They'll chop your gronch off.
A
darkly funny fantasy comic by James Stokoe, first published in 2010 by
Image Comics.
For a million millenia, orcs have been raiding and killing, with thousands of gangs and tribes warring with other races—and each other—the world over. However, one chieftain known as the Orctzar has united dozens of tribes under his banner, creating the largest orc empire anyone has ever seen. He's searching for a "God Organ", which he believes will make him even more powerful; but a seer tells him a certain one-eyed orc is his only hope to unlock its power. The Orctzar's armies begin their search...
Our hero, One-Eye, is tired of brutal orc society, and is busy trying to make a living on his own as a thief (a decidedly non-orcky pursuit), and just wishes the Orctzar's minions would leave him alone. Things, of course, do not go as planned.
This comic book contains examples of:
- Asskicking Equals Authority: Being orcs, it's a given. The Orctzar is the most obvious example.
- Attackits Weak Point: One-eye's preferred method of combat, since his eye allows him to spot the weakest point in the structural integrity of any object—including living things.
- BadassAbnormal/HandicappedBadass: One-Eye.
- Badass Cape: Bowie has a literal one, in that the fur cloak she wears is alive, named Zazu and expresses a constant desire to crush orcs.
- Blind Seer: The Orctzar gets his information about seeking a one eyed orc from one.
- Cool Shades: Boss Beard Sersa wears a pair.
- Creepy Souvenir: Orcs wear the genitalia of their defeated enemies as jewelry.
- Fanservice: The love nymphs.
- Fan Disservice: ...who are usually accompanied by very naked orcs.
- Godiva Hair: Boss Beard Sersa. You can probably figure it out.
- Medieval Stasis: Almost certainly, if the orcs really have existed in their current form for a million millenia.
- Nice Hat: The Orctzar. Holy crap.
◊ - Living Weapon: Hand-in-hand with Organic Technology below, most weapons more complex than a blade involve tugging on bits of some strangely-shaped animal.
- Choppy's axe appears to be alive for no apparent reason, with eyes and vaguely avian features.
- Organic Technology: All over the place. Of note are the 'Splody Shells, Talky Lines and strongboxes built out of Gurpas.
- Our Monsters Are Weird: Every. Single. One.
- Our Orcs Are Different: In this case, lanky blue-green fellas with an affinity for biological tech, whose social hierarchy boils down to how many severed penises you own. They also appear to be the dominant race in the world, with humans completely absent.
- Scenery Porn: Stokoe draws huge, bizarre vistas absolutely packed with detail.
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: Bowie with the help of one of her potions transforms into an orc to go undercover.
- Unusual Euphemism: GRONCH!
- Weapon of Choice: One-Eye uses a carpenter's hammer.
- Weird Currency: And how. "Chits" are...well...slices of petrified orc junk.
- What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?: The painstaking detail of the artwork, combined with the bizarre biological constructions and the prevalence of orange, pink and neon green, certainly gives off this impression.
- X Meets Y: Warhammer meets Tank Girl, or perhaps Lord of the Rings meets copious quantities of LSD.
- You Are Number Six: Orcs don't get proper names. Especially badass ones are assigned a number, which is engraved in a statue of them after their death. Everyone else just goes by their title or nickname.
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