[[caption-width-right:350:The man, the myth, the legend.]]
-> Played by Creator/TommyWiseau

--> ''"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"''

* AllLovingHero: Johnny pays Denny's tuition and rent, lavishes his girlfriend with gifts, brings in lots of clients to his bank, and just cares so much about everybody. Everyone praises Johnny, even those who betray him.
--> "He's a ''wonderful'' person!"
* {{Angrish}}: During his AngerMontage, Johnny screams like this.
* AteHisGun: Shoots himself in despair after he locks himself in the titular room and trashes the place.
* AuthorAvatar: And painfully obvious at that.
* BettyAndVeronica: The Betty to Mark's Veronica for Lisa's Archie
* {{Catchphrase}}:
** Oh hai, X.
** That's the idea!
** "Don't worry about that/it." Says this to things people would typically worry about, with variations.
* ColdHam: Thanks to Wiseau's horrible acting. Even when Johnny is screaming and going over the top, he sounds bored with his dialogue.
* DrivenToSuicide: Johnny kills himself because Lisa has been horrible to him but is still relying on him for cash, whilst cheating on him with his best friend. He finds all this out on his BIRTHDAY!
* DullSurprise: "I did not hit her, it's not true. It's bullshit, I did not hit her! I did NAAAGHT... Oh hi, Mark."
%%* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Melancholic.
* ExtremeDoormat: Despite knowing Lisa is cheating on him and is spreading false rumors that he is abusive towards her, Johnny refuses to confront her on her lies and infidelity. Likewise, he also refuses to confront Mark despite suspecting him of being the one sleeping with Lisa. It takes the two of them getting intimate right in front of him for him to take action, and even then it's Lisa who ends their relationship.
* EyesAlwaysShut: His eyes are usually halfway closed for whatever reason.
* FlowersOfRomance: He buys roses for Lisa so much he's the flower shop's favourite customer.
* TheHero: Or at least, this is what Wiseau conceived of him being.
* HongKongDub: A lot of his lines obviously don't match up with his mouth movements.
* TheHyena: "Ts-Hahahahahahahahaha."
* InformedAbility: Johnny is supposed to be an excellent banker, despite his limited English and vampiric appearance.
* LargeHam: Somehow manages to overlap this with DullSurprise.
* LooksLikeCesare: Black hair, and an appearance that suggests he doesn't go outside much.
* NiceGuy: He apparently buys Lisa a dozen red roses every time they make love, or at least often enough to be the flower shop lady's favorite customer, and would do anything for Lisa. He pays for Denny's college and tuition without asking for anything in return, and is incredibly nice to all his friends and seems to only want to make Lisa happy. From an objective point of view, there's really no logical reason for Lisa to cheat on him, or hate him the way she does. That said, he does have some kinks to his character, like laughing at domestic abuse.
* ParentalSubstitute: To Denny, a neighboring high school student whom Johnny financially supports and "loves like a son".
* TheTeetotaler: The exception being the [[GargleBlaster Scotchka]] scene.
* TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth: "I'm fed up with this '''WARULD'''!"
* TookALevelInJerkass: Towards the end of the movie, starting with the fight between him and Mark as he discovers that Lisa is cheating on him during his birthday party.
* UnstoppableRage: The scene where Lisa leaves him, causing him to go into a rage and trash his entire apartment, including mustering the strength to throw a massive CRT television (those things are heavy!) straight out the window.[[note]][[Podcast/RiffTrax as though it were a hollow prop of some sort!]][[/note]]
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: Especially funny since it's Tommy Wiseau's natural accent.[[note]]A journalist investigating his mysterious past came up with a hypothesis that Wiseau grew up in Poland which is at the very least ''plausible''.[[/note]]
* YouNoTakeCandle: Slips into this at times, most notably "Everybody betray me! I fed up with this world!"

[[caption-width-right:350:''"I don't want to talk about it."'']]
-> Played by Juliette Danielle

* BeautyIsBad: She's as pretty as she is reprehensible.
* BigBad: Drives the plot by TEARING JOHNNY APART!
* BitchInSheepsClothing: She seems nice, at first. Then we find out that she's cheating on her loving [[InsistentTerminology future spouse]] because she's ''bored'' with him.
* BrainlessBeauty: Her schemes aren't very well thought out.
* {{Catchphrase}}:
** "I don't want to talk about it"
** "Don't worry about it."
* CharacterShilling: Many characters will stop whatever momentum the movie has in order to talk about how great Lisa is.
* TheChick: Right down to being in a LoveTriangle with TheHero and TheLancer.
* {{Determinator}}: Juliette Danielle is, at least. Knowing all the abuse, degradation, and humiliation she endured while making the film, it's truly amazing that she got through it at all.
* DisproportionateRetribution: She's cheating on Johnny because ''she thinks he's boring''.
* DudeMagnet: Besides Johnny and Mark, even Denny was secretly in love with her.
* DumbBlonde: In a way. Most notably not caring about the fact that if she continues cheating, she's going to destroy Johnny, despite Steven's serious words to her.
* ForTheEvulz: Lisa is originally just interested in Johnny's cash, but after a while she starts to flaunt her affair with Mark, and lies to Johnny about being pregnant just to "make things interesting".
%%* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Choleric.
* FreudianExcuse: her mother has divorced several times (including Lisa's father), implying that Lisa grew up in a dysfunctional household. Her mother also definitely has breast cancer. Downplayed/subverted in the sense that Lisa doesn't seem too bothered by any of this.
* HelloNurse: Barely a scene goes by where someone doesn't comment on her attractiveness.
* InformedAttractiveness: Lisa is regarded as incredibly beautiful and irresistible by the men.
* ItsAllAboutMe: Case in point, after her future spouse [[spoiler:commits suicide]], her first action is to tell the guy she was cheating on him with (who also happened to be his best friend) that they can finally be together. Mark rightfully calls her out on this.
* {{Jerkass}}: Cheats on her loving future spouse with his best friend because she's bored with him, was implied to have just been using him for money in the first place, lies about him abusing her to justify it and [[spoiler:''tells his best friend that now there is nothing to keep them apart after Johnny kills himself'']]. At the end, Mark finally grows a spine and tells her off for it.
* LargeHam: Perhaps not as obscene as Johnny or Chris-R, but she has her moments.
-->'''Lisa''': "What kind of drugs did you take!?!?!"
-->'''Denny''': "It's nothing like that...!"
-->'''Lisa''': "'''''WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?'''''"
* ManipulativeBitch: Dear God, Lisa. Mark flat-out lampshaded this.
* PetTheDog: Despite her nastiness, Lisa seems to genuinely care for Denny.
* SatelliteLoveInterest: As the girlfriend, her scenes are limited to having sex and sitting on a pedestal. As the antagonist, she's the axis of the whole film.
* SmugSnake: Sure Lisa, be all secretive and paper thin with your lies and cheating. Johnny will ''[[SarcasmMode never]]'' find out.
* TheSociopath: Peter speculates that she is one based on her behaviour.
* StupidEvil: She makes quite a few mistakes during the movie.
* UglyGuyHotWife: More like ''future wife'' like everyone likes to point out, even though it is not made clear if Johnny has proposed her yet.
* TheUnfairSex: {{Inverted|Trope}}; everyone acts like the affair is her fault while downplaying Mark's role. Though she was the one throwing it in people's faces.
* YourCheatingHeart: Cheating on Johnny with Mark.

[[caption-width-right:350:''"Leave your '''stupid''' comments in your pocket!"'']]
-> Played by Greg Sestero

* BeautyIsBad: He's noted to be handsome and he's having an affair with his best friend's [[InsistentTerminology future wife.]] Less so compared to Lisa as he at least feels a pang of guilt about what's going on.
* BettyAndVeronica: The Veronica to Johnny's Betty for Lisa's Archie
* BrainlessBeauty: He certainly gives off that "Himbo" vibe when Lisa talks him into sex.
-->'''Mark''': "What are you doin'? What's goin' on here? *derp*"
* DullSurprise: His reaction every time Lisa invites him over "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow to talk]]" and then winds up trying to sleep with him. As he explained in ''Literature/TheDisasterArtist,'' there was no way for Greg to make his performance seem convincing, so he didn't even try.
* EasilyForgiven: Mark nearly shoves Peter over the edge of the roof and is forgiven almost instantly in an awkward fashion.
* FlatCharacter: [[WordOfSaintPaul Greg Sestero himself]] views Mark this way. [[https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1nbna6/oh_hai_mark_greg_sestero_mark_from_the_room_here/cch41ra?context=1 According to him, any time he tried to add any depth to the role, Tommy would accuse him of trying to be king of the world.]]
* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Phlegmatic.
* HeterosexualLifePartners: He and Johnny are best friends and we know this because the characters remind us of this every five seconds.
* ImAManICantHelpIt: The presumed explanation for TheUnfairSex below.
* ImportantHaircut: Subverted. He shaves his beard and everyone makes a big deal out of it, but it doesn't signal a change in character.
* KarmaHoudini: For some reason, Mark is blameless when Lisa cheats on Johnny with him all four times. When Johnny commits suicide, Mark is indignant at her. It takes two to tango, and he tangoed four times knowingly with his best friend's steady girlfriend and fiancée. His disgust at the very end of the film actually made sense because Lisa was actually coming on to him OVER JOHNNY'S CORPSE. His reaction could be seen as a MyGodWhatHaveIDone moment.
* TheLancer: He's Johnny's ''best friend''.
* MarijuanaIsLSD: Becomes uncharacteristically violent and belligerent after taking just a couple hits from a joint.
%%* MrFanservice
* MeanCharacterNiceActor: While Mark's by no means the least likeable character in the movie (Lisa and her mother spring to mind first in that regard), Greg Sestero is a genuinely cool guy with a lot of distance to both himself and the infamous movie he starred in and very open about discussing its production details and trivia with fans.
* ObliviousToHints: On almost a spiritual level.
-->'''Mark''' (after Lisa leads him upstairs by the hand and holds him close): "What's going on here?"
* PrettyBoy: Especially after he shaves. Johnny even calls him a "babyface".
* TheReveal: Mark shows up at the apartment where Johnny, Denny, and Peter have been waiting for him in tuxedos, [[spoiler:wearing one just as well...and ''shaven'']]. It is one of the most dramatic, bizarre twists of the movie.
* TheStoner: A hilariously ill-written variation. See MarijuanaIsLSD above.
* TookALevelInJerkass: Throughout most of the film, Mark is torn up about his affairs with Lisa. But during Johnny's birthday party he's suddenly angry and abrasive towards Johnny and is more than happy to be openly intimate with Lisa.
* {{Tuckerization}}: Attempted. According to ''Literature/TheDisasterArtist'', Tommy named Mark after the lead actor of Film/TheTalentedMrRipley "[[Creator/MattDamon Mark Damon]]".
* TheUnfairSex: {{Inverted|Trope}}; everyone acts like the affair is entirely Lisa's fault.

[[caption-width-right:350:''[[ShipperOnDeck "I just like to watch you guys."]]'']]
-> Played by Philip Haldiman

* AmbiguousDisorder: His behavior is... incredibly bizarre for someone who is likely pushing his twenties. Even Tommy Wiseau has admitted the character makes more sense if you think of him as mildly retarded.
* CompressedVice: His drug dealings with Chris-R are brought up once and then never again afterwards.
%%* FourTemperamentEnsemble: The Sanguine.
* KidAppealCharacter: The only kid-like character in the movie (he is 18 years old but looks and acts ''much'' younger). Not that kids are even supposed to be seeing this movie, which is rated R, making him even ''more'' inexplicable.
* KiddieKid: To a degree. He keeps trying to go upstairs with Johnny and Lisa when he knows they're going to have sex, and presumably wants to join in, then follows them upstairs and jumps on the bed. He also talks about how he's "in love" with Lisa like a 7-year old, and fawns over her to a creepy effect.
* NinetiesHair: In TheOughties.
* NoSocialSkills: "I just like to watch you guys."
* PhraseCatcher: "Oh hai, Denny!"
* PrecisionFStrike: Against Claudette.
* PrecociousCrush: Has one on Lisa.
* TagalongKid: Denny doesn't have much importance to the plot.

[[caption-width-right:350:''"Everything goes wrong all at once. Nobody wants to help me. [[BreadEggsMilkSquick And I'm dying.]]"'']]
-> Played by Carolyn Minnott

* AngerBornOfWorry: She tears into Denny after she discovers that he was nearly killed by a drug dealer that he owed money to, though she seems to care for Denny's well being in the end.
* AudienceSurrogate: Probably unintentional, but she asks questions the viewers are probably wondering, such as asking [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall "What are these characters doing here?"]] when she [[CoitusUninterruptus walks in on Mike and Michelle making out]], and asking Denny numerous questions about his relationship with Chris-R (none of which are ever answered).
* BrutalHonesty: She flat-out admits to Lisa that she hated her ex-husband, who happens to be Lisa's father.
* DoesNotLikeMen: "All men are assholes. Men and women use and abuse each other all the time. There's nothing wrong with it. Marriage has nothing to do with love".
* GoldDigger: She certainly believes that women should aspire to be this and more or less states that it's the only reason she married Lisa's father. She even mentioned how she tried to sponge off Johnny.
* HypocriticalHumour: She states in one sentence how much she [[StrawFeminist dislikes men]], and states in the next sentence that men and women exploit each other.
* TheMentor: The closest thing this movie has to one. Naturally, she's very bad at it.
* OnlySaneWoman: She may be an immoral, self-absorbed hypochondriac, but she's also the only character in this movie who seems even remotely aware of how absurd the plot is.
* PragmaticVillainy: She wants Lisa to marry and be faithful to Johnny so that she can [[GoldDigger live off]] a stable life with him. This ends up with an extreme case of VillainHasAPoint: [[spoiler: If Lisa had listened to her mother, it would have been for the better for ''everyone involved!'' [[DrivenToSuicide Johnny wouldn't have committed suicide]], he and Mark would still be friends, Denny would still receive college tuition, Lisa would, again, live a good life, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and the flower shop would still have their favourite customer]].]]
* ShipperOnDeck: She's pro-Johnny and wants Lisa to stay with him, not because she's a fan of their romance but because she wants her daughter to marry so she can benefit from this.
* StrawFeminist: She has a very low opinion about men, but she's at least open-minded enough to know that women can also be manipulative.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: Her breast cancer. It comes up once, then is never mentioned again.
--> "They have cures for everything."
** WordOfGod confirms that [[spoiler:she'll live through it]].

-> Played by Scott Holmes (credited as Mike Holmes in the film, due to Wiseau forgetting the actor's name)

* BetaCouple: With Michelle.
* TheBroCode: Chooses to stay to play football with the guys rather than make out with his girlfriend.
* BlatantLies: He had to run back into the apartment after being caught having sex with Michelle and get his ... book. (That is, his underwear.)
* HaveIMentionedIAmSexuallyActiveToday: In one scene, he tells the rest of the guys he has to leave so he can make out with Michelle.
* LargeHam: He's no louder than the rest of the cast, but his exaggerated facial expressions and non-stop mugging have to be seen to be believed.
* PluckyComicRelief: Though in this film, he ends up looking normal by comparison.

-> Played by Robyn Paris

* BetaCouple: With Mike.
* ChocolateOfRomance: Which she feeds to Mike.
* OnlySaneWoman: The most level-headed of the cast, along with Peter.
** She knows how destructive Lisa's infidelity is and tries to talk her out of it several times.
** The only character who doesn't say "don't worry about it" or "everything's going to be fine".
* TokenGoodTeammate: The only female character who seems to be a decent person.

-> Played by Dan Janjigian

* AxCrazy: So much so that his actor actually ended up scaring the rest of the crew with his performance.
* TheAggressiveDrugDealer: Aggressive both in how he talks and how he threatens people with weapons.
* ChandlersLaw: He starts the first violent part of the movie.
* ClusterFBomb: "Where's my FUCKIN' MONEY DENNY?!"
* FamousLastWords: Since we ''never'' see him again.
-->'''Chris-R''': "--FUCKING DEAD--"
* GangstaStyle: How he holds his gun.
* GiantSpaceFleaFromNowhere: He isn't even referenced until he shows up to try and get Denny to pay him. [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse After that, he is never mentioned or referenced again]].
* HotBlooded: Definitely not an even-tempered guy.
* LargeHam: According to ''Literature/TheDisasterArtist'', Dan gave what's considered the most passionate performance in the movie.
* NoIndoorVoice: To be fair, he was outside when he was doing all his yelling. Though presumably being inside wouldn't have stopped him.
* SirSwearsalot: All the dialogue in his one scene is a ClusterFBomb.
* SleevesAreForWimps: Wears a tank-top in his scene.

-> Played by Kyle Vogt

* AskAStupidQuestion:
-->'''Peter''' (after a doorbell rings): "Did you hear the door?"
* BusmansHoliday: Is still "playing the psychologist" even when he's off-duty.
* ButtMonkey: Seems to be the butt of jokes in Johnny's inner circle. He is called a chicken at least two times, trips over in a tuxedo football match and is almost thrown off the roof by Mark.
* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: Mysteriously disappears midway through the movie, and is never mentioned again. This is because the actor had to leave to do another movie. Rather than film the important party scenes on his last day, Tommy instead filmed the pointless "football in tuxedos" scene.
* IgnoredExpert: Johnny asks him for some advice about his relationship, which he gives him (for free, even!) and then Johnny gets annoyed and doesn't follow it because he doesn't feel like it. He also tells Mark that he should lay off the drugs, which he doesn't do for the same reason. On top of that, he also (probably correctly) diagnoses Lisa as a sociopath, which doesn't go anywhere either.
* OnlySaneMan: Peter is the only one who hesitates to play football in a tuxedo. He also points out how manipulative and two-faced Lisa is and tries to stop Mark from doing drugs, which would only aggravate the situation even further. Moreover, he tells Mark to take responsibility for his affair with Lisa and to stop seeing her. Given that he's a psychologist, it's not all that surprising that he is the only person with common sense.
* RememberTheNewGuy: Not as much as his replacement below, but he still comes out of nowhere without being properly introduced, halfway through the movie.
* SmartPeopleWearGlasses: The most highly educated character and also the only one in the male cast who wears glasses.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: His actor quit mid-movie, so he disappears and Steven takes his place.

-> Played by Greg Ellery

* AllThereInTheScript: His name is only known by the credits.
* EleventhHourRanger
-->[[Podcast/RiffTrax "Um, I'm sorry. Should we know who you are? Hello?"]]
* LargeHam: For a guy who shows up out of nowhere, he acts ''far'' more involved with the plot then he should.
* RealLifeWritesThePlot: He only exists because Peter's actor quit.
* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech: He exists solely to give one of these.
* RememberTheNewGuy: An impossibly lazy example. With about 20 minutes left in the movie, a new character suddenly appears and becomes deeply involved in the plot. Presumably, we're not supposed to notice that he suddenly appeared from nowhere without an introduction. WordOfGod is that Steven is supposed to be a replacement for the psychologist character Peter (whose actor left the production), but the audience is given no hint of this; indeed, Steven looks nothing like Peter.
* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Originally, Peter had Steven's role, but his actor quit during filming, leading to Steven's creation.

-> AsHimself

* ADogNamedDog: A pug Doggie named Doggie, specifically.
* [[FatCat Fat Dog]]: He bears a strong resemblance to a loaf of bread.
* AsHimself: Tommy didn't notice him until during the middle of a take. Later, he would ask the dog's owner if it was a 'real thing', perhaps not convinced it was a real animal.
* OldDog: According to his owner, he was very old. This may explain why he sat so quietly on the counter that Tommy Wiseau didn't initially notice his presence.
* PreciousPuppy: Well, maybe not so much a puppy anymore. But definitely precious.

[[folder:Flower Shop Lady]]
-> AsHerself

* AsHerself: The owner of the flower shop in real life (it has since closed). She was allowed to appear as herself, as Tommy didn't have any extras to spare for the scene.
* FailedASpotCheck: She fails to recognize Johnny until he takes off his sunglasses.


Claudette's brother (and Lisa's uncle), who wants her to give him a share of her house. Claudette is less than willing to do this.

* TheGhost: Along with Shirley Hamilton.
* {{Jerkass}}: According to Claudette.

[[folder:Shirley Hamilton]]

Claudette's friend, who wants to buy a new house. Claudette asks Johnny to help her with a down payment, only for him to tell her it's an awkward situation. She expected him to be more generous. The only character in the entire movie to have a surname, yet she's entirely offscreen.

* TheGhost: Along with Harold.