Characters / True Capitalist

Herein lies a list of tropes for True Capitalist and its most dominant personalities, from Ghost himself to the trolls who make him rage.

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Ghost and Friends

It's John Conquest, King of Communism!

"I am your host, the man they call Ghost!"

The 'hero' of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, Ghost is a short tempered Texan pundit who has little patience for socialism, communism, fruitbowls, bronies, trolls and, well, a lot of things.

  • The Alcoholic: He denies it, but he has a LOT of cans around, calls for a drink after some rages, and frequently voices a desire to end the show and retire to a bar on Sixth Street.
  • Angrish: Early on, he would rage SO hard he couldn't even form coherent English, nor say anything else.
  • Asshole Victim: Thanks to his unpleasent, racist, homophobic, bullying nature. He deserves most of the abuse heaped on him.
  • Berserk Button: So, so many... just look at the main page!
  • Broken Record: Ghost tends to repeat his opinions about same topics for several shows. This is especially noticeable in his early 2016 broadcasts.
  • The Bully
  • Catchphrase: He has a lot of things he says, so much that it's better to look at the main page.
  • The Chew Toy
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Though he frequently badmouths conspiracy theories such as Alex Jones and David Icke , he himself frequently shows support towards several bizarre conspiracy theories such as the theory about faked moonlandings, fluoridated water being a government conspiracy and global warming being an attempt at creating global socialist state , yes you read that last one right
  • Cool Old Guy: Against all odds, he occasionally has his moments of this. Despite apparently being a short-fused, late middle-aged redneck, he seems to be surprisingly knowledgeable about modern pop culture (music, video games, etc.), and sometimes has a Pet the Dog moment.
  • Deep South: Even though he doesn't sound the most Texan ever.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: He claims to have taken up drinking and smoking regularly to make the pain of the current state of America go away.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": It's not yet known what his real name is. Apparently, it's Richard.
  • Everything Is Big in Texas: Seems to hail from the Lone Star State.
  • Gag Penis: Claims to have a "15 and a half inch John Holmes sausage"
    • Teeny Weenie: A common trolling tactic is to remove the "15 and a" part.
  • Genius Ditz: Ghost may be immature and obnoxious, but the first segment of his broadcast shows that he has at least a pretty good understanding of how the markets work.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Pushing one of his many Berserk Buttons can send him into an impressive rage almost immediately.
  • He's Back: Returned to the airwaves late in 2015, after a three-year absence.
  • Hidden Depths: Of all things he once showed interest towards poetry
  • Hot-Blooded: Sometimes he gets so worked up over whatever issue he's talking about that he sends himself into a rage without the assistance of trolls.
    • He did later claim in his 2012 farewell broadcast that while his reactions to the actual politics-related calls were legitimate, many of his other outbursts were Played for Laughs.
  • Hypocrite: Where do we even begin?
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Often drinks on air, usually after someone calls in with something nasty.
  • Ineffectual Death Threats: He's made MANY threats on the trolls, usually about 'punitive damages'. He hasn't taken action.
  • Internet Tough Guy: Whenever a troll makes fun of Texas, he never fails to tell them that they'd get their asses kicked if they said that while in the state. He also frequently claims that he's in the process of seeking punitive damages for their trolling. Naturally, nobody believes a word of it.
  • Jerkass: He isn't a very nice person, at all. It's somewhat justified that the trolls troll him. However, he shows rare signs of goodness towards certain people.
  • Naytheist: While he is critical of organized religion, he has acknowledged that he believes in a God or some sort of higher force.
  • One of the Kids: In spite of Ghost trying his best to sound like a responsible adult capitalist, he often comes across as just as immature as the teenagers who call into his show. Hell, sometimes he comes off as more immature than them due to his nonstop temper tantrums, childish name calling, and generalizations of whomever he doesn't like.
  • Pet the Dog: Got notably distraught when his dog managed to shock himself badly during a broadcast, and spent a sizable chunk of time after that comforting him and making sure he was going to be okay.
  • Rated M for Manly: Or so he believes....
  • Small Name, Big Ego: He believes that tens of thousands of people throughout the world listen to his show.
  • The Social Darwinist
  • Trademark Favorite Food: "GOD DAMNIT, I WANT MY SHRIMP BACK!"
  • Unstoppable Rage: He can REALLY flip out like never before, and most of the time, when he gets going, he can't stop.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: The only reason many listen to his show is to laugh at his antics and rage.
  • Verbal Tic: Notably more than his other catchphrases, he utters "fer Christ's sake" every other sentence.
    • Also the same with "man".
  • Victorious Loser: Celtic and the NCF may have ended TCR, but Ghost seems to be quite happy now that he found a way to get away from the show.
    "Show may be gone, but #Ghost lives on. Brace for the future!"
  • Vocal Evolution: His voice noticeably sounds clearer and less compressed in the 2015 update video, with a stronger Texan accent. Likely the result of recording with a new microphone.

    The Engineer
Artist rendering of The Engineer

"Aaaahraaaahyaaaah yaaaaaah!"

Ghost's loyal engineer, he's not exactly good at his job, not screening obvious troll calls and otherwise just screaming out mumbling garbage. However, he is very popular with the trolls.

  • A Day in the Limelight: He got one when Ghost finally got so mad he stormed out of the studio, giving the trolls a chance to interact with him.
  • Angrish: His first language.
  • Breakout Character: His takeovers of True Capitalist Radio, along with his humorous personality, have made Engineer a star among the trolls, many who tell Ghost Engineer needs to have his own show.
  • Dumb Muscle: Most impressions on him, given how many obvious trolls Ghost had to deal with thanks to him.
  • Heroic BSOD: Had one of these when during one of his takeovers when the Austin Vibrator called up and stayed on for several minutes. The Engineer ended up crying near the end of the call, and the troll actually felt remorse for what he had done afterwards.
  • Hidden Depths: Of an unpleasant variety. When Ghost told him to play a song to honor Herman Cain, whom Ghost had decided to support... Engineer broke out the theme from Boss Nigger for the first time.
  • Hostile Show Takeover: He's successfully taken over the show several times, playing songs that Ghost hates, such as Nyan Cat and First of Da Month.
  • Hypercompetent Sidekick: He's a much better host than Ghost is, at least. Fanon tends to slightly exaggerate this.
    • Much to Ghost's dismay, the trolls exaggerated it into the Engineer being the talent.
  • Mistaken for Racist: Invoked by Ghost: "Are you a racist, Engineer?"
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: The only intelligble English he seems able to speak is "Fuck you!"
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: His voice sounds suspiciously similar to Ghost's previous switchboard operator, known as "Paul the Liberal", from back during his time hosting the True Conservative Radio, with the most notable difference being that people could actually understand Paul.
  • Springtime for Ghostler
  • The Unintelligible: Though Ghost claims he speaks perfectly fine.
  • You No Take Candle: Engineer can actually put a few words of coherent English in between his garble.
    Mmmyeawasaawwrrr gaawwrrrr fuck you!

    Goofy Bone
Fuck fuck fuck.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"
Goofy Bone, most of the time

One of Ghost's only loyal supporters, until he got sick of him, Goofy_Bone also has his fair share of trolls hounding him, since his rather idiotic outbursts and laughable gangsta rap videos are easy material.


Formely one of the more loyal followers of ghost (Well not really) who used to listen to the show fairly frequently. There was a short lived Memetic Mutation where everyone kept calling him a tree. He was eventually forced out of the show in one of the many doxing incidents, that followed Troll War III.

  • Implausible Deniability: Pffft, he can say what he likes, everyone knows he's a tree.
  • The Mole: While he claims to be a serious caller, but a lot of evidence shows, that it's more likely that he's just a troll that's trying to get on Ghost's good side
  • Only Friend: Suspicious Tumbleweed
  • Ship Tease: There seemed to be something going on between him and Suspicious Tumbleweed for a long time

    Ghost's Granny
A pious woman who gave leftover food to their poor neighbors and never cursed in her life. Frequently brought up by trolls to annoy the crap out of Ghost.

    Karasz Kun 

A young fan of the show that Ghost has shown great affection for. Much to the dismay of the fans and trolls.

  • Ambiguous Disorder: He suffers from High Functioning Autism something that trolls where quick to start picking on.
  • Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: The "Ask KaraszKun" segment. Callers ask him questions.
  • Morality Pet: Ghost frequently showcases a lot of affection for him, despite believing that Autism and modern psychiatry are a bunch of pseudoscience used by people to get an easy way out of working life.
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Ghost frequently gives him way more airtime than most people think he deserves.
  • Sycophantic Servant: He agrees with just about everything that comes out of Ghost's mouth.

Ghost's faithful dog, and one of the few creatures he feels genuine empathy for. Prone to electrical problems.

  • The Chew Toy: Much like other members of Ghost's family, a large amount of trolls have involved making fun of Templeton or playing obscene audio splices involving him.
  • Made of Iron: Manages to shock himself badly mid-broadcast and survive.
  • Morality Pet: To Ghost, who is audibly distraught when he nearly shocks himself to death on broadcast.
  • Shout-Out: He is named after a character from Charlotte's Web.
  • Spanner in the Works: Managed to knock Ghost off the air for a substantial part of the broadcast during the aforementioned shocking.

    Teutonic Plauge 

A caller who frequently calls in following Ghost's 2016 return. His attitude, long and frequent calls, and tendency to agree with everything, that comes out of Ghost's mouth have managed to gather a lot of ire towards him from the trolls, becoming KaraszKun 2.0.

  • Et Tu, Brute?: On April 21, 2016, Teutonic Plague called in and directed a Texas wildfire joke at Ghost, pissing him off.
  • Sycophantic Servant: Much like KaraszKun he agrees with just about everything that ghost says. Because of this, trolls quickly started to refer to him with names such as Teutonic KaraszBurger and Teutonic Autism.

Radio Trolls

    Ghetto Capitalist/ 213
I'm Swipin my EBT baby
"Ghost baby what's going on?"

Ghost on the Ghetto Capitalist

The closest thing to an arch-nemesis for Ghost, Ghetto Capitalist is a capitalist who lives off his welfare checks, making money 'the ghetto way'. This, coupled with Ghost's extreme views on the welfare system, means whenever Ghetto Capitalist calls the show to tell Ghost about his latest capitalist achievement... Hilarity Ensues, baby.

Tropes related to the Ghetto Capitalist/213

    Spermy The Cat 
Ghost on Spermy the Cat

A caller from the early days of TCR, he'd employ soundboards of Ghost on the show.

    Tub Guy 

Ghost, reacting to Tubguy

A frequent caller, lauded by Ghost for allegedly listening to his show in a tub, and persistently begging for Ghost to get in with him. Oh my.

    The Aborted Fetus 

"Oh Ghost I love your big cock in my asshole!"

Ghost's reaction to the kid.

Young boy who is using some very troubling vocabulary his calls often brought up Ghosts longstanding hatred for single mothers who where neglecting their duties as parents. He was a frequent caller in early 2011, but has stopped calling ever since ghost threatened to call child protective services on him.


Intellectual British caller and Goofy Bones sworn enemy, who often gave the british point of view to subjects Ghost is talking about. Despite often having contradicting views with him, he has managed to earn ghosts respect and he is one of the few callers whom Ghost doesn't immediately cut out for opposing him. He has been on hiatus since late 2011.

*groan* What do you want, Ash-hole?

Ghost, reacting to Asho

Young Mexican caller whose mom spends most of her time in TGI Fridays Leaving him home for the rest of the day. Much like Aborted Fetus, his calls revolve around his Troubling Unchildlike Behavior and neglectful mother that irritates Ghost. He left the TCR community some time before the shows end in 2012 and once again returned in 2016, this time as an 19 year old college student.

  • Crack Pairing: (In-Universe) There was someone in the TCR chatroom for a couple shows named "Asho Banged Tub Guy"
  • Detractor Nickname: Ghost calls him Ash-hole.
  • Hes All Grown Up: He once again started calling into TCR beginning in 2016, now 19 years old Ghost could barely believe it really was the same Asho who used to call him all the time 4 years ago.
  • Parental Neglect: Whenever he calls, Ghost is sure to mention that the reason he's able to have Internet access and listen to the broadcast is because "his mother, probably some old vieja, is out at an Applebee's or TGI Friday's, looking to get the horizontal mambo from an Alabama black snake."
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis
  • So Proud of You: Ghost straight out admits he is proud of how Asho has grown up into an avid Trump supporter and Capitalist in 2016.
  • Token Minority: He's 'Mexican Justin Bieber' if you ask Ghost.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: He actually smoked weed while calling Ghost, and confirmed his mom was 'at Applebee's getting the high hard one'.
    • Yet another time he called Ghost while watching porn and drinking beer, and called again later in the same show while fapping.

    Equestrian Citizen 

(Supposedly) African American caller, gangsta and an devoted brony, an combination that Ghost has hard time understanding. Equestrian Citizen started calling Ghost around December 2011 blaming him for racism and homophobia. Despite their initial disagreements, they where eventually able to come to mutual understanding and Equestrian Citizen eventually earned brony of the year prize in 2011 Ghosties. He however eventually revealed to ghost, that he had actually been white all along, something that pretty much every listener except ghost had been able to figure out already.

  • Black Face: He actually turned out to have been an white male all along. Ghost was both amused and dissapointed to hear this in that he hoped for him to keep up the act for longer.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: It was pretty easy to hear from his calls, that he was using a voice modulator to sound like an African-American, despite this he did manage to fool ghost into believing that he was black.
  • Scary Black Man: Subverted
  • Stereotype Flip: He's a full blown gangsta, who loves watching My Little Pony during his free time with his homies. Ultimately subverted when it turned out he actually wasn't black


Frequent "Transtesticle" caller who often discusses subjects related to sexual minorities as well as her own sexuality usually much to Ghosts disgust.

    Suspicious Tumbleweed 

Canadian caller and an avid fan of Ghost and an mostly serious caller who has made a few troll calls.

Hey Ghost comrade
Fake Russian caller whose calls typically focus on Ghosts Russo-phobia and playing with Russian stereotypes. He didn't originally act like an Russian, but after ghost kept calling him an Russian, he just decided to go with it. He left the show after Troll War III in 2012

    Suck My Dick Guy 
A popular troll with a one-track mind.

  • Catch Phrase: SUCK MAH DICK!
  • "I Want" Song: Sometimes he will call in singing or rapping towards Ghost, only to suddenly interrupt the song with "SUCK MAH DICK!"
  • No Indoor Voice: At least when saying his Catch Phrase
  • Interrupting Meme: On one episode, he started off agreeing with Ghost on the topic, until suddenly asking "...why haven't you SUCKED MAH DICK!! SUCK MAH DICK!!! SUCK MAH DICK!!!"
  • The Other Darrin: There have been several new callers that have tried to imitate his act, mostly unsuccessfully. One in 2016 managed to trick Ghost into thinking he was the real one.

    Austin Vibrator 
(Sounds played by KneeSlappington)

Occasionally called up, playing playing a clip of a repeating "Oooooooooooo~" (Which was taken from a redub of a G.I. Joe PSA.)

  • My God, What Have I Done?: KneeSlappington showed this reaction in the Youtube comments in the episode where he makes the Engineer cry.
  • Sensory Abuse: Once continually raised the pitch higher and higher until it reached ear-splitting sharpness. Ghost yelled at him after that.

    The Internet Buttstalker 
"That son of a bitch called here every goddamn day... FOR TWO YEARS!"
Ghost, after the Internet Buttstalker's most recent call.

A former frequent caller who spoke in a very effeminate voice while making highly suggestive (or outright pornographic) requests.

  • Abhorrent Admirer: While Ghost hates his guts, TIB would like nothing more then to get into his pants.
  • Affectionate Nickname: Calls Ghost "baby buns"
  • All Love Is Unrequited: More like all lust.
  • Camp Gay
  • Put on a Bus: After October 3's episode, he only appeared twice afterward: January 9's episode and February 13's episode. He was put back on the bus afterward.
  • Stalker with a Crush: Assuming his advances at Ghost were genuine and not just trolling. He is called the "Internet Buttstalker" for a reason, after all.

    The 'Ban All Bronies' Cult/Btown 
Ban all bronies. Ban all bronies. Ban all bronies. Ban all bronies.

  • Enemy Mine: Ghost actually sided with the bronies over the Cult.
    • Ghost later on lamented the absense of the Cult, actually wanting them to return when the bronies got out of control later on.
    Ghost: ""Where's the "Ban All Bronies... Ban All Bronies..." guy when you need him?"
  • Freudian Threat: Castrate bronies. Castrate bronies. Castrate bronies.
  • Hive Mind: Apparently.
  • Madness Mantra: Naturally.

    Celtic Brony
Ghost, reacting to CelticBrony's "Ghost's Father is Dead" splice.

CelticBrony is a recurring troll who has made many notable splices. Though he was previously quite popular with the TCR community, his Chronic Backstabbing Disorder and penchant for rather misguided moral crusades has made him into a rather divisive figure.

  • Anti-Villain: Arguably. He was pretty justified in a lot of the things he did to Ghost, but he didn't stand a chance once he actually made Ghost leave and angered the collective Capitalist Army and Ghetto Capitalist Army by taking away their lulz.
  • Arch-Enemy: Became one to ghost since Troll War III
  • Bullying a Dragon: He picked a fight with Ghost and lost.
  • Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: To the point where no one's really sure if he's even a brony anymore or not, or if he ever was.
    • The story is pretty hard to untangle, but it seems that CelticBrony was originally just a run of the mill brony until he had his dox (private details) stolen and published by the "Niggest Crook Force", an anti-brony group that somehow manages to put themselves forward as the rightful owners of pony-related Youtube videos and have them taken down via copyright infringement claims and then steals the private information when the brony sends a counter claim (which must include their private details.) CelticBrony explained all this later although claimed this was all a ruse on his part, presumably in the hope the people would believe the dox were fake and wouldn't send pizzas to his home. After the dox were first put up the NCF agreed to take the dox down in exchange for joining them and becoming an anti-brony himself although after receiving "brony of the year" from Ghost he apolgized to all bronies, switched back to being a brony and the NCF publicized his dox once again and so did Ghost even going so far as claiming he would harass CelticBrony's family on his show. Got all that?
    • And seeing how every brony has turned on him to make sure Ghost didn't leave (which nobody believed he would anyway) some might say CelticBrony is a victim of this himself.
  • Face–Heel Turn: Multiple times, as detailed above.
    • The people who damned CelticBrony after the doxing incident seemed to have moved slowly back to supporting him after Ghost had them under his spell for a short period of time.
  • Heteronormative Crusader
  • Kick the Dog: He tried to dox the ever-likable Ghetto Capitalist.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Or so he claims....
  • Pass the Popcorn: The fandom's reaction to his reveal.
  • Toilet Humor: Celtic was the creator of the "GroupPoop" meme. One splice claimed that Celtic was Ghost's "group poop buddy"
  • Wild Card

    Basement Dweller/"Shut Up Mom" Guy 
Basement Dweller

"*A-hack-hack-cough* HEY GHOST IT'S EDNA"

Middle aged woman whose calls typically consist of something disgusting she has done recently

  • Autocannibalism: One call had Edna describe how she solved her sunburnt skin-peeling problem and lack of grated parmesean for her pasta at the same time.
  • Smoking Is Not Cool: Cigarettes have destroyed much of Edna's lungs.
  • Squick: (In-Universe) Edna tells Ghost to suck smoke out of the hole in her neck. Ghost throws up.

    Capitalist Mao/Second Harvest Guy 
"Johnnie Walker, second harvest. Ohhhh, yeaaaaahhh!"
Capitalist Mao

A troll filled with piss and fury. After several miscellaneous calls, he developed his niche; calling Ghost to tell him about the Johnnie Walker he's drinking... which he had previously ingested.

  • Artifact Title: He's frequently known as the "second harvest" guy. Each subsequent call incremented in number.
  • Drink Order: Johnnie Walker that's been passed through his own urinary tract.
  • Mad Libs Catch Phrase: "Johnnie Walker, _____ harvest. Ohhh, yeaaaaahhh!"
  • Serial Escalation: Third harvest, fourth harvest, fifth harvest...
    • By 2016 his going on his 577th harvest
    • He also changed things up by drinking Bernie Sanders harvest. As if drinking his own urine wasn't gross enough.
  • Squick: (In-Universe) Every call from him incites this reaction from Ghost.
  • Vulgar Humor: What else can you say about a guy who keeps drinking his own piss? Again and again?

Twitter & Youtube Trolls

    Senator John C. Pooptickler
He will track you down.note 

A devoted member of the senate and longtime supporter of True Capitalist Radio, Senator Pooptickler barely survived an assassination attempt at the hands of the Niggest Crook Force. He's best described as Tub Guy meets John McCain.

    Prankster Pinkie Pie 

Celtic Brony's right-hand man. Serves basically the same role for him as the Senator does for Ghost.

    Navy Huskie 

One of the earliest TCR trolls and creator of many now-classic splices. One of the few trolls pretty widely liked by everybody, even Ghost.

  • Closer to Earth: He's the most normal person on True Capitalist Radio. This may seem odd until you consider the fact that this is a show featuring a perverted eight-year-old, a flamboyant man who spends his life in his bathtub, a foul-mouthed wannabe rapper, and whatever the hell Tri$ha is.
  • Detractor Nickname: Navy SanHuskie and Navy Fatass Huskie. Or Navy Fatass SanHuskie.
  • Friendly Enemy: At least until he pissed Ghost off one too many times.
  • Nice Guy

    Dark Razor Z 

The most prominent of the video uploaders on Youtube. His original upload of the June 17th 2011 show exposed many people to trolling Ghost. He also started the Facebook fan page "Melting Pot of Friendship"

  • Promoted Fanboy: Originally just a fan of the show, now he's the reason Ghost is as popular as he is now. Ghost personally thanked him for this on his twitter before ending his show.

    Coodoo 17
Ghost: Who the hell is Coodoo?!
Coodoo: I'm your worst nightmare.

One of the most successful splicers and remixers in the late 2012 era of True Capitalist Radio along with Shut Up Mom and Fat Marshall. Occasionally calls in as Kermit the Frog.

    The NCF (Niggest Crook Force)

A group recognized for attacks against the Furry Fandom, bronies—CelticBrony in particular—and the True Capitalist community.

Tropes related to the NCF

Ghost's Alter Egos and "Special Guests"

    Alter Egos and "Special Guests" in general 
"Mmmmbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh."
"Goats," one of Ghost's fan-given alter egos

Nothing enrages Ghost more than hearing splices of himself saying things he never would. Naturally, his fans set about splicing together clips of his voice to create various characters with which to troll him.

Tropes related to Ghost's alter egos...

    Adolf Ghostler
I wanna hear what you have to say about it, 6466524869... HOLD ON WHAT THE HELL IS... ADOLF GHOSTLER, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, WHO IS THIS!?

In 2012 when Ghost was once searching callers from his swichboard he stumbled upon caller by the name of "Adolf Ghostler" who played a splice of Ghost randomly spouting german words ending with Sieg Heil. Hilarity Ensued and ever since then Ghost has been infested with Ghostler related trolls.