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The 100 Lives of Black Jack Savage: The ghost of a pirate must help the same number of people that he killed in order to "move on", but some type of guardian ghosts prevent him from leaving the island he died on. So he gets the island's new owner to help the people. Actually not that much better than it sounds.
The main character is a "socially retarded" nerd who loves Star Wars and can't get a date. Her best friend is a minor celebrity who beds numerous members of the opposite sex and has an ongoing rivalry with a strange black guy. Their boss is Crazy Awesome incarnate.
The 4400: A bunch of people abducted from random points in time come back all at once in modern day Seattle... WITH SUPER POWERS. And one of them's Jesus.
Ace Lightning: A show in which a superhero from a videogame comes to life as a result of a well timed bolt of lightning. Thirteen year old is elected as his sidekick. Chaos, an all but absent functional social life and eventual unraveling conspiracy and author avatarisation ensues. Obvious Aesop every single episode. Also fits in Western Animation due to being multimedia-created.
The Addams Family: An independently wealthy family of semi-recluses must cope with their very weird neighbours.
The Adventures of Pete & Pete: Brothers with the same name team up with a self-deluded superman to survive weirdness in their home town. Told in monologue.
Airwolf: A man refuses to return a helicopter he was ordered to retrieve.
ALF: An intergalactic furball, played by a puppet, takes refuge in a So Cal family home and wants to dine on their pet.
Alias: A supermodel genius with abandonment issues teams up with the group she thought she was working for to bring down the team pretending to be the other team. Then she goes back to working for the team she didn't know she was really working for when the real team hires the fake team to be on their team. Also, there's magic water.
All in the Family: An ignorant, self-destructing bigot and his occasionally self-righteous child and husband squabble about the issues of the day.
All That: Recurring characters include a guy who's lactose intolerant, a kid who beats up a puppet, and a girl who is supposed to answer questions but just yells at people.
Allein gegen die Zeit: Terrorists searching for a hiding scientist break into a middle school. The detention class tries to stop them á la 24.
'Allo 'Allo!: A series set in occupied France in WWII, whose protagonist is a middle-aged, adulterous Nazi collaborator. It's a comedy.
Ally McBeal: An exceptionally thin lawyer, who suffers from delusions of a dancing cartoon baby, works at a firm with her ex-boyfriend and his wife, a loveable misogynist, and a man who uses a remote control to flush toilets.
Almost Live!: An extremely low-budget provincial sketch-comedy show where rain, coffee, grunge music, and college were used as punchlines.
American Gladiators: Physical competition against spandex-clad bodybuilders. Modeled off ancient Roman bloodsport.
American Gothic: A law-enforcement official tries to gain custody of his son.
American Horror Story: Asylum: A woman is institutionalized because of her homosexuality, and a man is institutionalized for murdering his wife (a false accusation). Both are tortured by the mental hospital's staff.
American Horror Story: Murder House: Due to full disclosure laws, a real estate agent is forced to admit that the house she is selling was the scene of a gruesome murder. As per usual, the buyers move in anyway, and surprise, surprise, the place is haunted.
Angel: A broody vampire with a soul, a former Rich Bitch, an Upperclass Twit, a formerly enslaved scientist, a green demon who reads people's futures when they sing Karaoke and a gang leader live in a hotel, then run a law firm. They Fight Crime.
Alternatively, a mass murderer claims to have reformed, but occasionally relapses. Also, all your favorite characters die.
Ark II: What Fallout could be where the denizens of one Vault left their shelter to do something to help their world After the End.
Arrested Development: A widowed man tries to redeem a corrupt organization, but his father won't have it; meanwhile, his brother is breaking his heart and his sister is having marital problems. It's a comedy, with a heaping helping of Large Ham.
Arrow: A man keeps up his archery skills after coming home from an extended vacation.
The A-Team: Four shell-shocked Vietnam veterans with varying levels of mental problems become criminals for hire. They get paid to help small businesses by harassing their competitors, cause massive property damage and even do illegal mercenary work.
The Army runs around Los Angeles looking for four fugitives who endanger the lives of everyone with their horrible shooting and reckless driving.
Babylon 5: A war-hero, a cynical Russian bisexual, a recovering alcoholic police chief and a bunch of other people start a fight with God andThe Devil, win, destroy the world government and take over the entire galaxy. None of that was hard. Meanwhile, the expies of Hitler and the new Moses get married.
After this, Joan of Arc's valet feels left out, the drunken Italian's valet is pleased to see Judas' head cut off, and the lizard man and the Italian become friends and then strangle each other. The Ultimate Authority Mayor then goes to heaven to talk with the space spider demons he used to fight while Joan of Arc just grows old.
Baggage: A man/woman looking for love makes snap judgments about three potential suitors of the opposite sex based on their personal confessions. Later on, only one of the three suitors gets the chance to make a snap judgment on the original person's biggest personal confession. Punny reactions based on these revelations are inevitably made by the host.
The Bill: Police work in East London. Where the cops die a lot.
A Bit of Fry and Laurie: Sketch show where almost all roles are played by two really tall, upper-class men from Oxbridge.
Black Books: The weird life and homoerotic misadventures of a sadistic drunk who owns a bookshop, his Cloudcuckoolander assistant / punching bag and their best (and only) friend.
Blackadder: A historical Sitcom, in which every generation of a charismatic but extremely unlucky man's family both looks the same and possesses the same name, as does almost everyone else he encounters. Each man is unfortunate enough to be surrounded by half-wits, incompetents and lunatics, and is waited upon by a servant whose standards of personal hygiene are barely human at best.
Blackpool: Murder investigation is frequently interrupted by song-and-dance numbers using well-known pop songs.
Blake's 7: A bunch of people get together on a spaceship to battle a sadistic glam goddess and her massive personal army.
Blood Over Water (no relation to a book by the same name): Murderous thugs can't figure out which twin brother they're supposed to kill. A friend of both brothers can't decide whether or not he prefers them to a fat paycheck.
Bones: A gorgeous but socially clueless genius anthropologist solves murders involving really icky decomposition with a street-smart and equally gorgeous wisecracking FBI agent. UST ensues. They are helped by a socially retarded supergenius, a conspiracy-theorist slime expert, and a good-hearted, free-spirited artist.
A crime drama which is mainly just close-ups of rotting bodies falling apart and scientists saying lengthy pieces of techno-babble. This may, if you are very lucky, be followed by just a few minutes of actual action with their Book Dumb Law Enforcement Liason.
Bottom: Two brainless alcoholic perverts beat each other up.
Boy Meets World: Immature kid grows up into a neurotic dork and marries the girl he used to torment, has the same teacher for every grade.
The Brady Bunch: A widow and a widower get married and bring their children from previous marriages to live together in a really big house the man designed himself. (Which nonetheless has only one bathroom.)
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: All-American guy takes a 500-year-plus nap, wakes up, and promptly sets about saving the Earth from fascistic regimes with help from a talking clock, a robot with a weird Verbal Tic, and a Colonel Fanservice. (Depending on whom you ask, it might be just as bad as it sounds. In its defense, it was popular when it first came out.)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A cheerleader, a nerd, a slacker, and the school librarian fight the horrors of American High School while their lives turn into a soap opera. Beloved people die with depressing regularity.
Bullseye UK: People throw things. If they do it well, they might win a vehicle they can't possibly use.
or three spies make clever plans while gorgeous women in bikinis walk around. One of the spies gives lectures.
The Cape: A cop gets fired for being too honest by a guy with the creepiest contact lenses ever. He resorts to a comic book character's wardrobe for vengeance, and is aided by a gang of carnies and a sneaky hacker who he has much sexual tension with.
Caprica: A teenage girl is killed in a terrorist attack organized by her friends. A copy of her soul ends up in the body of a robot killing machine that will one day destroy human civilization. It's a family drama.
Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons: A group of colour-coded soldiers with very odd accents try to stop a bunch of glowing green lights from destroying all life on Earth.
Castle: Mystery author stalks hot detective, hitting on her and making cruel jokes about murder scenes. Then he writes about it and gets even more rich and famous. She loves him for it.
Catchphrase: Robot with a neckerchief plays charades. People get paid for solving his clues.
Celebracadabra: Pseudo-celebrities try to perform magic tricks. Seriously.
Charmed: Women get magical powers and use them to kill people, while trying to avoid letting their cop friend know about it. God sends people to help them cover up.
The Chase: A gigantic maths teacher, a studious barrister, an icy ex-journalist and a sarcastic doctor in a tasteless suit follow people. Except they don't actually move. It's teatime entertainment, with lots of jokes about knickers.
Cheers: A group of people meet at a bar every night. Some of them consider leaving but they usually realise that they have no life and come crawling back.
Community: Sitcom about a group of dysfunctional college students (most of whom are in their 30s) with nothing in common but their Spanish study group, in which they never study Spanish.
Alternatively, the lives of seven friends who attend the weirdest college ever.
Continuum: A group of democratic-republican revolutionaries attempt to overthrow a corporate-fascist dictatorship by travelling back in time from their dystopian future to the present to prevent the dictatorship from ever forming in the first place. They are pursued by a cyborg agent of the dictatorship equipped with futuristic weapons and tools who is attempting to stop them from changing the future. The cyborg, who regularly uses torture in interrogations, supports the dictatorship despite being fully aware that the dictatorship deliberately starves segments of the population as a tool of control, and teams up with the younger version of one of the future leaders of the dictatorship. The cyborg fascist is the good guy, and the freedom fighters are the villains.
Corner Gas: Quirky yet lovable people in rural Saskatchewan. One of them runs a gas station!
The Cosby Show: A doctor and a lawyer raise their children. Then they raise other people's children.
Criminal Minds: A group of FBI agents, including a socially awkward young genius with a schizophrenic mother, a really serious guy with family issues, and a former cop who likes to kick down doors, fly to different parts of the country in order to pretend that they are crazy people.
Crossing Jordan: A Boston medical examiner with a big mouth and a big heart solves crimes with the help of her neurotic boss, a bubbly grief counselor, an Indian entomologist, an ambiguously bisexual British man, her ex-cop father, and an attractive policeman with whom she shares a lot of UST.
The Crystal Maze: Game show where contestants make fools out of themselves to earn cubic zirconia in order to collect pieces of colored foil for adventuring days out.
CSI: An entomologist, a former stripper, a gambling addict, and a group of nerds and geeks perform obscure activities in a lab to musical accompaniment. They Fight Crime...somehow.
CSI: Miami: Suave supercop visits crime scenes, makes wisecracks about innocent victims and plays with his sunglasses in a series of 5-minute shorts.
CSI NY: A former Marine and 9/11 widower, a wisecracking cop, a Greek-American with a stalker problem and some other geeks and nerds solve crimes in New York City...somehow.
The Cube: A daytime TV host who used to be in a double act with a gopher presides over the public's failure to outwit a talking geometric solid.
Cupid: A matchmaker has to set up a certain number of couples before he can go home.
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Wealthy but socially inept and neurotic perpetual victim of circumstance offends and antagonizes everyone he comes into contact with.
Da Vinci's Inquest: A coroner from Vancouver walks around a lot, talks with people on the street, and acts sarcastic towards the local law enforcement. He also wants to legalize drugs and prostitution. Which he does...after he becomes the Mayor of Vancouver. Based on a true story.
Dark Oracle: Two teenagers find a comic-book that lets them predict the future. Weirdness and Angst ensue.
Dirty Sexy Money: A lawyer investigates the suspicious circumstances of his father's death while taking over his duty as personal lawyer to the richest family in New York City.
When Telemundo meets Dallas.
Doctor Who: An old man spends several lifetimes convincing hot young things to join him inside a box. He is routinely harassed by tin men, Nazi saltshakers and his old college buddies.
Alternatively, a time traveller fights aliens, makes new friends and changes his face periodically.
Still alternatively: A time-traveling scientist with no fashion sense attempts to have a jog around every rock quarry in the universe, only to find that they are frequently infested with monsters.
Alternatively-alternatively and even more alternatively: Producers find canonical excuse to keep a popular character and just replace all the actors.
Alternatively to all of the above: A homeless man travels around in a box and claims to have a degree in medicine.
The First Doctor (1963-66): A grumpy old man goes on educational adventures through space and time, with the first lesson being to not be an asshole. He is accompanied by his granddaughter, two of her teachers, Cressida, a downed pilot, a temple acolyte, a security agent from an interstellar empire (revealed 27 seasons later to have been built on slave labor), a teenager, a sailor, and a Mad Scientist's secretary.
The Third Doctor (1970-74): A Technical Pacifist scientist works for a military force and fights an old college buddy. He gets help from a couple of civilians, one of whom marries an activist who may or may not be extreme. Then he gets help from a reporter.
The Fourth Doctor (1974-81: The scientist turns cloudcuckoolander and flies away, much to his CO's annoyance, travelling with a journalist, a physician in the military force, a Jungle Princess, a robot dog, a young lady who appears to throw centuries of her life away on a whim, a troubled genius who just lost his brother, a recently-orphaned princess who loses her civilization, and an opinionated flight attendant.
The Fifth Doctor (1982-84): A cricketer fails to save the day a lot, while in the company of the genius, the ex-princess, the flight attendant, a youth who tried to kill him, a robot who doesn't appear much, and a chemistry student.
The Sixth Doctor (1984-86): Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat does time and space, only with less dancing and more fanservice. The chemistry student (now a vegetarian) either dies or marries a barbarian king and Mr. Dreamcoat escapes execution only because the powers that be owe him a favor. Then he travels with a Non-Action Girl who desperately needs to Take A Level In Badass.
The War Doctor (2013): The cloudcuckoolander drinks a magic potion and turns into Winston Smith to fight a war. After many years in combat, he ends up in a rickety hut arguing with a box.
The Ninth Doctor (2005): An angry, bitter man destroys a girl's place of employment and then befriends her. They pick up another companion and then send him away for making trouble, and later pick up a man whose addiction is Played for Laughs.
The Tenth Doctor (2005-10): The personification of Beware the Nice Ones travels with a girl from a council estate, her ex-boyfriend, a medical student, and a temp, until he has to neuralyze the temp. He travels alone from then on.
The Eleventh Doctor (2010-2013): An angry absent-minded professor who may be Crazy Awesome incarnate tries to stay out of trouble badly and fails to keep a hat. He spends a lot of time with his family until they die. After this, he pouts for a while until he meets a new friend who keeps reincarnating in his life and tries to figure out how that works.
The Twelfth Doctor (2013-): Grumpy Scotsman rebels against any and all authority. He is incredibly rude to everyone he meets, but saves the people he insults anyway, and debates his morality frequently. He argues with his best friend a lot.
River Song arc: Boy meets girl. Girl knows boy. Girl dies. Boy meets girl’s mum. Mum meets girl. Mum and Dad get married and create girl. Girl gets kidnapped. Girl is actually parents' friend. Girl meets boy for the first time. Girl kills boy. Girl revives boy. Girl gets kidnapped again. Girl pretends to kill boy. Girl gets married to boy. Girl comes back as a ghost.
Saxon arc: Politician lies about his credentials, makes it to Number Ten, gets found out, falls from grace, gets shot by his wife, and ends up homeless. It's a sci-fi.
K-9 and Company: An ex-time-traveller turned journalist and an anachronistic robot dog face down religious fanatics.
The Sarah Jane Adventures: An investigative journalist turned time-traveller turned investigative journalist uses tricks learned from a former road trip buddy in her efforts to save the world. She enlists local teens to help her, without the consent or knowledge of their parents. Oh, and it is revealed in one episode that Cambridge has a genuine knight from the Crusades in its science department.
Torchwood: A pack of inept sex-crazed maniacs attempt to fight aliens in Cardiff, fail repeatedly, and die often.
Torchwood: Miracle Day: Death is no longer there to cause pain and grief, and whatever sex-crazed maniacs are still around treat this like a bad thing.
K9: A crazy scientist, a teenage rebel, a petty thief, and an upper class girl team up with a robot dog to fight other robots.
Dollhouse: A semi-deranged FBI agent investigates a detective agency/bodyguard service/high-class brothel run by a manipulative British businesswoman, a nerdy scientist, and an ex-cop. Moral ambiguity ensues.
The Ed Sullivan Show: A newspaper columnist hosts an hour of virtually every field of entertainment on Sunday nights for twenty-three years. One musical act draws so big an audience that they set a new record for TV viewing percentage.
El Chavo del ocho: A starving orphan lives inside a barrel in a slum and is regularly ostracized. It's a comedy.
Eli Stone: A lawyer's tumor makes him see original show tunes.
Entourage: A hot actor, his Heterosexual Life Partner, his washed out brother, and their chubby friend, along with the actor's snarky agent and the agent's flamboyantly gay secretary have misadventures in Hollywood.
The Equalizer: A retired member of a vaguely defined government organization decides to protect the defenseless people of New York from organized crime. He does it pretty well.
Farscape: A scientist and a Nazi commando help criminals escape on a living spaceship with a giant spacecrab pilot, then run and hide from the authorities- who are represented by a madman with No Indoor Voice, a weirdly assertive gimp with an interest in theoretical physics, and a date rapist who sweats love potion from her cleavage.
Quoth Warren Ellis: "Farscape is one American's descent into Australia's S&M scene."
Father Ted: An embezzler, a simpleton and an alcoholic all live under one roof with their insane housekeeper, and they all live in fear of their boss's psychopathic rages.
Fawlty Towers: An angry British hotelier hates his guests, lies to his wife, and physically assaults the hotel waiter. The underpaid maid is the only competent person. It's a comedy.
First Wave: A former criminal on the run from the law for murdering his wife (which he didn't) teams up with a paranoid hacker/online newspaper editor who lives in a trailer, and later also some chick with a private army. They FightAliens! Using ancient prophecies!
The Fosters: She's a cop keeping the peace on the streets of San Diego. She's a school principal keeping the peace in the halls. They adopt and foster emotionally-scarred teenagers.
Foyle's War: A detective is very good at solving murders, but keeps having to let the killers go free so that they can help kill lots of Germans. His assistant only has one leg.
Fraggle Rock: Furry, colorful vermin infest a mad inventor’s walls and floorboards, steal fresh produce from delusional ogres, and learn about the human world via a self-appointed ambassador.
Frasier: A psychiatrist gets a new job. His brother, who drops by often, gets a crush on a nurse despite already being married. Craziness ensues.
Freaks and Geeks: Teenage girl spends time learning that an old army jacket and playing hookey is more important to her than academia and general adoration. Her younger brother spends the same time contemplating how it's possible to be adored at all.
Alternatively: in a world with dangerously horrible weather, people fight over an uncomfortable chair.
Season One: A drunk guy asks his friend to do his job for him. Then he gets killed by a pig, his friend gets beheaded, a jerk ends up on the throne, and everyone starts grabbing expensive headgear and trying to tell everyone else to kneel. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, a girl sets things on fire.
Season Two: Five guys with expensive headgear wave swords at each other. Very young girls make inappropriate friendships with older men. A bunch of guys in black take a road trip to someplace cold. Across the ocean, countless people die over a young girl's pets.
Season Three: Like the above, plus a wedding that many find too agressive.
Season Four: Jerk is murdered, leading him to be replaced by a teenager, and the leading suspect to flee the law while killing his loved ones. Three siblings discover how seemingly the world is out to get them. Across the ocean, the young girl makes plenty of people to change their jobs.
The Games: Four people with a love/hate relationship are single-handedly responsible for putting on the Sydney Olympic Games and get into every problem imaginable.
Garth Marenghis Darkplace: A talentless horror writer with a huge ego presents (with added cast interviews) an awful television show from The Eighties that he wrote, directed, and starred in, claiming that it is a masterpiece.
Get Smart: An inept spy fights crime with his girlfriend to save the world from an age-progressed Hitler and his henchman.
Ghostwriter: Kids solve mysteries with the aid of someone who never shows his face.
Green Acres: A strange city slicker couple runs a dilapidated farm in a bizarre farm community where the most admired resident is a super capable pig.
Green Wing: A hospital show in which no patients are ever seen. There's no time - the doctors and management are too busy with funny and surreal hijinks.
Greys Anatomy: A hospital show where everyone is part of a giant Love Dodecahedron, which patients are occasionally dragged into. No one ever seems happy, even when they specifically state that they are happy, because of the Masochism Tango of always wanting their relationship status to be the opposite of whatever it currently is.
Private Practice: Spinoff featuring the Ensemble Dark Horse of the previous show. The writers initially attempted to make it even less about the surgeries than its predecessor, but this plan was scrapped in order to save the show.
Grimm: Homicide detective beats up fairy tales during his off-duty hours, frequently assisted by not-quite-werewolf clockmaker.
Hannah Montana: A girl who is only famous when she wears a blonde wig overacts, a lot.
Have I Got News for You: A show which can't hold down a host for more than one episode, is outdated within a week of broadcast, and whose only regular cast members are an eccentric comedian and a magazine editor. Allegedly.
Hawking: A nerdy university student attempts to get his degree before he dies of an incurable neurological illness. (Spoiler: he succeeds.) Based on a True Story.
Home Improvement: A home improvement show host tries to add more power to everything. When that fails, he consults his odd neighbor.
A man is extremely passionate and knowledgeable about his profession, but ironically, when he tries to apply it to his life, it always blows up in his face. He hosts an informational show with a far more sensible assistant/friend whose personal life he is always making jabs at, and lives with a sarcastic and sharp-tongued companion with a set of personal tastes as different from those of the main character as possible. When faced with problems, the main character consults a highly knowledgeable but eccentric adviser whose most notable peculiarity is the fact that an essential aspect of the character is always kept off-screen. Wait, hang on...are we talking about Home Improvement or Frasier??
Homeland: A beloved war hero's efforts to get justice for a group of murdered children are repeatedly thwarted by a psychotic stalker who is carrying on an affair with a married man. The stalker is the hero.
Interceptor: Hide-and-seek against a helicopter containing a mad Scotsman. Don't worry, though, you have a former tennis player to help.
Alternatively: On one team — a sci-fi bounty hunter with a laser cannon, a quick-witted aerial ace, and their fleet of really cool black vehicles. On the other — two hitch-hikers who are usually yuppies. You're supposed to root for the latter.
Iron Chef: Two people play a game to see who can cook the best food in one hour. They are judged by a panel of D-list celebrities. Home team wins.
The IT Crowd: A nerd with no social skills, an Irish drunkard, a goth who lives in a closet and a woman with no knowledge of computers work with computers in a basement.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Fraternal twins, their dad and two friends run a bar and scheme to get money and/or sex. Everybody turns against everybody else. Antagonists are a nameless waitress and a homeless former priest.
JAG: A tall dark and handsome former Naval Aviator turned lawyer together with an equally beautiful female jarhead partner; supported by an ensemble cast led by a bald former Navy SEAL; investigates, prosecutes, and defends service members in the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps.
NCIS: A retired Marine with a redhead fetish, a lecherous playboy, a malapropping Israeli assassin, a murder mystery writer / computer nerd and online gamer, an old British doctor and a Perky Goth with a caffeine habit work for the US Navy. They Fight Crime!
Justified: Cowboy lawman spouts wisecracks and shoots hillbillies in crapsack rural community. Wisecracks some more with his ex-neo-Nazi, ex-preacher crimelord best friend who blows things up.
Season Two: Cowboy lawman goes up against large woman who punishes those she loves with contaminated moonshine and ballpeen hammers.
Season Three: Cowboy lawman goes up again a guy who dismembers dead animals, a drug-addicted albino deer, a skinny cripple with an 80s mowhawk, and a redneck with four kidneys. Features barbecue pork and bondage.
Kamen Rider: Bug-themed superhero rides bikes and kicks a lot to fight monsters. And other similarly themed superheroes.
Last of the Summer Wine: Inexplicably long-running series about three old northerners. One is gynophobic, one is a short, scruffy liberal, and the other is one of various tall, pompous conservatives. They wander around Yorkshire, argue about politics and crash things. It's a comedy.
The Late Show: Host interviews people and makes a top 10 list.
The Late Late Show: Host reads mail and interviews guests with help from a robot, a horse, and puppets.
Law & Order: Police officers investigate crimes. Lawyers argue about them in court.
Or, crime-solving duo helps grandfatherly mentor teach cynicism to a series of supermodels.
later part of season 15: The same closeted lesbian sans likeability, an unlikeable gambling addict, and the same Cowboy CopBUT LATINO! try not to take their frustrations out on rapists and child molesters. A snarky caffeine-addicted ADA tries to keep them in line.
Psychoville: A mysterious figure attempts to blackmail a group of disabled people and medical personnel.
Legend of the Seeker: A young woodsman embarks on a mystical quest with an elderly wizard, a beautiful woman who mind-rapes people with her eyes, and a reformed dominatrix. Along the way they collect magical objects, rescue villagers, and try not to doom the world by having sex.
Lets Make A Deal: Costumed audience members exchange cash and merchandise for exotic vacations and luxurious cars, as well as smelly farm animals, massive quantities of produce, and oversized TV show props.
Basically an updated version of those four ex-military fellows in the van above.
Lie to Me: An obnoxious Brit and a quirky team accuse people of lying and are usually right.
Life On Mars: A policeman gets run over and wakes up in 1973. His boss is a misogynistic, racist homophobe, he himself is and is not hallucinating everything, and he's being stalked.
Ashes to Ashes: Alex Drake gets seriously injured and wakes up in 1981. Somehow, she's ended up in Sam Tyler's world, working for his boss, and it's anyone's guess whether or not Alex is hallucinating the whole thing.
Or: A police detective gets stalked by a freaky clown who probably doesn't exist in 1981.
Brimstone: Police detective gets seriously injured, travels forward in time to 1998, and meets the devil.
Merlin: A bumbling manservant uses non-specified superpowers to protect his unwitting and unappreciative master while taking advice on their relationship from a dragon who basically speaks in subtext (and ships them). Corny CGI ensues.
The Mighty Boosh: A glamrocking pretty boy and a middle-aged virgin with a jazz fetish go on ridiculous, surreal adventures with an alien stoner and a talking gorilla who's supposed to be dead.
The Middleman: A young painter living with her ditzy blonde roommate is hired by a quirky superhero with a grumpy robot secretary. Memorable opponents include a super-smart gorilla, a mud monster, and a boy band.
Misfits: Five juvenile delinquents—consisting of a nerdy arsonist, a shamed athlete, a snarky jerkass, a violent chav, and a sex-mad drunk-driver—get caught in a freak storm while on community service, and get magically lumbered with some of the most debilitating and ridiculous superpowers EVER.
Monty Python's Flying Circus: Five educated British men make complete fools of themselves on national television until they run out of ideas, at which point their American colleague cuts bits of famous paintings out and moves them in front of the camera.
Mork and Mindy: Cloudcuckoolander from space and sweet innocent young woman live together in Boulder, Colorado and seem to swing back and forth between Just Friends and a real romantic relationship for three years until they get married and give birth to Jonathan Winters.
Mr. Bean: A manchild is overwhelmed by the most basic tasks. Most of the time something goes wrong, and for some reason, instead of asking someone for help, he tries to fix everything himself, but just ends up making it worse.
Mr. Belvedere: An English butler lives in the Pittsburgh suburbs and writes in his diary about the mundane goings-on of his host family.
Mr. Brain: A Ginza host with impossibly good hair is crushed under a building, has his brain rebuilt, and gathers a ragtag band of misfits to solve crimes by eating bananas and playing children's games.
The Munsters: A caring, considerate family do their best to improve their community but are shunned and discriminated against by the rest of civilization.
The Muppet Show: A variety show—starring assorted singing and dancing animals, not to mention talking food—where nearly all of the acts end in total disaster. Comes complete with its own MST3K riffers.
Murder, She Wrote An elderly female author moonlights as a homicide investigator in her idyllic hometown and on the road. The author is a lovely woman, but an astonishing number of her friends, relatives, and neighbors die every year, such that her hometown has a murder rate 3 times that of Detroit in 1974. Murders are solved through keen observation skills, clever verbal traps, and convenient confessions.
Alternatively, an elderly woman is friends with a shocking number of people in her small town, which has a reputation of being idyllic despite its sky-high murder rate. She often assists in the apprehension of the murderers, and is miraculously never harmed despite her age and the fact that many of them have weapons.
My So-Called Life: A show about the problems of white, middle-class teenagers in the '90s. Is retroactively praised by people who weren't white, middle-class teenagers in the '90s.
Mystery Diagnosis: People are sick. Their doctors don't know why, until they do.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: A man is stuck in a satellite orbiting earth with some robots he made out of spare parts, and they are forced to watch bad old movies while mocking them. Join the fun!
Alternatively: A man, hated by the people he serves, is jettisoned into a spaceship. Each day, he is forced to watch torturous films that make the ones shown in A Clockwork Orange look mild. In a losing battle against loneliness, he builds several machines from various parts of the ship, who treat him worse than his employers. A truly sad story.
Alternatively: A scientist gives poor movie recommendations to three men with nothing better to do, but they still take constant breaks to play pretend.
Alternatively: Some people won't shut up about awful movies.
Nowhere Man: A photographer gets very convincingly erased. Over his course of Walking the Earth trying to unravel the conspiracy and get his family back, he becomes less and less convinced he was ever real.
NUMB3RS : A nice Jewish math genius writes on a chalkboard and finds criminals. The first criminal they find is always dead. The second is arrested.
The Odd Couple: A priggish intellectually pretentious Neat Freak and a down to earth, if short tempered, slob try to live together as roommates and friends.
The Office (UK): The boring lives of a group of people who work in a paper merchant's in Slough.
The Office (US): the surprisingly interesting lives of a dysfunctional group of people who work at a paper company in Scranton, PA.
Once Upon a Time: After getting into a fight with her son's custodial parent, a successful woman moves back in with her single mother, who is trying to get back together with her father.
Meanwhile, the son tries to prove that everyone in town is really from Disney's fantasy menagerie.
The Outer Limits (TOS: Demon with a Glass Hand) (Single episode of anthology series): An emotionless man with amnesia does everything his hand tells him, including walking into a hail of bullets. (He gets better.)
Penn & Teller: Bullshit!: Everything you know about life is wrong, and these two guys are going to tell you why. Bombastically.
Penny Dreadful: A Victorian adventurer, his possessed lady friend, and a Wild West performer search for the adventurer's kidnapped daughter. Meanwhile, their Ambiguously GayMad Scientist associate is confronted by his abandoned first born.
Peep Show: The humiliations and inner thoughts of an Odd Couple with no social skills whatsoever.
Pee-Wee's Playhouse: A man plays pretend with living furniture. A cowboy, a hot girl, a king, a mail lady, and a man wearing nothing but swimming trunks occasionally wander in.
Or: A chronic masturbator hangs out with talking furniture, a hot girl, and a black cowboy.
Phoenix Nights: A Deadpan Snarker cripple from Oop North decides to re-open a club, only to get it burned down again next series. He then repeats the process again next series, only without the burning. Despite this, people still want a Series 3.
Picket Fences: A small-town family and their acquaintances deal with increasingly offbeat visitors and criminals, all while maintaining a strong sense of values.
Pizza: Italian-Australian pizza delivery guys regularly find themselves dealing with the sorts of subjects and people Haruhi Suzumiya would be happy to meet.
Pointless: One half of a comedy duo encourages people to think of unpopular things, assisted by a guy whose computer doesn't work.
Poirot: Series about a pudgy, vain immigrant who refers to himself in the third person and has an imperfect command of English. He is a clotheshorse, and is so fastidious that he once puts a handkerchief on a park bench before sitting on it. He frequently boasts about a certain part of his anatomy. His frequent sidekicks includes a bland retired officer, who says "I say!" and "Good Lord!" at every opportunity, and a secretary obsessed with filing. They Fight Crime. The series occasionally adds sexuality and angst that weren't in the original stories.
Power Rangers: An American TV show with fight scenes made up of recycled footage from a Japanese show that somehow managed to be popular enough that most people have heard of it.
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: Teenagers become dinosaur-themed superheroes, then mythical-beast-based superheroes, then ninja superheroes, all while keeping the same costumes, even though all but one of the original members are replaced along the way.
Alternatively: Teenagers and RoboCop's environmentally-friendly cousin use trading cards to fight insects, robots, and toxic creatures.
Press Your Luck: Contestants answer low-IQ questions in order to press a button to win money. Small red things attempt to steal said money with various implements.
The Pretender: A kidnap victim with a mean streak habitually lies about who he is to solve mysteries.
Pretty Little Liars: Four teenaged girls who have almost nothing in common receive text messages from the same anonymous sender. This is part of a convoluted and intricate conspiracy.
The Price Is Right: Randomly selected contestants win cash and prized based on their knowledge of common supermarket items.
Primeval: College teacher is a dick to a bunch of amateurs who follow him unquestioningly. They cover up cryptid sightings and try to arrest the teacher's estranged spouse.
Or: A divorce gone wrong results in giant reptiles running around London. Snarky government official tolerates a nutcase scientist, big game hunter, techno geek and the only successful member of S Club 7 as they appear to do a better job than the special forces. Later a PR woman with multiple personality disorder, a sexy Egyptologist and Tom from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels attempt to kill giant super evolved bats.
Also: A whole bunch of random people chase dinosaurs that escaped from big, shiny balls of broken glass while trying to stop the main characters crazy wife who wants to commit suicide by erasing the human race.
Alternatively: History comes to life. Then eats you.
Prison Break: A man deliberately gets himself thrown in prison — after having his escape plan tattooed over his entire body.
The Prisoner: Man retires from his stressful job to an exclusive and seemingly idyllic resort, but spends all his time bitching about it and refuses to join in the fun and games like everyone else.
Prisoners Of Gravity: A man is stuck in a satellite orbiting Earth with a superintelligent computer and spends his time interviewing famous scifi and fantasy authors, which he broadcasts to the world by constantly interrupting a nature program.
Psych: An immature slacker convinces the police that he has ESP. He and his reluctant best friend solve murders and sing a series of 80s references as they do it.
Pushing Daisies: A baker/necromancer brings his murdered girlfriend back to life; together with an undead dog, a cynical private eye, and a singing waitress, they solve gruesome yet hilarious murders. One-eyed synchronized-swimming aunts, homeopathic mood enhancers, and a restaurant called the Pie Hole are involved.
Pyramid: Word association game played with a loud clock ticking in the background.
QI: Jeeves grills British comedians on obscure trivia. Negative scores are often allotted.
Four British comedians are asked apparently simple questions, then mocked if they give the obvious answer.
A British quiz game where all scores are arbitrary.
Quantum Leap: A semi-amnesiac scientist travels through time with his horny, invisible friend, who carries a computer disguised as a tetris cube (sometimes a calculator).
Red Dwarf: The last human in existence drifts through space in a vast abandoned ship. It's a comedy.
Alternatively, angry man dies and complains about it.
Alternatively, a young man with everything planned out is doomed to a miserable, lonely existence by his unlikeable superior. The superior is repeatedly shown that everything is his fault and that he could have been so much more, and each episode ends with a list of the other man's broken dreams and things he wanted from life, but is now half-resigned to never having. Because it's funneh.
Reno 911: A group of highly incompetent police officers are taped by a documentary crew.
Revenge: A psychopathic young woman infiltrates a snobbish society of backbiting socialites to execute an absurdly complicated retribution plot for a legal scandal that occurred fifteen years earlier. Meanwhile, she is aided by a bisexual antisocial billionaire and courted by several clueless young men who have absolutely no idea what she's really up to. Drama ensues.
Sapphire And Steel: Two socially-inept gods investigate ghosts and other paranormal phenomena, defeat eldritch horrors mostly by glaring at them, and have ridiculous amounts of UST despite allegedly existing only to do their job.
Saturday Night Live: Many educated men and women of all races, usually American, imitate the five British men discussed above but usually have their own writers and no moving paintings.
Scrubs: Two dorky white people strive to impress their black and Dominican best friends and shed their dependence on the "Well Done, Son!" Guy. Oh, and they save people's lives daily, but that doesn't seem enough to raise their self-esteem.
Or: A dorky white guy with an overactive imagination's adventures in a hospital full of doctors who must've bribed their way through med school.
SCTV: A local television station, run by an conniving owner who fakes being wheelchair-bound, forgoes airing cheap reruns to air incompetent original programming. The most popular material is a pure filler piece starting two beer swilling idiots.
Seinfeld: Four self-interested adults talk. About nothing.
"A Study in Pink": a relatively normal guy going through a rough patch in his life meets a quirky, free-spirited stranger with no regard for social conventions, who brings adventure into his depressing existence.
The Shield: Crime fighting show notable for asking such difficult questions as 'Is the Porn Stache the best way to get girls?'.
The Singing Detective: Murder investigation is frequently interrupted by song-and-dance numbers using well known forties songs and shots of some bloke with a skin problem wangsting.
Split Second: Game show in which three contestants earn as high a score as possible in the first two rounds, but the first player to go back down to zero in the third round is declared the champion.
Or a Jeopardy mimic with questions that all three players can answer — even if the first player gives a correct response.
Sportscenter: People spout lame catchphrases while reporting sports scores.
Sports Night: People talk about sports and fail at their personal lives.
Square One: A Pac-Man ripoff, various music stars, a pair of police detectives, and assorted other people teach children mathematics.
NUMB3RS: A ripoff of those "math detective" segments.
"Applied Math Saves The Day"
Stargate SG-1: A wisecracking colonel, an archaeologist who just won't die, a pretty blonde astrophysicist, and an alien revolutionary step through a big gray ring to fight snakes with glowing eyes and mechanical insects. Later, the colonel is promoted, so a new proverb-quoting colonel and an eccentric, flirty thief join up, this time to fight glowing energy beings who like to play god.
Stargate Atlantis: Interplanetary explorers get stranded in a flying city in another galaxy and must fight off spacevampires that feed on human life force.
A ship from an organization that is absolutely, positively, you better believe it, not a military organization goes about obeying a strict hierarchy of ranks, carrying spectacular amounts of firepower, involving itself in imperialistic power politics and killing or threatening to kill large numbers of intelligent life. This ship has a captain who cannot stay away from alien women, an exec with absurd mathematical prowess, a curmudgeonly doctor, and an engineer who always complains that the ship cannot stand any more. There are also numerous people dressed in red shirts to indicate that they are chosen for human sacrifice to the religion of plot necessity.
Alternatively: A crew of obscenely over talented people is ordered to get as far away from civilization as possible for five years. It quickly becomes clear that this was not a punishment, but someone upstairs being smart enough to realize the ship is a Doom Magnet.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: An enlightened old man, a young up-and-coming commander who refuses all promotions, an attractive female doctor (except for that year with the shrewish female doctor), and an android go where no one has gone before. They usually would rather not.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: A commander who never quite got over the death of his wife in the worst military loss his government ever had, a beautiful young woman with dark spots whom he keeps calling "old man," a hot-headed genius engineer, and an ambitious doctor straight out of medical school go where extremely ugly aliens have gone before and stay there. They meet a former freedom fighter (who has to get over some severe Fantastic Racism, albeit with a Freudian Excuse) and a security officer who sleeps in a bucket. When the young woman with spots is murdered by a possessed Complete Monster, she is replaced by a shrink.
A beautiful young woman with spots who loves waving a weird looking weapon around falls in love with an ape obsessed with his ancestors culture because that ape is even better at waving weird looking weapons around then she is.
Star Trek: Voyager: Two starships go where no one has gone before. The captain of one ship drafts everybody from the other into her organization (since they lost their ship), as well as a local and a mercenary, and then spends the series trying to go back without violating her peculiar moral code, whatever that may be. They all are forced to use a sophisticated computer program for medical treatment. About halfway through the series run, they pick up and draft a cyborg Emotionless Girl who is Beautiful All Along.
Or....literally going where no one has gone before. Anybody have a map??
Star Trek: Enterprise: An Iowa farm boy who's dreamt of space travel all his life, his Southern-accented chief engineer/best friend, an uptight British munitions officer, a black helmsman, a gorgeous Japanese linguist (played by a Korean), a gregarious alien doctor who commits murder on at least two occasions, and a stoic-yet-beautiful alien commander travel space at the beginning of humanity's efforts. They meet nasty aliens and get caught up in a lot of headache-inducing time stuff.
Or...how Mankind got it done before the aliens started pitching in.
Strangers with Candy: A middle-aged junkie prostitute attends a high school where all the other students are of normal age and the principal is an insane narcissist. The teachers hate the students and angst about everything. Important lessons are introduced but nobody learns them. Homes are broken, lives are ruined, and every episode ends in a dance sequence.
Supernatural: Two hot, dysfunctional brothers drive around the country fighting monsters, later accompanied by a hot angel, with a revolving door of hot recurring stars/guest stars. They Fight Monsters.
A pair of smokin' brothers hate themselves and love each other so much that they ruin the apocalypse and somehow piss off both Heaven and Hell.
Two ridiculously attractive brothers travel around the US having the most miserable lives known to mankind.
Or, A show about two mentally-challenged underwear-model brothers trying to impress God.
Super Sentai: A long-running Japanese live-action superhero franchise, which involves a team of people fighting evil while wearing brightly-colored suits. Is known to American audiences for having its fight scenes adapted into an entirely different premise.
Survivor: A bunch of people that have no business living with one another are thrown into the middle of nowhere and have to live with one another.
Teen Wolf: Teenage boy becomes werewolf, gets better at lacrosse. Everything else gets worse.
Remake of a 25 year old teen movie, In Name Only, airs on MTV.
The 10th Kingdom: A waitress, a janitor, a golden retriever, and an obsessed ex-con chase a mirror, while pursued by three idiots who love the Bee Gees. Meanwhile, the Big Bad teaches a dog how to be a man and spends the rest of her time talking to mirrors (or Al Bundy).
That '70s Show: Main character is nerd with a crush on tomboy. Setting is a dull city filled with rednecks. Main characters do lots of drugs.
Or: A group of teenagers live through the 1970s. When 1980 comes they can't remember the 70s.
3rd Rock from the Sun: A military officer working for a foreign dictator hides in a small American town under a false identity with three subordinates posing as his relatives. He regularly has sex with a local woman who doesn't know his true identity. Hilarity Ensues.
This Is Wonderland: A woman named Alice chases a shy man with no pants, encounters drug addicts, gets a haircut from her Ambiguously Gay opponent, argues with a Stepford Smiler who wants to be royalty, and sits through various bizarre trials conducted by a wannabe clown with an explosive brain.
The Three Stooges: A trio of "brothers" take odd jobs, but mostly spend half the time arguing and beating each other up.
The Walking Dead: An ex-cop, a pizza delivery boy and a redneck team up with an untrustworthy ex-cop, an old man with a shotgun and a black guy to protect themselves against shambling people who like to bite things.
Three's Company: A guy pretends to be gay so that he can live with two women to whom he is not romantically linked.
Top Gear: Three middle-aged men arse about with cars and a whole bunch of the BBC's money.
Or: A large, blustery man, a secret American who whitens his teeth, a man unable to drive fast, and a man(?) in a racing suit muck about with cars in an airplane hangar.
Top Gear: The Great Adventures: Same middle aged men race across countries across the world, getting injured, getting drunk, freezing their arses off, having stones thrown at them by hicks and making friends with Companion Cubes along the way.
Twin Peaks: Quirky agent with a sweet tooth visits town to solve murder mystery. Strange people from his dreams help him.
Or: An FBI agent tries to solve a murder with the help of a midget, a giant, and a dead girl from his dreams. Spoiler: Satan did it.
Ugly Betty: An iconoclastic woman works in an industry she hates so she can preach about it. Her father is a murderer, her best friend at work is an alcoholic, and her nephew is friendly with a minion of the Big Bad.
Ultraviolet: A former policeman, a doctor, a Gulf War veteran, and Catholic priest team up to fight vampires, while mulling over the ethics thereof.
V-2009: The government opens up relations with a foreign power, and our heroes respond by blowing up buildings. Also, there's a kid who wants to bang a lizard.
Veronica Mars: A blonde high-school age female solves a crime every episode with the help of her African-American male friend, trusty dog, and protective father while she struggles to fit into the high school social scene. (Hint: it's not Nancy Drew.)
Victorious: A teenage girl attends a performing arts high school where she gets to sing and perform in plays, while getting into wacky situations.
Warehouse 13: A group of hoarders travel the world looking for unique knick-knacks.
Weeds: A soccer mom's husband dies of a sudden heart attack. She decides to pursue alternate career options to keep the family afloat with the help of her eccentric chef brother-in-law, a sassy black woman, an obnoxious blonde with cancer, and her two sons, one of whom is a psychopath and the other of which is boinking a deaf chick.
The West Wing: Alternatively: Trivia enthusiast attempts to solve world's problems with help of young idealists. This involves a lot of lengthy conversations conducted whilst walking up and down corridors.
Yes, Minister: Alternatively: Loquacious snob works his hardest to ensure that a man never accomplishes anything of merit.
Yes, Minister: Alternatively: Three middle-aged men discuss politics.
The Thick of It: Alternatively: A minor British governmental ministry attempts to deal with public image crises while trying to avoid getting sworn at.
Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego: Pretty much the same premise as above, only this time they hunt down the world-renowned thief all across the space time continuum. Oh, and her Mooks aren't as cartoonish this time around.
Win Ben Steins Money: Snooty emcee gambles his paycheck against the intellects of three everyday citizens, then competes against these citizens to prevent himself from going home penniless. Homoerotic humor ensues.
Wipeout: A game show in which the dregs of humanity are pushed onto an assault course/obstacle course/the inflatable seven circles of hell and attempt to get to the other end in the quickest time. Most are hindered by four large bouncy balls that they must traverse and will eventually give them crippling back problems later in life. Anyone who is good is mocked. Anyone who is bad is mocked. Anyone who is fat will be fixated on as they are made to writhe cruelly in the mud. The entire event is presided over by an entirely unsympathetic plastic woman.
Total Wipeout: Similar concept, but the people are from a different country. A short guy who likes cars narrates.
The Wire A show where some of the "heroes" include a drunk Irish cop, a drug addict with a penchant for putting red hats on people, a reformed felon, and a gay stickup artist. The antagonists include a man who goes to community college and works at a copy centre, a young adult who hangs out at a wheel rim shop, a boss that doesn't have a valid driver's license, and an enforcer with a love for tropical fish.
A cop show, but instead of solving one case per episode, they take an entire season just to resolve one. Your favorite plot may get minutes of screen development in any given hour long episode. Despite the glacial pacing, the show includes long rambling discussions in bars and devotes staggering amounts of time documenting petty office politics. Pretty much everyone is a bastard. It somehow managed five seasons despite tanking in the ratings throughout.
Wizards of Waverly Place: An antisocial girl torments her family, who can't stand her. She and her brothers will fight to obtain the ability to do magic tricks.
WWE SmackDown!: A George Jefferson lookalike and a shrill Hispanic woman try to put on a stunt show with lots of hidden cameras, only you don't see the action until three days later. One of their employees is a giant zombie who skips work a lot.
WWE ECW on Sci-Fi: A ponytailed Jew, a Cuban businessman, the George Jefferson lookalike mentioned above and a few others try to put on a stunt show with lots of hidden cameras in which a bunch of middle-aged Irish and Italian street punks battle a crop of young bucks over who best exemplifies a violent East Coast brand of entertainment that passed out of existence for almost four years. Arguably its biggest star is a teetotaler with no first or middle name.
Alternate: A man and woman who get fired and/or demoted frequently argue about who's right (usually the man) while their boss looks uncomfortable, their nemesis smokes, their family and friends get killed off, and they try to deny - unsuccessfully - that they are sleeping together.