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- "No, no, Ebony's not 'weird and abnormal, but in a cool way' crazy. Ebony is 'go get the straightjacket and cattle prod right now' crazy."
- Deadpan Snarker: See the above quote.
- Good Is Not Nice
- The Hero: Especially of Ebony vs. Canon.
- The Lancer: Serves as this to the MSEA in Sapphire.
- Heroes Want Redheads: For Ginny, of course.
- Only Sane Man: Shares this with Hermione, what with the Weasley's eagerness to destroy Ebony, Draco's sheer terror at being stalked by Ebony, and Luna's being... herself. Best displayed when he talks to Charlie.
- The Watson: When talking to the MSEA.
- "Throwing it out won't be enough. We'll have to burn it. We'll have to burn it in a holy bonfire!"
- Big Eater
- Book Dumb: It's Ron. What did you expect?
- Deadpan Snarker: Of course, damn near everyone in this story is one, but Ron especially.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold
- The Lancer
- Red Hair And Freckles
- "Kill me now."
- Action Girl
- Brainy Brunette
- Deadpan Snarker
- Ms. Exposition
- Only Sane Man: Of the canon characters. Arguably fills this role even better than Harry.
- The Smart Guy
- Team Mom
- Teen Genius
- "It's just the wind, Ronald."
- "Perhaps she's mentally ill."
- Alliterative Name
- The Chick
- Cloudcuckoolander: Sort of a requirement.
- The Pollyanna: Actually did try to be kind to Ebony at first.
- Plucky Girl
- Wide-Eyed Idealist
- "I don't know who Amy Lee is. Can we stop reading now?"
- Butt-Monkey: Due to Ebony stalking him.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Works with the others strictly to get rid of the Sues. Though one could argue that he and the other canon characters are slowly but surely developing into Fire-Forged Friends.
- The Sixth Ranger
- Smug Snake: But it comes back to bite him in the ass quite reguarly.
- Sour Supporter
Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
- "Fangz. Geddit, cuz I'm goffick!"
- Anything That Moves
- Author Avatar: Of Tara.
- Cloudcuckoolander: She could give Luna a run for her money.
- Large Ham
- Stalker With a Crush: Towards Draco.
- Too Dumb to Live
Sapphire Eleanor Rose Suzette de Mont
- "Look at me! Look at this long, luxurious, never-gets-tangled-ever golden hair, symbolizing my purity! I'm—I'm a hag!"
The MSEA as a Whole
- True Companions: They may be colleagues, but they act more like a loving, if slightly dysfunctional family.
- "All right, Sue. We're goin' to war."
- Hypocritical Humor: There are two people who tend to break October's no-cussing rule: Charlie, and October herself.
Charlotte "Charlie" Duncan
- "Hello. My name is Charlie Duncan. You killed my favorite series. Prepare to die."
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Played with. She's not a villain, or even overtly cruel, just a tad... over-enthusiastic. When Missy is reading out her charges, Charlie says that she doesn't remember doing half the things on the list. (Of course, it was a really long list...)
- "I'm with the boss on this one. Pardon my French, but—SON OF A BITCH."
- Dark and Troubled Past: She was in jail for magical crimes once. Even Charlie had no idea.
- Waif-Fu: Small, petite, and perfectly capable of kicking your ass.
- "I've clicked on thirty stories in the past half hour. Twenty five of them are Suefics."
- Dark and Troubled Past: Was living in a homeless shelter when October hired her.