William "Will" McKenzie
- Played by: Simon Bird
- Adorkable: When he's not being pompous, he has his moments.
- Ambiguously Brown: Comes up exactly once, when Patrice mistakes him for an Arab.
- Anti-Hero: The main character and an arrogant, posh twit with some Pet the Dog moments towards his mates.
- Audience Surrogate: In the early episodes, he's the newest student at Rudge Park, so his narration introduces the audience to life at the school.
- Berserk Button: In any situation where he perceives unfair treatment, he tends to overreact. It always backfires.
- Repeatedly being denied alcohol when everyone else is underage.
- Being cut in line on a roller coaster.
- Blind Without 'Em: When he temporarily loses his glasses in the first movie, he finds that he can't see in the dark and accidentally trips over Nikos having sex with another woman.
- Bring My Brown Pants: As a result of nerves and too many energy drinks, he shits himself during an exam.
- Butt-Monkey: Isolating himself on his first day in a new school, shitting himself in an exam, being bullied by Donovan, being mocked for having a briefcase. Will doesn't have the best of luck.
- Camp Straight: He's rather effeminate.
- Carpet of Virility: Subverted. He's got a very hairy chest in the first series, but he's not exactly Rated M for Manly. After that, he's either shaved or waxed it, as he appears with a hairless chest in any Shirtless Scene.
- Lampshaded in the commentary for one of the early episodes; the cast mention no 16-year-old would have that much chest hair, which is why this is averted in all episodes after.
- Catchphrase: "Hi! I'm Will."
- The Complainer Is Always Wrong: Anytime he raises an objection (moral and otherwise), he gets shot down by others, even when he's right. Especially when he's right.
- Cool Loser: Zigzagged. When he actually picks up (or at least is close at picking up) girls, it's usually because they fall for his peculiar humor or pertinent sarcasm. But most of the time, these traits just make people consider him to be a pompous/awkward freak.
- Cunning Linguist: Is the only member of the group that has any knowledge of any language other than English (as shown by his conversation in French with Patrice). Downplayed, though, as he doesn't find himself in any other situations where other languages are needed (if he knows any) and justified in that he's probably studying French for his A levels.
- Deadpan Snarker: Particularly in the narrations. In fact, it's what women find most attractive in him.
- Digging Yourself Deeper: Has a tendency to keep going off on tirades long after he should have stopped, most notably in his rebuffing of Kerri.
- The mechanics at the garage are reasonably friendly towards him...until Will starts telling them he's "too clever" for their job.
- In the movie after he found out he'd taken a disabled girls seat he continued arguing even though you could tell even he wasn't really on his own side anymore.
- Disappeared Dad: His father leaves his mother prior to the start of the series, meaning that she can no longer afford to send him to the private school he was attending previously, forcing him to go to Rudge Park. He doesn't make an appearance until the first movie.
- Does Not Like Guns: In the second movie's ending, the rest of the lads fire off a few rounds at a Vietnamese gun range. Will declines to participate.
- Dogged Nice Guy: He gets very annoyed when Oneshot Character Lauren prefers Simon over him.
- Embarrassing Nickname: "Briefcase" (or some variation thereof) until the time he shits himself.
- Establishing Character Moment: In the very first episode, we see his overall social status and mistreatment by everyone from teachers to classmates. But his very first interaction on the show also features him saying the wrong thing to Mr. Gilbert, then later insulting Gilbert in front of the entire class, showcasing his socially awkward qualities.
- Fish out of Water: The beginning of the series sees him transplanted from a posh private school to a state-run secondary school, making him stand out amongst everyone else.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Choleric/Melancholic.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Along with Jay, he tends to fall into this the most. In the first episode, the other three are extremely reluctant to hang out with him and see him as a loser(Simon only being obligated as his guide). While they do show that they care about Will later on, they are often frustrated by his strait-laced attitude.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Tends to go off into a massive rant at relatively minor things such as people taking the front seats on a roller coaster, being denied alcohol or being assumed to be in a relationship with a girl he has no interest in.
- Has a Type:
- Most of the women he has been attracted to over the series and movies - Charlotte, Lauren, Alison and Katie - have been blonde. Katie and Alison look similar enough that some fans mistook their actresses for the same person.
- In addition to this, with the exception of Lauren, these women are portrayed as sexually confident, often speaking frankly on the subject.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Due to being the most reasonable members of the group, Will and Simon bond relatively quickly. By series 3, he openly calls Simon his best friend in the narration.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He has moments where he tends to quite petty and shallow. However, he shows himself to care for his friends pretty regularly.
- Kavorka Man: While he's not unattractive, he's not handsome by any means, dresses like a ninny and acts like an awkward stick in the mud at all times. Despite this, several attractive girls have shown interest in him. Subverted to a degree in that he tends to lose their interest because of these very flaws, making it a mystery of how he attracts them in the first place.
- Large Ham: At times he can get overdramatic whenever he goes into a massive rant. This happens at least Once an Episode.
- Like Father, Like Son: The Movie reveals that hot women are attracted to Will's dad as well.
- Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: Although he is the most strait-laced of the four, he gradually shows that he is capable of having fun with them.
- Momma's Boy: Oh yes. He even admits that after Charlotte dumps him, he's going home to cry to his mum.
- Motor Mouth: When he goes off on a rant, his pattern of speech tends to speed up.
- The Narrator: He narrates the series and the two movies, snarkily. Some of his best one liners occur during the narrations.
- Neat Freak: Problematic, since his other three friends are Guys Are Slobs.
- Nerd: His general appearance (slight of build, sense of dress and glasses) and standing as The Smart Guy of the group paint him as this.
- Nerds Are Virgins: He's quite awkward socially, especially with women, so he has yet to have sex before the first movie. Then again, so have Jay and Simon.
- Never Live It Down: In universe, shitting himself in an exam. A minor Running Gag in series 3 has new characters refer to the incident.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Noted in one of the TV specials; Will tends to be moral compass of the group and rarely sets out to do anything bad. It's just that his attempts at doing the right thing generally backfire.
- Not So Above It All: While he generally attempts to behave more grounded and rationally minded than most of his friends and is clearly more responsible in the majority of situations, there are several incidents that prove he is effectively capable of the same level of thoughtlessness and ineptitude. Most evident when he's left home alone, he eventually joins in with the lads in destroying daffodils after a few cans.
- No Social Skills: He can be awkward around people and is often tactless in situations where he should know when to stop. Highlights include trying to dump Kerry because he's not into her not knowing her father had recently died and insulting a group of kids with Down Syndrome.
- Obsessed Are the Listmakers: He makes a study plan that takes several days to make.
- Of Course I'm Not a Virgin: Blunders it with Charlotte, telling her that he slept with an 11-year-old when he was 13. She figures out that he's a virgin during his attempts to have sex with her and, thus, ruins his chances with her. Subverted in the first movie when he's honest with Alison about being a virgin. She doesn't think any less of him for it.
- Only Sane Man: Not as much as Simon is, but he's comparatively normal when alongside the other two.
- Parental Abandonment: His Dad ran off with a girl whom Will describes as having only left school four years earlier. Will doesn't even get invited to the wedding.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives a blistering one to Katie and Ben in the second movie.
- The Smart Guy: Played With in that he's while he's academically bright and more sensible than the other three, he often reveals his limited amount of social skills and general impulsiveness in particular situations.
- Socially-Awkward Hero: He could be interpreted as this as he has undertaken some misguided deeds that express his ultimate lack of understanding certain societal norms. Such as:
- Vocally complaining when a group of people were seated at the front of a ride he and his friends had specifically queued for, only to find out said people were obliged to take this space in the ride as they were disabled.
- Somewhat justified, in that he had no knowledge of their disability, having never previously seen these people, and he also showed extreme remorse for these actions.
- Impulsively placing a wig in his underwear during a date with an older woman, after a prank lead to his own pubic hair being removed, causing further embarrassment for him.
- Attempting to amiably break off an effectively one-sided relationship with a girl he was never attracted to, only to create a scene during his friend's birthday party.
- This was partly the girl's fault; she had manipulatively claimed that Will attempted to have sex with her, prior to breaking off the "relationship".
- Becoming the subject of abuse after making several pretentious, patronising but ultimately not malicious claims towards a group of garage workers he would be employed by during his work experience.
- Claiming to have engaged in several sexual encounters in order to secure his relationship with a slightly older, promiscuous girl, only to face more severe humiliation when his lack of sexual experience is evidenced.
- Making wild claims of said girl's opinion of him and an extreme exaggeration of their "relationship" to avoid being further abused by the aforementioned group of mechanics.
- Vocally complaining when a group of people were seated at the front of a ride he and his friends had specifically queued for, only to find out said people were obliged to take this space in the ride as they were disabled.
- Sophisticated as Hell: He has a more advanced vocabulary than pretty much anyone else in the show, but he's not above a Cluster F-Bomb when he gets angry.
- Supporting Protagonist: Although he is the main character and narrator of the series, Simon receives more focus in terms of relationships (notably his obsession with Carli and his plot with Lucy) and the focus of the final episode of the TV series (where he's supposed to move away).
- Surrounded by Idiots: He is academically more knowledgeable than his three friends and usually more grounded, uptight, and sensible than them (other than possibly Simon, as the voice of relative sanity alternates between the two characters depending on the situation). While he has his own moments of tactlessness, he is generally among the most rationally minded and logical of characters in the series.
- Uptight Loves Wild: In spite of his own awkwardness, he tends to go for women who are more confident and comfortable with their sexual experiences and are able to talk about the subject as such.
- Played by Joe Thomas
- Adorkable: Trips up when trying to talk to Tara at first.
- Anguished Declaration of Love: He tries to give one to Carli, but something always goes wrong.
- Berserk Button: Much as he complains about it, he goes mental when Jay and Neil accidentally let his car crash into the river.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: After spending literally the entire series chasing after Carli, in the second movie he has a girlfriend who is a total Yandere who ends up cheating on him.
- Bratty Teenage Son: Probably the biggest offender of the four, and his little brother is a Bratty Half-Pint. Granted, he also has Amazingly Embarrassing Parents, but he's still very rude and surly towards his parents, even if they're simply saying hello.
- Butt-Monkey: Between his humiliations with Carli, having his balls out on stage and falling into some very cold water, he doesn't have the best of luck.
- Cannot Spit It Out: Most notably at the prom, when he has everything set up for a romantic declaration of love to Carli and he chokes. Fortunately, Neil manages to take the heat away from him.
- Catchphrase: "Hmm..."
- Chick Magnet: Women do tend to be into him, but he'd have much more success if he wasn't so hung up on Carli the whole time. Tellingly, of all the lads, he's the one who's been in the most actual relationships.
- Cool Loser: While the other three have traits that make their lack of popularity understandable, Simon is a handsome and funny guy who tends to have the most chances of climbing the social ladder presented to him, only to fail due to publicly humiliating himself.
- Deadpan Snarker: Not to the same degree as Will, but his Only Sane Man status makes him have his moments. Like Will, he especially loves saying "brilliant".
- A Degree in Useless: The only subject that he's ever been confirmed onscreen to be taking, apart from a poor grasp of French, is Sociology, which has a long history of being derided as a useless subject. He carries onto university studying it and bemoans the fact that it's his only skill when the lads are lost in the desert in the second movie.
- Deuteragonist: After Will, he is the character with the most prominence. Even though Will is the main character, the series and movies deal with his romantic relationships the most.
- Dogged Nice Guy: To ridiculous levels with Carli.
- The Driver: For the first two seasons is the only one with a car, so drives the rest of the lads everywhere. Granted, it's not a good car, but still.
- Embarrassing Nickname: "Boner" for the entire first series.
- Establishing Character Moment: His major one comes with the introduction of Carli; we see how nervous he is around her to the point where even her sniffing him gives him a Raging Stiffie.
- Extreme Doormat: He seems to be this to his Love Interests quite a lot- he only confronts Carli about her casually using him at the end of the first movie, is resigned to Lucy's crazy behaviour in the second and lets Tara dress him up "like an eccentric posh child", in Will's words.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Melancholic/Phlegmatic.
- Hopeless Suitor: To ridiculous levels with Carli. He's pined for her since he was eight years old and doesn't get anywhere with her until the end of series 2, and even then, she doesn't really care about him.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: A Spoiled Brat towards his parents but still cares about his friends, particularly Will.
- It's All About Me:
- When his father tells him that the family will need to move to Swansea so he can keep his job, Simon goes mad, claiming that his life is ruined as a result.
- In the yearbook, he's totally unconcerned about Patrice's dead father and instead only cares about his relationship with Carli, bemoaning that Nice Guys Finish Last.
- The Lancer: Of the other members of the group, he's the one Will is closest with, so he becomes this by default to Will's hero. By the third series, they're practically Hetero Sexual Life Partners.
- Love Makes You Dumb: His feelings for Carli have resulted in acting in such foolish ways as vandalising her driveway, getting so drunk to build up Dutch Courage to tell her how he feels and ending up puking on her little brother, swapping shoes with a homeless person to get into a nightclub and dressing up in a speedo for a fashion show at her request.
- Naked People Are Funny: While all the lads fall victim to this at some point, it's a recurring theme with Simon. He ends up naked at least Once a Season. Played for Laughs.
- Not So Above It All: Along with his ridiculous behaviour around Carli, Simon acts like a complete asshole to both of his parents at all times despite them easily being the most normal parents on the show.
- Not So Different: One of the reasons why Simon and Will gradually become friends. After seeing him similarly humiliated by his classmates with an embarrassing nickname, he opts to offer his seat in class as a gesture of friendliness.
- Only Sane Man: He often sees the flaws in Jay or Neil's ideas/opinions and often call them out on it, especially on the occasions that Will agrees with them.
- Ordinary High-School Student: Beyond his single-minded fixation on Carli, which even then isn't all that unusual, he is by far the most normal of the four.
- Raging Stiffie: Gets one in the very first episode when Carli leans into him, leading to the Embarrassing Nickname of "Boner" throughout series one.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives Will, Neil and Jay one in the final episode after they let his car crash into the river.
- Single-Target Sexuality: Manages to move past Carli by the first movie, but it takes a loooong time.
- Super Gullible: He takes advice about sex from Jay, believing everything he says about women. If he hadn't gone for that "Tactical Wank", he'd have actually had sex with Tara.
- Unreliable Narrator: In the yearbook, he recalls the Bus Wanker incident as him being dragged out of the car and mugged by twenty massive blokes.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: When it comes to Carli, he seems to believe that he's The Protagonist of a romcom instead of The Lancer in a Sadist Show.
- Played by James Buckley
- Abusive Parents: His Dad belittles him in almost every conversation he has in the series and his mother just sits there and lets him.
- Attention Whore: He admits to Big John that he makes up lies so people will notice him.
- All Men Are Perverts: He will make lewd comments about every woman going and sometimes, depending on how much he's drank, make unwanted sexual advances. However, this trope is subverted whenever he meets a girl he actually cares about.
- Bad Liar: Mostly because his lies are hilariously ridiculous. It's especially noteworthy considering Neil is often the one to point out the holes in his stories.
- Berserk Button: "FOOTBALL FRIEND! FUCKING FOOTBALL FRIEND!"
- Disrespecting a girl he fancies seems to be one for him- he gets quite angry at the end of the first movie and during the second when people make fun of Jane's weight. He also gets mad with Neil when he makes lewd comments about Chloe.
- Blatant Lies: Just about everything he says.
- Big Brother Instinct: He gets unusually annoyed when Will makes a joke about his sister and demands Will takes it back. Will does, then switches to a Your Mom joke. Jay ignores it.
- "Fuck that", although this mostly applies to the movie.
- "Morning, benders", to the point that it appears as a track on the soundtrack album.
- Casanova Wannabe: Claims to have had sex with everything going. It's pretty obvious that he's still a virgin. This is played with somewhat, as while Jay constantly brags about his sexual exploits to other guys, he almost never even so much as attempts to speak to any girls, let alone hit on them. On the very few occasions where he does, he is shown to be much more quiet, reserved and awkward than he normally is. He finally manages to get laid for real at the end of the first movie.
- Character Development: Gets the most out of the four main characters. He's an outright Jerk with a Heart of Jerk in the first season, but by the end of the third season and into the movies he's still a cocky, annoying little shit, but much warmer and willing to go above and beyond for his friends.
- The Chick: Surprisingly. He's actually the most sensitive of the four, though he tries very hard to obscure this.
- Chivalrous Pervert: Surprisingly, but when he actually does get a girlfriend in-series, he's actually quite respectful towards her. He also becomes this in the movie with Jane.
- Determinator: In the second movie, he goes to Australia, where he has to work in a toilet and sleep in a tent, to try and win Jane back.
- Dirty Coward: Often; he immediately tells Donovan that Will is upstairs with Charlotte, mocks Simon after some guys threaten to beat him up over something Jay did, ditches his friends when some chav pre-teen girls get their brother to chase them with a cricket bat...
- Don't Explain the Joke: Often pauses after making a Double Entendre and adds a filthier line, generally ruining it. Will lampshades it during "A Night Out In London."Neil: She touched her hair. In body language-speak, that means she likes you.Jay: Well in London, there'll be plenty of girls touching their hair around me.Will: Their pubic hair, presumably.Jay: No, their actual.......long.......yeah, their pubic hair.
- Drives Like Crazy: In contrast to Simon, who drives like an old woman, Jay is extremely reckless behind the wheel of his mother's car.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine/Choleric.
- Freudian Excuse: The way his Dad treats him explains a lot of Jay's behavior.
- He is implied to have been sexually abused by his neighbor as a child.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?: Constantly talks of his conquests to the lads.
- Heroes Love Dogs: While annoyed by his dog, Benji, vying for his attention while attempting to masturbate, he genuinely loves the dog. This is solidified by his reaction to his lie about Benji shitting in the house having got his dad to put Benji down being shock and heartbreak. Even in the last episode, he elects to use the dog Monopoly piece, as it reminds him of Benji.
- Hidden Depths: When he actually does have a girlfriend, he's a pretty attentive and caring boyfriend. He's also a pretty good DJ and is very kind to others when given the chance.
- It Amused Me: After Simon comes out from the toilet at Louise Graham's party, he pretends that Simon has made a mess of the facilities in from of Carli. When Simon calls him out and asked why he did it, Jay responds that it was funny.
- Jerk Ass: He is the most openly mean of the four. At the start of the series, he is the one who gets along least with Will due his constant lying and abrasive personality.
- Jerk Ass Has A Point: Despite his jerkassery and constant lying, some of his points make sense to the point where even Will agrees with him.
- It's implied that he doesn't think Simon and Carli are a good fit and wants him to broaden his romantic horizons. Considering how Carli often strings Simon along when it's convenient, it holds some merit.
- Tells John to shut up during the prom planning session after hearing him ask about food one too many times (as Will had even told him repeatedly that he would get to that on the agenda).
- He considers Alistair an asshole despite everyone else giving him sympathy due to his wheelchair-bound state. Will quickly discovers that Jay is right.
- Jerk Ass Facade: In the series 1 finale, he lets slip to Big John that he only acts the way he does to get attention.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Especially in the movies. In the series, while he is shown to have some (rather well-hidden) redeeming traits, he is more often portrayed as a Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk. But that may be due to the cynical nature of the series, while the movies, comparatively, have more heart-warming and Throw the Dog a Bone moments.
- Karma Houdini: He often manages to escape punishment or embarrassment due to being a Dirty Coward. He also repeatedly humiliates Simon and Will without any comeuppance.
- In the very last episode, it is entirely his fault that Simon's car falls into the lake.
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Most of his "expertise" tends to be about sex, but will occasionally be about another topic that's relevant to the plot.
- Large Ham: Can slip into this at times, especially when his Berserk Button is pushed.
- Men Don't Cry: Averted- Jay ends up crying after his first serious girlfriend dumps him. It actually makes you feel sorry for him.
- Miles Gloriosus: One of his many Blatant Lies is that he once spent the summer at a Thai boxing training camp and knocked out so many Thai fighters that they had to bring in fighters from Cambodia. Of course, it's obvious that he has no experience.
- My God, What Have I Done?: This happens to Jay when his lie ends up getting his dog put down.
- Also happens when he runs over a squirrel.Jay: "...Its eyes look sad."
- Also happens when he runs over a squirrel.
- Never My Fault: He rarely ever takes responsibility for the problems he causes on the show, whether it be giving poor romantic advice, humiliating his friends, or getting them into trouble.
- The Nicknamer: Almost never calls Will by name in the first two series, but instead some variation of "briefcase". In the third series, when Will becomes more known for shitting himself at an exam than carrying around a briefcase, Jay starts calling him by name, though still lets slip a briefcase insult/joke once in a while.
- The Obi-Wannabe: When it comes to love advice.
- Of Course I'm Not a Virgin: Constantly brags that he's shagged every woman he's ever come across, sometimes several at a time. Taken Up to Eleven in the second movie when he claims to have had a three way with the Minogue sisters ten minutes after arriving in Australia. His Establishing Character Moment even has him bragging that he's really good at shagging only to trip up on a question Neil asks.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Probably has the filthiest mouth out of the lads, although they have their moments too.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Is absolutely convinced that he is going to be asked to model at the fashion show and is irate when Simon announces that Carli has asked him to do it. Jay goes to Carli, asking if he can model and convinces himself that he's first reserve when she turns him down. To add further insult to injury, Will gets roped into modelling with Charlotte, which causes Jay to snap.
- Sticky Fingers: "I nicked it out of Sadie Cunningham's bag during registration" appears quite a few times in the show.
- Super Gullible: In addition to spouting Blatant Lies, Jay is more than willing to believe them as well. This includes the rumour that a sexy housewife in Swannage is willing to have sex with schoolboys and when the trio of drunk students tell him about Dutch student Heike wanting to have sex with younger guys.
- Token Evil Teammate: Evil is a strong word, but most of the time, Jay isn't actually nicer than school bully Donovan - the main difference simply is that Jay is too big of a coward to use violence. His jerkassery is played more for laughs than Donovan's, though, but except for his very few Pet the Dog moments, he only seems to be part of the group by virtue of having known Simon since early childhood and being admired by Neil who is stupid enough to believe in his lies.
- Took a Level in Badass: Gets a BJ from Jane and gives James a 20 pound note that was stuck up his bum. James then proceeds to do a line of coke with it, resulting in a single dingleberry stuck on the tip of his nose.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Jay is the meanest of the main four, causing a lot of trouble and conflict over the course of the series. There's only a few times where we see a more sympathetic side.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Jay has this relationship with the other three, especially with Will: Jay is most antagonistic towards Will at first whereas Will constantly calls out his bullshit. Despite this, they do try to comfort each other in serious moments.
- What You Are in the Dark: When he talks alone with Big John in the sixth episode, he shows a surprisingly nice side of himself and even seems to find John sympathetic. However, when others are around, he doesn't miss one chance to gravely insult John, especially about his weight - because the general consensus is that John is a loser.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: A lot of his lies are to impress his Dad, but his Dad is Genre Savvy enough that he doesn't fall for it. Unfortunately, he then tends to respond to Jay's attention seeking by belittling him. This seems to create a Vicious Cycle - Jay tells more lies to impress his hard-to-please Dad, who as a result tries harder to puncture his son's inflated ego. It's not known whether the chicken or the egg came first.
- Played by Blake Harrison
- Always Someone Better: In terms of sexual opportunities, he's this to Will. A Running Gag is that many of the girls Will fails with end up going to Neil instead.
- Anything That Moves: He's not fussy about who he winds up with, which is probably why he's the first of the lads to lose his virginity.
- The Big Guy: He's taller than the others at 6'1 1/2" and Will notes that he and Jay are physically the strongest of the group.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: It's hard to tell if he's this or simply so dumb he does mean things by mistake, but he's pulled some very dick moves over the course of the series.
- Captain Oblivious: He completely misses the signs that Paedo Kennedy is constantly attempting to sexually assault him. Even when Gilbert pulls Kennedy away, he doesn't seem phased.
- Catch-Phrase: He adopted saying "No problemo" in a shit Spanish accent for one episode, but dropped it afterwards.
- He tends to say "behave" when the others say something that annoys him.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Particularly when he goes on about how many things are drugs, starting with relatively sane things such as cigarettes and alcohol and moving on to stuff like trainers and clingfilm.
- Comically Missing the Point: All the time, especially when he fails a spot check regarding Mr. 'Paedo' Kennedy's advances.
- Dancing with Myself: Does this at a many times. Will admits that he's actually quite good.
- The Ditz: He's practically terminally dim. Academically stupid and lacking common sense, most of the gags involve him not having even the most basic knowledge at hand. His only two examinable subjects are Tech & Design and PE.
- Embarrassing Middle Name: Lyndsey.
- Feigning Intelligence: The other lads are bewildered to find him attempting to read a book. When going on a Blind Date show for charity, he believes it will improve his chances if he seems more intelligent. When Will points out that it will make him still seem stupid, he still doesn't get it. During the show itself, he picks the girl who answers his questions with the most intelligent answers, he winds up with Suzie, a twelve-year-old child prodigy who is taking her A-Levels four years early.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Foolish to Katie's Responsible. Not that being more responsible than Neil is hard.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Phlegmatic/Sanguine.
- Gasshole: Of all the characters, he tends to fart the most. The second film establishes that he has Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
- Going Commando: Under his monkey costume at Thorpe Park, much to the disgust of the others. Neil counters that the monkey isn't naked- "he has a vest on!"
- In the second movie, when dressed for a fancy dress part as Hermione Granger, he doesn't wear underwear either.
- Hidden Depths: He's usually the first one who points out the flaws in Jay's Blatant Lies. He's also a very good dancer.
- Hot for Teacher: Has a crush on Miss Timms and makes a move on her at the end of the first series.
- Kavorka Man: Not that he's "ugly", just very stupid with lacking hygiene.
- Ignorance Is Bliss: Of the four main characters, he's the least intelligent, but also the happiest in general. In the first movie, he tells Will that once he stopped believing in God, he became much happier when he stopped worrying about things by thinking about them.
- Likes Older Women: Not only Miss Timms but also the older women around Malia in The Movie. He hooks up with an older housewife in the second movie too.
- Nice Guy: Neil can be annoying due to his stupidity, but he has almost no actual Jerkass moments compared to the other lads. He is also generally polite and is quick to comfort his friends in the "arm around the shoulder and kind words" way that the others would probably deem as too "bent" or girly. Although hooking up with a new girl in the movie and cheating on his current girlfriend with a transparent excuse, ignoring her when she was waiting for him at the airport when returning from Greece in the first movie is a definite contradiction.
- The Pig Pen: He has some rather gross habits showcased in the series. In one episode, it's revealed that he "spunked" in Simon's car, whereas another features him peeing on Will.
- Sarcasm-Blind: Being The Ditz means he's generally unable to grasp the concept of Will's wit.
- Super Gullible: Zig zagged. He's susceptible to a lot of Jay's Blatant Lies, such as being able to get away with smashing up plates in the school common room in the series 3 prologue, but if Jay tells a lie that contradicts a previous lie, Neil will call him out on it.
- Played by Greg Davies
- Berserk Button: Seems to have one about being contradicted. Will being Will, he tends to do this a lot.
- Brick Joke: In the series, he tells Will he'd like to get with his mother. In the second movie, he actually does.
- Child Hater: He really seems like one at times.
- Cool Old Guy: On holidays at least, he'll loosen up and go on the piss. He turns up in Malia in the first movie, riding a quadbike while naked and in the extended cut playing drinking games in one of the bars.
- Deadpan Snarker: Probably the biggest in the show.
- Dean Bitterman: It's pretty clear that he's lost all interest in actually educating teens at this point. He and Will tend to clash often.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Many of his punishments tend to turn out this way, especially towards Will.
- He forces Will to attend his work experience at the garage simply because Will told him he made a mistake.
- Threatens to ruin Will's educational prospects unless he finds out who ruined the flower garden.
- He gives Jay and Neil four weeks of detention simply for mentioning that they saw him at Waterside Mall.
- Do Not Call Me Phil: Especially not if you're Will.
- The Dreaded: Most of the time, none of the four want anything to do with him.
- I Banged Your Mom: In the second movie. He takes a sick pleasure in describing the act to Will.
- Jerkass: He deliberately goes out of his way to make life miserable for Will and takes great pleasure in seeing misfortunes happen to him.
- Jerkass Has a Point: While he takes delight in Will's bullying during his work experience, he still believes that Will must've said something for him to get bullied that badly. In fact, part of the reason for Will's hazing is his own insensitive comments.
- Jerk With A Heart Of Jerk: Will thinks he's a good enough guy to help Neil out once (he thinks) he got a girl pregnant. He's wrong.
- Large and in Charge: He's 6'8". Will once refers to him as "a lunatic giant."
- Moral Myopia: He generally disapproves of grassing, especially if it's from Will. But he also threatens to ruin Will's academic prospects if he doesn't rat out his friends.
- Not So Different: Despite hating Will with passion most of the time, he genuinely agrees with him when Will argues that a fashion show is a stupid, unethical way to collect money for charity since only good-looking people are able to take part. However, he is still enough of an asshole to force Will to take care of the charity money anyways.
- Pet the Dog: Neil mentions Gilbert takes him making a move on Ms. Timms after one too many beers quite well.
- He also stops Paedo Kennedy from molesting Neil on several occasions, even telling Kennedy that he's been, "putting his fucking neck on the line for", him.
- In the Exam episode, he doesn't disqualify Jay for having his phone out, despite having every right to do so.
- After Will shits himself, he leads him quietly out of the exam with as little fuss as possible.
- Sadist Teacher / Apathetic Teacher: The former against students who have managed to personally annoy or insult him, especially Will. The latter against students in general.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: He's very sweary for a teacher.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Will gets on the wrong side of him on his first day and he never lets up at him, even after he leaves the school.
- Played by Emily Head
- Alpha Bitch: She has a much higher standing in the popularity pecking order than the lads and, especially in series 3 and the first movie, comes across as one of the most popular girls at school with a bitchy streak and has a poor choice in men.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She comes across as a Nice Girl in the first season, but knowingly strings Simon along. By the first movie, she outright uses him for her own ends, though its sort of Si's own fault for being awkward around her.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: Implied when she sees Simon talking to Lauren. She comes up to Simon, asking to hang out, even after she finds out he's arranged to meet up with Lauren. In the first movie, she's this to James, even using Simon to try and make him jealous. James ever refers to her as "Carli Cling-on", noting that she's very keen.
- Embarrassing Nickname: The yearbook reveals that the other kids called her "Carli Tomato" until she hit puberty.
- Girl Next Door: She and Simon have known each other since childhood.
- It's All About Me: When Simon accidentally flashes a testicle at the fashion show, she complains that he ruined her big night, in spite of the fact that the whole thing was a charity event to raise money for a dialysis machine.
- Love Interest: For Simon. It's pretty much one sided though.
- Of Corsets Sexy: Her choice of outfit for the fashion show's sexy finale is a corset with Opera Gloves and feather boa, while carrying a riding crop, much to Neil's delight. Simon has to concentrate so hard not to get an erection because of this outfit that he neglects to spot that one of his balls are hanging out.
- Pet the Dog: In spite of her Alpha Bitch tendencies, she does get Donovan to release the wedgie he's giving Will on their last day of school.
- Put on a Bus: Simon declares that he doesn't want to see her again at the end of the first movie, and he kept his word as she is not seen or even given the slightest mention in the second movie.
- Satellite Character: Most of her characterisation revolves around Simon pining over her.
- Sequel Non-Entity: She has vanished from the face of the earth in the second movie. While she was Put on a Bus at the end of the first movie for perfectly justifiable reasons, it's still a bit jarring as she was one of the most important characters of the show before with so many of the plots and sideplots being about Simon trying to win her heart.
- The Tease: When Simon stops paying attention to her and starts getting interested in Lauren, all Carli has to do is compliment him and he instantly forgets all about Lauren.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: She's a reasonably nice Girl Next Door in the first series, but later on appears to be just stringing Simon along and even using him to make other guys jealous when it suits her. Her jerkassery is most evident in "The Fashion Show" and the first movie.
- Played by Emily Atack
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Was in a relationship with Donovan, and it's implied she's not totally over him.
- Buxom Is Better: Her breasts are, according to Jay, so large and perfect that she needs specially made bras.
- Defrosting Ice Queen: She's seen as unattainable by the lads, but Will manages to break the ice with his wit after an awkward start. Even after his disaster in bed with her and his spreading of lies that they were more than they were, she's still nice to him considering.
- Everyone Loves Blondes: Has blonde hair and most of the teenage male characters lust after her.
- Hello, Nurse!: She has a reputation as being the most popular girl in school due to her looks. The lads are utterly shocked when she turns up at a house party so uncool that they were invited.
- Innocently Insensitive: Although she puts it nicely, she tells Will that she would be fine with a guy like him as long as it isn't him, removing any possibility of romance between them.
- Lovable Alpha Bitch: Especially when compared to Carli.
- Love Interest: By virtue of her number of appearances, she's likely the closest thing Will has to a main love interest on the show.
- Ms. Fanservice: Will notes he would do anything Charlotte asked him to- including participating in the Fashion Show after deriding it repeatedly as shallow and ridiculous.
- Not So Above It All: Has a bitchy moment when she participates in the date show despite Will thinking they were an item.
- Really Gets Around: According to Jay, she's slept with the entire rugby team. Will points out that Rudge Park doesn't even have a rugby team. She's obviously more experienced and comfortable with her sexuality than Will, as she talks about buying vibrating love eggs and mentions she's already taken eleven lovers.
- Small Role, Big Impact: Although she doesn't appear too often, she's still one of Will's most significant love interests over the course of the series. But despite the fact that they get along quite well, it's emphasized in her last appearance that she would love a guy "like Will" as long as it isn't actually him.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Chews out Will for bragging about her being a porn star and his supposed bird to impress his work experience 'colleagues'.
- Played by Henry Lloyd-Hughes
- Axe-Crazy: Will refers to him as "the school psycho." Hash seems to make him "spread butter like a maniac."
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He has a façade of being polite in front of parents, which is why he manages to get into a lot less trouble than he should.
- The Bully: He starts on Will on the first day and doesn't let up, even giving him a wedgie on their final day at school.
- The Charmer: Gets away with his bullying because he's very polite and pleasant towards adults. (And girls.)
- Crazy Jealous Guy: He's threatened Will for being with Charlotte and is implied to have beaten Patrice to a pulp for sleeping with her.
- The Dreaded: When Donovan is involved, the protagonists pretty much give up and let him get away with his bullying due to their fear of him. It occasionally works in their favor but it mostly results in them getting hurt.
- Jerkass: A Jerk Jock towards the protagonists, he even writes cock on Neil's bandaged arm.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He has a sensitive side towards Charlotte. Though if you tell anyone that, he will kill you ask Will..
- Karma Houdini: None of the protagonists are physically inclined, so Donovan can pretty much get away with screwing with them without retaliation, except for one example when John of all people got him to back down.
- Kick the Son of a Bitch: Beats up Patrice for sleeping with Charlotte.
- Played by John Seaward
- Big Eater: He eats so many burgers at the Christmas prom that Will has to tell him to stop.
- Butt-Monkey: His whole purpose is to be lower on the social pecking order than the protagonists.
- Fat Idiot: He's not all there and tends to get lost easily.
- Hidden Depths: When he sees Will being grappled by Donovan at the Christmas party, he doesn't even hesitate before yelling at Donovan to put him down, which gets the whole school year to stick up for Will and Donovan to back off.
- Kavorka Man: Is seen at a house party with his hand on a girl's breast.
- Nice Guy: Sticks up for Will and is fairly non-confrontational if stupid.
- The Pig Pen: Will notes that the only "carnage" that had happened on the Swanage trip was what he'd done to the bus toilets.
- Straw Loser: He often appears when the four main characters seem to be complete losers to point out that they are actually not at the bottom of the hierarchy (there is a reason they're called "inbetweeners" - they're not really losers, at least not if they pull themselves together, but they are surely not popular either), because guys like John are much worse off.
- However, it's inverted in the episode "Will's Birthday" where the fact that even John is invited to a party shows how uncool the four main characters are.
- Although, when confronted, the girl in question says the only reason she didn't invite the lads simply because she didn't know them that well.
- However, it's inverted in the episode "Will's Birthday" where the fact that even John is invited to a party shows how uncool the four main characters are.
- Played by Belinda Stewart-Wilson
- Affectionate Nickname: Calls Will "petal" a few times, often in front of his mates.
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents:
- Will is embarrassed by some of the things she does, such as buying him a vest for his birthday or letting slip about his childhood habits and ailments.
- In the first episode, it's revealed she told the school that Will was bullied, giving him no small amount of embarrassment and actually contributing to his ostracization even though the reason he changed schools was actually because of school fees.
- Brainless Beauty: As of the second movie. While she's always had a certain cluelessness she has clearly taken a Level In Dumbass, accidentally flashing everyone her cleavage while trying to adjust her webcam amongst other things.
- Brutal Honesty: She has a tendency to be somewhat tactless, like when she tells Will to stay away from good-looking girls and to let the good-looking boys go for them instead.
- Buxom Is Better: Her enormous breasts are a source of lust for Simon, Jay and Neil, much to Will's chagrin.
- Deadpan Snarker: Like her son, she has her moments. In many cases, she has no tact with her snarky comments.
- Genre Savvy: Knows perfectly well the text she got from Will's phone sent by Neil wasn't written by Will, so she simply tells him she's happy he got there safely.
- Guess Who I'm Marrying?: Gets engaged to Mr Gilbert by the end of the second movie.
- Hello, Nurse!: Every character who's met her, particularly at the school, comments on her general physical attractiveness. This has spilled over into the fandom as well.
- Hopeless with Tech: Implied initially by the lads since Will can beat her at the Wii. In the second movie, she's unable to use Skype properly despite Will having instructed her several times.
- My Beloved Smother: She worries about Will a little too much at times to embarrassing levels.
- Parent with New Paramour: Mr Gilbert.
- Running Gag: Whenever Will goes anywhere with his mates, she goes off to get him a jumper.
- Stacy's Mom: Everybody, from the school psycho to the head of sixth form, has a thing for her. The lads always make comments about her, much to Will's chagrin.
- That Came Out Wrong: Her attempts to comfort Will usually have her accidentally insulting him, but she does try.
- Played by Alex McQueen
- Ambiguously Gay: Though he strenuously denies it.
- Catchphrase: "Neil...", usually said in tones of great exasperation.
- Fan Disservice: Those shorts!
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Denies being gay, mentioning that he was married.
- Who Wears Short Shorts?: He tends to wear tight shorts around the place, most for the purposes of playing badminton.
- Played by Martin Trenaman
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Will not shut up about his sex life.
- The Comically Serious: Or The Cringe Comically Serious if you want. Whenever he goes into unnecessary details about his sex life, he often has a completely deadpan face as if he thinks mentioning his sex life is just like discussing politics. This tends to embarrass Simon even more.
- Generation Xerox: When Simon confesses to him about his feelings for Carli, he tells Simon that he had a similar situation with an unrequited love. Of course, he then goes on about Simon's mother's sex drive, causing Simon to be sick.
- Nice Guy: A pretty mellow Dad, especially compared to Terry Cartwright.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: He waits to hear Simon's side of the story when Simon accidentally climbs into Carli's little brother's room and professes love to him.
- Played by David Schaal
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Berates Jay constantly.
- Everyone Has Standards: Even he finds Jay's uncle's behaviour towards him unbearable.
- Fat Bastard: Possessed of a hairy beer gut and is borderline abusive towards Jay.
- Gasshole: Is quite loud when using to toilet in a cramped caravan. The smell is so bad, Will notes that his eyes are burning.
- Hypocritical Heartwarming: Surprisingly, he gets one in the second movie when he starts a fight with his cousin, when he repeatedly insults Jay in front of him. Bearing in mind, Jay's dad usually says similar things to Jay, apparently only he is allowed to do so.
- Jerkass: He's constantly derisive towards Jay.
John "Paedo" Kennedy
John "Paedo" Kennedy
- Played by Waen Shepherd
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: It's implied that he's good at his job, hence why he hasn't been sacked yet. Or Mr. Gilbert doesn't want to give the school bad publicity.
- Creepy Monotone: Every line out of his mouth sounds perverted in tone, especially towards Neil.
- Memetic Molester: In universe. Hence the nickname.
- Ultimate Job Security: In spite of repeatedly attempting to molest Neil and apparently caught masturbating over the school orchestra some years back, he still has a job.It's implied that Gilbert has been covering up for him. "I'm putting my fucking neck on the line for you.". Indeed.
- Played by Hannah Tointon
- Curtains Match the Window: Brown hair and eyes.
- Deadpan Snarker: In her first appearance, she's fairly witty.
- Love Makes You Dumb: Around Simon she goes much more giddy, even giving him a ridiculous makeover.
- Meet Cute: Simon is introduced to her by accidentally sitting on her.
- Second Love: Simon's first actual girlfriend, but meets her while he's chasing after Carli.
- Yoko Oh No: In universe, Will and Jay see her as this. The lads get annoyed that he spends more time with her than them. Jay even has a sound effect for whenever Simon talks about her.
- Jay: Beepity-beep-beep!
- Played by Laura Haddock
- Fire and Ice Love Triangle: Nikos is the fire, Will is the ice.
- Friends with Benefits: Offers to be this for Will after dumping Nikos. It's implied in the sequel that this was as far as it went.
- Give Geeks a Chance: While she has trouble admitting it (mostly due to already seeing someone at first), she likes Will enough to give him a fair chance.
- Love Epiphany: After her breakup with Nikos and a night's sleep, she comes to the conclusion that she is attracted to Will.
- Offscreen Breakup: She dumped Will between the two movies.
- Played by Tamla Kari
- All Love Is Unrequited: Played straight regarding Lucy's feelings for Simon. Averted at the film's climax.
- Betty and Veronica: The Betty to Carli's Veronica.
- Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl: With Simon, who still hasn't moved on from Carli.
- Devoted to You: Would do anything for Simon, despite only having just met him. She's later revealed to be insanely clingy
- Downtime Downgrade: Gradually over the course of the sequel
- Hollywood Kiss: With Simon...who immediately ruins the moment by saying "I think I've shit myself".
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Gives Simon her boat party ticket so he can take one last chance on Carli.
- Love Cannot Overcome: Her relationship with Simon fizzles out over the course of the sequel
- Second Love: To Simon after Carli and Tara. They're even living together in the second movie, where she has easy access to his possessions.
- Smitten Teenage Girl: She falls for Simon fairly quickly upon meeting him, even if he's completely fixated on Carli. Too much so by the sequel, as she becomes psychotically obsessed with controlling him.
- Yandere: She gets seriously psychotic in the second movie, destroying Simon's possessions and deleting friends from his Facebook account.
- Played by Lydia Rose Bewley
- Amicable Exes: Unlike Lucy, she and Jay part on quite pleasant terms in the second movie.
- Big Beautiful Woman: In spite of Jay hoping not to get stuck with her, he is secretly attracted to her and the pair of them eventually get together. She has no angst about her appearance, even coming up with better insults for herself than James manages.
- Lonely Together: Jane and Jay are the only characters who aren't in love triangles.
- NiceGirl: Probably one of the most cheerful, friendly people in the entire series.
- Offscreen Breakup: Dumps Jay between the movies and moves to Australia, which is why Jay goes there in the first place.
- Playing Hard to Get: After realising that Jay doesn't want to be seen with her.
- Second Love: To Jay, after Chloe.
- Sugar-and-Ice Personality: Gives Jay the cold shoulder after getting spurned one too many times.
- Played by Jessica Knappett
- Beta Couple: Her relationship with Neil isn't given nearly as much screen-time as the others.
- Birds of a Feather: Is basically a clone of Neil.
- Brainless Beauty: Neil manages to outsmart her.
- Hopeless Suitor: Knows that Neil already has a girlfriend.
- Offscreen Breakup: Like Alison and Jane, she split with Neil between the movies. Neil isn't too bothered.
- Pair the Spares: She and Neil pair up after the rest of the lads hook up with the rest of her group. Though, she has to threaten Richard's parents to do so.
- The Silent Bob: Doesn't get a chance to speak until she confronts Richard's parents at the boat party, thinking that Richard's mother is making a move on Neil.
- Played by Theo James
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Provided they don't have poo on their noses.
- Jerkass: The main things he does in the movie is running over Simon's leg with a scooter (pretending it was an accident), conning Simon out of his clothes to humiliate him, threatening Jay (who was just trying to make friends with him) to beat him up, insulting Jane for being fat, and forcing Jay to give him a note so that he can sniff cocaine.
- Jerk Jock: Threatens to beat Jay up for supposedly liking a gay bar.
- Played by Theo Barklem-Biggs
- Played by Lauren O'Rourke
- Death of the Hypotenuse: Neil cheats on her with numerous women before settling with Lisa
- Played by Emily Berrington
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: In spite of the fact that Ben is a complete asshole, she can't help but be physically attracted to him.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: A case could be made for this, as she's stringing Will along while carrying on with Ben in an on/off relationship, despite the fact that she despises him.
- Genki Girl: She's highly energetic and gets even moreso with alcohol.
- The Tease: She is constantly kissing Will, even though she has a thing going on with Ben.
- Remember the New Guy: She was at school with Will before he transferred to Rudge Park. She doesn't quite count as a New Old Flame, as they were never together, but Will does mention that she was his first love.
- Who Wears Short Shorts?: She constantly wears hot pants, when she isn't outright stripped down to just a bikini.
- Played by Freddie Stroma
- Bourgeois Bohemian: Will identifies Ben as a trust fund baby who is probably traveling on his parents' dime but is an utter hypocrite in his views on wealth.
- Hipster: He's got the whole anti-mainstream thing going for him, especially during his Establishing Character Moment when he thinks that having medical supplies on a tough trek is too touristy.
- Jerkass: He berates Will for simply trying to introduce himself. Katie doesn't even like him, but can't help but be attracted to him. He's not even an in-your-face Jerk Jock lout so much as more of a university snob.
- Mr. Fanservice: He shows off his ripped physique for much of the film.
- Pretty Fly, for a White Guy: His dreadlocks. Will calls him out on being white and blond, noting that dreadlocks make him look pretentious.
- Romantic False Lead: Subverted. He has all the makings of this, but Katie chooses him over Will after he calls them out.