Better Than It Sounds:
: A patient returns home and celebrates a Halloween holiday.
: Hancock Jerk Ass superhero gets a PR man.
: The Hand That Rocks the Cradle Attack of the killer nanny.
: A group of friends go out for a night on the town and wake up not remembering a thing. You see more of the latter than the former.
The Hangover : Several layers of social commentary, wrapped in a 'first contact' subtext, taped with religious and mythic connotations, and directed by George Miller, to boot. Oh, and there's tap-dancing. Happy Feet In Antarctica.
: Happy Gilmore Billy Madison plays golf so his grandmother doesn't have to live with Derek Zoolander.
: A schoolteacher takes driving classes and has a social life.
Happy Go Lucky : A pop band and a grandfather spend time in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. They all then get chased by the police and perform a concert.
A Hard Day's Night : A drummer from a pop band gets on the wrong side of an Indian death cult and a Help!! Mad Scientist with funding issues because of a new ring.
: Mean people invade an idyllic land and are defeated by Yellow Submarine The Power of Rock.
An old man, author, and four musicians have psychedelic adventures and fight mean people.
: Assisted by a group of magicians who live in the clouds, a bus tour becomes much more exciting.
Magical Mystery Tour : A band tries to revive its team spirit, only to make things worse.
Let It Be : Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band The Bee Gees steal a bunch of musical instruments from Aerosmith's hired goons, and it's almost a downer ending until the weather vane comes to life.
: The Hamiltons It's just like , Party of Five except they're cannibalistic serial killers.
: Two stoners have difficulty finding their favorite restaurant.
Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle : Harriet the Spy Dawn Summers writes things in a notebook.
: A boy discovers he has a talent and goes to a school for his talent, where the teachers, as in real life, are either good or bad.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone : A workaholic and his kids try to stop a creepy butler from making the workaholic's wife marry a ghost. It's based on a theme park ride.
The Haunted Mansion : Two workaholics find themselves in direct competition as each aims to completely screw up the other's plans, as all the while their personal lives implode spectacularly. The highlight of the movie is a scene in which the two meet for the first time, have a friendly coffee and pleasantly and calmly discuss why exactly they're trying to screw each other over.
Heat : A popular girl falls for a bad boy as they plan to blow up their school. Hijinks ensue.
Heathers : Heavyweights Fat Camp: The Movie.
: A transsexual rock musician stalks her ex-boyfriend in an attempt to sue him for copyright infringement.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch : Old men in bug suits fight young men in bug suits. Train-themed heroes get dragged into this mess.
Heisei Rider Vs Showa Rider Kamen Rider Wars Featuring Super Sentai : Man defies his main purpose in life.
Hellboy : Elven attempt at saving the Earth from those foolish humans meets demonic resistance. The demon is the good guy.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army Or: The scattered members of a once powerful, noble, ancient magical race have a family reunion in an American sewer and immediately start to quarrel over the remote control.
: A man Hellraiser recovering from a terminal illness has an affair with his brother's wife. Later, his niece plays with a Rubik's cube and hangs out with some kinky goths.
: Three kids get turned into fish due to an Help! I'm a Fish Absent-Minded Professor being concerned with the environment. Hilarity doesn't ensue, as another fish goes on an ego trip, and tries to become king of the sea. The fish sounds like Alan Rickman.
Alternatively: Three kids turn into sea creatures because an Absent-Minded Professor is worried about the environment. Soon, they discover that the antidote that was supposed to make them human again gave some fish intelligence. Oh yeah, and Alan Rickman's in it.
: The struggles of a California man with an inconvenient spot on his wall.
Henry Poole Is Here : Clumsy guy discovers he's adopted and tries to Hercules get the approval of his real dad. In the meantime he falls for Emotionless Girl while discovering his uncle wants to move into dad's place.
: A guy tells the king a story. The king says he's lying. The guy admits it. In the meantime, Hero sword-fighters slay all laws of physics.
: A self-absorbed, broke music store owner is dumped by his lawyer girlfriend, and is bitter about it. Gets over it by hanging out with his employees and sleeping with one of the Cosby children. Later goes into business with teenagers who once tried to rob him.
High Fidelity : We have to watch Gary Cooper's every move for over an hour. The rest of the town tries to get him to just go away. Most people seem dissatisfied with his choices, including himself. At one point there's a heated debate in which everyone decides not to do anything.
High Noon : Mysterious stranger takes a bath and paints the town red.
High Plains Drifter : Super-centenarian travels to New York to claim a prize.
Highlander : Editor attempts to persuade retiring journalist to cover execution by repeatedly framing insurance agent for minor misdemeanors.
His Girl Friday : One man is a king, a prophet, a philosopher, a pissboy, and torturer with a History of the World Part I musical number that nobody expects.
: Hitch Jim West gives advice to the Zookeeper and is allergic to shellfish.
: Young man picks up a hitchhiker, whom he kicks out after a tiff; the guy keeps giving him presents and a waitress does some serious stretching.
The Hitcher : The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The world ends, everyone dies. When the world is restarted at the end of the movie, the hero is offered the chance to adjust the world, making the world have more or less of anything. He decides not to interfere, and he goes traveling instead. This is supposed to be a comedy.
: A film consisting entirely of a guy sitting around in a basement while talking to his imaginary friend and looking at naked women.
Hive Mind : Small man roped into a travel steals a piece of jewelry from a man with multiple personality disorder.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey : Small people attempt to steal from a The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug rich guy. Rich guy is not happy.
: Vagrant acquires a smoothbore firearm.
Hobo With a Shotgun : A boy is accused of stealing shoes even though he didn't. He's sent to a desert to dig holes as punishment.
Holes : Family comedy about a young child who is abandoned by his family and robbed in his own home. On Christmas Eve.
Home Alone : Family comedy about a young child inflicting incredibly graphic and brutal torture on two comic bunglers. Still on Christmas Eve.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York : Family comedy about a young child with chicken pox. Not the same one as in the previous two films but this one is aided by a parrot and a mouse. Not on Christmas Eve.
Home Alone 3 : Kids discover how dangerous the garden of their house is.
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids : The leader of a group of Hook Child Soldiers returns a changed person. A sword fight pits two crossdressers against one another.
: Dysfunctional family band together to save youngest member from giant lungfish that may or may not be carrying SARS.
The Host : Model one-man British police force gets transferred from his crime-infested city to a town where Hot Fuzz nothing bad ever happens. His partner, a fat guy who loves Buddy Cop Shows, wants to make his life exciting again. Lots of Ho Yay ensues.
Police officer ruins village inspection.
: Dysfunctional couple try to resolve their problems with a house party.
House on Haunted Hill (1959) : Rightful tenants of a comfy, spacious house hang around until a bunch of greedy people arrive to pester them.
The 1999 version : How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Ace Ventura doesn't like Christmas or razors.
: Three popular actresses plot a get-rich-quick scheme by vainly chasing men around New York City. A TV series, which is actually worse than this, is known to exist, but only because the girl who replaced the most popular of three said actresses is How to Marry a Millionaire a genie.
: Woman is romantically pursued by supernatural stalker named Edward. Based on the popular novel of the same name.
The Howling : Scrawny young teen stops a seven-generation long war and impresses his dad by eating a raw fish that his best friend spit back up. How to Train Your Dragon Cuteness ensues.
Alternate: Pretty girl ignores nerd until he gets a new ride.
: Scrawny young man is surprised to find common ground with a long-lost relative, then tries (and fails) to reason with a homicidal maniac.
How to Train Your Dragon 2 : After industrialist commits suicide, board of directors appoint naive mail-room clerk to position of CEO, whereupon he promptly invents the hula-hoop.
The Hudsucker Proxy : A squatter's broken toy leads an old man to confront his past.
Hugo : A government official tries to rape The Hunchback of Notre Dame Demi Moore and emotionally abuses a handicapped man who talks to architecture. It's a musical.
: A member of Parliament starves to death. Meanwhile, prison guards clean up lots of bodily fluids.
Hunger : Girl gets stuck in some woods, and tries to leave them with her neighbor.
The Hunger Games : The girl and her neighbor are sent to a beach.
Catching Fire : The Hunt for Red October Sean Connery steals a giant submarine. Alec Baldwin finds it. In the process World War III almost breaks out. On Christmas.
Alternate: The memory of his deceased wife prompts a ship captain to contemplate a career change.
: Two guys have to put up with a new co-worker who enjoys their job a little too much. The Hurt Locker Explosive levels of angst ensue.
: Pimp loves his girls, raps about beating them.
Hustle & Flow