enders episode Strider: Scoutmaster features this exchange:
"Let me get this right. You have become a Scoutmaster in order to try and become respectable? Were there no openings for gigolos?" "What do you mean? It's a well respected youth organisation." "I've met Baden Powell," said Legolas very darkly. "Wow! Could you come and give a talk?"
In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, after Kyon is greeted by a pillow in his face, thrown by Haruhi:
Kyon: Haruhi? Was that you? Haruhi: Wah! Seriously? You can tell it's me because of how the pillow hit you? Kyon: I can tell it's you because you hit me with a pillow at all.
"Harry Potter and the Copyright Fiasco" was a parody skit performed at a charity fund raiser for Free the Children at Zionsville High School in April 2011. Cho, trying to get Harry to take her back:
Cho: I know you're more famous and admired now than ever before... but that's not why I'm here. I just like you for you! You know what, I don't even remember why we broke up. Harry: Um, we didn't break up. I broke up with you because you kept crying over your last boyfriend, because you kept accusing me of cheating on you with Hermione... and because you stood by your friend when she betrayed every single person in Dumbledore's Army. Cho: No no no, it's all right dear, you've forgotten. I forgave you for breaking up with me a long time ago. Harry: Uh, you're kind of missing the point Cho.
"Here and Now" From a Axis Powers Hetalia Fanfic. Russia is having horrible nightmares and America asks England to help him get into his dreams to stop them. He gets attacked while in the 'corridor' where the nightmares shouldn't get to him.
“I was in the corridor damn it! I thought you said the dreams were supposed to be sequestered behind those doors? They’re not!” America looked up from his hands that he had laced together in his lap and tilted his head at England’s odd look. The suit he was wearing felt tight and he shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to get more comfortable. “What?” he finally asked. "You used sequestered correctly.”
"Well," Dr. Possible finally said as his eyes settled once again on Kim. Her eyes didn't even blink in response. "You're dating Shego here." "Yes." "A girl. Not a boy." She nodded. "And you don't plan on dating any boys in the near future." "Mm-hm." Dr. Possible glanced at his wife, who still appeared a little stunned. "Well, if this means I don't have to worry about you chasing any boys, that's good enough for me."
Calvin and Hobbes: The Series: After Calvin spends all episode pining for a VideoNow, Hobbes tells him that there's more to life than handheld TV's. Calvin realizes that he's right - there are bathtub TV's now!
When told to put some words in order by the school psychologist, Calvin puts them in the shape of a velociraptor.
Later on, when Calvin sees a horribly-painted house:
Hobbes: Oh my gosh, that's horrible!
Calvin: I'll say! What kind of sicko paints their house pink?
Discworld fanfic ''Clowning is a Serious Business has this dialogue between Assassins Joan Sanderson-Reeves and Miss Alice Band. Joan has just finished demonstrating a fire-breathing act.
Joan stroked Brandi behind the ear, and asked if there was any water available.
"The inside of my mouth tastes like a wretched gnoll's loincloth." she explained, taking a deep appreciative swig.
"I didn't realise you'd ever eaten one." Alice said, thoughtfully.
Later, there is a dialogue which depends on the idiosyncracies of a Rimwards Howondalandian ("South African") accent:-
"If they ever were." said Joan. "What was that bloody heckling about, anyway?"
"Oh, it sorted itself out" Johanna said, dismissively. "This bleddy jester got dregged out by the bells."
"Ouch." said Joan, after making the necessary adjustments for a Howondalandian accent. "The Jolly Good Pals don't mess about, do they?"
Johanna giggled.
"No, Joan. He was dregged out by the bells. You know, the metel things a jester hes on his het thet jingle".
In Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure, ADMIRAL Awesome's response to learning that he failed to save the world was to be horrified... that he wasn't getting any money or medals.
In Marie D Suesse And The Mystery New Pirate Age, the main villain is Monkey D. Madelyn, a Mary Sue who mind-controlled Trafalgar Law and many other canon characters into loving her. One war and many years later, her past crimes are exposed via a long and dramatic flashback to her present-day husband. It gets this reaction:
Fate Stay Night Ultimate Master has a quite good one when Avenger decides that, seeing how Ben got injured last time she left him alone, it's better if she sleeps in the same bed than him. Ben, already shocked and embarrassed by the sight of her getting out of her bath, understandably tries to express his disagreement. Avenger's answer?
Avenger: "It is no difficulty. The beds are quite large so they can comfortably hold us both."
In Ponyfall: Leather and Lace, Will shows Rarity the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "Suited For Success". Her first response is to start angsting about how an entire planet saw the horrible outfits she was asked to make, and that her reputation is now tarnished on two worlds.
For being a revenge/hate fic against My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic , the sequel actually shows Twilight and her friends to be more competent in general, than Lightning and Starfleet.