Characters: Team Fortress 2 Offense
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Voiced by: Nathan Vetterlein
An American, with a Bronx accent
, but is really from South Boston
. Wears a team-colored t-shirt, a black messenger bag, cleats, dogtags, and handwraps. Canonically the youngest of eight brothers, son of a single mother, grew up on the streets. Looks and sounds exactly like Vince Offer
, and to some extent even has a similar personality. The fourth class to receive new equipment. Uses a scattergun, a pistol, and a bat. Meet the Scout!
The Scout provides examples of:
- Actor Allusion: The Scout stole a line from Left 4 Dead's "church guy" as of his update. Obviously, they both share a voice actor.
- American Accents: Boston, although he sounds like he's from Brooklyn (which is intended).
- Animal Motifs: Rabbits. He's fast and he has buck teeth. The following domination lines support this:
Demoman: "You're like a little bunny...scurryin' around, eatin' up yer lettuce and berries!"
Engineer: "Just a dead little jackrabbit."
Spy: "Ooh, you were quick as a little bunny, weren't you?"
- Attention Whore: Several of his lines are some variant of "LOOK AT ME!"
- Badass Boast:
"Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda... I hurt people. I'm a force of nature. If you were from where I'm from, you would be ***ing
- Batter Up: Being a baseball fan, his default melee weapon is an aluminum bat, and a few of his unlockables are bats as well. It's even the name of one of the Scout's achievements (Perform 1000 double jumps).
- Big "OMG!": In "Meet the Sandvich".
- Body Horror: Has a live bird sealed in his chest after surgery, that was never removed. On rare occasions, when he gets gibbed, the bird will fly out unharmed.
- We can safely assume that the Medic cut his favorite dove, Archimedes, out of the Scout's chest without bothering with anaesthesia roughly five seconds after the screen faded to black at the end of Meet the Medic. We see Archimedes again later, for example in the Mann vs. Machine comics.
- Bratty Half-Pint: Just listen to his lines for about 5 seconds. It's a fair guess that he's meant to sound annoying.
- Backstory-wise: he's the runt of eight children (referred to as "his mad-dog brothers").
- Brooklyn Rage: Even though he's from Boston, it certainly counts.
- Buffy Speak
- Caffeine Bullet Time: Of a sort. His Bonk! Atomic Punch allows the scout to "dodge" all damage for a short period of time, while also being unable to attack.
- Casanova Wannabe: Not so much in-game due to a distinct lack of females, but in the online comics he hits on nigh-on every woman he sees, with zero success.
- One of the pages for the Halloween 2012 update includes a dating advert that's obviously written by the Scout - the gratuitous amounts of self-praise mean it couldn't have been made by anyone else.
- Charles Atlas Superpower: The Scout trained himself to run everywhere, originally so he could reach fights in time to have some fun before his seven older brothers got there. By the game's scale, he's running at about 10 meters a second — as fast as an Olympic sprinter (about 22.3694 MPH) — perpetually. And that's not taking into account his jumping abilities.
- Companion Cube: Becomes very attached to the Haunted Hat during the 2013 Scream Fortress event, even talking to it and treating it like a friend and teammate.
Just you an' me, scary hat.
- Deadly Dodging: A Scout under the effects of the Bonk! Atomic Punch drink can use his bullet-dodging state to kill Engineers with their own Sentry Guns, and to kill explosive-using classes by forcing them to take self-damage.
- Difficult but Awesome: Unskilled Scouts die quickly, but skilled ones rack up the bodies and capture points. His playstyle requires quick reflexes, constant movement, and in-depth knowledge of the map, as well as good aim since he has to keep moving while shooting to stay alive. He is hard to control for many veteran FPS players, due to his ludicrous speed. On the other hand, truly veteran FPS players might get a sense of nostalgia from the quick movement and emphasis on dodging attacks rather than soaking them up.
- Double Jump: One of his special abilities. Certain equipment can improve this skill, giving him a third jump at the cost of some health, a Recoil Boost, and increased jump height.
- A recent patch changed the Soda Popper's effect from granting mini-crits to enabling a quintuple jump. However, this takes up the same slot as the aforementioned Force-a-Nature and doesn't stack with the Atomizer.
- Eat My Dust: One of his lines.
- Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Seems to be fond of his. "Look at me, ma!"
- Extra! Extra! Read All About It!: "Extra! Extra! You're frickin' dead!"
- Fan Nickname: "Scoot".
- Fiery Redhead: Some of the comics depict him with red hair, while his in-game model has brown hair.
- Fourth Wall Observer: One has to wonder where he picked up the word "ragequit". Yes, he actually does tell his domination victims to ragequit.
- Fragile Speedster:
- Of the four classesnote with only 125 HP, Scout is the only one made for direct confrontation, but he more than makes up for this with blinding speed and agility. His scatter gun does over 100 damage point-blank in a game where only one class has more than 200 health.
- It's also worth knowing that if he's equipped with the two weapons from the Pyromania update, Baby Face's Blaster and Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol, that changes; he becomes the third-slowest class until you get boost from dealing damage and can't jump without resetting it (though the Pistol adds 15 health and prevents you from taking fall damage, though fire damages you more), but if it's fully charged, the Scout becomes nearly impossible to catch (it doesn't hurt that the Blaster is more accurate, despite doing a little less damage).
- Grievous Harm with a Body: See Improbable Weapon User below
- Handwraps of Awesome
- Hit-and-Run Tactics
- Hidden Depths: Some of the Scout's lines hint that he may be smarter than he lets on: He seems to know about the Hippocratic Oath ("Where's ya precious hippo-crates now?") and have read some of the works of H.P. Lovecraft ("There's some eldritch horror, H. P. Dumb-craft!").
- Given that the Medic owns a marble bust of Hippocrates, the Scout probably heard the Medic mention the term. And then made fun of it.
- I Am Not Spock: Watching Nathan Vetterlein's unkemptpubes channel on YouTube, it's pretty clear he's gotten pissed off at fans only asking him questions about Scout when his real goal is to be a comedian, not necessarily a voice actor. He doesn't hate the role, though, and he's mentioned he's not adverse to playing Scout again.
- I Fell for Hours: One of his responses for falling into the pit in the Halloween version of Lakeside.
- I Have Brothers: Rare male example. He's the youngest of his family's eight sons.
- I Love Nuclear Power: His Bonk! Atomic Punch energy drink is described this way in his update:
"Bonk! is fulla radiation, which as we all know is pretty great for givin' people superpowers."
- Improbable Weapon User: The Wrap Assassin is a roll of wrapping paper and a Chri—uh, Smissmas Ornament that causes the target to bleed. The Candy Cane causes Scout's victims to drop health packs. And then there's the Unarmed Combat, which is actually the Spy's severed arm used as a bludgeon. There's also the Fan O'War, a Japanese war fan that does Scratch Damage, but causes all hits on that opponent to be minicrits for the next 15 seconds.
- Inherently Funny Words: BONK!
- Jerkass: In his Meet The Team video, he constantly toots his own horn and generally acts like a narcissist. The comics show he's not the nicest guy even to his own teammates either, like when he rats out Soldier in the Smissmas comic or mocks Heavy for giving Sasha her own bed.
- Lean and Mean
- Lightning Bruiser: In Mann vs. Machine mode, the Scout gains 20-50 health every time he picks up a pile of money. The limit on how much health this can add is rather absurd; it's not uncommon to see a Scout running around with more health than an overhealed Heavy.
- Stone Wall: On the other hand, Scouts lack the damage output required to complete the waves in MvM, so their role is relegated into money collection and marking the Giant Robots.
- Motor Mouth: Once talked for at least five hours on end.
- Must Have Caffeine: In an early trailer, his motto simply reads "Too. Much. Caffeine." Plus, two of his unlockable weapons are energy drinks.
- Obnoxious Snarker: He's a Small Name, Big Ego Attention Whore with a Motor Mouth from Boston. Of course he's this.
- Oh Crap: Variations of this when Crit-A-Cola wears off and if he's being hit while trying to chug Bonk! Atomic Punch when his health is in the red.
- Pastimes Prove Personality
- Pet the Dog: In the 2011 Halloween comic, he kneels down to eye level with one of the kids and gives him a tooth that he beat out of someone with his bat.
Hey there, slugger. C'mere. You are gonna love this. You see this bat? Bam! That... is a human molar. From some dummy with a big mouth that used to be fulla teeth. It's all yours, little talkin' France.
- He's also quick to defend the kids at the mall when Old Nick arrives to kidnap them.
- Pintsized Powerhouse: Being the youngest member of the team doesn't stop him from bashing in an enemy merc's head with his Sandman or blowing their brains out with a Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol.
- Power-Up Magnet: The Auto Innate type in Mann vs Machine, which helps the Scout collect credits and be more useful as Scouts don't tend be good on defense.
- Psychotic Smirk: Dude, chill...◊
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "I! EAT! YOUR! SANDVICHES! I EAT 'EM UP!"
- Roadrunner PC: As mentioned previously, his speed makes his style of combat reminiscent of early First-Person Shooters where you're faster than anyone else, except with lower health and fewer enemies.
- The Runt at the End
- Satisfied Street Rat
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: "Wanananana!", "Bonk!", and a bunch after drinking Bonk! Atomic Punch. He also says "Bonk!" in one of his taunts.
- Screams Like a Little Girl: In "Meet The Sandvich" and one of his responses to a ghost. And again in "The Sound of Medicine".
- Self-Deprecation: One of his responses to getting a rare gun drop in Mann vs. Machine mode:
"For the first time in my life, I'm at a loss for words."
- Sir Swears-a-Lot
- Small Name, Big Ego: Even with "Scout" as the only identifier of his name, he has about the same ego and notoriety as Cirno.
- Street Smart: The comics and certain Valve-written item descriptions make it clear that the Scout never finished High School and is in general pretty stupid. He is full of "brilliant ideas" that sometimes turn out to work more out of luck than planning (like using his mercenary money for buying Tom Jones memorabilia). His ego, though, leads him to think he knows everything.
- The All-American Boy: Viciously parodied. Scout loves baseball, his ma, and bashin' people's heads in.
- Too Slow: Some of his lines mock the enemy for being too slow.
- Trademark Favorite Food: That Bonk! Atomic Punch makes him quite hyperactive.
- You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!: One of his actual lines in the game.
- You Have Researched Breathing: The "Baseball Bill's Sports Shine" is an item that removes Scout's hat and headset.
- Verbal Tic: The words "yo" and "frickin'".
- Vague Age: Subverted - Many fans guessed that the Scout was around 16-20. According to the description for the Track Terrorizer jacket, he's at least 23note note .
"Real" name: Sergeant-Barrister Jane Doe
Voiced by: Rick May
A Boisterous Bruiser
and a Drill Sergeant Nasty
. American, thinks Sun Tzu is something of a Memetic Badass
, talks like a cross between George C Scott
and R. Lee Ermey
in Full Metal Jacket
, wears fatigues and an ill-fitting helmet in team color. Wanted to "do his bit" in World War II, but was rejected from every
service in the American military after being found too mentally unstable even for national service
— so he self-financed a one-man rampage across Europe with the intention to kill "Nazis" and "Communists", starting in 1945 after the Germans had surrendered
and not stopping until 1949 when someone managed to track him down in Poland and convince him that the war had ended.
He shared his class update
alongside the Demoman, similar to the Sniper versus Spy
update. The WAR!
comic conclusively revealed that he was never in the Army (his personal Berserk Button
), as well as the Soldier's lifestyle; the BLU Soldier lived in a shabby, windowless apartment filled with weapons and weapon magazines, ready to kill any visitor who wasn't a tomato soup salesman or a roast rib deliveryman. The RED Soldier once shared an apartment with Merasmus the Magician, an actual immortal wizard from Scotland, until Merasmus evicted his lodger for being lazy and stealing Merasmus' belongings. The Soldier might have a heart condition (or think he has one) even after the heart-valve surgery, as hinted at by him eating Merasmus' Kill Me Come Back Stronger
pills because he thought they were heart medication, and one of his voice lines for the Halloween 2013 Helltower
map has him yelling, "I am having a heart attack!"
Uses a rocket launcher, a shotgun, and a shovel. Meet the Soldier!
The Soldier provides examples of:
- Achievements in Ignorance: Including building a functional rocket launcher and an effective robot disguise out of garbage.
- American Accents: Drill Sergeant, apparently from the Midwestern states.
- Artistic License - History: If this post about Abraham Lincoln is part of his interior monologue.
- Awesome yet Practical: Rocket Jumping. It's satisfying as hell to finally pull it off consistently after practicing, and even more so to start landing exactly where you want and pull off fancy maneuvers mid-air. It's also practical for increasing the mobility/deadliness of the Soldier, to the point where anyone who has not learned how to rocket jump can only be called a decent Soldier at best.
- Awesome, but Impractical: In practice, any strategy heavily relying on the Market Gardener or the Mantreads isn't suited to deal with most situations and is a risky strategy for dealing with medium to large-sized groups. It's still satisfying and fun to come blasting out of nowhere and make an enemy go CRUNCH though.
- Ax-Crazy: Why he was rejected from the Armed Forces.
- Bad Bad Acting: When he's trying to coax Merasmus out of hiding.
"Oh hello, Merlin, the famous magician! Noooo, I have not seen Merasmus. What's that? Noooo, I can't think of anyone who'd want an autograph."
"Oh hello, Gundorf! Where's Blasbo Babbins? Oh there he is! Everyone's here! Labalos, Gimpy, Dumpy, Snoopy...
um... Man, I wish Merasmus was around to see this magical turn of events!"
"Oh look, it's Houdini. What's that Houdini? You looking for a new best friend? Too bad there's no wizards around... get out here, Merasmus!"
"What's that, Merasmus's favorite actor, Burt Lancaster? You think people who hide are cowards? Wise words, Burt Lancaster. You've convinced all of us-... damn it Merasmus, get out here!"
- Badass Bandolier: Including two semi-cosmetic frag grenades. You can only use one of them in a suicidal explosion if you've got the Equalizer equipped.
- Berserk Button: Do not call him a civilian.
- Blinding Bangs: The Battle Bob promotional hat.
- Boisterous Bruiser: "You are not welcome in MY WORLD!"
- Bond One-Liner: Many of his killing spree voice notes qualify. "Time to inform YOUR NEXT OF KIN!"
- Book Dumb/Genius Ditz: The only thing Jane Doe is good at is War and Killing. Many of his battle tactics defy all logic.
- However, the "Grave Matters" comic reveals that he's actually a lawyer and an exorcist (just not in New Mexico), as well as a priest (but only in Guam).
- Admittedly, we only have Soldier's own word for that, and Soldier's delusional personal reality often doesn't match external reality. He has also for a time been employed as a park ranger for a Racoon Wildlife Reserve (= Meramus' castle) and as a tourist guide, without any apparent training, simply by pretending to be one.
- Captain Obvious / Parrot Exposition:
Administrator: Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! RED Spy is in the base!
BLU Soldier: A RED SPY IS IN THE BASE?!
Administrator: Protect the Briefcase!
BLU Soldier: WE NEED TO PROTECT THE BRIEFCASE!
- Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys: Dominating Spies will have the Soldier taunt them while generally mentioning their French nationality. One calls the Spy a "rifle-dropping coward", another has him say, "Your white flag does not stop American bullets". Think not of how the latter would be a war crime, and remember that the Soldier isn't too sane.
- One of his Achievements is "Geneva Contravention", which literally makes you kill 3 unarmed people. Granted, he's not exactly in the army.
- Chekhov's Gun: His robot Halloween outfit turns out to be useful in fooling Grey Mann's robots initially.
- Cigar Chomper: Seen smoking a cigar in the Mann vs. Machine trailer, and he has a cigar as a cosmetic item.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Whatever's in Soldier's head would probably not be reciprocated by too many people. For instance, his historical accounts are rather off from what you should know though other background material in Team Fortress 2 frequently states odd history such as that as well. He also keeps severed heads of his enemies to line up and act Drill Sergeant Nasty to.
- Colonel Kilgore
- Companion Cube: His enemies' severed heads.
- Also the Larval Lid, a Halloween-restricted hat in the form of a giant botfly maggot (that may or may not be alive) growing from his head. Triggers special voice lines of Soldier conversing with his buddy the "brain maggot" when equipped.
- Crazy Enough to Work: With the Mann Vs. Machine update, he came up with the idea of creating a decoy facility for the robots to attack. And it worked.
- Crazy Homeless Person: As of the Pyromania update, the Soldier seems to be one. The blurbs and descriptions of the update's set's items imply that he thinks of his tinfoil-lined helmet and two soup cans as good friends. The helmet has foil in it so no one can steal his "valuable tramp-thoughts".
- Crazy Jealous Guy[/]If I Can't Have You[/]Yandere: In the "Unhappy Returns" comic, Jane tracks down Merasmus to Tom Jones' house, murdering the singer in cold blood when he finds out Tom Jones is Merasmus' new roommate. When Merasmus asks why, Jane says:
- Crazy-Prepared/The Cuckoolander Was Right: Apparently he always knew a robot attack would happen, and has taken measures to prepare for this. Then again, one of these measures was staring down a toaster for several months to "get inside its mind", so effectiveness is debatable.
- Crazy Survivalist: The BLU Soldier apparently lived in a windowless apartment with a barricaded door, several hundred cans of army surplus soup, and a pile of "Guns and Haircuts" magazines.
- Death from Above: Rocket jumping allows the Soldier to fly to great heights from which he can rain down rockets upon his enemies. The Gunboats greatly reduce the self-damage taken from rocket jumping, allowing Soldiers to perform bombing runs with high frequency, while the Mantreads let him actually land on enemies to damage them. There's an achievement for killing a number of players from above.
- And now, with the Beggar's Bazooka, Gunboats, and some creativity, he can act as a living airstrike.
- Diminishing Returns for Balance: Subverted. While in most cases, a single-class team will expose themselves to a certain type of weakness (all-Scouts are vulnerable to Sentry Guns, all-Heavies to Spies & Snipers, all-Snipers/Spies just plain won't work), an all-Soldier team can literally blast anything short of an Ubercharge apart with a salvo of rocket barrage. The other class which comes close is the Demoman.
- Unless they're opposed by a team full of airblasting Pyros and Engineers with the Short Circuit gun which disintegrates projectiles.
- Dirty Communists: What he thinks of the enemy Heavy.
- Difficult but Awesome: Rocket jumping. A lot of people see it as just a typical advantage that Soldiers and Demos have, but when you can blast all the way across the map in five seconds (as showcased in the openings to these tutorials) and even beat out the Scout with enough practice, it becomes clear how useful it really is.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: Very similar to Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket, and even more psychotic than his team.
- Dumb Muscle: Generally portrayed as the least intelligent, and possibly lowest-ranking, member of the team, but due to his loose cannon nature, it's implied that it's generally easier on the Team to let him believe whatever won't get the rest of them killed:
A man whose combat strategies are so complex, so nuanced, that they have never been used on the field of battle, even though Heavy told him they would try them out last week.
- The "Unhappy Returns" comic implies his stupidness is because of lead poisoning, as he didn't know about the water bottles the mercs were given so they wouldn't drink lead-contaminated water.
- Eagleland: The Soldier marinates himself with Flavor #2.
- Embarrassing First Name: Mister Jane. That's right, not "Captain Jane" or "Corporal Jane" or even "Private Jane". Just MISTER Jane.
- Eskimos Aren't Real: Invoked to goad his enemies on. The Soldier will declare that Scotland is not a real country, and thus the Scottish Demoman is actually "an Englishman in a dress".
- Eye-Obscuring Hat: Has a helmet as his default headwear, and it was tilted in a way that his eyes aren't visible. While there are many hats the soldier can wear that can show his eyes, there are also other hats that also obscure them.
- And once you have seen Soldier's crazy eyes, you will agree that this is a good thing.
- Fan Nickname: "Solly".
- Fluffy Tamer: Whether it's rabid raccoons, bald eagles, or giant brain-eating maggots, Soldier seems to be genuinely fond of animals.
- Friend to All Children: He's tough, but he took three kids trick-or-treating on Halloween, and didn't hesitate to defend the children of Teufort from Old Nick.
- From Nobody to Nightmare: Somehow he went from being rejected by every branch of the military, having no training, and being unable to locate Poland on a map to personally killing over 6000 people during and after WW2.
- Gender-Blender Name: His name is apparently Mister Jane Doe.
- General Ripper: Aside from the Pyro, the Soldier is probably the most dangerously unstable, fanatically violent character in the whole team of lunatics.
- Historical Character Confusion: In Meet the Soldier, he attributes the story of Noah's Ark to Sun Tzu instead.
Soldier: "Then he [Sun Tzu] used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one!"
"You cannot burn me. I am already ablaze with passion for war!"
- Hypocritical Humor: A Pyro domination line goes, "Fire is for cooking s'mores, son; get a REAL GUN." This coming from the guy whose primary is a rocket launcher (not technically a gun) and whose secondary default is a shotgun (the same as the Pyro).
- Idiot Savant: Soldier's grip on tactics, language, logic, and basic sanity is very suspect and he's never actually been in the military, but he did manage to figure out how to use his weaponry without killing himself or getting killed fighting in World War II (and then probably many more unfortunate random invididuals around Europe who were subject to his attacks four years after the war ended) and now survives working as a mercenary fighting against other mercenaries hardened by possibly (marginally) more legitimate means.
- Innocently Insensitive: Jane's Funny Schizophrenia leaves him unable to comprehend that burning Merasmus' body just might piss Merasmus off.
- Irony: The Soldier has made his disdain towards hippies and long hair (read: anything longer than a buzz cut) clear. There's also a promotional hat in the form of unusual-looking long hair for the Soldier.
- It's All About Me: Capturing points or intelligence noticeably has him stress in his lines that they're his.
- Jack-of-All-Stats: The Soldier simply isn't included in most counter cycles, and his weapons and stats are fairly straightforward. That, and his weapons make him comfortable to Quake arena players.
- This is not to suggest he's not a valuable player; the Soldier is a vital staple in competitive play once Rocket Jumping is mastered.
- Juggling Dangerously: His taunts with non-Shotgun secondaries involve him juggling two grenades from his bandolier and a rocket.
- Large Ham
- Malaproper: The supplemental comics have him replacing words with other words that sound similar, for instance, 'pepper-pants' when he had meant to say 'pepper pot' and 'salsa' instead of 'salty.' In the game, he seems unable to correctly pronounce anything related to literature, if his constant mangling of the names of characters from Lord of the Rings and the Bombinomicon is any indication. He always sounds like he's close to what he means to say, but it's patently clear he's just spouting gibberish syllables.
- Misery Builds Character: As the Soldier says, "Pain is weakness leaving the body!"
- Monster Roommate: RED Soldier's former roommate is an immortal spellcasting wizard! (Admittedly not a very powerful one.)
- Moral Myopia: To the Soldier, it's only a war crime if the enemy team does it. (Just like real-world politics, then.)
- Never Learned to Read: In the comic Unhappy Returns Miss Pauling claims that some of the mercenaries are illiterate. It's heavily implied that this refers to the Soldier and the Pyro, as we've seen the other characters being able to read and some of them canonically have academic grades (i.e. the Engineer, the Medic, and the Heavy in Poker Night at the Inventory).
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The reason the teams have been fighting otherworldly beings on Halloween for the past two years? This genius decided to tick off an evil wizard both years. Yep, the main reason these characters are fighting for their lives on Halloween is entirely the Soldier's fault.
Soldier: "Then I told the mighty ghost wizard, 'Ha! I'd like to see you try!'. And that is why he's killing all of us right now!"
Scout: "I gotta admit, that DOES sorta explain everything."
- No Indoor Voice
- One-Liner, Name... One-Liner: When the Tin Soldier set is equipped, upon getting a Revenge Kill, the Soldier may say:
"Beep boop son, beep boop."
- One-Man Army: He was (or, at least, claimed to be) one of these from 1945 to 1949. It's officially stated his killing spree ended four years after the war ended, so how many of his kills weren't bewildered civilians is unclear.
- Also, by his own claim he spent some time in Guam; knowing him, it was years after the USA had recaptured Guam in 1944.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Almost taken literally in that it's his cardboard Halloween costume.
- Parrot Exposition: See Captain Obvious above.
- Patriotic Fervor: Taken to the extreme for Rule of Funny.
- Perma Stubble
- Pet the Dog:
- In this Halloween comic, if the Soldier's line about being on the lam with the kids is just an attempt to get candy, it's quite touching to see the merciless military man putting on a goofy costume and taking some kids trick or treating with him. If it isn't, he's still trying to keep them fed.
- In an outtake of Meet the Medic, the BLU Soldier holds a dying teammate in his arms. Quickly turns into Kick the Dog when he gets run over by a train.
- Like the Scout, he saves the kids of Teufort from being kidnapped.
- Phony Veteran: Contrary to his claims, he has never served in an army, and all those medals he has are self-awarded. However, he did acquire a flight to Poland (in 1945!) on his own initiative, though most of the years in Europe were spent killing civilians because he didn't know the war was over.
- Pitiful Worms: He sure loves to call people maggots and spineless worms.
- Primal Chest-Pound: His taunt with The Direct Hit and the Beggar's Bazooka.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: He does this quite a bit.
"Stand! On! The! Point! Numbnuts!"
"I! Am! On! FIRE!!!"
- Religious Bruiser: He claims he is a priest. In Guam.
- The Remnant: According to his official bio, after being rejected from all branches of the military, Soldier flew to Europe on his own and embarked on a 'Nazi killing spree', which ended when he heard news of the war's end. In 1949.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Sometimes, especially when he's on a kill streak. Also, if he has the Tin Soldier costume set on, he goes "Beep beep boop" and occasionally "Robot noises!" while firing a weapon.
- His first reaction to finding a shipment of space ray guns is to pose dramatically and yell "PEW PEW PEW!"
- The Scourge of God: "If God had wanted you to live, he would not have created ''me''!"
- Sergeant Rock
- Shovel Strike: While using either the standard shovel or the Market Gardener.
- Serious Business: Almost to the point of being the team "Stop Having Fun" Guy.
- Smarter Than You Look: The Soldier is more eloquent in his blog posts than one might expect from someone who can't spell "heads" or "weapons" right.
- In "Doom-mates", he manages to evict Merasmus from his own castle to keep it for himself, using only sour cream and racoons. Of course, this might have worked a lot better if Merasmus wasn't a wizard, but it's still pretty impressive for someone who blows himself up on a regular basis.
- In "Ring of Fired", he is the only one who sees through Miss Pauling's ridiculously Paper-Thin Disguise.
- Sociopathic Soldier
- Taught by Experience: Managed to survive learning to fight after getting to Europe alone while untrained and unaffiliated to the U.S. because they wouldn't accept him. Granted, he "fought" for four years after World War 2 had ended.
- Team Pet: In the Fourth Annual Halloween Special, he adopts a ton of raccoons. Wild ones that bite him and subsist on rancid sour cream he stole from his former roommate's house, but oh well.
- Testosterone Poisoning: According to the Soldier, true men get haircuts, yell, eat ribs, do pushups, and defend hills. Any person who doesn't do these activities every waking moment is a pansy.
- They Killed Kenny Again: The BLU Soldier is killed in every Meet the Team video.
- Trademark Favourite Food: Captain Dan's army surplus soup. And ribs.
- Your Brain Won't Be Much of a Meal: Says this about himself when he has the Larval Lid hat equipped.
- Your Mom: In Mann vs. Machine mode, he may use a variant of a well-known insult and may be a reference to Full Metal Jacket:
Soldier: The best part of you ran down your motherboard.
- We All Live in America: Sort of. The Shadow Boxers comic shows us that he thinks all his teammates are American. At least his teammates are well aware of this fact and use it to their advantage. Granted, it really doesn't take much work to keep their foreign-birth a secret.
Heavy: Ha ha! Germany! Russia! Is big joke! Big American joke! On Soldier!
Soldier: Ha! You got me!
Heavy: Ohh, America. It is the place I am from. All the time.
- Would Hit a Girl: When the Administrator comes with the proposition of killing his best friend, Soldier threatens to shove his boot so far up her ass, it'll be on the news. Also prepares to threaten the female Apple Store assistant with the same before being interrupted by a pig cooking tool.
Voiced by: Dennis Bateman
Race, nationality, and gender
unknown as the Pyro dresses in a head-to-toe fireproof suit in the team color, and a face-obscuring gas mask
which muffles their voice
. The second class to receive new achievements and weapons. Uses a flamethrower, a shotgun, and a fire axe. Meet the Pyro!
The Pyro provides examples of:
- Air Guitar: One of his melee weapon taunts.
- Ambiguously Gay: Back before Meet the Pyro, the pink purse found in his closet as well as some of his mannerisms brought speculation on his sexuality, if not gender.
- Ambiguous Gender: Word of God is that there is no answer to whether the Pyro is male or female, so this trope gets played around with a lot. A past update would display random challenges on the title screen for the player to perform with the monicker, "Give him a shot!" referring to the class the challenge was about. When a challenge was issued for the Pyro, the pronoun "Him" could randomly change to "Her" or even "It".
- In Meet the Pyro, Heavy says 'I fear no man, but that thing... it scares me.' Scout, on the other hand, refers to the Pyro as 'he' (but the caption for the line is "He's not here, is she?").
- In Matt Hazard: Blood Bath & Beyond, there is a specific level that has Shout Outs to numerous video games, primarily TF2. In the middle of the stage, there are two outhouses in the background, one for the men, and one for the Pyro.
- In Meet The Spy, we see an alerts board (Intruder Alert, Red Spy, In Base). But under the words "Red Pyro" are two alerts, one labeled "Is A Man" and the other labeled "Is A Woman".
- And elsewhere on the same board, "Is A Robot".
- And Call Him George
- Attack Reflector: Among other uses, properly-timed compression blasts return projectile (rockets, grenades, arrows, jars, flares, and even baseballs) weapons to the sender.
- Badass Driver: How the Pyro is depicted in Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed, being the driver of the team's kart. Guess the Pyro is the Stig...
- Barrier Warrior: The Pyro's compression blast generates a small reflective shield in front of the nozzle.
- Beware the Silly Ones
- Blithe Spirit: At least, that's how he sees it...
- Boring, but Practical: The Pyro has a lot of utility apart from the much more fun business of Kill It with Fire, like extinguishing teammates and Spy-checking. A good Pyro guarding an Engineer's buildings can easily detect and kill enemy Spies, shoo away invulnerable enemies, reflect projectiles, and even destroy sappers if equipped with the Homewrecker, making them a nigh-unstoppable combo. However, pairing up with an Engineer tends to mean a lot of waiting around, since you'll usually be far behind the battlefield.
- Catch and Return: The compression blast can deflect almost all projectiles, including Jarate, Mad Milk, baseballs, baubles, explosives, arrows, flares, and eyes. A skilled Pyro can reflect them back so they hit enemies.
- Character Tics: Flicking a lighter on and off, judging by the waiting room scene in Meet the Medic. This is a popular stereotype for any pyromaniac... although with the Meet The Pyro movie release, who knows what he's seeing?
- According to the "Ring Of Fired" comic, he sees fire as rainbows and bright lights. So maybe he just wants everyone to taste the rainbow?
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: "Meet the Pyro" shows that his view of the world is... odd. Word of God states that he lives in a fantasy world known as Pyroland. It does have a darker, more mundane version which is applied whenever he is not gleefully burning things... Which is still pretty weird compared to how others view the world.
- Close Range Combatant: The Pyro is very strong and can take damage, but lacks range.
- Cute and Psycho: A worrying combination of enthusiastic childish cheerfulness and rampant wanton arson.
- Difficult but Awesome:
- Many players overlook the "ambush" aspect of playing a Pyro. But the Backburner, mocked by some, always Crits from behind and can kill in seconds with a steady blast, while the Axtinguisher always Crits burning enemies. Setting a foe on fire and then sinking the Axtinguisher into them can kill most enemies in one hit.
- Pyros who master the compression blast become Ax-Crazy pyromancers who can reflect projectiles back at opponents (including arrows fired from Sniper bows, but not the syringes fired by Medics), use opponents' rockets to Rocket Jump themselves up, relocate sticky bombs to inconvenient locations, block the advancement of ‹berCharged combos and separate Medics from their teammates, and put out fires on teammates. Just see this.
- Pyros with a good grasp of level design, enemy movements, patience, timing, and sheer insane dedication to bringing Death from Above can literally drop down on someone, set them on fire, and kill most of the other classes in a single swing of the Axtinguisher before they can react. Notably, this allows them to single-handedly kill other Pyros instantly with the Axtinguisher, which is otherwise almost impossible.
- Pyros can remove level one sentries with a steady stream of fire faster than most Range weapons, and are great at spy-checking.
- Dissonant Serenity: In True Meaning, the Pyro doesn't appear to be too shaken by a rocket that crashed into the Engineer's house, barely missing the two.
- In "Meet the Pyro", it's shown that the Pyro sees himself giving lollipops, bubbles, and happiness to cherubs, skipping around happily in a burning city.
- The Dreaded: As shown in "Meet the Pyro", even his own team is terrified of him. Even the Spy muses on what could fuel such a desire for destruction.
- Everyone Calls Him Barkeep/No Name Given: To an even greater extent than the other classes. Even when off duty, the Engineer (Dell Conagher) calls him/her Pyro.
- The Faceless: Nobody knows what's under that mask... yet. In the character model, the Pyro's head is the mask.
- Featureless Protagonist: Nobody has ever seen what the Pyro looks like under that asbestos suit, and the shapelessness of the suit itself doesn't give you much to work with either.
- Funny Schizophrenia: The Meet the Pyro video shows us that he thinks he's playing with cherubs in a Sugar Bowl, and his flamethrower is a Magitek rainbow dispenser built out of a music box, a garden hose, and a cluster of trumpet bells. He sees his Flare Gun, in turn, as a bubble wand, and hears the screams of terror and agony as joyful giggling.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With the Engineer - and with a question mark on 'Heterosexual'. They apparently live together. When a rocket crashed into their house, the Engineer half-joked that they may have just adopted a super-baby. This mirrors their relationship in-game; no Engineer is complete without a Pyro.
- Hidden Depths: Pyro is apparently competent enough to earn companies millions of dollars if he can just calm down long enough.
- High-Class Glass: Part of the Pyro's miscellaneous item, the "Whiskered Gentleman".
- Hit-and-Run Tactics: Smart Pyro players know when to chase enemies down and when to ambush, set them on fire, then get the hell out of there.
- I Am Not Left-Handed: From the first-person perspective, Pyro wields all two-handed melee weapons as if he was left-handed. The critical animations simply have him use his right hand for most of the force instead of the left.
- Idiot Savant: Variously described by the others as a "mutant", a "whack-job", a "mumbling abomination", and a "mental deficient", the Pyro inspirationally makes up for whatever he may lack in social skills by being an expert at inflicting burning agony upon others.
- Played to the hilt in "Ring of Fired", as after being fired as a mercenary, Pyro managed to become a super-successful CEO of an engineering firm — while still wearing the mask and asbestos suit!
- Improbable Weapon User: Some of his melee weapons. He has the usual selection of axes and sledgehammers, such as the Axtinguisher and the Homewrecker, but the Pyro also uses improvised weapons like a gardening rake, a car battery attached to a car jack, a giant lollipop, and, giving new meaning to the word "hotmail", a mailbox.
- Innocent Inaccurate: Everyone knows that the Pyro spreads fiery death and destruction and is feared by all. Everyone, it seems, except the Pyro himself.
- Irony: His stock melee weapon, a fire axe, and two of his hats, the Brigade Helm and Vintage Merryweather, which are both fire helmets.
- Kamehame Hadoken: One of the Pyro's taunts. Is also capable of an instant kill on multiple enemies if you are lucky enough.
- Kill It with Fire
- Kryptonite Is Everywhere: Methods for putting out fire have increased in number by the day, making afterburn not even half as menacing as it used to be. To this date, 5 out of 9 classes have items that immediately put out a fire (the Scout's Mad Milk, the Pyro's airblast and Manmelter alt-fire, the Heavy's Sandviches, the Sniper's Jarate, and the Spy's Dead Ringer); the Medic has intrinsic health regeneration that almost neutralizes the afterburn, his Medigun renders it irrelevant on the healed teammate, and activating a normal ‹berCharge extinguishes fire; the Demoman's shields give him great resistance to fire; and the Spy's Spy-cicle makes him outright immune.
- And now the Chargin' Targe gives Demomen immunity to afterburn, making it 6 out of 9.
- Leeroy Jenkins: His ability to set people on fire while charging forward has many new players scrambling to pick this class.
- Lethal Joke Character: The Pyro is the stereotypical noob class, and playing him can result in derision from veteran players. He's also been heavily nerfed repeatedly, and other classes surpass him in virtually all areasnote . Yet see Difficult but Awesome above for a taste of what a skilled Pyro can do. Additionally, the Pyro is great at spychecking — Pyros do it so often on reflex that most cloaked Spies flat out run if they see one coming, even if they're just passing through.
- Lightning Bruiser:
- Has the highest health/speed balance of all the classes. 100% of baseline speed, with 175 health; only three other classes meet or exceed the Pyro's health level, and they're all slower than Pyro. Couple with the major damage that Pyro can do with the flamethrower (albeit at short range, hence the speed), and you have this. Pyros, however, have abysmal range, only some of his secondaries give him any range at all, and those have pitiful damage too. The other three classes on par with the Pyro's health have very high damage rates and can easily shred a Pyro in seconds. So despite having a surprisingly large amount of health, it tends to get eaten up pretty quickly.
- During the Mann-conomy Update, the Pyro gained the Gas Jockey Gear item set, which boosts his speed in lieu of giving him vulnerabilities to hitscan weapons. This makes him teetering on the edge between Lightning Bruiser and Glass Cannon, as Pyros themselves don't stand much of a chance against Heavies in open combat anyways (Heavies having the most damaging and used hitscan weapons). Against Scouts, Engineers, and Spies, the Pyro's survivability is greatly reduced.
- Limited Wardrobe: Is never seen without the asbestos suit. His trading card bio implies he wears it constantly.
- Taken to extreme levels when it attends board meetings of the very company it is the CEO of in the very same asbestos suit.
- MacGyvering: A running theme with the aesthetic to the Pyro's items. A few of his hats are things that aren't really hats (a toilet plunger, a birdcage, or an old boot). His Degreaser is a flamethrower made with a gas pump, a car muffler, an exhaust pipe, a fire extinguisher, and a stove top burner, while his Powerjack is a car battery tied to an automobile jack.
- The Magazine Rule: At the end of "Meet the Medic", the Pyro is seen reading a magazine called "Man Man"◊, likely a parody of the masculine magazines published in the 50s. The top two headlines read, "Lust-crazed bikini bordellos of the Badlands" and "Chained nudes in the Dustbowl of the damned".
- Master of None: With the right unlocks, he can fulfill most roles on a team, but those roles are better performed by more specialized classes (able to pick targets like a Spy with the Axtinguisher, ambush like a Heavy, return explosives from Soldiers/Demomen, etc.). His potential resides in his versatility and the difficulty for an opponent to figure out a Pyro's loadout and tactics before it's too late.
- Menacing Stroll: In Meet the Pyro, although from his own point of view he is happily skipping around.
- Mr. Imagination
- Mysterious Past: The only character aside from the Spy to have no backstory.
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant
- Not So Different:
- The Backburner Pyro has to sneak around and punishes enemies from behind. Kind of like a Spy...
- Spies and Pyros both have unlockable fake beards. In fact, Spies with the gibus and camera beard are called Spybraham Lincolnnote .
- Pyro and Spy are the only two classes to wear face-concealing masks literally 24/7. They are also the only two classes to act annoyed during Humiliation, as opposed to cowering in fear or cringing in surrender.
- Furthermore, both are described as enigmatic figures with nothing revealed of their past, are thoroughly feared by their enemies and teammates alike, and have a hidden silly side.
- We know all the hometowns of all the classes, except the Spy, who is from an indeterminate region of France, and the Pyro, who is from an indeterminate... regionnote .
- Obliviously Evil: As revealed in Meet the Pyro. To everyone else, the Pyro is a crazed inhuman thing ready to set the world ablaze. But in the Pyro's mind, he's simply making everyone happy by blowing pretty bubbles and rainbows for them.
- Ornamental Weapon: Those napalm grenades are apparently just a style statement. That, or the Pyro really likes bongos.
- Playing with Fire: While his weapon is the flamethrower, the Hadoken and the Rainblower taunt have some... interesting implications.
- Proud to Be a Geek: The Pyro's hats would suggest this, coupled with the game's time period (the 60s) being a hotbed of sci-fi B-movies and Silver Age comics.
- Pyro Maniac: Obviously... or maybe not, seeing as his perception of the world is rather warped.
- Psychopathic Manchild: In "Meet the Pyro", where we get see the battlegrounds from the Pyro's twisted point of view. It's WMG how he ended up like that.
- Required Secondary Powers: The Pyro is fireproof. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be able to run forwards and fire his flamethrower at the same time.
- On a meta-gaming level, Pyro players who know the current map, and can find good spots to strike from, do a lot better than the W+M1 types who tend to simply be cut down before they actually get into range.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: When taunting with a melee weapon.
- Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer: Absent from the Mann VS Machine trailer, along with the Sniper and Spy.
- Situational Sword: Is prone to using these. The Axtinguisher only deals 50% damage to enemies, but deals 100% critical hits to enemies on fire. The Backburner can't score random crits, but does 100% critical damage from behind. The Flare Gun has a pretty tame damage output and a slow projectile speed, but it deals devastating 100% criticals to enemies on fire. The Neon Annihilator does less damage than the stock Fire Axe, but deals 100% criticals to enemies who are wet from standing in water or being hit by Mad Milk/Jarate.
- Skill Gate Characters: When using the aforementioned W+ M1 strategy. A charging Pyro is pretty hard to beat if you can't react fast enough, but it's a minor threat to more skilled/lucky players. He can actually be a lot tougher than people think, especially since Soldiers often forgo their Shotgun in favor of other items. The "Puff 'n Sting" Axtinguisher combo when airblasting requires enemies to be too disoriented in the split second they're in the air to fire and aim at the Pyro, which rarely works against sufficiently skilled players.
- Steam Punk/Gaslamp Fantasy: The Phlogistinator, which works on archaic chemistry. Basically, it shoots pure phlogiston — the chemical that was thought to react with other things to make fire and released when fuel was exposed to heat, before people figured out that was really oxygen reacting to the fuel when exposed to heat.
- The Spook: Nobody knows the Pyro's identity, origin, or even gender.
- Sugar Bowl: How the Pyro views the world — he thinks he skips around firing rainbows and lollipops and bubbles at the world, spreading happiness to little cherubs. In-game, there's an all-class item in the form of special goggles, provided by the same company that also made the Pyro's mask, so every class can see the world as happily as the Pyro.
- Super-Persistent Predator: Just about every W+M1 Pyro will be this, constantly chasing down any enemy they see (including other Pyros) until they're a pile of char.
- Tactical Rock-Paper-Scissors: Forms a very firm one with Spy and Engineer. A Pyro is the best counter for a Spy, who is the bane of the Engineer, who can easily dispatch the range-challenged Pyro.
- This means when a Pyro has the patience to stay with an Engineer, the security of the Engineer becomes a lot better. Even if a Spy does manage to backstab the Engineer and sap a building before being burned to death, a Pyro armed with The Homewrecker can dispatch all sappers in one hit. It also helps that the Pyro can neutralize incoming explosives, meaning only enemy Snipers and Heavies pose a threat, under ideal circumstances.
- Taking You with Me: Very common for dead Pyros to score posthumous kills by afterburn. Two achievements are linked with this; one requiring you to posthumously kill a certain number of players, while another one requires you to kill someone in roughly the same second as they killed you.
- Terror Hero
- Through the Eyes of Madness: As revealed in Meet The Pyro.
- The Unintelligible: The asbestos-lined suit has contributed to the ravaging of the Pyro's lungs and thus obscuring of his voice as much as the famous gas mask itself. Pyro seems to at least know Morse code. (Translated, it reads "Monday", the day the Pyromania Update came out.) And he can whistle.
- Vader Breath
- You Monster!: While the truth is far from it, The Pyro is viewed even by his own teammates as a horrifically cruel monster. Meet The Pyro even shows him viciously slaughtering the BLU team.