Awesome / The Longest Yard

The Remake

  • When the game gets started, the Mean Machine quickly falls to a two touchdown deficit because the convicts are more interested in hitting the guards than playing the game. An enraged Crewe quickly tears into them, combining a brief "The Reason You Suck" Speech with Dare to Be Badass.
    Crewe: What are we celebrating for?! It's 14-nothing! You guys wanna beat these assholes? Do it on the scoreboard! [...] Look! A broken leg will heal. A loss to the Mean Machine lasts forever.
    • The best part about it is that it makes the three most feared cons on the team (Battle, Torres, and Turley) actually apologize for getting carried away, and gets his team back on track.
  • Crewe's method of dealing with a biased referee may have caused a turnover on downs, but it did the job in awesome (and hilarious) fashion.
  • A meta one as well. Coach Scarborough, a man very well seasoned with age and prison life, managed to show that he won that Heisman trophy with skill and balls with that Fumblerooski. The kicker? The just 70-year-old Burt Reynolds himself insisted that he run that play! And it was done in one take! Sure he had to be helped off the field, but one could tell that he thought it was Worth It.
  • After Dunham insults him following a long run, Megget tells Switowski how Dunham and two other guards taunted him in the library. Switowski, enraged, proceeds to knock the corn out of Dunham's shit on the next play with a well placed clothesline. The best part?
    Switowski: I think I made-ed him shit himself.
    Coach Scarborough: I think he just shit himself.
    Sportswriters: I think he just shit himself.
    Stretcher Guy: Good Lord, this guy shit himself big time!
    Switowski: [jumps up and down, celebrating] See? I told you I made-ed him shit himself!
    Megget: Yo! I'll make sure to send them books to the hospital, pimp.
    Deacon: And some diapers!

  • Another one with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's character. Dunham is trying to provoke a African member of Crewe's team into attacking him by making racist comments. Other black characters witness this and after Crewe had earned their respect playing Unnecessary Roughness prison basketball they run out to join his team.

  • After going into throw-the-game mode after halftime, and then benching himself with a feigned knee injury, Crewe realizes that the Warden isn't keeping his end of the deal. (having ordered his men to get a three-touchdown lead instead of a two-touchdown lead, and then inflict as much pain as possible on the convicts) After getting a Was It Really Worth It? affirmative from Skitchy, Crewe reenters the game, but the other convicts refuse to block for him, thinking he's just going to throw the game some more. After taking two massive hits from the Guards, Crewe refuses to let his team punt the ball away, instead calling a quarterback draw. He proceeds to dodge a blitz, losing his helmet in the process, but scrambles for a game-saving first down.