Author Avatar: For Jerry Holkins, but was not originally intended as such.
Badass: Facing Jim, an undead skeleton necromancer in "Armadeaddon," Tycho goes, "I'll handle this." Pulling out his red d20, he says, "Roll for initiative." He gets a "natural 20"—this gets Jim to Know When to Fold 'Em (and realize someone who can roll natural 20s can only ensure he'd beat Jim's scenario).
Cain and Abel: Has a VERY adversarial relationship with his brother, though he does also a loving semi-paternal bond with his niece Ann.
Fetish: Has expressed attraction to numerous things: giraffes, jellyfish, and whatever's at ColdTurkeys.com. More specifically, he's said he's attracted to long, slender necks, of the sort you can't usually find on humans.
Red Eyes, Take Warning: His eyes turn red when he gets really angry. Its implied in an early strip that he may have brought something back with him from the dream world after having two consecutive nightmares about hell.
Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Frequent. In the Penny Arcade card game, there is an attack of his that deals damage based on the number of letters in a given card.
"I don’t know why they call them “Chip Clips.” I mean, everyone just puts ‘em on their wang. Why don’t they just call them “Wang Clips” or “Wang Hangers” or something?"
The idealistic, immature, and scatterbrained half of the duo, Gabe's enthusiasm and inability to think things through makes him the perfect Wise Guy to Tycho's straight man, though these roles are often reversed as he possesses a degree of common sense that Tycho lacks. Obsessed with immature humor, male genitalia (mostly his own), and Star Wars, he harbors homosexual tendencies, not so much repressed as simply unrealized and usually centering around Spider-Man. He is independently wealthy from his Doctor Raven Darktalon Blood series.
Author Avatar: For Mike Krahulik, but was not originally intended as such.
The Beastmaster: A pet dragon, unicorn, and several Pokémon to his name. At one point he also managed to aquire a flock of Pikmin that proceeded to trash the apartment and kill Tycho. And his roster may grow at any time...
Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: The Cardboard Tube Samurai is Gabe. Therefore he can slice things up with a perfectly round tube. He can actually cause nosebleeds by hating someone, which may be caused by the fact that Darth Vadermight be his dad. Oh, and he got a blood infusion from Spider-Man. Hell, in the very first comic, he gained psychic powers.
Game Master: "Your party stands before the Cave of Tits."
Glass Eye: Lost his original in a Warcraft-related scuffle.
Handy Feet: He's pointed out to have monkey-like feet in one strip.
Noodle Incident: Exactly what led to the loss of his eye during a Warcraft 2 match is never revealed, but it has far enough reaching consequences that it meant he and Tycho had to make a pact to not play any future Warcraft games against eachother.
Violence is the Only Option: Gabe's knee-jerk reaction to nearly everything. He once curb stomped Tycho to death because he thought there was only one copy of Puzzle Quest left in the store, and tore out Tycho and Charles's throats with his teeth when he panicked over the proper pronounciation of "Gif".
Anne Claire "Annarchy" Brahe
Tycho's young niece who shares her uncle's intellect and love of gaming, but only a little of his depravity. Despite her age, she played Final Fantasy on the Famicom... in the original Japanese. Is not to be trifled with.
A small robotic juicer that works by having violent sexual intercourse with pieces of fruit.
Black Comedy Rape: Gabe has described it as "a literal rapist", although its only actual victims have been oranges and zombies (and one pear) so far. It has been shown acting... creepily towards the protagonists' wives, however.
Up to Eleven: Whatever Tycho's deepest desire really is, Jesus states that aquiring it would damn even him.
Originally known as Chuck, an anti-Apple strawman, he had a great fall and was retooled as the hipper Charles. Lives across from Gabe and Tycho and occasionally visits to talk about Apple-based matters.