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EthanThe main character. Until the Drama Bomb Finale.
- The Alcoholic
- Achey Scars: On Ethan's shoulder and caused by Rory - which has only been mentioned once and never again.
- Byronic Hero
- Cain and Abel: The Abel to Rory's Cain.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Flanderization: He began as The Ditz, but moved on to Cloud Cuckoolander. More recently, he has surpassed this, and some fans are starting to suspect he is in fact clinically insane. (This may explain why Ethan made a Heroic Sacrifice to prevent a dystopian future from happening, and the entire strip is going to be rebooted.)
- Genius Ditz: It's stated that for 7 seconds a day, he enters into this zone that grants him insight into the universe, which in turn lets him do amazing things like build sapient robots or dispense amazing relationship advice, before returning to "normal". To cap off this bit of insight into his character, he puts slices of pineapple over his eyes to make pineapple goggles.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Sacrifices himself to turn off the time machine. Results in Character Death.
- Jerk Ass: when it comes to customers and Rob due to his limited experience or ignorance of videogames.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: In spite of his flaws he truly loves his wife Lilah and at least respects his friend Lucas when he's not trying anything stupid.
- Killed Off for Real
- Man Child: With hints of Psychopathic Man Child.
- Only Sane Man: Inverted. Everybody else can come across as sane when compared to him.
- Proud to Be a Geek
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: He acts as The Red to Lucas's Blue, though ironically Ethan is dressed in Blue with Blue Eyes and his Winter-een-mas King Outfit has a Blue Cape. There is even a Cross Over Example in AdventureQuest Worlds with him acting as The Red Oni to The Hero's Blue Oni.
- Too Dumb to Live: According to Zeke, if you run the data from Ethan's various misadventures, his life expectancy comes out negative. Negative forty.
- Unexplained Recovery: He jumped off a second or third-story fire escape in his underwear because according to video game logic if he's lighter he'll be less injured. He lands on concrete and winds up with about two inches of bone sticking out of his arm. He goes to the hospital and is sent home the same day (in real life he'd probably have to stay for at least one night's observation) with "Paaaaaaaiiiiiiiiin killers!" and a cast. The next comic he's featured in there's no evidence he was ever injured despite having a break that would've taken months to heal (then again...) and would've at least left a nasty scar.
- Babies Ever After: Lucas's wife gives birth to a son in the last strip, whom he affectionately names Ethan.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette
- The Straight Man
LilahEthan's gamer girlfriend and eventually widow.
ZekeFormerly known as X-Bot, Zeke was built by Ethan from an X-Box console.
- Call a Human a "Meatbag"
- Deadpan Snarker
- Instant A.I., Just Add Water
- Player Killing: In episode 5 of season 2.
- Super Strength: Comes with being a robot.
- Took a Level in Badass: After Ted reveals his Evil Plan, Zeke rescues Ethan in a Badass way.
The PlayersFeeling that he had taken the original cast as far as he could go with, Tim Buckley announced on his blog that the strip will now feature the Players (side characters once used for violent gags) as the main cast. They consist of Player 1 (Blue), Player 2 (Red), Player 3 (Yellow) and Player 4 (Green).
- Ascended Extra: They've taken over as the main cast of the comic.
- Amazing Technicolor Population
- Ax-Crazy: Green, literally.
- Yellow if you mess up his cards, literally.
- Berserk Button: See Ax-Crazy above. Don't ever mess up Yellow's cards after a game.
- Butt Monkey: Yellow, who is often the victim of gruesome acts of violence by the other players.
- Character Development: Undoubtedly as the comic progresses.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Green. She is seen here casually drinking a bottle of mustard. She also never knew the Player's apartment had a ceiling,and thinks it's plotting something.
- Color-Coded Characters
- Comedic Sociopath: Red in the old strips. His violent temper has yet to be seen in the reboot.
- It seems to be resurfacing.
- Death Is Cheap: The only reason they're still around after killing each other so much is that they have a respawn chamber in their house.
- Genius Ditz: Green in this strip.
- Jerkass: Blue, but Red and Green can also qualify for this.
- Only Sane Man: Yellow. Doesn't seem to have changed at all in the reboot, judging from this.
- Shrinking Violet: Yellow is said to be this.
- Those Two Guys: Blue and Red, par for the course as they're Players 1 and 2.
- Took a Level in Dumbass: Red seems to be steering towards this. See random pools of blood on the ground? Sample them and get horrible diseases. Get offered a lot of useful healing items? Opt for a stick and use it to plug up a gushing wound.
- Took a Level in Kindness: Somewhat. They don't seem to try to brutally kill each other as often as they did when they were side characters, and get along quite amicably nowadays. Red is the most noticably changed, all of his past appearances had him trying to kill somebody.
- And I Must Scream: Some of his arguments with Ted seem to imply that this trope is, at least partially, in effect. Particularly when it comes to killing Ethan off.
- The Dragon: To Ted
- Evil All Along
- Arch-Enemy: Of a sort to Zeke.
- Big Bad: Until he leaves via Exit Villain Stage Left, followed somewhat shortly after by the Drama Bomb Finale.
- The Dog Was the Mastermind
- Everything's Better with Penguins
- The Speechless: Being a penguin, he's incapable of actual human speech. So he shares a body with Scott sometimes.
Bubba The Judge
- Expy: of Jabba The Hutt
The Bounty Lawyer
- Expy: of Bobba Fett
Ethan, aka Analog
- Empowered Badass Normal: Fights like Batman with his gadgets, but he does have Resurrective Immortality.
- Expy: Of Batman.
- Resurrective Immortality: Weaponized - jumping himself and an opponent out a window is a net gain.Analog: "I have infinite continues. Do you?"