More or less, the quarterback and go-to guy for the teams of everyone's favorite futuristic Blood Sport. The Assault is arguably the the most iconic Pro due to his introduction to players often being the first via the game's tutorial and the fact that he is quite possibly the most versatile Pro. His role in matches is to do...just about anything, though he is somewhat inefficient in Blitz mode.
Primary: Assault Riflenote Altfire: Slow down and AIM.
His gentle demeanor betrays his fierce abilities and combat style. He's The Big Guy, he exists to absorb a lot of damage and dish it out in his slow journey to the enemy moneyball. Completely oblivious to the fact that Pitgirl thinks he's cute, which probably doesn't help his insecurity. His role in matches is to be something of an Implacable Man; take a heavy beating while always being able to unleash a wide variety of effective attacks. His comparably quick reload and skill recovery mean he usually has several options to deal with any threat.
Primary: Jet Gun: A literal jet engine, more or less a flamethrowernote Altfire is Death Blossom: More powerful with a higher percentage of ammo remaining, cannot be used while deployed, tends to One-Hit Kill bots.
Secondary: Rail Gun: Has pinpoint precision and excellent power at range, but is incapable of headshots.
Skill 1: Product grenade: A grenade that can be thrown at almost any time, detonates on impact with an enemy target. note Level 1 deals minor damage, level 2 adds blindness/deafness via sponsor ads, level 3 adds four secondary grenades upon impact or the fuse expiring. Careful! You can hurt and even blind yourself with it!
Skill 2: Deploy. Become a 180 degree turret, but gain increased defense. note Level 2 notably increases defense while deployed, level 3 adds Bottomless Magazines for both weapons.
Skill 3: Jet Charge: Charge forward to injure and knock down enemies.note Upgrade to increase damage, decrease recharge time, and add knockback on level 3.
Passive Skill: Level 2 increases defense and health recovery rate, level 3 further increases defense to near Stone Wall levels. Full upgrade and armor endorsement allows him to survive a headshot.
As opposed to normal play where the Tank is just like every Pro out there and goes through the inconvenience of needing to reload his weapons.
Death Blossom: His deals moderate damage to enemy Pros and turrets, but it's extremely effective against bots and thusly makes him quite useful in Blitz mode.
Elite Tweak: Mastering the proper usage of his jet gun, death blossom, rail gun, grapple, product grenade, charge, and deploy makes the Tank an extremely powerful foe. This requires a pretty diverse range of skills.
Videogame Flamethrowers Suck: An interesting case. The jet gun isn't an actual flamethrower, ignites enemies, has a reasonable range, and massive damage dropoff. However, using it at point-blank range results in heavy damage regardless of target type.
Voiced by: David Frederick White
A friendly Italian clone, the Support is comparably weak on offense himself (most especially without a firebase), but his support abilities can make any team's battle go that much more smoothly. This isn't to say though that he isn't dangerous, not by any means. His role on the team is, well...Support. His offensive abilities are limited, but he's great to have for an offensive push in Crossfire and vital to success in Blitz mode.
Primary: Heal/Hurt Gun: Exactly What It Says on the Tin. note Important note: it works on ALL friendly targets and all friendly targets but Jackbots can be overhealed. Requires a gold rate of fire endorsement to be particularly effective.
Skill 1: Hack. Increases offensive abilities of friendly turrets, level 3 allows him to hack an enemy turret and cause it to switch teams.note Upgrades decrease time required to hack.
Skill 2: Firebase: Deployable gun turret.note Level 2 increases firepower, level 3 adds healing for all nearby friendly Pros. Can be hacked, requires time to deploy.
Skill 3: Airstrike Beacon: Thrown projectile that calls a missile strike from directly above whatever it lands on. note Upgrades increase damage, blast radius, and allow it to be used with less and less of it's meter recharged. Usually a One-Hit Kill to any Pro in it's radius, bridges tend to block it. It is a thrown projectile and will stick to Pros or Bots if the beacon hits them.
Passive Skill: Level 2 increases health recovery rate and adds a bot-strengthening aura, level 3 increases defense.
Short Range Shotgun: Secondary weapon, exaggerated as shots vanish harmlessly into the air just a few meters from the barrel.
Status Buff: He can overheal any friendly target (other than Jackbots) to 150% health and with an upgraded passive skill any bots (yet again: except Jackbots) near him are 50% stronger.
Sticky Bomb: Airstrike beacons stick to whatever they hit.
Useless Useful Spell: Hacking an enemy turret. It was outright overpowered when the game was initially released, but the nerfing of it makes it near-impossible to pull off. Chances are that if the situation presents itself to you, your teammates are going to bust the enemy's moneyball before you can complete the process: assuming your allied pros or bots don't destroy the turret first! Under most circumstances, the turret or other nearby foes will kill you before you can complete the hack.
This is probably why it was removed in Super Monday Night Combat — the Support actually has a new taunt where he tries to hack into a turret but finds he no longer has the equipment for it.
Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus
The enigmatic, stealthy, blindingly fast, and very untalkative pro who is a ninja for all intents and purposes.Her primary roles are clearing out bots and hitting hazards before anyone else can: making her very effective in Blitz mode. While she can assassinate pros, she's usually outmatched on an even playing field so it's generally unwise to go after any pro that isn't especially vulnerable. Notable in her ability to grapple Jackbots, though slashing them is generally a wiser idea unless they need to be paralyzed.
Primary: Dagger / Swordnote Altfire is a grapple, sharing cooldown with the shuriken launcher grapple but dealing greater damage. Use from behind a Pro to deal even more damage.
Secondary: Shuriken Launcher: Has little damage dropoff, the shurikens themselves have travel time.
Skill 1: Dash: Upgrades increase speed and decrease how fast the meter depletes.
Skill 2: Cloak: Upgrades decrease time before cloaking, effectiveness, depletion, and level 3 allows regeneration while not moving.
Back Stab: Her dagger/sword grapple deals much more damage from behind a pro.
Blood Knight: Her bio states that as much as she hates just about everything else about her job, she really likes killing people.
Cherry Tapping: Grappling with her Shuriken Launcher from behind. It does less damage than grappling from behind with a dagger/sword, which is obviously preferable to do... aside from the funny grapple animation of the Shuriken Launcher which consists of slapping your target repeatedly, which is even funnier when they die from it.
The Speechless / The Voiceless: MNC's scientists aren't certain whether the Assassin can talk (though her SMNC bio confirms she's silent by choice), but she can be heard giving the occasional giggle or grunt.
Visible, Noisy Cloak: The cloak is always audible to allies and enemies alike, the invisibility effect is weaker while moving faster. Dashing while cloaked adds very distinct steps that really give it away, avoid doing so. ShaveIce turrets disrupt the cloak tremendously.
Voiced by: David Frederick White
A calm, almost timid Hawaiian clone, the Gunner usually allows his weapons to speak volumes for him. But he'll still let out the occasional snark comment like the other pros. Gameplay-wise, the Gunner fills an odd collection of niches in that he's extremely effective against enemy Pros with his minigun(s) but lacks efficient short-range methods to clear bots.
Primary: Minigun: Deals peerless damage to Pros.note Requires time to spin up before reaching full rate of fire, suffers from lengthy reload time, and has a speed penalty for use unless you're in the air. Becomes a dual minigun with full upgrades. Altfire pre-spins the gun, much like a certain large Russian does with his own beloved gun.
Secondary: Mortar: Arced explosive weapon which is fairly effective against bots and pros and absolutely annihilates turrets, but is both dangerous and difficult to use at short distances.
Skill 1: Slam: Deals damage and stuns anything in its shockwave range.note Is completely fatal if the Gunner lands directly on top of a bot or pro. Upgrades increase shockwave damage, shockwave range, and decrease recharge time.
Skill 2: Deploy: Has the same base functions as the Tank's version. note Upgrades increase Critical Hit rate and level 3 adds a head shield to make headshots from a Sniper deal regular damage. Notably glitched on the 360 version, as Deploy level 3 actually has a lower critical hit rate than Deploy level 2 currently.
Skill 3: Grapple: An upgradable grapple that is independent of the grapple associated with the mortar.
Passive Skill: Level 2 causes mortar rounds to split in two, level 3 increases the split to three and turns the minigun into a dual minigun.
Stout Strength: With DNA from a champion sumo wrestler and the 1988 Washington Redskins offensive line, it's to be expected. He may be a little sensitive about his weight, though - he doesn't like shopping for pants, after all.
Surfer Dude: His Dual Minigun taunt actually has him use it as a board. "Dude, brah!"
Certainly not professional but definitely skilled, the Sniper...snipes. Extremely arrogant, he believes himself to be the most important member of the team and won't hesitate to make absolutely certain that everyone knows it. Gameplay-wise his abilities unfortunately promote camping even more so than other snipers in other games. That are more professional. Peculiarly, both of the Sniper's grapples can be used against Jackbots and each deal exactly 50% damage to them in Crossfire.
Primary: Sniper Rifle: Very inaccurate without using the scope, pixel perfect accuracy when scoped even for a split-second via altfire.note Headshots on pros tend to be fatal, but most bots require multiple headshots to take down. Don't even think of using bodyshots against bots: you're just Cherry Tapping that way.
Secondary: SMG: For all intents and purposes, an inferior version of the Assault's primary.
Skill 1: Flak: An Area of Effect grenade that is effective at suppression, building juice, and holding a moneyball down. note Upgrades increase damage and radius. Careful; it hurts it's user too.
Skill 2: Traps: Deals no damage, but significantly slows pros and bots in its radius. note Level 2 adds a freezing effect that paralyzes, level 3 causes it to drain skills as well.
Skill 3: Grapple: Very similar to the Gunner's grapple skill, but usable on Jackbots.note Upgrades do not affect damage to Jackbots.
Unflinching Walk: Averted in his action hero taunt. When the slow-mo explosion occurs, he stifles forward and drops his gun.
Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus
See the Pit Girl down there? Read that, then come back. The Combat Girl is a Pit Girl put on the field of play with her own assortment of weapons and gadgets. She occupies a role similar to the Support, but is generally better suited to miltitasking.
Primary: Combat Healer: Similar to the Support's Heal/Hurt Gun.note The Combat Healer can target up to five pros/bots in front of Combat Girl; unfortunately, it does its job 40% less efficiently than the Heal/Hurt Gun.
Secondary: Nail Gun: High-accuracy rapid-fire weapon that hits instantly and has a clip size of 15. Unfortunately, it suffers from very noticeable damage falloff, even dealing damage in wimpy single digits at some distances.note Alt fire: A grapple in which Combat Girl whacks her opponent with the gun, twice.
Skill 1: Fortify
Skill 2: Combat Kitty
Skill 3: Combat Laser
Note: None of the Pros in Super Monday Night Combat have Passive Skills specific to each Pro, said Passive Skills being replaced by upgrades to Attack and Defense. Also, in SMNC, Bots are no longer spawned by specific Pros, but by special Bot Spawns.
Clone of a famous western girl with a rifle and a pair of pistols known respectively as the "Love Gun" and "Hate Gun." Unlike the sniper, she doesn't have a scope, but gains a damage bonus with every headshot she lands on an enemy. Also capable of kneecapping nearby enemy pros to slow them down, or clearing the path in front of her with a rapid-firing technique.
A clone of pro wrestling legend Victor "The Veteran" Lisowski, the Veteran is a mountainous man with insane physical might and a strange animal magnetism about him. Famed for his mic skills, his boasts and threats being considered psychological warfare, he's an intense competitor who really knows how to get inside the other team's collective head. From a gameplay perspective, his abilities revolve around getting close to the enemy (or getting the enemy close to him) so he can perform a punishing grapple attack.
Acrofatic: Although he uses his jetpack for jumping, he's extremely quick for someone his size and like everyone with a melee weapon is capable of a speedy forward roll
Crippling Overspecialization: The Veteran is built almost ENTIRELY around grappling, with two of his skills utilizing the technique to deal damage (as well as the third being used almost entirely to get an enemy Pro in position to grapple them), as well as the standard grapple ability available to all pros. This makes him incredibly lethal against other Pros when used in ambush... but virtually useless against most bots, who are immune to any form of grappling, and easily countered by most non-Commando Pros in a straight up fight.
Fan Disservice: He has his own version of the Combatgirl's "Hi, Boys" taunt. The stated intention of this was to make players throw up in their mouths a little.
Improbable Weapon User: His melee weapon is "The Hot Seat", a stool covered in spikes. It's probably supposed to represent the ultimate evolution of pro wrestling's staple foreign object — the folding chair.
Jet Pack: Essentially the same as the Tank's and Gunner's.
Famous racecar driver by day, electric-powered, eel-trained superhero by night. Captain Spark is similar to the Assassin except he can teleport in a flash of light instead of jumping out of a cloud of smoke.
The only survivor of 12 reconnaissance cyborgs sent to infiltrate the lawless Outlander society, Karl is unwavering in his conviction that he is 100% human — despite being to all appearances 100% robot. Being designed by the elite overclass who don't really get out all that much means he has the mannerisms of a Connecticut old money sophisticate. Virulently hateful of robots. Despite all this, the producers of SMNC bought him at a tent sale.Karl is played similarly to the Assault in that he's suited to virtually any role needed, but he has greater burst damage capabilities and a powerful stun.
A clone of a famous gorilla actor who starred in everything from local theater productions to the televised "Meet the Meatsacks." Cheston wears a fancy suit and carries a large tommy gun with him into battle, yet has special techniques that force him to unleash his baser instincts, like slamming the ground repeatedly, dropping bananas or throwing flaming barrels at opponents.
Banana Peel: The alternate fire for his Primary Weapon.
More Dakka: His weapon is, technically, a Thompson submachine gun — the infamous "Tommy gun." But it has three huge barrels, and it's scaled up to gorilla size besides that. It's got such crazy recoil that sustained fire causes its spread to grow exponentially
Once upon a time, there was an obsessive Monday Night Combat fan named Frank Deerford who watched every single match that he possibly could and had multiple posters of Bullseye and other MNC characters adorning his room. He always dialed up a MNC live call-in radio show hosted by Mickey Cantor and Bullseye and prayed for the one day when he could talk to them. Then one fateful birthday, he managed to get through for a few brief seconds before Bullseye cut him off and laughed at him over the air. The next day, Frank's psyche snapped as he tore off all the posters of Bullseye from his room, stitched together a fake Bullseye costume, and entered into the Super MNC contest with a personal mission to kill every Bullseye that appeared.The Wascot has a gun that fires exploding fake coins and poisoned bacon at his opponents, but also has abilities that can debuff nearby opponents.
Acrofatic: Where the Veteran is husky, Wascot is just plain flabby. His lunge is very acrobatic, and like Bullseye he's a great breakdancer.
The greatest champion in the history of Indo-China's Most Pleasing and Melodious Crushing of Windpipes Like Reeds Underfoot in a Soft, Snowy Riverbank Federation, Megabeth is a roller derby themed pro equipped with a rocket launcher who signed on to Monday Night Combat after an interleague friendly in which she killed the Assault, the Assassin, the Veteran, the Sniper, and the Gunslinger without being killed once. In her spare time, she's the lead singer of feminist tribal-acid grindcore band Hacksaw Circumcision.Like the Assault and Karl, she can play virtually any role in a game.
I Know Madden Kombat: Roller Derby, as noted above; "Shoot the Moon" is an actual skating maneuver, no less.
Jack of All Stats: Comes with the territory as a Striker, and arguably the game's best example. Both of her weapons are moderately useful at any range but inferior to specialized weapons in terms of damage, one is Hit Scan while the other is projectile based, she has a short-range skill, a long-range skill, and a basic speed buff, and her damage, speed, and health are average.
Metal Scream: Lets loose one at the end of her purchasable "My Band Name" taunt.
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Her backstory is based on Ichiro Suzuki, a Japanese baseball player who impressed the MLB so much in an exhibition series between American and Japanese all-stars that he was playing in the US shortly afterwards.
A direct clone of Leonardo da Vinci, Leo was brought to life by the Hyphus Group, a clandestine organization of powerful individuals working to better society. Though it was hoped that his brilliant mind would provide invaluable scientific and artistic insight on the modern world, Leo instead became a reclusive couch potato, glued to his television for days on end — and growing particularly fascinated with Monday Night Combat. He broke from this haze only to draw up designs for the armor, weapons, and strategies that would make him the next pro superstar of the world's greatest spectacle.Gameplay wise, Leo is about controlling the bot lanes by buffing allied bot waves and stealing enemy bots. His turret allows players to go back to spawn in emergencies, but Leo players typically use it when they want to buy bot waves.
Action Bomb: The Adoration of the AI ability turns enemy bots into these
Badass Grandpa: He's wrinkled and balding, with grayish white hair and a voice like a mummy with throat cancer. He also has a giant crossbow the size of his entire upper body and a laser mounted on his wrist.
BFG: His Balestra, the aforementioned crossbow, can be considered one
Charged Attack: Of a sort; his heal is charged as he does damage with his laser, and it's only appreciably effective on a full charge.
Combat Medic: Moreso than the Support or the Combatgirl, because his healing is powered by dealing damage with his primary weapon.
Cool Board: His "ball-board", a strange mix between a skateboard and a Segway. It's a basketball-sized sphere with a grooved board balanced on top of it. Leo actually does a number of skateboard tricks on it in his taunts and grapple.
I Know Madden Kombat: In his grapple, Leo kicks his board-ball at his opponent and headbutts it into their gut as if it were a soccer ball. He claims to have invented several high-level soccer tricks.
Insufferable Genius: Leo never stops talking about his intelligence and achievements, and most of the time he directly addresses enemy or allied pros, it's with open condescension and disdain.
The Minion Master: After a fashion, with two abilities respectively based on buffing bots and turning enemy bots into allies. Leo players tend to get more kills with spawned, buffed, or turned bots than otherwise.
He also hints at a vendetta against "that hack Dan Brown."
Spread Shot: The Balestra fires three bolts, giving Leo some much-needed crowd control power outside the bot lanes — not to mention a great panic weapon for when he's cornered.
Squishy Wizard: His abilities are powerful, but he has low health compared to the other Defenders and typically loses against enemy pros in a straight confrontation.
Status Buff: Bot Code-X is essentially a Haste for nearby bots, increasing their movement speed and their attack speed for the duration.
Voiced by: Adrienne Maclain
A French native of the lawless Outland, Artemis is an incredibly skilled archer mutated by radiation. Extremely violent and confrontational in temperament, her time surviving in the Outland has left her with a taste for human flesh and a talent with taming wild animals. Her abilities revolve around hunting down opponents, debuffing them, and focusing team fire on particular enemies during teamfights.
Attack Animal: Biological Warfare; Foie Gras is also an animal, but it's used directly as a weapon rather than being sicced on enemies.
Battle Boomerang: Notably, it passes through pros and bots, yet still damages them.
The Beastmaster: Her secondary weapon (Foie Gras) and her Biological Warfare skill both see her using "Outland creatures" in combat, though they don't appear to be willing pets per se.
Boomerang Comeback: It flies in a straight line and comes back to you wherever you are; it does damage on the trip back, too. It comes back immediately if it hits a wall.
Bottomless Magazines: This is more notable than with other classes because she clearly has a certain number of arrows in her quiver. Also, her bow is the only non-melee weapon that can be fired forever without any need to reload.
Charged Attack: Zooming in with her bow makes her charge the shot for more damage as long as you aren't firing.
Standard Status Effect: Irradiate is basically a Poison; Biological Warfare features Slow and Silence effects.
Voiced by: Howard Mostrom
Formally Robo MC Fun of the robotic hip hop group "Robo MC Fun and the Funky Three Plus One," his career ended before the group even finished their first nationwide tour. When the tour bus was reposed, leaving the group stranded on the wrong U.S. coast, they had to take to the rails. His weapons and skills are music based.
Auto-Tune: His voice is provided by a person using a talk box.
Recoil Boost: His Sound Blast can propel him in the direction opposite of where he's facing when used in the air.
Short Range Shotgun: His Blunderbuss-esque secondary weapon, which is perfectly accurate (and powerful) at pointblank range, but does literally no damage beyond that. It would be justified, being that it's a soundwave, but seeing that his primary, which works on the same concept, works at farther ranges, it smacks of Fridge Logic.
Standard Status Effect: Ghetto Blaster is a boombox that causes Slow on any enemy pro or bots that get close to it. Additionally, his Sound Blast Stuns enemy bots.
The Unintelligible: No reference to him being this in universe, but a lot of players are having trouble understanding him through the robotic voice filters.
Voiced by: Kimberly Bogardus
The chipper, buxom, tech savvy cheerleader of Monday Night Combat. Pitgirl doesn't take a direct involvement in matches, but rather encourages her team's members and informs them of important things like the condition of the moneyball...And how much she likes any turret or bot you buy. No one can say why, but Pitgirl has quite a bit of spite for the Assassin.
All Love Is Unrequited - Pit Girl has a crush on the Tank, but unfortunately his unawareness of this fact and his insecurity do nothing to help.
The Cheerleader - A non-evil example, although she's not afraid to bitch about the Assassin.
Wrench Wench: Borders on being an informed trait, as she's never seen actually doing anything other than cheering at any point beyond the game's tutorial and a few pieces of artwork on the official site.
Voiced by: Rodney Sherwood
The veteran announcer for the sport, Mickey Cantor makes a living being MNC's John Madden. Except everyone hates him to the point of having had several attempts on his life: two of which were successful.
Announcer Chatter - Mickey talks about the combat going on in the arena, even if it doesn't relate to the player. He'll also alert players to Bullseye's appearances and when the Annihilator's available, and badger the player to upgrade their skills.
Large Ham Announcer: Mickey Cantor and his wide range of lines: from advertising to personal comments to snarky remarks about a Pro's demise, and so on.
Breaking the Fourth Wall - Mickey has an administrator account on the official MNC forums, where he chips in occasionally.
Glad I Thought of It: Occasionally claims kills from pros to be copyright Mickey Cantor Enterprises immediately after praising the kill.
Put on a Bus: Due to Mickey's voice actor not being able to voice him again for contract reasons, it's stated that Mickey "escaped" and now he's replaced with two new announcers for Super Monday Night Combat.
Your Mom - Played with in one of his lines, where he claims your mom called in and said to upgrade your skills, then states that no, really, she did.
Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse
One of the two announcers in Super Monday Night Combat. GG Stack is a dry, mild-mannered play-by-play announcer who likes to remind the audience of the rules of play — and note that they change often.
Ascended Meme: GG describing Assassin's respawns as "Like a magic fart" is based on a meme from Super MNC's early days during the Invitational, where fans would describe her new Leap ability (Which leaves a large cloud of smoke in the place she leaps from) as "The Magic Fart."
Casanova Wannabe: To make a long story short he's gone through seventy-three marriages and counting, four of which he divorced in the same morning. One of his ex-wives, Shelly, also has a column where she recounts embarrassing anecdotes from his past.
Combat Commentator: As with Mickey, he and Chip are among the most literal expressions of the trope
Jerkass: During Super Blitz, in which he constantly laughs at you, insists you won't be getting to *insert wave here*, and is basically out to make your night a living hell. He's actually FORCED to let you use the Annihilator.
Naked People Are Funny: Had what is hoped to be a brief fling with nudism, claiming "I want nothing between me and God but the sky." Chip makes very clear he is uncomfortable with it, and wants GG to at least show mental discipline around Pit Girl.
Serious Business: Got three people killed during a three-legged race at an SMNC Employee Picnic because he really wanted a $25 gift certificate to the Candle Barrel.
Straight Man: But he's not above being his own kind of wacky or pathetic from time to time.
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: When GG asks Chip for a recommendation for a Halloween costume, Chip recommends "A fully actualized individual without the need for constant approval driven by self hatred and malignant narcissism?"
Voiced by: Ron Hippe
The other half of the announcing duo in SMNC. Chip is a legendary former competitor, and as such has firsthand experience with almost every element of the game. He's a fun-loving guy, but not a very intelligent one.
Captain Obvious: When he really has no idea what to say, he'll state the most obvious facts of the matter and leave it at that.
Comically Missing the Point: Sometimes he dramatically misunderstands what GG is asking him about — a question about avoiding banana peels yields an answer about staying out of South America and being wary in the produce section.
Another example is when GG gives the classic "Who from history, dead or alive, would you eat dinner with?" His first response is him making sure they're alive, because eating dinner with corpses is unpleasant. The second time he's asked he decides upon his wife and neighbors, because his neighbors came back from visiting their grand-kids and he wants to hear how it went.
Convenience Store Gift Shopping: In honor of them commentating together for the last five years, GG bought Chip ivory cuff-links with engravings because he saw Chip admiring his at a wedding. Chip bought GG a humorous card about vegetarianism from the novelty shop, which he was going to anyway.
Crazy-Prepared: Owns a Riot-Resistant Mobile Broadcasting suit in case sponsors want them to go cover company-endorsed riots.
Humiliation Conga: His preferred method of relaxing after a game is to take three or so losing team members and laying on them like a plywood board on top of logs. He would then ride them like a make-shift cart out to the river, where they will drift him to sea.
The Beast Master: When the press box becomes infested with Emperor Tamarins, he manages to train them to bring him coffee and do his taxes.
This Is My Side: He and GG do this with the press box for unknown reasons, possibly because of his Jerkass move above. While his side has the pencil sharpener, GG's has all the pencils. Luckily, Chip remembered to keep the nacho machine on his side and uses them as make-shift fountain pens.
Voiced by: Greg Stackhouse
The official Monday Night Combat mascot, Bullseye lives up to his name. His role is to walk out into the middle of the arena and get shot. This is actually reasonable, as he's invincible. Oh, and besides being an annoying mascot shooting him gives you money, juice, and a chance for BACON!! Just be sure the enemy team isn't busy in your base...
The Scrappy - invoked A parody thereof. Why else would you be shooting him? Mickey Cantor even encourages people in the audience to use their own sniper rifles to shoot him. GG and Chip seem to hate him a lot less, but still emphasize that he should be taken out ASAP.
A giant, genetically engineered chicken who walks around the stage and can be attacked for certain benefits. By reducing its health to zero, she flies away and lays a golden egg that grants a stat boost to the entire team that drove it away. It occasionally slams the ground with enough force to stun players, but also stuns itself. This is when players can grapple it and ride it, generating money.
Author Appeal: Despite having to be attacked like Bullseye, Chickey is beloved, especially by Mickey Cantor, who becomes overjoyed at the sight of Chickey and makes offers to the teams to not hurt Chickey.
Also known as the Fruit Fucker from Penny Arcade, Juice Bot will occasionally take the place of Bullseye on the battlefield.
Adaptation Name Change: Had his name changed to Juice Bot from Fruit Fucker in order to keep the game's T rating. However, Fruit Fucker may still be his real name, as a few bits of dialogue by Bullseye hint at his name being changed.
The Cameo: A character carried over from Penny Arcade.
Red Eyes, Take Warning: Poses no threat on his own, but trying to grab him will lead to him knocking you away.
Noodle Incident: Announcer dialogue suggests that being around Juice Bot with fruit is a very, very bad idea, yet it is never explained why (although the original name might be a hint). GG himself (who can be quite sociopathic during Blitz) is terrified by him, what was either started or enhanced by something that happened to him in Dallas involving Juice Bot.