The Ugly BarnacleHe was so ugly that everyone died.
- Antagonist Title: If you interpret the Barnacle as a villain or a Villain Protagonist.
- Brown Note
- Butt Monkey: Presumably.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Sure, he may be unattractive but he ends up killing everyone.
- Eldritch Abomination: Possibly.
- Enemy to All Living Things: Very much so, because of his ugliness.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Everyone Calls Him Ugly Barnacle.
- Flat Character: Though he's still the most developed character in the story, he has no other known characteristics besides being ugly. We don't even learn his real name.
- Gonk: An example of a Deconstructed Trope.
- The Grotesque
- The Hero Dies: Possibly, assuming he's The Hero, although it's not clear if he dies along with everyone else.
- Hero Killer: Assuming he's not The Hero.
- Hope Bringer: Painfully subverted.
- No Name Given: He is simply known as "the barnacle" or "the ugly barnacle".
- Person of Mass Destruction
- Sliding Scale of Beauty: Lovecraftian
- Walking Spoiler: Knowing too much about this character gives away the twist that he kills everyone.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: A literal example, knowing the ending of the story.
EveryoneThey were killed by the Barnacle in the end.
- Anyone Can Die: Everyone does.
- Driven to Suicide: One theory on how they all died.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: You didn't expect all of them to die, did you?
- No Name Given: They do have names, but you can't expect Patrick to name all 7 billion of us. Maybe more, if "everyone" applies to more than just those of us who live on Earth.
- Normal People: Most of them, presumably.
- Kill 'em All
- Killed Off for Real: Or are they?
- Walking Spoiler: It's hard to bring them up without bringing up their death.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: They all die the exact moment they are introduced in the story, so it's hard to feel sorry for them.
Patrick StarThe Narrator of the story.
- It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: Telling Spongebob the story.
- Nightmare Fetishist
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant
- Slasher Smile
- Gonk: Believes himself to be this. He just needs a breath check first.
- Heroic B.S.O.D.
- Hope Spot: When Spongebob first heard the opening lines, he was expecting a story that would cheer him up. Sadly, the story went in the opposite direction.
- You Need a Breath Mint