Be Careful What You Wish For: After Bella and Edward's first time having sex, Mark wonders why Meyer refused to describe it at all. However, when she finally does attempt a sex scene several chapters later, Mark's review just screamsDO NOT WANT.
I don't think sex is disgusting. I think Stephenie Meyer describing sex is disgusting.
Not to mention Bella's whining, use of the word "dazzle", thinking Edward or Bella are role models, poor grammar...really, it feels like every other page something seems to piss him off in one way or another.
In Chapter 18, when Edward tells Bella that he will hold her personally responsible for whatever happens to her, Mark finally loses it:
SADL;KFJASDF;JKLASDJKL;SFADJKLXZVCMN,XVCLKSHADFJK789243$#Q%#%%$# YOU PSYCHOPATHIC, NO-GOOD, WOMANIZING PIECE OF SHIT.
Ok, this is the most common thing I write. I've said it 34 times in my notes. Nothing else. Just that single word, followed by a lack of any punctuation. Not a question or an exclamation, just a statement of utter disbelief.
Bold Inflation: A lot. One chapter review of New Moon consisted of almost nothing but large, sparkly, animated text.
Heroic BSOD: Mark breaks down into rage at several chapters, but when he came to Chapter 18 of Breaking Dawn (the one with the vampire-tooth caesarian and Jacob imprinting on a newborn infant) he broke down in a whole different way.
Hypocritical Humour: For his review of the 'climatic' chapter of Breaking Dawn, Mark imagines an absolutely beautiful piece of hate mail to Meyer from the ghost of William Shakespeare, calling her out on all the ways in which she tries to emulate him and fails. The Crowning Moment of Funny, if you're familiar with Shakespeare, comes right at the end:
Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck all you who support this bullshit that puts the burden of sex on the female, that ignores the right of a woman over her body, that parades as ethics when it's the utmost demonization of femininity. Fuck this nonsense that purports to state that sex is ok as long as it's used to control women. This is garbage, pure and simple. It's Mormon/religious propaganda, pure and simple. And it's justshittywriting.
Shipper on Deck: Mark becomes one for Bella/Jacob a few chapters into New Moon. He stops after the rape-kiss incident in Eclipse, however.