The main character, Victor Meldrew, stumbles upon a senior care center for mentally ill seniors, where the staff brutally abuse the residents, and lock two of them under the stairs. His response? While the staff relax, he breaks in, frees the people from under the stairs, distracts the staff and drugs their booze with Valium. He then confronts the owner of the establishment, and informs her that he is going to call the police. When she threatens him, one of the abused residents jabs her with a needle filled with I.V. Valium. While they're knocked out, he and Mr. Swainey plant the staff's feet in concrete, move them out into a nearby field, and make them up like scarecrows. Then he calls the police. The staff aren't discovered, but the inmates are rescued. All of this is coming from one of the most incompetent men in England (who has spent the first twenty minutes of the episode being his usual magnet for disaster, self-inflicted or otherwise).
The manner he calls out the owner is exceptionally awesome. He first enters the building politely asking to retrieve his watch (which he left behind during an earlier misadventure; when he first realised he had left it behind, he witnessed the abuse firsthand through the letterbox and then hatched the above plan), then just as he is about to leave, he passively stops, chuckling as he realises he almost forgot. Forgot what? He forgot to tell her what an evil, loathsome bastard he thinks she is.
Victor: I wouldn't treat a sewer rat the way you treat these people and I shall be talking to the Social Services Department first thing in the morning, to tell them about the sickening brutality that goes on around here in the name of geriatric care! Miss Lander: *contained fury* I have to look after the welfare of all my residents, not just one or two! You haven't the first understanding of the way their minds work, or the destructive behaviour they're capable of! Victor: I- I'm sorry, what language are you talking? It appears to be bollocks!
Patrick also gets one of these when he shoots up a truckful of garden gnomes with a machine gun to get revenge on Victor. Granted, Victor doesn't really deserve it, but it's still awesome.
Victor engineering an interview with a computer salesman who cut him off while driving just to deliberately waste his time.
Victor gets a job as a doorman, and by his first day is bullied and snarked at by a couple of insufferable snobs. After the husband sneers at him to buck up his act while he's around, Victor complies and, after snatching the husband's toupee from his head and throwing it down the drain, gives the speechless pair a most vicious "apology" before resigning on the spot, and taking their taxi home. Watch it here.
Victor: I am very sorry neither of you can manage to master the mechanics of a door handle, it must be very complicated with your limited brainpower! Oh, and do forgive me for not getting the fur coat out...because if you hadn't chopped its legs off in the first place it would have climbed out on its own, but there we are. And you ask me if I want to go on working here, where if it means sucking up to odious bastards like you two every day, then I'd rather be unemployed, thank you very much!
Victor giving the most swift and instant dismissal of a door to door saleswoman:
Saleswoman: Good morning.
Victor: Goodbye. (Closes door.)
Mrs Warboys: Evening Mr Meldrew! I can't stay long-