Characters / True Capitalist

Herein lies a list of tropes for True Capitalist and its most dominant personalities, from Ghost himself to the trolls who make him rage.

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Ghost, Family, and Staff

"I am your host, the man they call Ghost."
The sole host of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast and "Prognosticator of Prognosticators", Ghost is a short-tempered Texan pundit who has little patience for socialism, communism, liberalism, fruitbowls, bronies, trolls and, well, a lot of things.
  • The Alcoholic: He denies it, but he has a LOT of cans around, calls for a drink after some rages, and frequently voices a desire to end the show and retire to a bar on Sixth Street.
  • Ambiguously Jewish: Though he furiously denies being a Jew, he does occasionally show traits that are commonly attributed to Jews. He REALLY seems to have a problem with christmas, loves to complain and argue and seems to have at least some understanding of Yiddish. It also helps that the K-word is one of the very few ethnic slurs that he refuses to use deeming it antisemitic and he insists that he uses Yarmulkes for coffee filters, even though he constantly complains how much he hates coffee and its users. One time, a Freudian slip lead to him saying "I wear yarmulkes for coffee filters", which only perpetuated this.
  • Angrish: Early on, he would rage SO hard he couldn't even form coherent English, nor say anything else.
  • Asshole Victim: Ghost almost always earns the mockery he receives, but even when he doesn't it's hard to feel bad for him.
  • Armored Closet Gay: One can only speculate on why Ghost throws out accusations of homosexuality as often as he does. That's to say nothing of how much he's speculated about the sex life of Barack and Michelle Obama (who Ghost claims is secretly a man for dubious reasons).
  • Bad Boss: He frequently abuses Engineer during the broadcast and often threatens to fire him for menial things such as him selling more autographs than Ghost.
  • Believing Their Own Lies: Rather than picking what he believes in based on evidence or facts, Ghost tends to just believe in whatever suits his political agenda best no matter how insane it sounds. This combined with his general refusal to engage in rational arguments makes it almost impossible to convince him that he is wrong about something.
  • Berserk Button: So, so many... just look at the main page! But without a doubt his biggest one is the mocking of the Vietnam War, either because he supposedly served in the war himself and/or he has an extreme respect for veterans.
  • Brain Bleach:
    • Hearing about the MaskedPony situation caused him to vomit for about 15 minutes.
    • Seeing a Ghost body pillow gave him a similar reaction during Episode 352.
    • The Leslie Jones nude photos caused a similar reaction, especially when trolls tweeted it at him constantly and made a body pillow out of it.
  • Boisterous Weakling: Constantly makes bombastic threats towards the trolls and has yet to make good on any of them.
  • Broken Record: Ghost has a tendency to repeat the same lines over and over in each episode, even when he's getting emotional. See Catch Phrase on the main page.
  • The Bully: Ghost is very forceful with his opinions and will mostly loudly shout down anyone who challenges him on the air, even if they're sincerely expressing their views and aren't trolls.
  • Catchphrase: He has a lot of things he says, so much that it's better to look at the main page.
  • The Chew Toy: Even when he's not being humiliated on-air he tends to run into trouble, such as the alleged "Double Dip Incident".
  • Cluster F-Bomb: For a short time after June 7th, 2016, probably due to the devastating Masked Pony incident, nearly all of Ghost's sentences were this, illustrating just how bitter and angry he was over the Masked Pony Incident.
  • Conspiracy Theorist:
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Some of the things he says are bizarre and downright idiotic, like when he spent literal hours ranting about how anime is bringing about the downfall of society.
    • The Cuckoolander Was Right: However, his theories do sometimes turn out to be right, such as his beliefs about the rise of ISIS in 2012, two years before the actual event.
  • Cool Old Guy: Against all odds, he occasionally has his moments of this. Despite being an arrogant old redneck, he seems to be surprisingly knowledgeable about modern pop culture (music, video games, etc.), and sometimes has a Pet the Dog moment.
  • Dark and Troubled Past:
    • Allegedly served in Vietnam and is loath to talk about the specifics of it.
    • Ghost's intense dislike of certain topics (such as Christmas and his familial relations) doesn't suggest anything good about his history with them.
  • Deep South: Even though he doesn't sound the most Texan ever.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: He claims to have taken up drinking and smoking regularly to make the pain of the current state of America go away.
  • Disproportionate Retribution:
    • If you piss Ghost off enough or just happen to be of a political orientation he disagrees with, he may go off on a profane, vitriolic rant about how much he despises you. If he's in an especially bad mood, he may try to sic his capitalist army on you or even reveal your phone number to all the listeners.
    • He also threatened to fire Engineer if the Engineer postcards sold more than the Ghost postcards.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: Around September 2016, Ghost began freaking out over all the people praising Engineer over him. He got goaded into selling the Engineer's autograph as well, with further freaking out at the possibility that Engie's signature would outsell his.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: He went through a lot of hardships and drama since his 2016 return, but ultimately achieved his goal of getting Donald Trump elected as president in what he considered to be the most important election in American history.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep" / No Name Given: Even after 9 years of internet fame, nobody has figured out his true name; the one and only alias this man has ever possessed is "Ghost".
  • Everything Is Big in Texas: Ghost, a native Texan, says as much.
  • Fat Bastard: Though he denies being a hambone, Ghost can't possibly be in good health if he really does eat a stick of butter every day in addition to having a drinking problem and anger-management issues.
  • Faux Affably Evil: Can be surprisingly amiable towards people who agree with him, although this tends to make his sudden shifts into extreme anger more jarring.
  • Forgiveness: For all his many flaws, Ghost has frequently shown that he is a forgiving person. Good examples of this being how he was able to forgive Xarahox, CelticBrony, KaraszKun and G.
  • Gag Penis: Claims to have a "15-and-a-half-inch John Holmes sausage".
    • Teeny Weenie: A common trolling tactic is to remove the "15-and-a" part.
  • Genius Ditz: Ghost may be immature, obnoxious, and not nearly as knowledgeable as he claims, but the first segment of his broadcast shows that he has a very good understanding of how the markets work.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: According to himself, Ghost has started and won numerous fist fights in 6th Street and is capable of beating up any professional wrestler in a fist fight. Considering his personality though, Ghost probably exaggerates his stories a bit. Though considering that he may have fought in Vietnam, there's possibly at least some truth to Ghost's claims about his own badassery.
  • Greed: One of the few traits of his he's proud of (he's a true capitalist, after all). However he admitted that his "quest for maintaining more and more wealth got the best of [him]" when he made the mistake of moving to San Antonio.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Pushing one of his many Berserk Buttons can send him into an impressive show of rage almost immediately.
  • He's Back: Returned to the airwaves late in 2015, after a three-year absence.
  • Hidden Depths:
  • Hot-Blooded: Sometimes he gets so worked up over whatever issue he's talking about that he sends himself into a rage without the assistance of trolls. He did later claim in his 2012 farewell broadcast that while his reactions to the actual politics-related calls were legitimate, many of his other outbursts were Played for Laughs.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Ghost has strong opinions on a variety of subjects he doesn't understand particularly well, including but not limited to: science, history, politics, medicine, nutrition, and the way the government functions. However, he does have a decent grasp on economics and popular culture.
  • Hypocrite: Ghost frequently fails to live up the standards he holds other people to and goes against the values he purports to believe in. See the entry on the main page for more details.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Often drinks on air, usually after someone calls in with something nasty.
  • Ineffectual Death Threats: He's made MANY threats to the trolls, usually either about him beating them up or him filing a slander lawsuit ("Punitive damages!"). In either case, he hasn't taken action.
  • Internet Tough Guy: Whenever a troll makes fun of Texas, he never fails to tell them that they'd get their asses kicked if they said that while in the state. He also frequently claims that he's in the process of seeking punitive damages for their trolling. Naturally, nobody believes a word of it.
  • It's All About Me: Ghost frequently posits himself as being a wise capitalist with fans "throughout the world" and becomes positively livid whenever anyone suggests otherwise. Needless to say, his constant self-fawning is completely unwarranted given how he actually conducts himself on the show.
  • Jerkass: A vain, vindictive, crude, surly, short-tempered, condescending, unintelligent, and hypocritical knock-off of Alex Jones. That's not to say he doesn't have his endearing moments though.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Although he claims that he treats the Engineer well, Ghost is constantly yelling foul-mouthed abuse at him over the slightest transgressions. Ghost frequently curses at the Engineer even when he hasn't done anything wrong, presumably just so he can take his anger out on somebody. He also made the Inner Circle Short Bus so he could hurl abuse at any Inner Circle member he puts in it for not being like him.
  • Manchild: While Ghost is apparently a successful businessman with a family and grandchildren, his on-air antics show that he's wildly ill-tempered and extremely immature.
  • Mask of Sanity: A gossamer-thin one that doesn't even stay on most of the time. Although Ghost attempts to maintain a self-image of being an intelligent and mature market guru, it takes very little for him to completely fly off the handle and become hysterically angry. Even when he's not flipping out, his demented conspiracy theories and extreme paranoia don't say anything positive about his mental health.
  • Men Don't Cry: Has broken down into angry whimpering before, but claims it was just because he poked his eye.
  • The Munchausen: Ghost often likes to make wild claims such as having to sleep only four hours a day to feel fully energized, being a Badass who frequently starts and wins barfights on 6th Street, and being a skilled hacker and programmer who has doxed countless people and created his own operating system called Penix.
  • Naytheist: While he is critical of organized religion, he has acknowledged that he believes in a God or some sort of higher force.
  • Never My Fault: He accidentally drops his expensive award on his 500th episode, scuffing it, and immediately shifts the blame to the trolls in a fiery rage. Happened again when he busted his $250 belt while pretending to whip trolls' asses, and again when his own yelling caused Templeton to cry.
  • The Nicknamer: He likes to coin demeaning nicknames for a variety of things he has varying levels of disdain for. Highlights include Hillary Rotten Clinton, Canadia, Bernie Prostate-Infected Sanders, Navy Fatass Huskie, Cinco de Mayonnaise, Hispandex, and Britannia to name a few.
  • One of the Kids: In spite of Ghost trying his best to sound like a responsible adult capitalist, he often comes across as just as immature as the teenagers who call into his show. Hell, sometimes he comes off as more immature than them due to his nonstop temper tantrums, childish name calling, and generalizations of people he doesn't like.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
  • Open Secret: TCR is at least partially an act. People still find him very entertaining and keep calling in to troll him anyways.
  • Papa Wolf: While Ghost is protective of his family in general, he is especially protective towards his granddaughter and if the trolls start targeting her, he drops his usual exaggerated raging and begins talking back at the trolls with a serious tone, often hoping that they burn in hell and in the worst cases giving out their phone number so that everyone listening can prank call them.
    • This applies to children in general as of late, as trolls about pedophilia have led to Ghost wanting them doxed off the internet.
  • The Paranoiac: Ghost frequently displays all seven criteria of this, especially since 2016. He claims that during his four year hiatus he was monitored by US and several foreign governments and had started to see ice cream trucks in the middle of the winter in front of his house. After his return he has become genuinely afraid that he will be killed off by an international conspiracy and even said that his wife will continue his work with The Capitalist Army if "something happens to him", and in one episode after discussing the possibility of Hillary Clinton's medical episode being an assassination attempt, he frequently checked the window, presumably to see if he was being watched. When the real John Conquest passed away, he quickly blamed the FBI due to trolls prank-calling them with his voice and the name John Conquest (it's more likely he passed from natural causes). He often claims to see and hear choppers over his house now, asking listeners at random intervals if they "hear the chopper". Not to mention how he believes he sees drones over his house when he's smoking in the backyard.
  • Pet the Dog: He was notably distraught when his dog managed to shock himself badly during a broadcast, and spent a sizable chunk of time after that comforting him and making sure he was going to be okay. Templeton in particular seems to be a soft spot for him, even when he misbehaves.
  • Pride: Humility is not one of his virtues, exaggerating his influence on the internet and assuming himself as an intelligent, alluring figure. The reason why he's so reluctant to sell signatures of the Engineer is because he couldn't handle his own assistant being more beloved than himself.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Ghost uses some rather boorish language to describe gays, ethnic minorities, women, and anyone else he finds disagreeable. He generally seems to be under the impression that the only qualification for being a bigot is usage of the N-word on black people and usage of the K-word on Jews, and any other slur is fair game.
  • Rated M for Manly: Claims he participates in bar fights for exercise and that his fists are certified illegal weapons.
  • Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: Spent $250 on a belt, a piece of leather, and then ruined it pretending to whip the trolls with it.
  • Science Is Bad:
    • Many of Ghost's conspiracy theories show that he has a strong dislike of science. He frequently expresses hostility towards NASA, HAARP, the field of astronomy, and Stephen Hawking.
    • This anti-intellectual mindset towards science might also explain why Ghost's knowledge of nutrition is appallingly bad, with him claiming that copious amounts of butter is good for his heart.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: Supposedly served in Vietnam. During his May 29th surprise Sunday stream, someone made a splice with him in Vietnam, causing him to really lose it and go on about how he can see someone called "Charlie"note . That day, Ghost's behavior wasn't just rage. It was genuine disturbance. He insists, however, that he doesn't have PSTD, as he can "handle" his past traumas.
  • Smug Snake: Ghost is extremely arrogant and is often openly contemptuous of his listeners.
  • Sir Swears Alot: As of June 7th, 2016, Ghost is this tenfold. Originally, he only said tame swears like "damn" or "hell", and only used more vulgar swears like "shit" or "fuck" when he was absolutely fuming. But now, almost every single one of his sentences are Cluster F-Bomb's, and he's started saying "faggot" instead of "fruitbowl". This sudden irritation is likely caused by the Masked Pony incident.
    • Also is like this during his Paltalk sessions, where pretty much every other word out of his mouth is some variant of "fuck", "faggot", "pussy", or "shit", when he's calm.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: While Ghost has something of a cult following on the internet, he exaggerates his fame by constantly claiming that tens of thousands of people throughout the world tune into his show.
  • The Social Darwinist: Ghost often encourages people such as Basement Dwellers and welfare frauds to commit suicide, because they aren't contributing to society in any way and thus their existence isn't needed and is a hindrance to the rest of society.
  • Trademark Favorite Food:
    • "Johnnie Walker, Blue Label, oh yeeeeaah!"
    • Butter as well, if his enthusiasm over its alleged health benefits is anything to go by. Comparisons to Paula Deen have been made.
  • Unstoppable Rage: He can REALLY flip out like never before, and most of the time, when he gets going, he can't stop. He can have nonstop rages that last over half an hour.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Ghost is a huge asshole, but his antics and rage are entertaining to listen to.
  • Vague Age: Ghost was once thought to be middle-aged, but if his claims of serving in the Vietnam War are true, he's at least pushing 60. Depending on how much of TCR is an act, and considering how much 80s/90s pop culture he knows, he may well be younger than either of those projections.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Seems to undergo one at least once every few episodes.
  • Verbal Tic:
    • Notably more than his other catchphrases, he utters "fer Christ's sake" every other sentence when he's exasperated.
    • Also the same with "man".
  • Victorious Loser: After the cancellation of the show's original run. Celtic and the NCF may have ended TCR, but Ghost seems to be quite happy now that he found a way to get away from the show.
    "Show may be gone, but #Ghost lives on. Brace for the future!"
  • Vocal Evolution: His voice noticeably sounds clearer and less compressed in the 2015 update video, with a stronger Texan accent. Likely the result of recording without Blog Talk Radio's compression and a new mic.
  • You're Just Jealous: Whenever trolls keep harassing him, he never forgets to point out that 1. he's making more money than the trolls ever will 2. Trolls are calling him a tinfoil hat wearer only because he's much smarter than they are and they're jealous because they can't come up with smart conspiracy theories like he does 3. he has much more personality than the trolls ever will.
    • Insulting the Inner Circle will probably lead to Ghost saying this.

    The Engineer
"Goddamn it Engineer, you're supposed to be screenin' these calls, fer Christ's sake!"

"Aaaahraaaahyaaaah yaaaaaah!"

Ghost's loyal engineer, though he's not exactly good at his job. He fails to screen obvious troll calls and otherwise just mumbles incomprehensibly. However, he is very popular with the trolls.
  • A Day in the Limelight: He got one when Ghost finally got so mad he stormed out of the studio and left the microphone unattended, giving the trolls a chance to interact with him.
  • Alter Ego Acting: It's an open secret that there is no Engineer, it's just Ghost doing the voice. But nobody says it, and everyone plays along.
  • Angrish: His first language.
  • Breakout Character: His takeovers of True Capitalist Radio, along with his humorous personality, have made Engineer a star among the trolls, many who tell Ghost Engineer needs to have his own show. Or Ghost's show.
  • Catch Phrase: "Yes, sir", at least by virtue of being one of the only comprehensible things he says on a consistent basis.
  • Dumb Muscle: Most impressions on him, given how many obvious trolls Ghost has to deal with thanks to him.
  • Elective Unintelligible: Most of his dialogue is incomprehensible mumbling, but he has been heard clearly saying "Yes, sir" - and "Fuck you!" - on multiple occasions. Some of his dialogue during the 2011 New Year's Eve Ghosties Award Show ("And the winner is...") is also comprehensible.
  • Heroic B.S.O.D.: Had one of these during one of his takeovers when KneeSlappington called up and played the Austin Vibrator sound for several minutes. The Engineer ended up crying near the end of the call, and KneeSlappington actually felt remorse for what he had done afterwards.
  • Hidden Depths: Of an unpleasant variety. When Ghost told him to play a song to honor Herman Cain, whom Ghost had decided to support... Engineer broke out the theme from Boss Nigger for the first time.
  • His Name Really Is "Barkeep": He signs his autographs as "Engin Ear".
  • Hostile Show Takeover: He's successfully taken over the show several times, playing songs that Ghost hates, such as Nyan Cat and First of Da Month.
  • Hypercompetent Sidekick:
    • He's a much better host than Ghost is, at least. Fanon tends to slightly exaggerate this.
    • Much to Ghost's dismay, the trolls exaggerated it into the Engineer being the talent.
  • Intelligible Unintelligible: Ghost can understand the Engineer just fine. When needed, he'll sometimes repeat or explain Engineer's dialogue for our benefit.
  • Kayfabe: There's a strong chance that "the Engineer" is just Ghost leaning away from the microphone and doing a weird mumble, which is supported by the fact that they never seem to speak at the same time, but nobody really wants to know one way or the other.
  • Mistaken for Racist: Invoked by Ghost: "Are you a racist, Engineer?"
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: The only intelligible English he seems able to speak (other than "yes sir") is "Fuck you!"
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: His voice sounds suspiciously similar to Ghost's previous switchboard operator, known as "Paul the Liberal", from back during his time hosting the True Conservative Radio, with the most notable difference being that people could actually understand Paul.
  • Springtime for Ghostler: Assuming that the Engineer is just a persona used by Ghost and that his "takeovers" are just Ghost punishing the trolls, the fact that the Engineer is better-liked as a host than Ghost himself could be considered this.
  • Smarter Than You Look: Despite his unfortunate near-inability to speak and his incompetence at his duties, he shows occasional moments of intelligence that you would find unlikely to come from him.
  • Ultimate Job Security: Despite being woefully incompetent in his moderating duties, taking over the show serval times without permission, and Ghost frequently threatening to fire him, he has somehow managed to hold on to his job.
  • The Unintelligible: Though Ghost claims he speaks perfectly fine.
  • You No Take Candle: Engineer can actually say a few words of coherent English amidst his garble.
    Mmmyeawasaawwrrr gaawwrrrr fuck you!

    Ghost's Wife 

Ghost's faithful (or not so faithful) wife and the owner of Templeton.
  • Brawn Hilda: Trolls like to make her out to be one of these.
  • The Cameo: She can be heard briefly talking when Ghost goes to check on what she is cooking for Christmas in the Christmas Special. Also heard in the Inner Circle chat sessions briefly and quietly.
  • Cuckold: Trolls often accuse Ghost of giving his wife for other people to have sex with for his own pleasure, which Ghost always furiously denies.
  • The Ghost: No Pun Intended. Other than her cameo in the Christmas Special and few appearences in chatroom sessions with Ghost, she hasn't made an appearance in the show, though she is mentioned fairly often.
  • Happily Married: Most of Ghost's comments towards her indicate that they live in a healthy, if traditional, marriage.
  • Housewife: Ghost loves to remind everyone that his wife "knows her place".

    Ghost's Granny
A pious woman who gave leftover food to their poor neighbors and never cursed in her life. Frequently brought up by trolls to annoy the crap out of Ghost.


Ghost's sister-in-law he mentions from time to time, usually when discussing Christmas. Caroline comes to visit Ghost every Christmas along with the rest of Ghost's extended family and brings with her a terrible-smelling fruitcake.
  • Lethal Chef: Her fruitcake is so pungent that it stinks up his whole condo.
  • Obnoxious In-Laws: Ghost makes it very clear that he absolutely hates Caroline and that she is one of the main reasons he hates Christmas so much.
  • Ship Tease: Trolls were quick to ship Caroline with Ghost and the episodes following the first mention of her by Ghost saw trolls make twitter names romancing Caroline and Ghost as well as playing the OutKast song Roses, a love song devoted to a woman named Caroline.

You're a shameless dog!
Ghost's wife's faithful dog, and one of the few creatures he feels genuine empathy for. Prone to electrical problems.
  • The Chew Toy: Much like other members of Ghost's family, a large amount of trolls have involved making fun of Templeton or playing obscene audio splices involving him.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Ghost isn't feeding him a treat fast enough? Bite his hand.
  • Et Tu, Brute?: He bites Ghost's hand during the August 18th, 2016 show. This was not too long after Ghost had said Templeton was one of his only friends.
  • Hurricane of Puns: Subject to a "shocking" amount of these, naturally.
  • Made of Iron: Managed to shock himself badly mid-broadcast and survive.
  • The Mole: People on /pol/ started to wonder if Tempelton was a Democratic National Committee spy after an incident during Episode 377 where Tempelton (once again) began chewing on Ghost's hand. After reading these these comments, Ghost asked Templeton if he was a DNC spy, only for Templeton to ignore him completely making Ghost even more suspicious of him
  • Morality Pet: To Ghost, who is audibly distraught when he nearly shocks himself to death on broadcast.
  • Road Apples: He took a dump on Ghost's white carpet right before Radio Graffiti during episode 415 much to his dismay. trolls noted that this was an early Christmas gift by Templeton.
  • Shout-Out: He is named after a character from Charlotte's Web.
  • Spanner in the Works:
    • Managed to knock Ghost off the air for a substantial part of the broadcast during the aforementioned shocking.
    • He once more managed managed to force Ghost off the air in November 4th, when he started crying on air until Ghost gave him a dog biscuit.
  • Spoiled Brat: Ghost feels that his wife has been spoiling Templeton too much.

    "Special Guests" 
Ghost has a roster of special guest callers who show up occasionally; in reality, they're simply heavily-stereotyped vocal impressions he'll perform to simulate a caller from a region such as China or India.

Tropes pertaining to the "special guest" callers.

  • Asian Speekee Engrish: Mr. Fortune Cookie's primary language.
  • Dirty Communists: Mr. Fortune Cookie "calls in" to sing the praises of China's communist party whenever Ghost insults it.
  • Dirty Old Man: Uncle Bernie really wants people to sit on his apple.
  • The Fundamentalist: Mahmoud constantly demands Americans to pay their taxes, so that he can enact sharia law in Libya.
  • Jive Turkey: Tyrone, up in this motherfucka.
  • The Mafia: Ghost's newest special guest, Fat Tuna is an stereotypical Italian-American gangster who gives gambling advice.
  • National Stereotypes: About half of the guests are these, while the other half are various ethnic stereotypes.
  • Not Helping Your Case: No Ghost, doing a bunch of blatantly racist impersonations of various national and ethnic groups isn't going to stop people from calling you a racist.
  • Rain Dance: Ghost supposedly learned this from Chief Slapahoe
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Mr. Fortune Cookie punctuates nearly every sentence with "mathafacka".
  • South of the Border: Paco is the combination of pretty much every Mexican stereotype Ghost could think of.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Mahmoud was originally just a regular fighter in Libyan Civil War, however after the war he joined ISIS and rose to the rank of lieutenant commander.
  • The Unintelligible: The Guru's chanting.

    Ghost's Alter Egos
"Mmmmbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, mmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh."
"Goats," one of Ghost's fan-given alter egos

Nothing enrages Ghost more than hearing splices of himself saying things he never would. Naturally, his fans set about splicing together clips of his voice to create various characters with which to troll him.

Ghost's Allied Callers and Short Bus Members

    Goofy Bone
Fuck fuck fuck.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"
Goofy_Bone, most of the time

One of Ghost's only loyal supporters, until he got sick of him, Goofy_Bone also has his fair share of trolls hounding him, since his rather idiotic outbursts and laughable gangsta rap videos are easy material.
  • Butt Monkey: Even after branching off to make his own show he could not escape this fate.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Curses all the time, as his quote can attest.
  • Defector from Decadence: Ghost was an asshole to him too, so Goofy_Bone turned tail on him.
  • Jerkass: Moreso he's just an obnoxious prick, not a violent-tempered jerk like Ghost.
  • Put on a Bus: He hasn't called the show very often since people started trolling HIS radio show, and his flame war with Tzeki.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red to Tzeki's blue.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: He believes he's a great rapper, for one.
  • Token Minority: He's Mexican, and as such is one of the two callers (the other being Asho) referred to as 'Bean and Cheese' by Ghost.


Formerly one of the more loyal followers of Ghost (well, not really) who used to listen to the show fairly frequently. There was a short lived Memetic Mutation where everyone kept calling him a tree. He was eventually forced out of the show in one of the many doxxing incidents that followed Troll War III.
  • Implausible Deniability: Pffft, he can say what he likes, everyone knows he's a tree.
  • The Mole: He claims to be a serious caller, but a lot of evidence shows that it's more likely that he's just a troll that's trying to get on Ghost's good side.
  • Only Friend: Suspicious Tumbleweed.
  • Put on a Bus: Acknowledged Ghost's return, but hasn't called in nor communicated with anyone in the community.
  • Ship Tease: There seemed to be something going on between him and Suspicious Tumbleweed for a long time.

    Suspicious Tumbleweed 

Canadian caller and an avid fan of Ghost, and a mostly serious caller who has made a few troll calls.
  • A-Cup Angst: While we never hear her response to the Twitter name "Tumble_Flat_Chest", Ghost gets pissed off on her behalf.
  • Animesque: Resembles "a badass Advent Children ani-mee character", as described by Ghost in episode 189. Appropriately, Tumbleweed is a cosplayer.
  • Canada, Eh?: From Canada.
  • Ill Girl: She suffers from hemophilia.
  • Put on a Bus: Acknowledged Ghost's return in late 2015, but hasn't called in or talked about it since.
  • Ship Tease: With Gasgara.
  • Wolverine Publicity: She's crossed over with multiple trolls, most hilariously Asho.

    Karasz Kun 

A young fan of the show that Ghost shows great affection for since 2012. Much to the dismay of the fans and trolls, any time KaraszKun called in or was given an Ask KaraszKun segment the show would grind to a halt and become a lot less interesting.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: He suffers from High Functioning Autism, something that trolls were quick to start picking on (Despite many of them being openly autistic themselves).
  • Et Tu, Brute?: On the October 6th, 2016 broadcast, a tweet revealed that KaraszKun was drawing hentai. Needless to say, Ghost did not take it well AT ALL.
    • During the November 17, 2016 broadcast, he completely went along with all the people wanting Ghost's wife's autograph, stating that he too wanted her autograph (along with an autograph by Ghost's grandmother), knowing perfectly well how much Ghost is upset by it. Needless to say, Ghost did not take his betrayal well.
  • Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: The "Ask KaraszKun" segment. Callers ask him questions.
  • Heroic B.S.O.D.:
    • He had a serious meltdown after hearing about the YouTube Demonetization act and even threatened to kill himself during the show, forcing Ghost to break his character as Mr. Optimism.
    • After the October 6th, 2016 episode, he took to Twitter in complete denial over the fact that Ghost kicked him off the show when he was revealed to be drawing pornography. He then called again when Engineer took over on October 7th, only for Ghost to come back on and kick him off in disgust.
  • Morality Pet: Ghost frequently showcased a lot of affection for him, despite believing that autism and modern psychiatry are a bunch of pseudoscience used by people to get an easy way out of working life. This affection ended temporarily when his hentai art got revealed to Ghost.
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Ghost frequently gave him way more airtime than most people think he deserved.
  • Sycophantic Servant: He agrees with just about everything that comes out of Ghost's mouth.
  • Turn the Other Cheek: Ghost forgave him for the above-mentioned hentai incident, to the further dismay of fans and trolls.

    Teutonic Plague
A caller who frequently calls in following Ghost's 2016 return. His attitude, long and frequent calls, and tendency to agree with everything that comes out of Ghost's mouth have managed to gather a lot of ire towards him from the trolls. As of October 28 2016, Teutonic Plague was banned from the show after his controversial statements on animal abuse. He then cemented being banned by admitting to being a Brony after all this time.
  • Et Tu, Brute?:
    • On April 21, 2016, Teutonic Plague called in and directed a Texas wildfire joke at Ghost, pissing him off.
    • Taken Up to Eleven on October 3rd, 2016, when Teutonic Plague joined others in the Inner Circle in endorsing the Engineer in the True Capitalist Radio Civil War.
    • Taken even further when after a fierce campaign to have Teutonic Plague banned over animal abuse comments, during Teutonic's goodbye, he admitted to Ghost he's a Brony, sending Ghost into a spiral of rage.
  • Hot-Blooded: He tends to get extremely angry during his calls, often directing his rage towards liberals and wishing to see them dead, something that even Ghost objects to.
  • Kick the Dog: As noted above, he got extremely angry about Templeton biting Ghost's hand, and stated several times during the broadcast that if a pet ever did that to him, he would kill the dog without hesitation. Plague's demented ranting alienated him from the rest of the inner-circle (although they had never liked him that much to begin with) and even managed to disturb Ghost.
  • Lesser of Two Evils: As much as he is hated by the community, he is still considered a better alternative to G.
  • The Mole: He has claimed since the betrayal that his brown nosing was all just an act and that he was just a troll in disguise all along. Wether this is actually true or just a case of Parody Retcon is still up to debate though.
  • Put on a Bus: Permanently banned from the show after a campaign from various fans of the show to have him banned.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: He had initially a much more calm demanor, but after gaining the hatred of trolls and supposedly getting his account hacked he became much more aggresive and loud.
  • Sycophantic Servant: Much like KaraszKun he agrees with just about everything that Ghost says. Because of this, trolls quickly started to refer to him with names such as Teutonic KaraszBurger and Teutonic Autism.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Besides being similar to KaraszKun, Plague has been compared to Goofy Bone as they are both loud, obnoxious blowhards who suck up to Ghost to an embarrassing degree.

    Masked Pony
A young fan with a speech impediment who got some recognition and special treatment by Ghost as of the 2016 broadcast reboot, in the same vein as KaraszKun. This ended when his fetish got revealed to Ghost by the man himself.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: Managed to turn himself into one of these towards Ghost after he revealed his fetish to him. Ghost, who had previously defended him against insults, instantly turned on him and thraw quite a huge hissyfit of insults at him.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Nobody knows what disorder he has, but MaskedPony himself has mentioned neurofibromatosis.
  • Elmuh Fudd Syndwome: He tends to talk like this.
  • Et Tu, Brute?: Ghost did not take the revelation of him writing My Little Pony diaper fanfiction well at all.
  • He's Back: Returned to troll Ghost in an intro splice with Twilie Atkins.
  • Hidden Depths: Ghost really didn't take well to finding out about MaskedPony's diaper fetish that he wrote into his My Little Pony fanfictions.
  • Humiliation Conga: Not only was his fetish revealed to everyone, he was pretty much completely humiliated in the broadcast by Ghost.
    • Still ongoing, with Ghost mocking him nearly every week.
  • Morality Pet: To Ghost, who gave him a similar treatment to KaraszKun until his fetish got revealed.
  • Orwellian Editor: Right after learning that trolls knew about his fan fics, he quickly deleted all his works in FiMFiction, but the trolls saw this coming and had already archived his work.
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Like KaraszKun and Teutonic Plague before him, he tended to get needless amounts of attention from Ghost.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Considering the general behavior of TCR fandom, it's a really bad idea to announce everyone during the show that you are writing fan-fiction, especially considering its content. It didn't take too long after the show for the trolls to find his FiMFiction account and his works.

Another brown-noser who started calling the show with Ghost's 2016 return. G quickly became even more hated than Teutonic Plague among the trolls because of his repeated calls and a lack of personality (something that Teutonic has at the very least) that would normally have Ghost throw him off the air if it were any other caller. His relationship with Ghost has been rocky, getting banned and un-banned from the show following various incidents. He is currently banned from the show after an incident where he faked a suicide message on Twitter and according to Ghost he is going to stay banned until he is able to "mature up". G once again made his return during Episode 417 after Ghost stated that all the bad blood between them was in the past
  • Et Tu, Brute?: G confirming he liked anime and was a Tub Guy ripoff. To say that Ghost was unhappy with G after this would be putting it lightly. Cranked up to 11 when G lied about threatening to kill himself.
  • Implausible Deniability: Bordering on Believing Their Own Lies, he kept claiming that the entire suicide hoax was caused by a typo even though Tub Guy had overwhelming evidence to the contrary, causing many of the people still willing to hear him out to turn on him.
  • Didn't See That Coming: Much to everyone's surprise, he managed to cause cans.wav and even made Ghost Rage Quit the show by mentioning the Double Dipping Incident to him during the show in a neutral light.
  • Driven to Suicide: Subverted. G faked threats of suicide after Ghost banned him from the show. Something Ghost himself found sickening.
  • High Functioning Autism: G confirmed in the first Ghost Inner Circle session that he has autism when discussing the possibility of vote rigging in the 2016 presidential elections.
  • Put on a Bus: Twice, first after the Undertale fiasco, second after his suicide hoax, he returned after both fiascos though.
  • Spotlight-Stealing Squad: He could call as many as three times per show during Radio Graffiti, using up as much as 20 minutes of on-air time.
  • Ridiculously Average Guy: G is a very bland person.

    Raiden Snake 

Radio Graffiti Troll Characters

    Ghetto Capitalist/ 213
I'm swipin my EBT baby!
"Ghost baby what's going on?"

Ghost on the Ghetto Capitalist

The closest thing to an arch-nemesis for Ghost, Ghetto Capitalist is a capitalist who lives off his welfare checks, making money 'the ghetto way'. This, coupled with Ghost's extreme views on the welfare system, means whenever Ghetto Capitalist calls the show to tell Ghost about his latest capitalist achievement... Hilarity Ensues, baby.

Tropes related to the Ghetto Capitalist/213

    Tub Guy 

Ghost, reacting to Tub Guy

A frequent caller, disparaged by Ghost for allegedly listening to his show in a bathtub, and persistently begging for Ghost to get in with him. Oh my. He has now quit the character after community drama with Elfoxoloco as well as his disillusionment with George Takei.
  • Anything That Moves: Men, women, "trans-testicles", even horses!
  • Breakout Character: He's since gone on to troll other BTR shows, and even briefly hosted his own.
  • Catch Phrase:
    • "Oh my."
    • "It will be totally legit"
  • Earth-Shattering Kaboom: According to his call on February 9, 2012, he's hiding from this in his bunker with Alex Jones.
  • Everyone Has Standards: While he is quite... well, promiscuous, even he was disturbed by the brony he had as a roommate in college (Granted, this particular call was simply JWLuke787 calling in as himself, rather than in-character as Tub Guy, so Tub Guy's own opinion on the brony is ambiguous).
  • Killed Off for Real: Following a drama between him and Elfoxoloco, Tub Guy announced his character was no more, and returned to his previous username of Darth Hoodie.
    • While this incident certainly contributed to his decision, it was not the main reason for him throwing down the character. Hoodie has stated that he quit the character because he was so disgusted with George Takei's statements defending pedophilia that he couldn't bring himself do another Takei impression ever again. He has since then described Tub Guy's catch phrase as "forever tainted".
  • No Ending: Will he ever get out of the tub? We'll never know.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: With Ghetto Capitalist being absent from Radio Graffiti after Ghost's return, Tub Guy has practically taken his place Ghost's number-one enemy. He was replaced by African Booty Scratcher after his own retirement.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: He uses an upper class accent and often speaks formally ( "A distinct possibility, my good sir."), but he also uses vulgar terms such as Hell and penis.
  • Sure, Let's Go with That: The troll behind Tub Guy revealed that he was supposed to be George Takei (hence the "Oh my"), but Ghost thought he was calling from the tub, so he went with that.

    The Aborted Fetus 

"Oh Ghost I love your big cock in my asshole!"

Ghost's reaction to the kid.

Young boy who is using some very troubling vocabulary. His calls often brought up Ghost's longstanding hatred for single mothers who were neglecting their duties as parents. He was a frequent caller in early 2011, but has stopped calling ever since Ghost threatened to call Child Protective Services on him.


Intellectual British caller and Goofy_Bone's sworn enemy, who often gave the British point of view to subjects Ghost is talking about. Despite often having contradicting views with him, he has managed to earn Ghost's respect and he is one of the few callers whom Ghost doesn't immediately cut out for opposing him. He has been on hiatus since late 2011.
  • Evil Brit: Goofy_Bone seems to think he's this and a Worthy Opponent.
  • Enemy Mine: He was initially not very popular with trolls, however his frequent bashing and fights with Goofy_Bone eventually earned him their respect.
  • Put on a Bus: He hasn't called in a while, probably because he dosen't want to get doxxed.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue to Goofy's Red.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: With Goofy_Bone. Their clashes are quite famous.
  • The Smart Guy: He has a habit of sounding intellectual and often dismissing Goofy_Bone's views. Ghost loves it when he does this.
  • Worthy Opponent: Goofy_Bone sees him as this, but the respect is not mutual.

*groan* What do you want, Ash-hole?

Ghost, reacting to Asho

Young Mexican caller whose mom spends most of her time in TGI Fridays, leaving him home alone for the rest of the day. Much like Aborted Fetus, his calls revolve around his Troubling Unchildlike Behavior and neglectful mother, which irritates Ghost. He left the TCR community some time before the shows ended in 2012 and once again returned in 2016, this time as a 19-year-old college student.
  • Crack Pairing: (In-Universe) There was someone in the TCR chatroom for a couple shows named "Asho Banged Tub Guy".
  • Et Tu, Brute?: After months of Asho being a serious caller and Ghost warming up to him, going so far to say he was proud of him for growing up, Asho began calling in advocating for people to start bootlegging Ghost's autograph, much to his anger.
  • Kid Hero All Grown-Up: He once again started calling into TCR beginning in 2016, now 19 years old. Ghost could barely believe it really was the same Asho who used to call him all the time 4 years ago (Mainly because Ghost believed Asho was 8 years old back then, not 14/15).
  • Heel–Face Turn: He eventually became a serious caller and stopped trolling Ghost.
    • Face–Heel Turn: Inevitably returned to trolling Ghost by bootlegging his autograph.
  • Malicious Misnaming: Ghost calls him Ash-hole.
  • Morality Pet: Interestingly, Asho has managed to become one for Ghost in the rebooted broadcast, with Ghost reacting to people insulting him similarily to how he reacted to people insulting KaraszKun before his hiatus.
  • Parental Neglect: Whenever he calls, Ghost is sure to mention that the reason he's able to have internet access and listen to the broadcast is because "his mother, probably some old vieja, is out at an Applebee's or TGI Fridays, looking to get the horizontal mambo from an Alabama black snake."
  • Shoddy Knockoff Product: Ever since Ghost started selling official merchandise, Asho's made a trolling career out of talking about bootlegging the products.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Ghost, naturally.
  • So Proud of You: Ghost straight out admits he is proud of how Asho has grown up into an avid Trump supporter and capitalist in 2016.
  • Token Minority: He's a 'Mexican Justin Bieber' if you ask Ghost.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behavior:
    • He actually smoked weed while calling Ghost, and confirmed his mom was 'at Applebee's getting the high hard one'.
    • Yet another time he called Ghost while watching porn and drinking beer, and called again later in the same show while fapping.

    Equestrian Citizen 

(Supposedly) African American caller, gangsta, and a devoted brony, a combination that Ghost has a hard time understanding. Equestrian Citizen started calling Ghost around December 2011, accusing him of racism and homophobia. Despite their initial disagreements, they were eventually able to come to mutual understanding and Equestrian Citizen eventually earned the "Brony of the Year" prize in the 2011 Ghosties. He eventually revealed to Ghost that he had actually been white all along, something that pretty much every listener except Ghost had been able to figure out already.
  • Black Face: He actually turned out to have been a white male all along. Ghost was both amused and dissapointed to hear this, suggesting he should have kept up the act for longer.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: It was pretty easy to hear from his calls that he was using a voice modulator to lower the pitch of his calls, though he did manage to fool Ghost into believing that he was black.
  • Scary Black Man: Subverted.
  • Stereotype Flip: He's a full blown gangsta, who loves watching My Little Pony during his free time with his homies. Ultimately subverted when it turned out he actually wasn't black.


Frequent "Transtesticle" caller who often discusses subjects related to sexual minorities as well as her own sexuality, usually much to Ghost's disgust.

Hey, Ghost, comrade!
Fake Russian caller whose calls typically focus on Ghost's Russo-phobia and playing with Russian stereotypes. He didn't originally act like a Russian, but after Ghost kept calling him one he just decided to go with it. He left the show after Troll War III in 2012.
  • Fake Russian: Ghost mistook him for Russian, so he rolled with it.
  • Glorious Mother Russia: Nikolai milks this for all its worth, agitating Ghost.
  • Mistaken Identity:
    "Ghost": "Ah Jesus Christ, is this Nikolai?!"
    FBI operator: "Um, no sir, this is the FBI in Mobile, Alabama."
  • Put on a Bus: Hasn't called in since January 2012, most likely due to the numerous doxxing incidents.
  • Sure, Let's Go with That: He started to act Russian when Ghost kept misinterpreting his accent and getting pissed just because he was a "cockeyed vodka-drinking Russian".

    Suck My Dick Guy 

A popular troll with a one-track mind.
  • Catch Phrase: "SUCK MAH DICK!"
  • "I Want" Song: Sometimes he will call in singing or rapping towards Ghost, only to suddenly interrupt the song with "SUCK MAH DICK!"
  • Master of Disguise: He eventually managed to turn his simple premise into an art, calling in as a normal person or as other trolls and successfully fooling Ghost, only to then revert to yelling in Ghost's ear.
  • Motor Mouth: When he isn't belting his catch phrase out, he can talk surprisingly fast (presumably to get to his catch phrase faster).
  • No Indoor Voice: At least when saying his Catch Phrase.
  • Interrupting Meme: On one episode, he started off agreeing with Ghost on the topic, until suddenly asking "...why haven't you SUCKED MAH DICK!! SUCK MAH DICK!!! SUCK MAH DICK!!!"
  • The Other Darrin: There have been several new callers that have tried to imitate his act, mostly unsuccessfully. One in 2016 managed to trick Ghost into thinking he was the real one.

    Austin Vibrator/KneeSlappington 


"There's that damn vibrator again!"
Ghost's patience wearing thin.

Occasionally called up, playing playing a clip of a repeating "OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo" (Which was taken from a redub of a G.I. Joe PSA.)
  • My God, What Have I Done?: KneeSlappington showed this reaction in the Youtube comments in the episode where he makes the Engineer cry.
  • Sensory Abuse: Once continually raised the pitch higher and higher until it reached ear-splitting sharpness. Ghost yelled at him after that.

    The Internet Buttstalker 
"That son of a bitch called here every goddamn day... FOR TWO YEARS!"
Ghost, after the Internet Buttstalker's most recent call.

A frequent caller from back in the old days who spoke in a very effeminate voice while making highly suggestive (or outright pornographic) requests of Ghost.
  • Abhorrent Admirer: While Ghost hates his guts, TIB would like nothing more then to get into his pants.
  • Affectionate Nickname: Calls Ghost "baby buns".
  • All Love Is Unrequited: More like all lust.
  • Camp Gay: Plays this up as much as possible to agitate Ghost's homophobia.
  • He's Back: Assisted Tubguy in a splice on January 18th, 2017.
  • Put on a Bus: Disappeared after February 13, 2012.
  • The Bus Came Back: Came out of retirement to troll Ghost in a collab splice with Tub Guy and Germit the Gay Frog.
  • Stalker with a Crush: Assuming his advances at Ghost were genuine and not just trolling. He is called the "Internet Buttstalker" for a reason, after all.
  • Stock Audio Clip: Trolls have occasionally called in since the Return using recycled audio clips of him. Ghost often falls for these.

    The 'Ban All Bronies' Cult/Btown 

Ban all bronies. Ban all bronies. Ban all bronies. Ban all bronies.

  • Enemy Mine: Ghost actually sided with the bronies over the Cult, finding it creepy.
    • Ghost later on lamented the absense of the Cult, actually wanting them to return when the bronies got out of control later on.
    Ghost: ""Where's the "Ban All Bronies... Ban All Bronies..." guy when you need him?"
  • Freudian Threat: Castrate bronies. Castrate bronies. Castrate bronies.
  • Hive Mind: Apparently.
  • Madness Mantra: Naturally.

    Celtic Brony
Ghost, reacting to CelticBrony's "Ghost's Father is Dead" splice.

CelticBrony is a recurring troll who has made many notable splices. Though he was previously quite popular with the TCR community, his Chronic Backstabbing Disorder and penchant for rather misguided moral crusades has made him into a rather divisive figure.
  • Anti-Villain: Arguably. He was pretty justified in a lot of the things he did to Ghost, but he didn't stand a chance once he actually made Ghost leave and angered the collective Capitalist Army and Ghetto Capitalist Army by taking away their lulz.
  • Arch-Enemy: Became one to Ghost since Troll War III.
  • Bullying a Dragon: He picked a fight with Ghost and lost.
  • Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: To the point where no one's really sure if he's even a brony anymore or not, or if he ever was.
    • The story is pretty hard to untangle, but it seems that CelticBrony was originally just a run of the mill brony until he had his dox (private details) stolen and published by the "Niggest Crook Force", an anti-brony group that somehow manages to put themselves forward as the rightful owners of pony-related Youtube videos and have them taken down via copyright infringement claims and then steals the private information when the brony sends a counter claim (which must include their private details.) CelticBrony explained all this later although claimed this was all a ruse on his part, presumably in the hope the people would believe the dox were fake and wouldn't send pizzas to his home. After the dox were first put up the NCF agreed to take the dox down in exchange for joining them and becoming an anti-brony himself although after receiving "brony of the year" from Ghost he apolgized to all bronies, switched back to being a brony and the NCF publicized his dox once again and so did Ghost even going so far as claiming he would harass CelticBrony's family on his show. Got all that?
    • And seeing how every brony has turned on him to make sure Ghost didn't leave (which nobody believed he would anyway) some might say CelticBrony is a victim of this himself.
  • Face–Heel Turn: Multiple times, as detailed above.
    • The people who damned CelticBrony after the doxing incident seemed to have moved slowly back to supporting him after Ghost had them under his spell for a short period of time.
    • He's been spotted lurking around the TCR Tinychat, but hasn't come to troll Ghost. Ghost has also admitted he's an Inner Circle member, and all is forgiven between the two of them.
  • Heteronormative Crusader
  • Kick the Dog: He tried to dox the ever-likable Ghetto Capitalist.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Or so he claims....
  • Pass the Popcorn: The fandom's reaction to his reveal.
  • Toilet Humor: Celtic was the creator of the "GroupPoop" meme. One splice claimed that Celtic was Ghost's "group poop buddy"
  • Wild Card

    Basement Dweller/"Shut Up Mom" Guy 
Basement Dweller

"*A-hack-hack-cough* HEY GHOST IT'S EDNA"

Middle aged woman whose calls typically consist of something disgusting she has done recently.
  • Autocannibalism: One call had Edna describe how she solved her sunburnt skin-peeling problem and lack of grated parmesean for her pasta at the same time.
  • Smoking Is Not Cool: Cigarettes have destroyed much of Edna's lungs.
  • Squick: (In-Universe) Edna tells Ghost to suck smoke out of the hole in her neck. Ghost throws up.
  • The Bus Came Back: Called in for the first time in nearly 5 years in January 2017.

    Capitalist Mao/Second Harvest Guy 
"Johnnie Walker, second harvest. Ohhhh, yeaaaaahhh!"
Capitalist Mao

A troll filled with piss and vinegar. After several miscellaneous calls, he developed his niche; calling Ghost to tell him about the Johnnie Walker he's drinking... which he had previously ingested.
  • Artifact Title: He's frequently known as the "second harvest" guy. Each subsequent call incremented in number.
  • Drink Order: Johnnie Walker that's been passed through his own urinary tract.
  • Mad Libs Catch Phrase: "Johnnie Walker, _____ harvest. Ohhh, yeaaaaahhh!"
  • Serial Escalation:
    • Third harvest, fourth harvest, fifth harvest...
    • By 2016 his going on his 577th harvest
    • He also changed things up by drinking Bernie Sanders harvest. As if drinking his own urine wasn't gross enough.
  • Squick: (In-Universe) Every call from him incites this reaction from Ghost.
  • Vulgar Humor: What else can you say about a guy who keeps drinking his own piss? Again and again?

    Kermit The Frog 

Yes, THAT Kermit the Frog. (Voiced by Coodoo17)
  • Characterization Marches On: Earlier Kermit calls sound very different from older ones as they didn't usually involve the various sexually depraved acts that the later calls had. These two incarnations are so different, that they are often considered separate characters from each other called "Kermit The Frog" and "Germit The Gay Frog"
  • Depraved Bisexual: Although he usually introduces himself as "Kermit the gay frog" and makes colorful sexual propositions to Ghost, he's also mentioned involving Miss Piggy and Ghost's wife in his depravity.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Kermit first showed up to troll Ghost during the pre-revival era, calling up Ghost exactly once in 2012 to mock Ghost's hatred of bronies. After Ghost came back in 2016 however, Kermit has become a regular member of the rogues gallery.
  • Expy: Of the Internet Buttstalker, although with a Muppets flavor.
  • Zany Scheme: Frequently proposes these to Ghost. When they're not sexually explicit in nature, they usually involve something similarly demented that's intended to get under his skin, like his plan to buy Austin and convert it into a city-wide water park.

    African Booty Scratcher
A thickly-accented troll who apparently hails from Africa and one of the few new characters to originate from the 2016 era of TCR. He started out by chain calling Ghost with an audio clip of him reading an erotic Anne Frank Fan Fiction but since evolved into his own eccentric character.

Radio Graffiti Audio Splicers

    Spermy The Cat 
Ghost on Spermy the Cat

A caller from the early days of TCR, he'd employ soundboards of Ghost on the show.
  • Breakout Character: Though not as much as the Internet Buttstalker or 213.
  • Phrase Catcher: "Kick Spermy's ass outta here, Engineer! Kick him out!" Note that Spermy doesn't even have to do anything anymore. His mere presence in the Twitter Shout-Outs is enough to evoke this from Ghost.
  • Put on a Bus: Hasn't called in for nearly a year.
    • He's Back: While he doesn't call in anymore, he's frequently showed up in the Twitter Shout-Outs since 2016, getting "kicked out" every time.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis

    Navy Huskie
One of the earliest TCR trolls and creator of many now-classic splices. One of the few trolls pretty widely liked by everybody. Even Ghost held respect for him, until he pissed him off one too many times.
  • Closer to Earth: He's the most normal person on True Capitalist Radio. This may seem odd until you consider the fact that this is a show featuring a perverted eight-year-old, a flamboyant man who spends his life in his bathtub, a foul-mouthed wannabe rapper, and whatever the hell Tri$ha is.
  • Friendly Enemy: At least until he pissed Ghost off one too many times.
  • Nice Guy
  • Malicious Misnaming: Once he got on Ghost's bad side, he was frequently referred to by him as Navy SanHuskie and Navy Fatass Huskie. Or Navy Fatass SanHuskie.
  • Put on a Bus: Hasn't called or made any splices since Ghost came back.

Ghost: Who the hell is Coodoo?!
Coodoo: I'm your worst nightmare.

One of the most successful splicers and remixers in the late 2012 era of True Capitalist Radio along with Shut Up Mom and FatMarshall. Occasionally calls in as Kermit the Frog.
  • Breakout Character: Quickly cemented himself as one of the most talented audio splicers in the show's history.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: Well, from Ghost's perspective anyway. Coodoo started out as just another "Fruitbowl" that would sometimes manage to piss Ghost off and sometimes just manage to merely annoy him. But by the end of the show, he had eventually became one of Ghost's biggest troll rivals, even managing to get the last call on the show and causing a megastorm of cans.wav from Ghost {Part of which was from his "KaraszKun Burgers" video that someone had played on TCR eariler}.
  • One-Hit Kill: Some of Coodoo17's splices were so infuriating to Ghost that they'd incite a Rage Quit without any significant prior buildup toward one.
  • Put on a Bus: Hasn't called in since roughly June.
    • The Bus Came Back: Was spotted during Twitter shoutouts in January 2017, and apparently called in, albeit uncredited.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Ghost dreads seeing Coodoo's name.
  • Stupid Statement Dance Mix: Does this when he's not singing.
  • "The Villain Sucks" Song: He did his own rendition of the Grinch song from How the Grinch Stole Christmas!.

    Boat 073 

A troll who has risen to prominence since 2016 for his ability to splice Ghost extremely quickly with music and sound effects, leading to often hilarious responses from Ghost.
  • Driven to Suicide: Almost happened over Twitter, much to Ghost and the Inner Circle's concern.
  • Friendly Enemy: Despite his "Musical Blasphemy", Ghost respects Boat for being an upstanding capitalist and member of the Ghost Inner Circle.
  • Worthy Opponent: Ghost sincerely believes Boat has a future in audio engineering with how talented his splices are.

    Yorkshire Capitalist/Benito Ghostini
A troll who has operated since 2016, known primarily for his high-quality splices and remixes. Among other things he is responsible for making the first Vietnam splice, sending numerous photoshops to Ghost during the show, creating Ghostler Youth T-Shirts, and starting the week of betrayals that took place in October 2016, by releasing the first video of members of the Inner Circle endorsing the Engineer.

Twitter & Youtube Trolls

    Senator John C. Pooptickler
He will track you down.note 

A devoted member of the senate and longtime supporter of True Capitalist Radio, Senator Pooptickler barely survived an assassination attempt at the hands of the Niggest Crook Force. He's best described as Tub Guy meets John McCain.

    Prankster Pinkie Pie 

Celtic Brony's right-hand man. Serves basically the same role for him as the Senator does for Ghost.
  • Dragon Their Feet: Has occasionally shown up in the Twitter Shout-Outs in 2016, despite Celtic Brony's absence.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: He was basically collateral damage during the Celtic Brony/Ghost feud.
  • He's Back: Has started making splices and interacting with Ghost over Twitter again.
  • The Imp: Served as this to Celtic Brony.

    Dark Razor Z 

The most prominent of the video uploaders on Youtube. His original upload of the June 17th 2011 show exposed many people to trolling Ghost. He also started the Facebook fan page "Melting Pot of Friendship".
  • Promoted Fanboy: Originally just a fan of the show, now he's the reason Ghost is as popular as he is now. Ghost personally thanked him for this on his Twitter account before ending his show, and thanked him again during his 500th episode speech.
  • Put on a Bus: He's currently serving with the US Navy in Okinawa and thus is unable to upload videos, although he occasionally sends out tweets relating to the show.

    The NCF (Niggest Crook Force)

A group recognized for attacks against the Furry Fandom, bronies—CelticBrony in particular—and the True Capitalist community.

The second most prominent of the video uploaders as well as an occasional troll. Unlike DarkRazorZ, his videos used to cover all of Radio Graffiti rather than just the good bits. With Ghost's return in 2016, Elfoxo took up the position as the community's main uploader as well as becoming the moderator of OG Capitalist Army chatroom.
  • Berserk Button: Saying anything positive about bronies in the OG Capitalist Army chatroom is an almost surefire way to get a ban from him. Has since expanded to brony comments in the comment section of his videos, and even brony calls themselves are edited out now.
  • Et Tu, Brute?: Ghost didn't take him talking shit behind his back in the Inner Circle chatroom very well, and promptly kicked him out.
  • Take Up My Sword: He took the position as the community's main video uploader after DarkRazorZ left to serve with the US Navy.

    Tison Rockit