The Sphynx (sic)
The strip's mascot. She's over 3000 years old (with the face of a woman a hundredth her age) but still doesn't completely understand humanity. She's friends with Pink Haired Girl.
- Even Evil Has Standards: She was disgusted to find out Oedipus' mother married her own son.
- Blue and Orange Morality, or at least Affably Evil. She tries to follow the rules of society and work within it at times, and she certainly understands it a lot better than other monsters.
- Historical In-Joke: She is the Mona Lisa.
- My Nayme Is: Probably unintentional, but "Sphinx" is properly spelled with an i.
- Or having something to do with her age and the sheer number of languages she has dealt with. She likely is not using an English pronunciation either.
- To Serve Man: Taken surprisingly frequently in stride by witnesses.
Pink Haired Girl
A slightly depressed ordinary Jane who drifted from job to job before settling on being an airline stewardess due to a single moment of coincidence. Friends with The Sphynx, as well as Ethel. She spends a lot of time observing and commenting on life around her and has a notably unsuccessful dating life.
- Canada, Eh?: Not common, but it appears from time to time.
- No Name Given: And that's the way Rowntree is keeping it.
- Verbal Tic: Tends to add a "hey?" to the end of her sentences at times.
A super-curvy, smoking hot brunette with a thing for skimpy clothing and an interest in museums, bookstores, and a good number of stereotypical guy traits. She tends to be oblivious to her effect on men and evidently has a wildly overactive imagination.
A frustrated horror writer and, eventually, Pink Haired Girl's second best friend after the Sphynx.
A down-on-her-luck homeless girl. Seems to possess a kind heart and occasionally offers bits of wisdom to the few who would engage her in conversation.
- Speech Impediment/ Verbal Tic: Has a tendency to stutter/repeat short words/phrases at the beginning of a sentence. Her better-off counterpart from the alternate continuity where Ethel is a published nonfiction author seems to have it in control usually, but reverts to it in moments of very intense emotion.
The frontman of the novelty rap metal band The Generals.