Voiced by: Ronald "Ron" Hippe
More or less, the quarterback
and go-to guy for the teams of everyone's favorite futuristic Blood Sport
. The Assault is arguably the the most iconic Pro due to his introduction to players often being the first via the game's tutorial and the fact that he is quite possibly the most versatile Pro. His role in matches is to do...just about anything, though he is somewhat inefficient in Blitz mode.
Primary: Assault Riflenote
Skill 1: Bomb: Area of denial and foe-launching explosive. Upgrades increase power and blast radius.
Skill 2: Fly (though it's really hovering)
Skill 3: Charge: Upgrades increase damage.note
Passive Skill: Critical Hit
upgrade, level 2 increases jump height.
Voiced by: Colby Chester
His gentle demeanor betrays his fierce abilities and combat style. He's The Big Guy
, he exists to absorb a lot of damage and dish it out in his slow journey to the enemy moneyball. Completely oblivious to the fact that Pitgirl
thinks he's cute, which probably doesn't help his insecurity. His role in matches is to be something of an Implacable Man
; take a heavy beating while always being able to unleash a wide variety of effective attacks. His comparably quick reload and skill recovery mean he usually has several options to deal with any threat.
Primary: Jet Gun: A literal jet engine, more or less a flamethrowernote
Secondary: Rail Gun: Has pinpoint precision and excellent power at range, but is incapable of headshots.
Skill 1: Product grenade: A grenade that can be thrown at almost any time, detonates on impact with an enemy target. note
Skill 2: Deploy. Become a 180 degree turret, but gain increased defense. note
Skill 3: Jet Charge: Charge forward to injure and knock down enemies.note
Passive Skill: Level 2 increases defense and health recovery rate, level 3 further increases defense to near Stone Wall
levels. Full upgrade and armor endorsement allows him to survive a headshot.
Voiced by: David Frederick White
A friendly Italian clone, the Support is comparably weak on offense himself (most especially without a firebase), but his support abilities can make any team's battle go that much more smoothly. This isn't to say though that he isn't dangerous, not by any means. His role on the team is, well...Support. His offensive abilities are limited, but he's great to have for an offensive push in Crossfire and vital to success in Blitz mode.
Skill 1: Hack. Increases offensive abilities of friendly turrets, level 3 allows him to hack an enemy turret and cause it to switch teams.note
Skill 2: Firebase: Deployable gun turret.note
Skill 3: Airstrike Beacon: Thrown projectile that calls a missile strike from directly above whatever it lands on. note
Passive Skill: Level 2 increases health recovery rate and adds a bot-strengthening aura, level 3 increases defense.
Spawned Bots: Gapshot x1
Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus
The enigmatic, stealthy, blindingly fast, and very untalkative pro who is a ninja for all intents and purposes.Her primary roles are clearing out bots and hitting hazards before anyone else can: making her very effective in Blitz mode. While she can
assassinate pros, she's usually outmatched on an even playing field so it's generally unwise to go after any pro that isn't especially vulnerable. Notable in her ability to grapple Jackbots, though slashing them is generally a wiser idea unless they need
to be paralyzed.
Primary: Dagger / Swordnote
Secondary: Shuriken Launcher: Has little damage dropoff, the shurikens themselves have travel time.
Skill 1: Dash: Upgrades increase speed and decrease how fast the meter depletes.
Skill 2: Cloak: Upgrades decrease time before cloaking, effectiveness, depletion, and level 3 allows regeneration while not moving.
Skill 3: Smokebomb: Blinds pros briefly, stuns bots/turrets. Upgrades increases radius and recovery rate.
Passive Skill: Level 2 increases shuriken launcher clip size and decreases fall damage, level 3 eliminates fall damage completely and replaces the dagger with a sword.
Special: Reload button triggers a lunge attack with the dagger or sword equipped.
Voiced by: David Frederick White
A calm, almost timid Hawaiian clone, the Gunner usually allows his weapons to speak volumes for him. But he'll still let out the occasional snark comment like the other pros. Gameplay-wise, the Gunner fills an odd collection of niches in that he's extremely effective against enemy Pros with his minigun(s) but lacks efficient short-range methods to clear bots.
Primary: Minigun: Deals peerless damage to Pros.note
Secondary: Mortar: Arced explosive weapon which is fairly effective against bots and pros and absolutely annihilates turrets, but is both dangerous and difficult to use at short distances.
Skill 1: Slam: Deals damage and stuns anything in its shockwave range.note
Skill 2: Deploy: Has the same base functions as the Tank's version. note
Skill 3: Grapple: An upgradable grapple that is independent of the grapple associated with the mortar.
Passive Skill: Level 2 causes mortar rounds to split in two, level 3 increases the split to three and turns the minigun into a dual minigun.
- Artificial Limbs: Does he even have any that are normal? We don't know.
- The Big Guy: Though the artificial limbs imply he may be a midget, amputee, both, or was cloned wrong, he's definitely a big guy.
- Bruiser with a Soft Center
- Controllable Helplessness: Experienced by victims of his Slam skill.
- Goomba Stomp: Slam skill, scripted kill with a unique effect if the Gunner lands directly on an enemy below.
- Ground Pound: Slam skill.
- Jet Pack: Functions identically to the Tank's.
- Jive Turkey: A sinister example, brah!
- Mighty Glacier
- More Dakka: Minigun not cutting it? Upgrade your passive to level 3 for a dualie!
- Nice Guy
- Powered Armor
- Shockwave Stomp: Slam skill.
- Shoulders of Doom
- Stout Strength: With DNA from a champion sumo wrestler and the 1988 Washington Redskins offensive line, it's to be expected. He may be a little sensitive about his weight, though - he doesn't like shopping for pants, after all.
- Surfer Dude: His Dual Minigun taunt actually has him use it as a board. "Dude, brah!"
- The Turret Master: Just like the Tank, he becomes a turret with his Deploy skill.
Voiced by: David Frederick White
Certainly not professional
but definitely skilled, the Sniper...snipes.
Extremely arrogant, he believes himself to be the most important member of the team and won't hesitate to make absolutely certain that everyone knows it.
Gameplay-wise his abilities unfortunately promote camping even more so than other snipers in other games. That are more professional. Peculiarly, both of the Sniper's grapples can be used against Jackbots and each deal exactly 50% damage to them in Crossfire.
Primary: Sniper Rifle: Very inaccurate without using the scope, pixel perfect accuracy when scoped even for a split-second via altfire.note
Secondary: SMG: For all intents and purposes, an inferior version of the Assault's primary.
Skill 1: Flak: An Area of Effect
grenade that is effective at suppression, building juice, and holding a moneyball down. note
Skill 2: Traps: Deals no damage, but significantly slows pros and bots in its radius. note
Skill 3: Grapple: Very similar to the Gunner's grapple skill, but usable on Jackbots.note
Passive Skill: Sniper rifle upgrade.note
- Catch Phrase: HECK YEAH!
- Fragile Speedster: Oddly enough, he shares the same base speed and health as the Assassin.
- However, he lacks a mobility ability (such as charge, fly, or jumpjets), meaning that he is generally considered either the third or even fourth most mobile.
- Gangsta Style: How he fires his SMG, probably to absorb the recoil
- Glass Cannon: The lowest health in SMNC, but insane damage potential.
- Human Popsicle: Traps cause this if the skill has been upgraded.
- Insufferable Genius
- Jerkass: It's hard to find a quote from him where he isn't being a total douche.
- Landmine Goes Click: His Traps.
- Most Wonderful Sound: DING! Headshot!
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Somewhat; he looks like a scrawny Jean Reno, and his stocking cap specifically brings to mind The Professional
- One-Hit Kill: In MNC, headshots were usually this against pros. SMNC nerfed this dramatically — now both pros and bots take many headshots to put away.
- One Hit Poly Kill: His rifle rounds have infinite piercing ability once his passive skill is upgraded to level 2, but obviously not through parts of terrain.
- Pretty Little Headshots: There is no blood in the game at all, so headshots have a very satisfying DING sound instead of a visual payoff.
- The Scrappy: In-universe; he's the only player in league history to receive 0 fan votes for an all-star game, and his restaurant was so unpopular it closed after three days in business.
- Sniper Rifle
- The Sniper
- Splash Damage Abuse: Explosive, multiple target-penetrating sniper rounds that explode again on every enemy target they strike? Pretty abusive.
- Stop Having Fun Guy: At least someone else on this team is doing their job!
- This Loser Is You: The Sniper is a grating, egotistical wimp. He was cloned primarily from the DNA of professional gamers. You do the math.
- Trap Master: His traps, obviously.
- Unflinching Walk: Averted in his action hero taunt. When the slow-mo explosion occurs, he stifles forward and drops his gun.
Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus
See the Pit Girl down there? Read that, then come back. The Combat Girl is a Pit Girl put on the field of play with her own assortment of weapons and gadgets. She occupies a role similar to the Support, but is generally better suited to miltitasking.
Primary: Combat Healer: Similar to the Support's Heal/Hurt Gun.note
Secondary: Nail Gun: High-accuracy rapid-fire weapon that hits instantly and has a clip size of 15. Unfortunately, it suffers from very noticeable damage falloff, even dealing damage in wimpy single digits at some distances.note
Skill 1: Fortify
Skill 2: Combat Kitty
Skill 3: Combat Laser
Note: None of the Pros in Super Monday Night Combat have Passive Skills specific to each Pro, said Passive Skills being replaced by upgrades to Attack and Defense. Also, in SMNC, Bots are no longer spawned by specific Pros, but by special Bot Spawns.
Voiced by: Chelsea Binta
Clone of a famous western girl with a rifle and a pair of pistols known respectively as the "Love Gun" and "Hate Gun." Unlike the sniper, she doesn't have a scope, but gains a damage bonus with every headshot she lands on an enemy. Also capable of kneecapping nearby enemy pros to slow them down, or clearing the path in front of her with a rapid-firing technique.
Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse
A clone of pro wrestling legend Victor "The Veteran" Lisowski, the Veteran is a mountainous man with insane physical might and a strange animal magnetism about him. Famed for his mic skills, his boasts and threats being considered psychological warfare, he's an intense competitor who really knows how to get inside the other team's collective head. From a gameplay perspective, his abilities revolve around getting close to the enemy (or getting the enemy close to him) so he can perform a punishing grapple attack.
- Acrofatic: Although he uses his jetpack for jumping, he's extremely quick for someone his size and like everyone with a melee weapon is capable of a speedy forward roll
- Animal Motifs: Eagles.
- Crippling Overspecialization: The Veteran is built almost ENTIRELY around grappling, with two of his skills utilizing the technique to deal damage (as well as the third being used almost entirely to get an enemy Pro in position to grapple them), as well as the standard grapple ability available to all pros. This makes him incredibly lethal against other Pros when used in ambush... but virtually useless against most bots, who are immune to any form of grappling, and easily countered by most non-Commando Pros in a straight up fight.
- Fan Disservice: He has his own version of the Combatgirl's "Hi, Boys" taunt. The stated intention of this was to make players throw up in their mouths a little.
- Fat Bastard: Though this may just be his ring persona.
- Foe-Tossing Charge: Freight Train skill, almost literally.
- Improbable Weapon User: His melee weapon is "The Hot Seat", a stool covered in spikes. It's probably supposed to represent the ultimate evolution of pro wrestling's staple foreign object — the folding chair.
- Jet Pack: Essentially the same as the Tank's and Gunner's.
- Mighty Glacier
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Between his build, his mask, and his mic skills, he's basically Vader.
- Trash Talk
- Shoulders of Doom: His left shoulderpad is absolutely massive.
- Stout Strength: Even heftier than the Gunner and the Tank, and much more physically oriented.
- Wrestler in All of Us
Voiced by: Micheal Bils
Famous racecar driver by day, electric-powered, eel-trained superhero by night. Captain Spark is similar to the Assassin except he can teleport in a flash of light instead of jumping out of a cloud of smoke.
Voiced by: Ron Hippe
The only survivor of 12 reconnaissance cyborgs sent to infiltrate the lawless Outlander society, Karl is unwavering in his conviction that he is 100% human — despite being to all appearances 100% robot. Being designed by the elite overclass who don't really get out all that much means he has the mannerisms of a Connecticut old money sophisticate. Virulently hateful of robots. Despite all this, the producers of SMNC bought him at a tent sale.
Karl is played similarly to the Assault in that he's suited to virtually any role needed, but he has greater burst damage capabilities and a powerful stun.
Sir Cheston Whyndam Kampanga
Voiced by: James Caddell
A clone of a famous gorilla actor who starred in everything from local theater productions to the televised "Meet the Meatsacks." Cheston wears a fancy suit and carries a large tommy gun with him into battle, yet has special techniques that force him to unleash his baser instincts, like slamming the ground repeatedly, dropping bananas or throwing flaming barrels at opponents.
- Banana Peel: The alternate fire for his Primary Weapon.
- Barefoot Cartoon Animal
- Cheaters Never Prosper: Subverted.
Cheston: "I would rather die a thousand honorable deaths than to win by cheating...much."
- Combat Medic: His Roar skill heals nearby allies somewhat, making him invaluable in team fights.
- Everything Is Better With Gorillas
- Exploding Barrels: In an obvious nod to Donkey Kong, Cheston can roll these at enemies.
- The Eeyore: Cheston originally died of depression before he was cloned, and speaks of life negatively.
Cheston: "In a world of such iniquity...how can dying be anything...but a source of gain."
- High-Class Glass
- Large Ham: Being a high-class actor, Cheston is one to speak with a certain eloquence and grace, use a lot of long pauses, and even break into opera.
Cheston: (Activating Juice) "Feel the full measure...of my WRATH!"
- Male Gaze:
Cheston: "Good lord...the Pit Girl's hind quarters are as smooth as an eel!"
- Mighty Glacier: Rampage turns him into a Lightning Bruiser, though.
- More Dakka: His weapon is, technically, a Thompson submachine gun — the infamous "Tommy gun." But it has three huge barrels, and it's scaled up to gorilla size besides that. It's got such crazy recoil that sustained fire causes its spread to grow exponentially
- Screaming Warrior
- Sophisticated as Hell
- Status Buff: Roar grants Haste to Cheston and nearby allies, increasing their movement speed for a few seconds.
- The Berserker: Via the Rampage ability
- Throw a Barrel at It: In what is probably a Shout-Out to the original Donkey Kong.
- Wag the Director: He's kind of a prima donna on the battlefield, making some outrageous demands.
Cheston: "Hold you fire, everyone! My assistant will be on the field soon, with my low-fat zucchini muffin."
Cheston: "I don't mean to be intolerable, but...I believe my contract specifies an indoor temperature of 23 degrees Celsius."
- Warrior Poet
Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse
Once upon a time, there was an obsessive Monday Night Combat fan named Frank Deerford who watched every single match that he possibly could and had multiple posters of Bullseye and other MNC characters adorning his room. He always dialed up a MNC live call-in radio show hosted by Mickey Cantor and Bullseye and prayed for the one day when he could talk to them. Then one fateful birthday, he managed to get through for a few brief seconds before Bullseye cut him off and laughed at him over the air. The next day, Frank's psyche snapped as he tore off all the posters of Bullseye from his room, stitched together a fake Bullseye costume, and entered into the Super MNC contest with a personal mission to kill every Bullseye that appeared.
The Wascot has a gun that fires exploding fake coins and poisoned bacon at his opponents, but also has abilities that can debuff nearby opponents.
- Acrofatic: Where the Veteran is husky, Wascot is just plain flabby. His lunge is very acrobatic, and like Bullseye he's a great breakdancer.
- Broken Pedestal: To Bullseye, more or less.
- Carved Mark: In one throwaway Announcer line, he states that he carved Bulleye's name into his thigh.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: One of his lines is a completely random remark about lycanthropic mermaid babies. He has a few others, too.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Judging by a few of his lines. Then again, considering the world that Monday Night Combat takes place in...
- Fan Disservice: Like Bullseye, he's a pudgy man in a tight-fitting costume. Unlike Bullseye, his costume involves fishnet stockings.
- His "Manbaby" costume is even worse, baring his legs and arms and putting him in a diaper. Eugh.
- Fragile Speedster
- Grappling-Hook Pistol: Crook Hook is essentially this, only without the "pistol."
- Highly-Visible Ninja: This sets him apart from other Commando units, such as Captain Spark and Assassin.
- Loony Fan
- Poison Mushroom: Basically the MO of his Coin Launcher.
- Psychopathic Manchild
- Stalker with a Crush: to Bullseye; according to "Ask the Wascot" he's also stalking at least one young girl who sent him a fan letter.
- Spikes of Villainy: Blunted ones on his shoulderpads — oh, and a big one on his helmet (though the latter is probably foam since it's part of a mascot head)
- Yandere: Again, to Bullseye. He won't be ignored.
Voiced by: Rina Hoshino
The greatest champion in the history of Indo-China's Most Pleasing and Melodious Crushing of Windpipes Like Reeds Underfoot in a Soft, Snowy Riverbank Federation, Megabeth is a roller derby themed pro equipped with a rocket launcher who signed on to Monday Night Combat after an interleague friendly in which she killed the Assault, the Assassin, the Veteran, the Sniper, and the Gunslinger without being killed once. In her spare time, she's the lead singer of feminist tribal-acid grindcore band Hacksaw Circumcision.
Like the Assault and Karl, she can play virtually any role in a game.
Voiced by: Brandon Felker
A direct clone of Leonardo da Vinci
, Leo was brought to life by the Hyphus Group, a clandestine organization of powerful individuals working to better society. Though it was hoped that his brilliant mind would provide invaluable scientific and artistic insight on the modern world, Leo instead became a reclusive couch potato, glued to his television for days on end — and growing particularly fascinated with Monday Night Combat. He broke from this haze only to draw up designs for the armor, weapons, and strategies that would make him the next pro superstar of the world's greatest spectacle.
Gameplay wise, Leo is about controlling the bot lanes by buffing allied bot waves and stealing enemy bots. His turret allows players to go back to spawn in emergencies, but Leo players typically use it when they want to buy bot waves.
- Action Bomb: The Adoration of the AI ability turns enemy bots into these
- Badass Bookworm
- Badass Grandpa: He's wrinkled and balding, with grayish white hair and a voice like a mummy with throat cancer. He also has a giant crossbow the size of his entire upper body and a laser mounted on his wrist.
- BFG: His Balestra, the aforementioned crossbow, can be considered one
- Charged Attack: Of a sort; his heal is charged as he does damage with his laser, and it's only appreciably effective on a full charge.
- Combat Medic: Moreso than the Support or the Combatgirl, because his healing is powered by dealing damage with his primary weapon.
- Cool Board: His "ball-board", a strange mix between a skateboard and a Segway. It's a basketball-sized sphere with a grooved board balanced on top of it. Leo actually does a number of skateboard tricks on it in his taunts and grapple.
- The Engineer
- Gadgeteer Genius: According to his bio, he has applied for 2,307 patents since being cloned, and both designed and built all of his combat gear.
- I Know Madden Kombat: In his grapple, Leo kicks his board-ball at his opponent and headbutts it into their gut as if it were a soccer ball. He claims to have invented several high-level soccer tricks.
- Insufferable Genius: Leo never stops talking about his intelligence and achievements, and most of the time he directly addresses enemy or allied pros, it's with open condescension and disdain.
- The Minion Master: After a fashion, with two abilities respectively based on buffing bots and turning enemy bots into allies. Leo players tend to get more kills with spawned, buffed, or turned bots than otherwise.
- Not Quite Flight: His wings allow him to glide.
- Shout-Out: His bio includes among his "likes" secret societies and word scrambles.
- He also hints at a vendetta against "that hack Dan Brown."
- Spread Shot: The Balestra fires three bolts, giving Leo some much-needed crowd control power outside the bot lanes — not to mention a great panic weapon for when he's cornered.
- Squishy Wizard: His abilities are powerful, but he has low health compared to the other Defenders and typically loses against enemy pros in a straight confrontation.
- Status Buff: Bot Code-X is essentially a Haste for nearby bots, increasing their movement speed and their attack speed for the duration.
Voiced by: Adrienne Maclain
A French native of the lawless Outland, Artemis is an incredibly skilled archer mutated by radiation. Extremely violent and confrontational in temperament, her time surviving in the Outland has left her with a taste for human flesh and a talent with taming wild animals. Her abilities revolve around hunting down opponents, debuffing them, and focusing team fire on particular enemies during teamfights.
- Attack Animal: Biological Warfare; Foie Gras is also an animal, but it's used directly as a weapon rather than being sicced on enemies.
- Battle Boomerang: Notably, it passes through pros and bots, yet still damages them.
- The Beastmaster: Her secondary weapon (Foie Gras) and her Biological Warfare skill both see her using "Outland creatures" in combat, though they don't appear to be willing pets per se.
- Boomerang Comeback: It flies in a straight line and comes back to you wherever you are; it does damage on the trip back, too. It comes back immediately if it hits a wall.
- Bottomless Magazines: This is more notable than with other classes because she clearly has a certain number of arrows in her quiver. Also, her bow is the only non-melee weapon that can be fired forever without any need to reload.
- Charged Attack: Zooming in with her bow makes her charge the shot for more damage as long as you aren't firing.
- Egomaniac Hunter: "You do not deserve to die by my hand!"
- Energy Bow: The string and the arrows are energy, at least.
- French Jerk: She's up there with the Sniper and Leo as far as being an ass is concerned.
- Glass Cannon with a little bit of Squishy Wizard thrown in.
- Hard Light: Her arrows
- Hunting the Most Dangerous Game: One of her hobbies, though you could argue it's already her job.
- I'm a Humanitarian
- Improbable Use of a Weapon: She uses her arrows as knives in all of her grapples.
- In the Hood: To hide part of her mutated face
- Master Poisoner: Radiation poisoning, to be specific.
- No Arc in Archery: Justified — the arrows are made of solid light, and as such probably don't weigh anything.
- Post-Apunkalyptic Armor: The first pro to be an actual Outlander by birth, one of her shoulderpads is an animal skull and her bow appears to be partially made of bone.
- Skeletons in the Coat Closet
- Standard Status Effect: Irradiate is basically a Poison; Biological Warfare features Slow and Silence effects.
Voiced by: Howard Mostrom
Formally Robo MC Fun of the robotic hip hop group "Robo MC Fun and the Funky Three Plus One," his career ended before the group even finished their first nationwide tour. When the tour bus was reposed, leaving the group stranded on the wrong U.S. coast, they had to take to the rails. His weapons and skills are music based.
- Auto-Tune: His voice is provided by a person using a talk box.
- Cyber Cyclops
- Dance Battler: His grapple attack is a breakdance where he repeatedly kicks his opponent.
- Detachment Combat
- Gale-Force Sound
- Mighty Glacier
- The Minion Master: One of his skills spawns waves of "Cassette bots" that seek after enemy Pros and higher level bots.
- Musical Assassin
- One-Hit Polykill: A strange example with his primary weapon, in that it is a slow moving projectile that only stops after a certain range or until it hits a wall.
- Pulling Themselves Together: Falls apart when he dies. So it might count when he respawns in one piece again.
- Recoil Boost: His Sound Blast can propel him in the direction opposite of where he's facing when used in the air.
- Short-Range Shotgun: His Blunderbuss-esque secondary weapon, which is perfectly accurate (and powerful) at pointblank range, but does literally no damage beyond that. It would be justified, being that it's a soundwave, but seeing that his primary, which works on the same concept, works at farther ranges, it smacks of Fridge Logic.
- Shout-Out: Transformers, obviously
- Standard Status Effect: Ghetto Blaster is a boombox that causes Slow on any enemy pro or bots that get close to it. Additionally, his Sound Blast Stuns enemy bots.
- The Unintelligible: No reference to him being this in universe, but a lot of players are having trouble understanding him through the robotic voice filters.
Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus
The chipper, buxom, tech savvy cheerleader of Monday Night Combat. Pitgirl doesn't take a direct involvement in matches, but rather encourages her team's members and informs them of important things like the condition of the moneyball...And how much she likes any turret or bot you buy. No one can say why, but Pitgirl has quite a bit of spite for the Assassin.
- All Love Is Unrequited - Pit Girl has a crush on the Tank, but unfortunately his unawareness of this fact and his insecurity do nothing to help.
- American Accents: Dixie
- Announcer Chatter - Pit Girl offers encouragement at spawn, comments about the player's current class, and chit-chat when spawning a unique bot or turret.
- Ascended Extra - A clone using her DNA build named Combat Girl will be available for use in Super Monday Night Combat.
- Goggles Do Nothing
- Jiggle Physics: Her hair is jiggleboned.note
- Ms. Fanservice - Both in her in-game role and in the world of Monday Night Combat.
- Stripperiffic: Tight top with an epic Cleavage Window and Daisy Dukes? Damn straight she's Stripperiffic!
- The Cheerleader - A non-evil example, although she's not afraid to bitch about the Assassin.
- Wrench Wench: Borders on being an informed trait, as she's never seen actually doing anything other than cheering at any point beyond the game's tutorial and a few pieces of artwork on the official site.
Voiced by: Rodney Sherwood
The veteran announcer for the sport, Mickey Cantor makes a living being MNC's John Madden. Except everyone hates him to the point of having had several attempts on his life: two of which were successful.
- Announcer Chatter - Mickey talks about the combat going on in the arena, even if it doesn't relate to the player. He'll also alert players to Bullseye's appearances and when the Annihilator's available, and badger the player to upgrade their skills.
- Large Ham Announcer: Mickey Cantor and his wide range of lines: from advertising to personal comments to snarky remarks about a Pro's demise, and so on.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall - Mickey has an administrator account on the official MNC forums, where he chips in occasionally.
- Catch Phrase - Hi-Ho!
- Combat Commentator
- Glad I Thought of It: Occasionally claims kills from pros to be copyright Mickey Cantor Enterprises immediately after praising the kill.
- Put on a Bus: Due to Mickey's voice actor not being able to voice him again for contract reasons, it's stated that Mickey "escaped" and now he's replaced with two new announcers for Super Monday Night Combat.
- Unusual Euphemism - Fond of shouting "What the what?" Any swears he does make are censor beeped.
- Your Mom - Played with in one of his lines, where he claims your mom called in and said to upgrade your skills, then states that no, really, she did.
Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse
One of the two announcers in Super Monday Night Combat
. GG Stack is a dry, mild-mannered play-by-play announcer who likes to remind the audience of the rules of play — and note that they change often.
- Ascended Meme: GG describing Assassin's respawns as "Like a magic fart" is based on a meme from Super MNC's early days during the Invitational, where fans would describe her new Leap ability (Which leaves a large cloud of smoke in the place she leaps from) as "The Magic Fart."
- Casanova Wannabe: To make a long story short he's gone through seventy-three marriages and counting, four of which he divorced in the same morning. One of his ex-wives, Shelly, also has a column where she recounts embarrassing anecdotes from his past.
- Catch Phrase: "The rules have changed!"
- Combat Commentator: As with Mickey, he and Chip are among the most literal expressions of the trope
- Jerkass: During Super Blitz, in which he constantly laughs at you, insists you won't be getting to *insert wave here*, and is basically out to make your night a living hell. He's actually FORCED to let you use the Annihilator.
- Naked People Are Funny: Had what is hoped to be a brief fling with nudism, claiming "I want nothing between me and God but the sky." Chip makes very clear he is uncomfortable with it, and wants GG to at least show mental discipline around Pit Girl.
- Serious Business: Got three people killed during a three-legged race at an SMNC Employee Picnic because he really wanted a $25 gift certificate to the Candle Barrel.
- Straight Man: But he's not above being his own kind of wacky or pathetic from time to time.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: When GG asks Chip for a recommendation for a Halloween costume, Chip recommends "A fully actualized individual without the need for constant approval driven by self hatred and malignant narcissism?"
Voiced by: Ron Hippe
The other half of the announcing duo in SMNC
. Chip is a legendary former competitor, and as such has firsthand experience with almost every element of the game. He's a fun-loving guy, but not a very intelligent one.
- Captain Obvious: When he really has no idea what to say, he'll state the most obvious facts of the matter and leave it at that.
- Comically Missing the Point: Sometimes he dramatically misunderstands what GG is asking him about — a question about avoiding banana peels yields an answer about staying out of South America and being wary in the produce section.
- Another example is when GG gives the classic "Who from history, dead or alive, would you eat dinner with?" His first response is him making sure they're alive, because eating dinner with corpses is unpleasant. The second time he's asked he decides upon his wife and neighbors, because his neighbors came back from visiting their grand-kids and he wants to hear how it went.
- Convenience Store Gift Shopping: In honor of them commentating together for the last five years, GG bought Chip ivory cuff-links with engravings because he saw Chip admiring his at a wedding. Chip bought GG a humorous card about vegetarianism from the novelty shop, which he was going to anyway.
- Crazy-Prepared: Owns a Riot-Resistant Mobile Broadcasting suit in case sponsors want them to go cover company-endorsed riots.
- Humiliation Conga: His preferred method of relaxing after a game is to take three or so losing team members and laying on them like a plywood board on top of logs. He would then ride them like a make-shift cart out to the river, where they will drift him to sea.
- I Warned You: Advised Juice Bot to lube up with herbicide before going out with that pear. Juice Bot has brown rot now.
- Jerkass: Tricked GG into thinking he was about to get attacked by Juice Bot despite knowing how traumatized he was after their encounter in Dallas.
- Also claims that he would gladly pull the plug on a comatose GG who has no hope of recovery without grief.
- Large Ham:
- Mr. Exposition: Many of his lines feature him explaining facets of the game for the benefit of new players, such as explaining the significance of the Annihilator.
- Retired Badass: Evidently he was one of the sport's all-time greats.
- The Beast Master: When the press box becomes infested with Emperor Tamarins, he manages to train them to bring him coffee and do his taxes.
- This Is My Side: He and GG do this with the press box for unknown reasons, possibly because of his Jerkass move above. While his side has the pencil sharpener, GG's has all the pencils. Luckily, Chip remembered to keep the nacho machine on his side and uses them as make-shift fountain pens.
Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse
The official Monday Night Combat mascot, Bullseye lives up to his name. His role is to walk out into the middle of the arena and get shot. This is actually reasonable, as he's invincible. Oh, and besides being an annoying mascot shooting him gives you money, juice, and a chance for BACON!!
Just be sure the enemy team isn't busy in your base...
A giant, genetically engineered chicken who walks around the stage and can be attacked for certain benefits. By reducing its health to zero, she flies away and lays a golden egg that grants a stat boost to the entire team that drove it away. It occasionally slams the ground with enough force to stun players, but also stuns itself. This is when players can grapple it and ride it, generating money.
Also known as the Fruit Fucker from Penny Arcade
, Juice Bot will occasionally take the place of Bullseye on the battlefield.
- Adaptation Name Change: Had his name changed to Juice Bot from Fruit Fucker in order to keep the game's T rating. However, Fruit Fucker may still be his real name, as a few bits of dialogue by Bullseye hint at his name being changed.
- The Cameo: A character carried over from Penny Arcade.
- Leitmotif: And a catchy one at that.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Poses no threat on his own, but trying to grab him will lead to him knocking you away.
- Noodle Incident: Announcer dialogue suggests that being around Juice Bot with fruit is a very, very bad idea, yet it is never explained why (although the original name might be a hint). GG himself (who can be quite sociopathic during Blitz) is terrified by him, what was either started or enhanced by something that happened to him in Dallas involving Juice Bot.