Crew of the MES Alternatehistory.com
Doctor WhatCaptain by default, a goofy screwball with a heart of gold. Obsessed with porn and lesbians, and porn OF lesbians. Canadian.
Grey WolfSecond-in-command, a perpetually drunken Englishman with a thing about genealogy and plush unicorns.
LandsharkChief pilot and third-in-command. Spends most of his time snarking at the American crew members or taking part in an S&M relationship with Ironyuppie.
IronYuppieFor much of the show's run, the only female crewmember. Terrifies most of the men. In a relationship with Landshark. Has a sex dungeon full of people they encounter on their voyages, occasionally added to.
Dave HoweryChief engineer. Has a pathological hatred of Canada and an indestructible wiry beard.
G.BoneEngineer and teleporter operator. Hawaiian.
PsychomeltdownEngineer. Navajo Indian.
MichaelEngineer and security officer. Australian.
FlocculencioGeneral layabout and compatriot of Michael. Singaporean of Indian descent.
Weapon MHead of security. Once had a threesome. Will never get tired of telling you about it.
GBWShip's operations officer. Often shown later as being a secondary pilot and piloting the shuttles.
Othniel"Ensign and standard bearer", an evangelical Christian from Utah.
HendrykQuartermaster and Whatian Priest. Sinophile Frenchman.
DMASecurity and Orthodox Sheepist Priest. Australian.
DiamondOptician, nurse, cartographer and Reformed Sheepist Priest. Also practices Pantslessness.
LuakelEager Young Space Cadet.
KitShip's operations officer. Gay Welshman.
Leo CaesiusThe ship's computer, appearing both as a disembodied voice and incarnate in a robot body.
The MosquitoA giant mosquito born from a teleporter accident.
BoboA flying brain with tentacles created by Torqumada in one of his mad science experiments. Is intensely loyal to Torqumada and more recently also to Keira Knightley.
WardHard-bitten former admiral with a grudge against Doctor What and, indeed, most of the multiverse.
Grimm ReaperSecond-in-command and professional sadist. Dresses up as The Grim Reaper.
MerryPranksterThird-in-command, perpetually trying to take over.
FortysevenEngineer and teleporter operator.
Romulus AugustulusSecurity officer.
FaeelinShip's operations and communications.
DarkslavikGenetic weapons specialist.
The Mirror CrewMirror Universe counterparts of the AH.commers.
The GermansA group of German mercenaries, obsessed with politics and perpetually arguing.
The Pole TrollsEnemies of the Germans, who infest the Wiki World (based on The Other Wiki) and seek to change reality to fit their views. Based on the large number of Polish trolls who have been known to spam alternatehistory.com's message board.
The Lesbian Space MarinesOriginating from a planet where all the men were killed by a virus. After acquiring shift-drive technology from the AH.commers, began expanding into other timelines.
The Administratum of BankindA Grim Dark civilisation perpetually at war and consisting of countless hellish hive worlds and huge warships like gothic cathedrals, presided over by a dark religion dedicated to a a dead leader upon a great golden chair. Does This Remind You of Anything??
The Guild of CartographersOr the Mappist Cabal, a group of elite mapmakers crewing the ship Mercator.
The KingSaviour, religious icon and ruler of a planet. Wears white suit, eats cheeseburgers, plays guitar, has quiff. Reminds me of someone, but can't quite think who...
Mike CollinsPowerful enemy of the Hub.
The Alien Space Bats (ASB)Enemies of the Hub, embodiments of chaos, and have been interfering with various timelines since at least Season 2.
The Hub of the MultiverseA vast complex in its own dimension, a place where timelines intersect. The Pub in the Hub, Ouroboros, often features - it can be accessed from any bar in the multiverse through the door labelled 'Authorised Staff Only'. The Hub also contains docks for ships, huge shopping malls, and so on.