Characters: Sailor Moon Abridged

Here is the list of characters in Sailor Moon Abridged.

Heroes (we think)

The Bitchez in general
  • Alternative Character Interpretation: In-universe. To the characters in the actual show. Serena is a Too Dumb to Live bulimic comedic sociopath instead of the Genius Ditz, The Pollyanna, and The Hero rolled into one. Raye is a whole bunch of goth, emo, junkie, and satanist stereotypes rolled into one instead of a wannabe temple priestess who takes everything she does seriously. Lita is a girl who used to be a man rather than an Action Girl trying to be more feminine. Amy is a book smart Butt Monkey rather than the shy, quiet, book smart voice of reason. Mina is a Valley Girl prostitute rather than a slightly ditzier, yet ultimately caring version of Serena.
  • Calling Your Attacks: Mina and Lita have both noted that bitnote .
    Mina: Venus Anal Beads Vaginate!
    Lita: Whoa! What the hell did you just say, yo?! I thought it was 'Venus Love Chain Encircle'!
    Mina: Duh! I totally figured out that you can say anything you want, and it still works!
    Lita: How did you figure that out?
    Mina: 'Cause I can never remember what the hell to say.
    Lita: Hell yeah, let me try! Jupiter Hoe-Slap Nipple Shocker!
  • Catch Phrase Spouting Duo: Amy and Raye get this at times.
    Amy: But Molly, he's evil!
    Raye: AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!
  • The Team: The Scouts and their allies would fit typical Five-Man Band roles, but they are all women making Mina's role as The Chick slightly different (she is the most girly, but not the only girl). Regardless, they fight together as a unit and refer to themselves as a team.
    Lita: We're totally a full-fledged team now, yo!
    Amy: Why are we now a team? Were we waiting for a fifth person for some time?
    Raye: Shut up, Amy.
    Amy: No, really, why is this a team? We have four planets, and a moon. What about the other planets-
    Raye: SHUT! UP! AMY!
  • Leitmotif: For the girls' transformation sequences.
  • My Friends And Amy
  • Power of Friendship:
    Serena: Now that I'm here without you, I realize how much you all really meant to me. Even Amy. I can't... I can't do this without you! Guys... my friends... Ah, forget it, this is *honk*ing boring. HAAAAAAAA!!!
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!:
    • "I'm Sailor Venus, bitches!"
    • "I'm Sailor Mars, bitch!"
    • In Episode 46/47, Lita adds a "Bitch!" to the end of her German transformation phrase.
  • The Heroine - Serena, supposedly
  • The Lancer - Raye
  • The Smart Girl - Amy, again, supposedly
  • The Big Girl - Lita, also supposedly
  • The Chick - Mina is the girliest.
  • Transformation Sequence: Parodied, lampshaded and accompanied by Suspiciously Apropos Music for each of the Sailor Scouts.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Raye with the rest of the cast, mainly Serena.
    Serena: You've been such a good friend...
    Raye: I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TIL YOU'RE DEAD.
    • Or this:
    Raye: SERENA, YOU FAIL AT BEING A SUPERHERO. YOU FAIL AT HAVING AN IQ HIGHER THAN AN INFANT! AND YOU FAIL AT WEARING A MINISKIRT, FATASS!
    • Or this little number from Episode 31:
    Raye: DON'T WORRY, SAILOR MOON. WE'LL ALWAYS BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
    Serena: Thanks!
    Raye: WITH A KNIFE.
    Serena: Oh.
    Raye: TO STAB YOU.
    Serena: I get it.
    Raye: AND TWIST IT!
    Serena: Okay.
    Raye: I HATE YOU!!!
    Serena: Thanks, Raye!

Serena/Sailor Moon

Voiced By: Megami33

Sorry, Molly, but if I'm not eating I'm leaving.

The Heroine of the series. Serena is a fat, bulimic, stupid young girl. One day, she meets a space cat named Luna, and becomes the super-hero Sailor Moon. She tries to use her powers to fight the evil Negaverse, but usually ends up being saved by Tuxedo Mask.

  • Anti-Hero: Classical Anti-Hero - the kind where she's flawed, a coward, and lacking in the both the departments of brains and combat.
  • Big Eater: Just like in the canon series. She is constantly the butt of fat jokes.
  • Character Development: YES!! Even in a Abridged series like this! ...In season one, Serena took 30 episodes to realize Darien and Tuxedo Mask were the same person, despite receiving her share of obvious hints ("Hmm. He was in a tuxedo with his eyes covered. That's not reminiscent of anyone else I know!"). In the second season, Serena figured out the Moonlight Knight was really Darien right when he first saved her, simply because he threw a white rose. (It's possible she also noticed his eyes looked similar to Darien's)
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: She has her moments.
    "No, a small rabbit just appeared next to my head!"
  • The Ditz: Oh boy.
  • Dumb Blonde: Played extremely straight.
    {notices Darien is hurt rather badly, after he insists he's fine}
    Serena: Not serious? As if! I got a C+ in First-Aid! I can tell. {Actual dialogue in the English dub}
    Darien: I thought that class was pass-or-fail.
    Serena: Oh. Maybe the C was an F. I have trouble with the alphabet sometimes.
  • Extreme Omnivore: Serena's digestive system does not discriminate. She has expressed the desire to eat, among other things, diamonds, wristwatches, Negaverse dust, and a small child.
    "It wasn't dust, It was powdered sugar!"
    • She refused to eat "complimentary soap" once, though.
  • Food Porn: Serena has a very romantic dream.
    Tuxedo Mask: Hey Serena. Lets go get an ice cream sundae. With LOTS of preservatives...
    Serena: Oh, that's so romantic!
  • Girlish Pigtails
  • The Heroine: We think.
  • Idiot Heroine: Even moreso than in the original.
  • Heavy Sleeper: She's constantly late for school.
  • Knight in Sour Armor: Hates the Sailor Moon gig enough to pretend to have memory loss to get out of it.
  • Leitmotif: Her first transformation sequence, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua.
    • SMA Remix: "Hungry Hippo" by Parry Gripp;
      "Oh, *honk* you, SMA!"
    • Movie (and Season 2 Episode 45 - Present): "Candy Store" by Hyper Crush
    • Disguise Pen - "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake.
  • Let's Get Dangerous: "Did someone say pizza?!
  • Noodle Incident: The pool party mishap that ruined Serena's bathing suit.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: In episode 41. Turns out Serena didn't lose all her memories, she was just pretending to not remember because "this Sailor Moon gig sucks!"
  • Odango: Her hair buns.
  • Orgasmically Delicious: Serena orgasms while eating donuts with creme filling, and later again while licking a vanilla ice cream cone.
  • Running Gag: When she is the Moon Princess, she constantly mentions her pizza she never got.
  • You Are Fat: Serena's bulimia and obesity form running gags for the series.

Amy/Sailor Mercury

Voiced By: KrisRix (Main SMA Series), Megami33 (Remix Episode)

You guys never listen to me anyway!

The Smart Girl (at first). Amy is a Shy Blue-Haired Girl who becomes Sailor Mercury after an incident with the Negaverse.

  • Blessed with Suck: Constantly lampshaded every time Amy uses her totally useless power.
    • Even Amy was surprised after the one time it actually did something useful.
  • Berserk Button: Don't hurt children while you're around Amy.
  • Captain Obvious:
    (while trapped in Malachite's dome)
    Amy: Wait a second guys! I just realized that he was using a fake Sailor Scout to trick us!
    Raye: YOU'RE *honk*ING BRILLIANT, AMY!
    Serena: And you guys think I'm the stupid one!
  • Catch Phrase: Amy's "Aww" whenever she's disappointed.
  • Characterization Marches On: She started out as a shy, quiet, intelligent girl in the first couple of episodes, like she was in the actual show. Over time, her voice shifted and she became nearly as much of a dumbass as everyone else, with special talent in stating the obvious.
  • The Chick: Referred to as "the useless girl".
  • Curtains Match the Window: And if what Raye said in Episode 50 is anything to go by, it also matches the carpet.
  • The Ditz: They portray her that sometimes just for fun.
  • Leitmotif: Amy's first transformation sequence, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice.
    • SMA Remix: "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65;
    • Movie (and Season 2): "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3.
  • The Load: Constantly lampshaded by the other members of the team and by Nephlite at one point.
    • When a group from the Negaverse attacks, and one of these Negaversers ends up being laughably ineffective, Sailor Moon quips, "You must be the Mercury of the group."
  • Phrase Catcher: "Shut up, Amy!"
  • Pokémon Speak: Amy got this for the Remix one-shot episode, saying nothing but "Blue!"
  • Running Gag: No one ever hears her.
  • Shy Blue-Haired Girl: Well at the start, at least.
  • The Smart Girl: At first.
  • Tareme Eyes
  • Took a Level in Dumbass: Amy starts out as a genius nerd who thinks too much, more of a Straight Man to Serena's idiocy, whose main shtick is that her voice is such a whisper that no-one can hear her and her powers are useless in combat. As the series goes on, she gets increasingly stupid (especially when Lita joins and becomes the Straight Man), usually invoking Captain Obvious and her voice shifts to a normal-volume sort of warbling falsetto.
  • Useless Useful Spell: Mercury's "Useless Attack Blast". Mercilessly Lampshaded - The one or two times it actually accomplished something, no one could believe it.
    • More often, it just ends up obscuring vision, negatively affecting everyone. And when it's used during the flashback to the attack on the moon kingdom:
      Crowd: I can't see anything! Where's the exit? All this fog - we're gonna die!
      Raye: MARS FIRE IGNITE!
      Amy: Mars, why did you light them on fire?!
      Raye: I CAN'T SEE!
  • Vocal Evolution: She plays this straight. When she started out, her voice was quiet and kind of cute, and characters often mentioned they couldn't understand her. As the series progressed, her voice gradually changed to a squawky falsetto and she spoke much more dramatically… and the other characters could usually understand her perfectly.
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Her useless bubbles attack.

Raye/Sailor Mars

Voiced By: KrisRix

I LOVE THE SCREAMS OF CHILDREN!!!

A violent, masochistic emo/goth/punk/satanist, Raye is Sailor Mars.

Lita/Leo/Sailor Jupiter

Voiced By: Roll002 (Episodes 21-24/25, 28-Present), Judgement915 (Episode 26/27)

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that we take orders from a talking cat?

The Big Girl (or guy, whatever).

  • Crossdressing Voice: Out-of-Universe, of course. In-Universe, it's a bit more complicated.
  • Everything's Sparkly with Jewelry: Leo/Lita wears rose earrings.
  • Fake Boobs: Maybe...?
  • Gender Bender: Leo/Lita mentions in Episode 21 that she used to be a man before her sex change.
  • Green Eyes
  • Jive Turkey: If the 'yo' at the end of her sentences are of any indication.
    Lita: Peace out, home skillet biscuit dizzle slices!
    Lita: Zeus! Why have you forsaken me, homey?!
  • Leitmotif: Lita's first transformation sequence, "The Church of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship.
    • SMA Remix: "Electric Boogie" by Marcia Griffiths;
      • Movie (and Season 2): "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers (Josh Harris Club Remix).
  • Only Sane Man / Straight Man: Took this role from Amy.
  • Queer People Are Funny: Admit it. There's a LOT of comedy potential for a bisexual trans-woman and her inability to score.
  • Running Gag: Mentioning her sex change or the hormone pills she takes.
    • Also, several times she's said of a guy, "He looks just like me when I was a dude!"
  • Shock and Awe: Her/His Thunder Crash attack.
  • Transsexual: Played for laughs. In this series, Lita is really named Leo. Mentioned in Promise of the Lost Rose during a flashback where a girl and a boy are talking about Lita/Leo. The girl says, "I heard that Lita used to be a man." The boy replies, "I heard she still is."
  • Wholesome Crossdresser: Several lines from Lita suggest she's pre-op (though on hormone therapy), therefore still male, so this applies.

Mina/Sailor Venus

Voiced By: KrisRix

I am, like, so totally happy to meet you guys. Like, whoa, aren't you guys happy to meet me? Like, you should totally be happy to meet me.

The last member to join the group. The best way to describe her is if Paris Hilton was a Super-heroine.

  • Anything That Moves
  • Brainless Beauty: Emphasis on "brainless".
  • Captain Obvious: One of Mina's very few contributions to the team.
    Mina: Oh. My. God, it's Tuxedo Mask!
    Raye: WOW. THANKS, VENUS. HELPFUL. REALLY.
    • Lampshaded Episode 31:
    Mina: I, like, point out the obvious over and over again!
  • Catchphrase: Says "giggle!" at the end of her statement, once in a while.
  • The Chick: Manages to be this on an all-girl team.
  • The Ditz: See a pattern here?
  • Dumb Blonde: "I'm not blonde, I'm just dumb! Oh, wait..."
  • Everything's Better with Sparkles: "Well I was looking at this bug and its wings were all, like, iridescent, and it reminded me of glitter and I *honk*ing love glitter! I wish I like, PISSED glitter!!"
  • Global Ignorance: During the opening of Promise of the Lost Rose, Mina mistakes Tokyo Tower for the Eiffel Tower, remarks that she thought the Eiffel Tower was from New Zealand, and asks if she and the other Sailor Scouts live in Korea.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Invoked because she really likes boasting of her beauty.
    Mina: Helloooo! Like, look at my flowing, long locks! Aren't you excited? Guys, you don't look excited, you should TOTALLY be excited!
  • Hot Wind: Provides the quote for the trope.
  • Pig-ay Latin-ay: Mina-ay is not clear-ay on the concept-ay.
  • Leitmotif: Her first transformation sequence (only used once), "Wanna Do Your Makeup" by Scotty Vanity.
    • SMA Remix: "Venus" by Bananarama;
      • Movie (and Season 2): "LoveGame" by Lady Gaga.
  • Really Gets Around
  • Running Gag: Mentioning her promiscuity. Also, she can never remember the name of her attack.
  • Simpleton Voice: A stereotypical-as-you-can-get Valley Girl one.
  • Too Kinky to Torture: She qualifies as this.
    Mina: There's tentacles everywhere! It's like a dream come true!
    • And when they join forces:
    Mina: This isn't what being molested feels like!
    Raye: THIS IS EVEN BETTER!
  • Totally Radical: As a nod to the original series.
    Mina: Okay, guys, this is the episode where I use as much 90's teen lingo as I can! So here's the buzz!
    (beat)
    Raye: WHO THE F*honk*K GAVE HER THE RIGHT TO DO THE INTRO?!
    Mina: And here's the real kicker: I'm NOT the Moon Princess! Like even! OMGWTFBBQSQUIDFACE!
    Raye: OH MY GOD, KILL ME, PLEASE!!
  • Valley Girl: "Oh my Buddha. Okay?! OMB."

Luna

Voiced By: Megami33

I can't take it anymore! All the girl talks about is food, food, food!

Serena's long-suffering cat mentor.

  • Ass Shove: All those devices the scouts get (transformation pens, Serena's locket, the communicators, etc) are kept in Luna's butt until needed. Or until she manages to finally poop them out.
  • Deadpan Snarker
  • Fake Brit:invoked Just like in the original dub.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Luna's reaction after succumbing to Artemis' advances, and two seasons later when Diana shows up.
  • Never Live It Down: In-universe, the Sailors needed a few episodes to start trusting Luna's hunches about evil activities again after her hunch about Amy working for the Negaverse was disproved.
  • Only Sane Man: Is in charge of giving out exposition and at least trying to point the scouts in the right direction.
  • Sarcastic Devotee: To all the scouts, but especially to Serena.

Artemis

Voiced By Judgement915

Mina's cat mentor, a perpetually drunk Australian.

  • The Alcoholic: Artemis is always drunk, and tries to justify making an early start on his boozing as compensating for the time zone difference for Australia's happy hour.
  • Australian Accent: He has a nearly incomprehensible one.
  • Captain Obvious:
    Artemis: Wait a second... wait... wait... Wait a second.
    Amy: What is it?
    Artemis: I... am a cat!
    Mina: {in disbelief} Shut Up!
    Raye: CAN WE TALK SHIT ABOUT MINA AND ARTEMIS, TOO?!
    Mina: Sure, we won't notice. Giggle!
  • The Unintelligible: when he's being particularly drunk.

Darien/Tuxedo Mask

Voiced By: MaxSkate2001 (Episodes 1-3,6-12,15/16,17,19-22,24/25,26/27,29), Roll002 (Episodes 4,5,13/14,18,23,28,30-43), EvilChicken25 (Episodes 44-End)

Jesus, those girls make me want to actually jump off a cliff.

Serena's love interest, rescuer, and constant source of annoyance.

Molly

Voiced By: KrisRix

Wow, what a weird dream! It never gets old — waking up in a random place with comatose bodies all around me.

Serena's Muggle Best Friend who has a thick Brooklyn accent and usually serves as rescue fodder.

Andrew

Voiced By: KrisRix (Main Series), Judgement915 (Real Voice)

Villains

Queen Beryl

Voiced By: KrisRix

You don't bring me the crystal but you bring me an unconscious teenage boy?!! Wait, I have an unconscious teenage boy? Ohh...

The main antagonist of the first season. Has an obsession with hot teenage boys, Kelly Clarkson songs, and the internet.

Jedite

Voiced By: Roll002

These charms are now infused with the Negaverse, now with 33% more evil essence!

Nephlite

Voiced By: Roll002 (Main Series), KrisRix (Remix Episode)

Zoicite

Voiced By: KrisRix (Main Series), Judgement915 (Remix Episode)

Here's my crystals. Now, you show me yours. Your crystals, I mean!

Malachite

Voiced By: Whip0fAlchemy (Main Series), Megami33 (Remix Episode)

They deserved it. They weren't wearing their mittens! And also, they called me a fag.

Fiore

Voiced By: Judgement915

TEN YEARS, DARIEN!

The villain of the SMA movie.

En (Ann)

Voiced By: KrisRix

The sister of Al. Along with Al, she pretends to be a transfer student from Soviet Russia in order to gather energy for their tree.

  • Bizarre Alien Biology: Plant-based, energy-sucking life-form with tentacles in her mouth? Yes.
  • Brown Eyes: In her human form.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Towards Al and Darien
  • Curtains Match the Window: Her eye colors match her hair in both her human and alien forms.
  • Distracted by the Sexy: Anne. The conversation she has makes it even better.
    Anne: Alan, you fool! You cannot do those things! I am your only lover! How can you possibly find those humans attractive! *Sees Darien reading* I would never find some male, attractive, tall, dark and handsome...with his books...and his purple pants...*gasp* What a babe! He's PERFECT!
  • Fake Russian:invoked Has a Russian accent in order to pretend to be a transfer student from Soviet Russia.
  • Funny Foreigner
  • Green-Eyed Monster: She's jealous of Al's crush on Serena.
  • Green-Skinned Space Babe: She's attractive even in her alien form.
  • Humanoid Alien
  • Pointy Ears: Like her brother, En has elf-like ears.
  • Stalker with a Crush: Towards Darien; she has a book that goes into detail about his daily routine, right down to his bowel movements.
  • Yandere: Towards Darien and Alan

Al (Alan)

Voiced By: Judgement915