The most awesome characters in the world.


[[folder:Main characters]]

!!Sweet Bro

Sweet Bro is the first character introduced. He is known to like VideoGames and is always ready to test new ideas. Portrayed by Creator/BenStiller in the post-Scratch movie series.
* ButtMonkey
* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}
* CordonBleughChef: Who else would put jelly on a hot [[RougeAnglesOfSatin god]]?
* TheFundamentalist: He doesn't accept Jeff's alternate way of praying.
-->No you dumb homo tool, your '''''PRAYING WRONG.'''''
* PermaStubble
* ShonenHair
* TheKlutz: Besides falling down stairs, Sweet Bro has been seen failing various tasks like holding a ruler the right way, putting a spoon in the drawer, pouring milk, and putting on boots.
* TheStoner
* TookALevelInBadass: [[ Big time.]]
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist

!!Hella Jeff

Hella Jeff is the StraightMan of the two. He will usually [[ question]] Sweet Bro's ideas if he finds them a little weird. He likes sports, especially basketball, and has [[ demonstrated]] an intelligence capable of fooling Sweet Bro. Portrayed by Creator/OwenWilson in the post-Scratch movie series.
* AntiHero
* [[DistractedByTheShiny Distacted By The Rank Ass Vent Wind]]
* PantsFree
* StealthExpert He seems to like spying on Sweet Bro, and appears in nooks and crannies effortlessly.
* TheStoner: Not as much as Sweet Bro, but he still tokes up on a joint to make him stoned. Or something.
* UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist


The new friend, introduced in comic #7. Portrayed by Creator/DonaldGlover in the post-Scratch movie series, until Glover was tragically assassinated by [[Characters/HomestuckTheFeltTwo The Batterwtich]].
* BlackBestFriend
* EnsembleDarkhorse: Judging by the assorted polls on the wiki, he is ridiculously more popular than the rest of the cast.
* LivingProp: He never even ''moves''.
* PositiveDiscrimination: Dave's author notes from the print edition make it clear:
-->'''Dave Strider:''' geromy is always the new friend. hes always there and adds much needed racial diversity to these two white assholes who fuck everything up. geromy doesnt fuck anything up because hes perfect. i love geromy.
* TokenMinority (despite being the ''third'' black character to be introduced, after Barack Obana and The Big Man)


[[folder:Secondary characters]]

!!The Big Man

A popular Basketball player.
* HiddenDepths: He has the time to warn the readers about AIDS.
* LadyMondegreen: His name was believed to be "Hass the Rock".

!![[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Obana]]

The president. But the econony is still falling.
* NonstandardCharacterDesign: In a comic filled with poorly-drawn characters, Obana is a poor-quality photo.
* OffTheChart

!!Sweet Bro's Mom

Sweet Bro's [[ParentalIncest kind and loving]] mother.
* BrotherChuck: Disappeared after the second comic, and didn't turn up again until number ''18''.
* MrsRobinson
* MsFanservice
* ReallyGetsAround: She has sex with two guys with quite a very short time inbetween, so this can be assumed.
** And one of them ''[[ParentalIncest was her son]]''!
* TheSmurfettePrinciple: She and The Date are the only female characters seen so far.


* BigFriendlyDog: "hopy SHIT, that dog is ''huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge!''"
* CanineCompanion
* TeamPet

!!Thed Date
A beautiful wonan whom both Bro and Jeff dated. [[{{OT3}} At the same time]]. It didn't exactly go well.
* TheFaceless: According to the book's cover, she's a headless woman with floating arms.
* HugeGirlTinyGuy
* InformedAttribute: Being that she's TheFaceless, we've no idea if Jeff's right about her being a "beautiful wonan".
* ScrewThisImOuttaHere: Presumably.
--> "Stop smelling those sandwinches you HIDEOUS COCK, she's ESCAPING TO THE SIDE."
* TheSmurfettePrinciple: She and Sweet Bro's Mom are the only female character seen so far.

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