Andy Millman

• Author Tract
• Break the Haughty
• Butt Monkey
• The Cynic
• Deadpan Snarker
• Jerkass
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: His interactions with Maggie. He’s also the only one to treat Shaun Williamson with a bit of respect, calling him by his real name.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: In the Christmas Special.
• A Man Is Not a Virgin: Lost his virginity at 28 to a woman who looked like Ronnie Corbett.
• Only Sane Man
• Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping
• Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist

Maggie Jacobs

• Break the Cutie
• Cannot Tell a Lie
• The Ditz
• Dumb Blonde
• The Heart
• Nice Girl
• Single Woman Seeks Good Man

Shaun Williamson (Barry from Eastenders)

• Adam Westing
• Hidden Depths
• Only Known by Their Nickname
• Those Two Guys: With Darren.

Darren Lamb

• Ascended Extra
• Completely Missing the Point
• A Date with Rosie Palms
• Dumb Blonde
• The Millstone

Greg Lindley-Jones

• Classically Trained Extra
• Deadpan Snarker
• Jerkass
• Pet the Dog: When he tells Maggie about supplementary performance fee. He's generally quite nice to her.
• Smug Smiler
• Smug Snake: His casting call was, ‘a smug cunt with a punchable face’. It was accurate.

Iain Morris

• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing
• Jerkass Has a Point
• Straight Gay

Damon Beesley

• Camp Gay

Bunny

• Abusive Parent: He’s overly-controlling and quite a bully.
• Camp Gay
• Closeted Gay: For his first appearance. He's fooling absolutely no one except his daughter.
• Rule of Three: He appears in three episodes.
• Stage Dad

Tre Cooper

• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing
• Catch Phrase: ‘Life’s cruel’.
• Jerkass: After his true colours are revealed.
• Slimeball

Ray Stokes

• Catchphrase
• Large Ham
• Pointy-Haired Boss
• Stupid Boss

Rita

• Deadpan Snarker
• Nice Girl
• Single Woman Seeks Good Man: And in the final episode she gets engaged.
• Team Mom

Gobbler

• Catchphrase: I don't get it.
• Comically Missing the Point
• Fat Idiot
• Fat Slob

Brains

• Camp Gay
• Catchphrase: Becomes Ooh, bugger me!
• The Smart Guy

Kimberly

Ben Stiller

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing
• Jerkass
• Playing Against Type: In-universe.
• Prima Donna Director

Ross Kemp

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Miles Gloriosus

Vinnie Jones

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Evil Counterpart: To Ross Kemp.

Kate Winslet

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Only In It For The Oscar
• Oscar Bait

Les Dennis

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Butt Monkey
• Despair Event Horizon

Samuel L. Jackson

• As Himself
• Bald of Awesome
• Cowboy Cop: His character in the fictional movie he's filming.
• Fish out of Water: Again, his character in the fictional movie.

Patrick Stewart

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Bald of Awesome
• Cool Old Guy
• Dirty Old Man
• Nice Guy

Orlando Bloom

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Casanova Wannabe
• Green-Eyed Monster: He's bitterly jealous of Johnny Depp.
• Handsome Lech
• I Love You Because I Can't Control You: He becomes fascinated by Maggie when she tells him that she doesn't find him attractive.

David Bowie

• Adam Westing
• Affably Evil: He brutally tears Andy apart via song, but does so in a jovial way while speaking pleasantly to his friends.
• As Himself
• The Bully
• Jerkass

Daniel Radcliffe

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Casanova Wannabe

Chris Martin

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Hypocrite
• Only in It for the Money

Sir Ian McKellen

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Captain Obvious: Up to Eleven. Ian would have you know that acting involves pretending to be someone else. Also, you have to learn your lines because carrying scripts around would ruin the illusion.
• Cool Old Guy
• Nice Guy
• Straight Gay

Robert De Niro

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• The Cameo: His role is tiny, and simply involves being inordinately amused by a pen (with a naked lady on it).
• The Quiet One
• The Stoic

Robert Lindsay

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• It's All About Me
• Jerkass

Jonathan Ross

• Adam Westing
• As Himself
• Elmer Fudd Syndrome
• Man Child