2012: Estranged husband tries to bond with his kids, only to find out that he really picked a bad time to do so.
24 Hour Party People: Socially inept news reader sets up record label where the top bands include a band who are accused of being Nazis and whose singer commits suicide, an anorexic man and a group of drug-addled lunatics, including their maracas-wielding dealer. Based on a true story.
25th Hour: A man goes to jail.
28 Days Later: Bicycle courier finds himself on the run from extremely ticked-off urbanites. He meets up with a woman keen on hacking people to death with a machete, a slightly mad taxi driver, and his quiet daughter, who take him on a road trip through the countryside. The four encounter a small group of soldiers living in a country mansion who intend to restart the human race. One of them wears a pink apron.
300: Barely dressed soldiers from an incredibly toxic culture fight with "metro-sexual version of the Devil". (Sort of) based (indirectly) on what might be a true story.
(500) Days of Summer: A hopeless romantic falls for a quirky young woman who doesn't believe in true love. Hilarity/heartache ensue.
8 Mile: White man successfully co-opts black culture to impress other whites.
8½: A philandering Jerk Ass of a filmmaker tries to make a film while dealing with a midlife crisis and hallucinating elements from his past. Is not the kind of thing you go around making musicals for.
Admission: Straightlaced college admissions officer falls in love with Paul Rudd and gains a son.
Across the Universe: The Sixties happen to a group of young people who fall in love, take some drugs, have lots of sex, briefly hate each other, and then reunite as friends in the end. And they express these emotions by singing Beatles songs.
Or: Guy who does not legally exist and tends to do the wrong thing with good intentions falls for girl whose brother gets drafted into the surrealist division of the US Army. Oh, and this is really a musical.
Adaptation: Screenwriter tries to turn a book into a screenplay, finds it impossible, so writes a screenplay about that.
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane: Chauvinist Fonz-wannabe foils convoluted music industry conspiracy while drinking flaming milkshakes and insulting Al Bundy about his early disco career. Also features Tone Loc occasionally throwing people from rooftops and Freddy Krueger doing the worst British accent in all history.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad: Two completely different classic stories, about a crazy driver must be calmed down, and a schoolteacher that has problems returning home from a party.
Aladdin: Orphaned Street Urchin falls in love with Rebellious Princess, seduces her with the help of near-omnipotent comedian and a piece of fabric, and defeats the bad guy by trapping him into a device used for lighting.
Boy tries to hit on girl with magic. It works.
The Return of Jafar: Big Bad comes back to try and take the kingdom. He is defeated by his own parrot, who has become a good guy.
The only one who can save the world is a belligerent parrot.
Aladdin and the King of Thieves: The urchin and the princess are about to get married, when the wedding is crashed by the boy's father and his workmates.
Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland: Girl with sleep disorder accidentally takes a wrong turn while fleeing from reality. She then teams up with a neurotic butler, a midget warrior, a crazy cook, and a fashion-conscious contortionist to help an imprisoned pacifist, whose sister has strange taste in interior design.
Alien: A stomach cramp gets out of hand (or: inter-species rape).
Or: One of many Jaws knockoffs, except in space (by the writers own admission). It's also so devoid of original ideas that the monster just rips off the reproductive methods of wasps.
Aliens: An entire colony has stomach cramps (or: inter-species gang rape). The only one who can help them was sleeping for years.
Alternately: A gang that consists primarily of white males travels to a far-away land, where they display an alarming intolerance for the indigenous population.
Or: Following a film that was a masterpiece of subtlety and suspense, the sequel throws that all out and turns into an action flick, recycles the motion sensor scene from the first film several times, and shoehorns in a Mecha fight at the end. Clearly this was a fanfic masquerading as a movie.
Altered States: William Hurt combines sensory deprivation with Mexican mushrooms to experience his own genetic memory, and triggers a transformation into a primitive hominid and later a blob of primordial consciousness.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: A down-on-his-luck songwriter's fortune changes when he takes in a trio of singing rodent siblings, before a Jerkass record producer entices them into record label slavery.
Amadeus: An old man is still obsessed with his rival, decades after killing him.
Amarcord: A young man fondly recalls his life in a port town in Fascist Italy, which includes scurrilous rumors about his neighbors, his dad getting threatened by the secret police, and a sexual encounter with an obese tobacconist.
Amélie: A spaced-out but shy waitress plays matchmaker with her friends, whilst an old man who can never leave his apartment tries to set her up with a weird guy who works in a porn shop.
Or: A woman runs around an over-idyllic fantasy Paris in a way that makes social anxiety look merely cute and misunderstood.
American Beauty: Dirty old man fantasizes about teenager, smokes pot, dies.
Animal House: Jonny Quest aims to win over his rival's blonde trophy, but is ultimately beaten to the punch by a slovenly, mostly silent Polish-American. A future theme park tour guide tricks Quest into walking into a trap set by hateful neighbors. He and his zoologically affiliated brethren later wreak vengeance on these neighbors and others like them, with the help of thousands of small glass orbs and a carnivorous-looking Batmobile.
Another Earth: A science fiction movie that completely ignores its own genre in favor of the story of a girl who mopes miserably after she kills a family in a drunk driving accident.
Antz: A neurotic guy accidentally becomes a hero to the working class, discovers a utopia, and thwarts the plans of a Stupid Evil racist, when all he wanted was to get into the pants of a princess.
A multiethnic group of low-income teenagers battles an invasive species.
Audition: A Japanese widower looks for love by finding an actress during a movie audition. The woman he chooses is a killer who uses piano wire to cut limbs off, and has a limbless, still living man tied up in a bag at home.
Or - Widowed, bogus casting director would like to meet hot babe for tediously prolonged courtship. Turn ons: acupuncture, neurotoxins, rubber-wear and body modification.
Austin Powers: A sex addict travels through time to keep his wimpy, awkward brother from destroying the world.
The Avengers: Overtly narcissistic guy, overtly pompous guy, overtly angry guy, overtly patriotic guy, overtly chilly guy and overtly troubled chick are forced to join together against the pompous guy's brother.