Played by: Bill PullmanThe main protagonist. He's is a parody of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo.
- Doorstop Baby: He was found on the doorstep of a monastery as a baby. Unfortunately for him, the monks never told him who his parents were because they'd taken a vow of silence.
- Good Is Not Soft: Always ready to throw a punch.
- Only in It for the Money: "We're not just doing this for money!" (Beat) "We're doing it for a shitload of money!" Later changes this mindset by the end of the movie. It helps that the person he owed the aforementioned shitload of money to ate himself to death. Plus, he feels Vespa will need the money more since she's about to be married to someone like Valium.
- The Reveal: The medallion around his neck is his birth certificate, which identifies that he's the son of royalty. Naturally, this leads to:
Played by: John CandyLone Starr's sidekick. He's a mawg; a half-man, half-dognote . He's a parody of Chewbacca (except he is able to communicate in English).
- Accidental Misnaming: Pizza the Hutt calls him Puke by mistake.
- Accidental Pervert: Sometimes.(climbing up the ladder)
Dot Matrix: Hey, stop looking up my can!
(while waiting, his tail swings up into a waitress's skirt)
Waitress: Hey, hey! Watch where you're sticking that thing!
Barf: It's got a mind of its own, sweetheart. I can't do a thing with it. (laughs)
- Adorkable: When frightened, Barf's actually quite adorable.
- Chivalrous Pervert: "I'll have the cleavage, I-I mean the special!"
- Cowardly Lion: Prone to panicking, but ultimately kicks his share of ass.
- Man's Best Friend: Parodied; as both a man and a dog, he's his own best friend.
Played by: Daphne ZunigaA spoiled princess who is kidnapped by Dark Helmet. She is a parody of Princess Leia.
- Action Girl: When you push her Berserk Button.
- Ambiguously Jewish: This was an intentional gag.
- Berserk Button: "My hair! He shot my hair! ...Son of a bitch."
- Character Development: She eventually grows out of her Spoiled Brat phase.
- Damsel out of Distress: Once her hair has been damaged by enemy fire, she manages to single-handedly wipe out an entire contingent of bad guys.
- Marry for Love: This is why she ran away from her wedding - Prince Valium may have been the last prince left in the galaxy, but that didn't mean Vespa loved him.
- Missing Mom: We learn right away that she's dead.
Played by: Joan RiversPrincess Vespa's robot. She is a parody of C-3PO.
- Eye Lights Out: Whenever she's recharging in "sleep mode".
- Matron Chaperone: Complete with "Virgin Alarm."
- Robot Hair: She has the hard hair variant.
- Shipper on Deck: Even before they meet Lone Starr in person she told Vespa his voice sounds sexy and "might be cute" *wink*. But she draws the line on sex-before-marriage ("Virgin Alarm").
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Subverted, Dot is established as having hopes, fears, and moments of sarcasm just like any flesh and blood being, and she's never treated as property or discriminated against.
Played by: Rick MoranisThe main antagonist, and the best thing of the entire movie, period. He's a parody of Darth Vader.
- Dragon-in-Chief: While he's not much of a threat, he manages to be this since Skroob is even more pathetic.
- Evil Sounds Deep: Parodied. His voice while masked is just Rick Moranis deepening his natural voice and sounding more silly than evil.
- Groin Attack: Do something to displease him, and he zaps you with his magic ring. Guess where?
- I Surrender, Suckers: Uses this in his final fight with Lone Starr to get him to lose his ring.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Spoofed. He is Lone Starr's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. Technically he could have just said his cousin's former roomate, but that wouldn't have been as funny.
- Nerd in Evil's Helmet: He even provides the picture for the trope page.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: Physically and in personality, he isn't threatening in the least. However, his troops legitimately fear his wrath, and his capture of Vespa is quite creepy. He also displays decent fighting ability in his Schwartz duel with Lone Starr and uses underhanded tactics to gain an advantage in said duel.
- Surrounded by Assholes: "Keep firing, assholes!"
Played by: George Wyner
- Only Sane Man: Seems to be the only Spaceball with even a shred of competence.
- Punny Name: Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
- Sissy Villain: Despite being a high ranking officer of Spaceball, he's quite cowardly and easily intimidated.
Played by: Mel BrooksThe president of Planet Spaceball.
- Harmless Villain: Unlike Dark Helmet, he's never a threat at any point, and even manages to be so dumb that even Dark Helmet calls him out, though only behind his back.
- Non-Action Big Bad: Skroob is, for the most part, content to sit around while Dark Helmet does all the dirty work.
- President Evil: Mixed with a heavy dosage of President Buffoon.
- Sdrawkcab Name: His name is almost "Brooks" reversed. (Technically it's an anagram, but Mel thought "Skroob" sounded cooler than "Skoorb")
Played by: Mel BrooksA creature who teaches Lone Starr the way of "The Schwartz." He is a parody of Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- Humble Hero: Please, he's just plain Yoghurt.
- Living Legend: Also known as "Yoghurt the Wise", "Yoghurt the All-Powerful" and "Yoghurt the Magnificent".
- Punny Name: Yogurt to Yoghurt, get it?
Played by: Dick Van PattenThe King of Druidia and father of Princess Vespa.
- Doting Parent: It's obvious despite his limited screen time he's the one that spoiled Vespa.
- Good Parents/Papa Wolf
Pizza The Hutt
Played by: Dom DeLuiseA space gangster. Part man, part pizza. He is a parody of Jabba The Hutt.
- Autocannibalism: How Pizza ultimately dies. Locked in a trunk, he became so hungry he ate himself.
- Blob Monster: Imagine Jabba The Hutt...made out of pizza.
- Plot-Irrelevant Villain: He's around to give Lone Starr a motive for getting involved in the story, but serves no purpose after that.
- Villain with Good Publicity: He's a notorious crime boss, but his death is reported as a tragedy.
Played by: Rudy De LucaPizza's right hand man.
- Ambiguously Gay: Yeah, there is something going on between him and Pizza. Especially when he takes a bite out of Pizza and says "You're delicious."
Played by:Jim J. BullockThe last prince left in the galaxy, and Princess Vespa's intended groom. He's a narcoleptic who doesn't talk much, mostly because he ends up just yawning instead.
- Idle Rich: Most definitely not a case of Royals Who Actually Do Something.
- Locked Out of the Loop: Has no effect on the plot. His first words to Princess Vespa after she returns are, "Where have you been?"
- Prince Charmless: Is it any wonder he was the last prince left in the galaxy?